Top 10 Viral Names _ Max Amini _ Stand-Up Comedy

I'm from Iraq. You're from Iraq? What's your name? Tito. Tito? I'm from Iraq. What's your name? Tito. I have big muscles. I kill you. Tito? Mohammed, change your name. Find something better. He is really Mohammed? How did Mohammed become Tito? With all those muscles? How did you pick Tito? Seriously. How did you pick Tito? By accident? Were you at a gay club? You look like a Tito. Oh my goodness. I like Tito. I take the name. Indians. Where my Indians at? Nice to see you, buddy. I like that guy. What's your name? Sakdik. Sakdik? I appreciate the offer. Thank you so much for coming tonight. I'm sure you're very busy all day. I'm going to talk to you for the rest of the show. You're in a relationship? What's his name? You're straight? Just Sakdik. I get it. My brother. I love you, man. From the bottom of my heart, you have a great sense of humor. But please, change your name. There's a beautiful Indian name that I can help you with. It's one of my favorite Indian names. Eat Pussy. It's a much better name. Eat Pussy. Much better than Sakdik. Only because you're straight. Now, if you weren't straight, that would have been a perfect name. Wow, you would have been the luckiest gay guy ever. Sakdik. Okay, no problem. What do you do for a living? I suck dick. I'm joking. That was f***ed up. I would never... Max, stop! I'm going to stop. Because you... I mean... I love how you're laughing so hard. You're amazing, dude. What's your job? What do you do? Europe? SAP? Do you know what that is? He has no idea. IT? Are you also Indian? She translated for me. Maxim, you're stupid. Everybody knows what that is. I tell you the abbreviation stands for IT. Thank you. I appreciate it. Do you know Sakdik? He's the nicest guy in the world. In Australia, when you say your name, do people joke with you? Nobody. They get scared, huh? They're like, oh, ----. Now am I... He'd run away. I will suck my dick! All right. We're going to stop here, okay? Can I be honest? You have superpower with the name Sakdik. You know? To be able to live in a society, English-speaking country, and you're like, no, I'm not going to change my name. I am Sakdik. It's a beautiful Indian name. You don't like it? Suck my dick. And I want to say, I swear to God, Indians, not only the nicest people, but they have the best sense of humor in the motherfucking world, and you're the prime example of it. What a dude, man. Ten minutes, we talked about his name, and he didn't even give a ----. Are you Greek? Yes. I want to learn some Greek names. What's your name? Mario. Mario? Oh, that's Italian. You guys have very interesting names. What's your name? Spiros. I love that. Why didn't you get a cool name like Spiros? Right here. What's your name? Kyriakos. No. Your name is Kyriakos? It's a Greek name? Kyriakos? In my language, it is the worst two names next to each other. Kyriakos. Oh, his name is Kyriakos? Dude, you get this? Straight up. Where are you from? Greek? How do you say dick in Greek? Why did you change your mind halfway through? You said something, and you go, no, I changed my mind. No. A lot of words. What's the worst? Because this is the worst for us. Hold on. I don't understand. What is it? Poutos. Poutos? Poutos. And then, what's the opposite, the worst? Mouni. When you say it, do you have to do this? Yeah? You say, Mouni. Poutos. Mouni. Poutos. This guy, this guy does sign language at the same time. So the prime minister's name is Poutos Mouni. You get it? You come to Iran, and you go, who's the prime minister? Poutos Mouni. What's that? You came from Iceland? Ask her name? Sure, what's your name? Say it again. Go again. Oh my God. I was wrong again? That's a really beautiful name. That's really your name? You were born with that name? Can I ask you an honest question? Your mom and dad, they have speech impairment? So when you're born, the nurse is like, what should we name the baby? Excuse me, what is it? One second. Okay, we got it. The nurse walks away with it. And no one can ever say her name, ever. Even the parents. They have a paper next to them all the time. Jennifer. Linda. You're so cute. That's why you have a nickname, which is What is it? Oh, the nickname is harder than the name. She goes, no. Well, you're so beautiful. From Iceland, yeah? Yeah, it must have been cold the day you were born. That's why your parents were stuttering that day. You guys like it? It's like you cannot say her name without spitting out How romantic is it for the husband? I love you. Give me a kiss. She's standing there like I love you, too. That's so good. Husband, what's your name? You don't have a husband? Well, if you change your name, you'll find love. Really, I'm so glad you guys came. What's your name? James. Very Chinese. What about you, honey? Sonia. Sonia? You guys have the easiest Chinese names I've ever heard in my life. James and Sonia. It's not your real name? What is your real name? Mu Chow. I like Mu Chow. Mu Chow sounds very cool, man. And it's easy. And James, what's your real name? Hao. Hao? F***ing easy. But very confusing, right? Hi, I'm Max. Hao. Hao, my name is Max. Well, my parents named me Max. Hao. That's why you changed it to James. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. I love your name. Hao. Sir, you got the job. Hao. Are you not sure that you're good at this job? Hao. I love you two. I'm so happy you're here, yeah? And I love you more, honey. I'm very happy that I have more and more Chinese fans, you know? It's great. I love the Chinese culture. Yeah? Hao. I explain. I love fortune cookies. And I crack it. Just the sound. And you just pull that thing out. And it says something so positive, so beautiful. Your dick will grow longer. Drink more green tea. It's so wonderful. How long have you been living in Austin? 20 years. 26 years? You're kidding me. Hao. No, no. I'm not saying Hao. I'm saying 26 years. Hao. Wow. Hao. That's wonderful. And what do you do here now? You're a physician. Chinese don't age. He looks 22 years old. Wow. Okay, good for you. What kind of physician? Family doctor. Smart business, right? You meet a family. You go, I kill all of you. Let's go. I show you. What's your name, sir? Thaddeus. Darius? Thaddeus. Thaddeus? Okay, and where are you from? Virginia. Thaddeus. It's a Greek god. Oh, really? It's a Greek god? No, look at me. You look like a Greek god. No. You're so white you're like, I need something interesting. I need to change my name to Darius. I like it. That's your lady with you? Nice to meet you, darling. What's your name? Stacy. Oh, you're so beautiful. Thanks for coming. Do you guys work for ICE? It's very rare. I have two super white, white, extra white, transparent white, Darius type of white. I'm very happy you're here, even if you kick us all out of the country. What? My name is Payam, but I go by Pam. Her name is Payam, but she goes by Pam. Payam. In the Iranian culture, it's a guy's name. When she was born, they thought she has a... When she was born, her arm was between her leg. They're like, it's a boy. It's a boy. It's a big boy. Look how big this boy is. Oh, my God. Payam, in the Iranian culture, means message. Like, he's coming out with a big message. And then they're like, no, it's her arm. Oh, ----. We named her Payam already. Okay, how about Pam? Go by Pam. This guy, fun. Look how fun this guy is with his gym outfits. Buddy, you're so tall. 6'4 or something, huh? How tall are you? 6'4, exactly. What's your name? Rawmak. His name is Rawmak. For my non... Let me explain. For my non-persons. In the Iranian culture, Rawmak is a girl's name. He was born. Nothing was there. They're like, oh, my God, it's a girl. Rawmak it is. Two weeks later, something poked out. They're like, oh, my God, something is happening. Oh, my God, Rawmak is a guy. I've never met a Rawmak this big in my life. What's your name? Rawmak. What's your name? Aspen. Aspen? She said, not Aspen. I want to get your name right. Say it one more time. Elsbeth. Els... Beth. Elsbeth. Okay, I did good. Elsbeth. Yeah? Okay. Let's get to know a few more Norwegians. Sir, what's your name? Andres. Very easy. Even easier than Elsbeth. Andres. Buddy, what's your name? Stig. Stig? Are you sure? Why did it end? Stig. There's no ending to the name? They just left it halfway. Stig. Ask your parents. They might have forgotten to finish it on paper. Stig. It should be an ending to it, no? I'm happy you came to my show. What's your last name? Dickinson. Let me tell you a story real quick, Dickinson. I did have a friend at age seven. Yeah, age seven. I brought one of my friends home. When you're a young Persian kid, you live in America, you bring your friends home. It's very scary because your white friends need to be already educated before they meet your parents. Yeah? I'm seven, eight years old. I was very young. I'm bringing my friend home and I said, hey bro, when you come in, when you see my parents, if they said anything, just pretend it's cool, okay? Don't be scared. They're really nice people but sometimes they come off scary but they're really nice people, okay? It's like, alright, it's okay. So the kid walks into my house, my dad, who is this? Who are you? Who is your family? What does your father do? Where you come from? It's so intense. Then he goes, my name is Dick. Dick? Oh my God. Your parents call you Dick? Dick? Honey, they call him Dick. How does your mother call you? Dick come in, Dick go out? And then he got mad, get this dick out of my house! Get this dick out of my house! And I was a kid, I'm like, dad, relax, I like Dick. That's the last day I saw Dick Dickinson. Buddy, what kind of piss you had to take in the middle of the most important part of the show you got off? There was a make out scene and you're like, I don't care, I'm going to peace. You missed the most epic part of the show. Isn't that much of an emergency, bro? You're a big guy too, you got up, the whole theater emptied. What's your name? Jihad? Oh, buddy, take it easy. Thank you so much. You can leave anytime you like. We want to make peace with you. My name is Allahu Akbar. Take it easy, okay? Why? Why did you even show up tonight? You're scaring everybody. You kept your name. Wow. How do you live in Canada? Who gives a job to this guy? Hi, what's your name? Jihad. Can you imagine this guy working customer service? Hello, thank you for calling Tim Horton, this is Jihad speaking. Is that your real birth name? No. No? His name was like Majid, he's like, not good enough. He's going around like, my name is Majid, Canadians are like, oh, nice to meet you. Oh, it doesn't scare them. I'm going to change it to Jihad.