Ryan Reynolds Effortlessly Hilarious Interview Clips

And you, decent guy? No, no, no, no, no, no. Terrible human being. How old are your girls now? I have no idea. Yeah. Is Ryan Reynolds missing a tooth? What are you... No, these are all my teeth. What the hell is going on here? Ryan Reynolds is missing a lot of things. Let's get these calf implants out too while we're at it. They were no longer dressed up as Pirates of the Caribbean, but everybody was dressed up as Deadpool. Ha, suck it, Jack Sparrow. Yeah, no, nothing. There's nothing that can... There's no space in that thing at all. When I put it on, I can actually taste my own genitals. It's disgusting. Aviation American Gin slogan, take one. Aviation American Gin. An illusory and fleeting sense of well-being. Aviation American Gin slogan, take two. Aviation American Gin. If you're drinking anything else, you're drinking bullshit. Aviation American Gin. It'll get you f***ed. Totally, 100%. I just fell in love with this blue shirt. No, no, seriously. It's made from 100% breathable cotton, and for the next two minutes, only $19.95. A few fan questions here that I got. First one comes from Brian Blenolds from Vancouver, British Columbia. Ooh, I love Latin America. That's amazing. Brian asks, Hugh, I heard that on X-Men Wolverine, you had specially designed lifts put in your shoes so you would appear taller than one of your co-stars. Is this true or just a silly fact? It's true. I did. Next question. Oh, that is surprisingly lovely. That's fudge. Okay, this is, I can't, it feels sticky and sad. This is my childhood. My childhood is in this, is in the fudge. So we talked to Mark Ruffalo recently, and he said that he's... I'm so sorry. I know, he's real hard work, that one. Yeah, I know, right? What a diva. Meanest guy in Hollywood. You know, wait a minute. You're making jokes about your baby daughter? Yeah. Who's six weeks old or something? Oh, she's fair game, Dave. I used to say to her, I would take a bullet for you. I would, I would, I could never love anything as much as I love you. I would say that to my wife. And then the second I looked in that baby's eyes, I knew in that exact moment that if we were ever under attack, I would use my wife as a human shield to protect that baby. And is she talking? Um, yeah, she's saying mama. She like, yeah. I'm telling you. You know what, though? You know what my wife doesn't realize, though? Is that she calls me mama, too. Seriously. That's very interesting. She, she, she, she calls me. I have to literally sit her down and tell her that penises don't work that way. Yeah, no, yeah, yeah. You're just like, you know, what do you want for dinner, sweet, sweet angel? And she's just like, I want Cheerios. You're so old, you make dust look like a baby. I'm trying to process that right now. Oh, okay. Wow. You smell so bad. I can hear it. But then Blake shows up uninvited, I might add. Oh my goodness. That is unbelievable. I thought she's just been pounding beer and it turns out that she's like, yeah, she's six months pregnant or something. And you mentioned that now you have three daughters. Congratulations. Thank you. How does that feel? How did that change the dynamic in the house? It felt like we added a whole new daughter. They're into the holidays. So are they excited? They're super, super excited. We'll be watching Frozen 2 another 619 times. I have seen Frozen with my daughters so, so many times. And people don't know, there's a lot of parents that know this, if you play Frozen backwards, it's actually a shot-for-shot remake of The Exorcist. Well, yeah, our pediatrician, when she met Inez, she said, oh, this one's shady. And like, even the other day when we were traveling back home, we were at the airport and out of our whole family, she's the only one that got the secondary security pat down. At two years old? At two years old. All right, so what is this shady two-year-old up to? But she just like, she just like takes it like a hardened felon. Like, she's just like... Search me. She's like turning around while like a thin fart escapes. You're just like... Are you competitive with your own children? Absolutely. Are you training them to be ultimate fighting machines? No, I don't need to be competitive because they own me. So I don't have any say over anything. Do you make games when parents can't really be bothered to play? My favorite game is Close Your F***ing Eyes for 12 Hours. Now, I have read you have two little girls at home. You don't want them to go into show business. No, no, mostly because I'm against child abuse. And then you had another one with Blake recently. How old is that child? That happened from sex. So, you've only had sex the twice? Just the two times, yeah. You pull some of these shenanigans online. When you get home, does she pull your side? And she's like, hey sweetie, that really wasn't that funny. Well, I actually, I've never met her. We actually only exist as a couple online. I'm actually married to a woman named Louise in Denmark. We have four kids and it's been amazing. You know, it was a toss-up for a minute there. Should I like quarantine with my publicly facing family or my secret family in Denmark? It was a real toss-up, you know. I miss Luna Lerked and Un very much so. My kids were with us and Blake and I got to show them around and really let them immerse themselves in that culture a little bit. We left them there. She's pretty good, you know. I mean, you know. That's a long flight. I carry a blow dart, so. And then I just inhale one for myself. Thank my wife, Blake, who is sitting right there. Who is everything to me. You are the best thing, the best thing that has ever happened to me. Second only to this star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Mommy unfollowed daddy on Instagram. My child would just fart and then walk away. Played Hannibal King. Waiting. National Lampoon's Van Wilder. Green Lantern. Sorry. You decided to play a song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What did you play when your wife was in labor? I jammed a little Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On. Yeah. How did that go? It was like, are you f****** kidding me right now? And then we had our children and that's when I realized that I love gin. How old were you when you started? I was 13 years old. Wow, so your whole life has been about bullshitting people. Yeah. Congratulations. Said the guy who starred in Goonies. You're so bad in Goonies that when you come on screen, people don't drink. They punch themselves in the dick for five straight minutes. That's you as a child? That is me as a little, I think I'm about three years old now. Three years old? Yeah. This is Ryan Reynolds, three. He's enjoying the water at Kids Community Center waiting pool. Ryan lives at 2382 Oliver Crest. It's amazing because the local newspaper was like, Okay, guys, we have a semi-nude, vulnerable three-year-old boy. The only thing that's going to make this better, let's let him know where he lives. Why get someone else to do my voice when you can have the genuine article? Or as they say in French, J'habit l'aise du flambant.