Celebrities Making Each Other Cry With Laughter NonsTop!

Surfing with my family and a big pretty big surf family so we um and then a show came and I ended up getting it and it changed everything. I was 19. And you were working so that but they had the ant oh my god that's him? Yeah dude. Don't don't don't don't. Don't what? Get some lotion out? To rub on the picture. Tom Hardy has played a fearless cage fighter, Batman's most dangerous villain, and even Venom. But nothing is more entertaining than watching him crack dad jokes with his own father. It's blue and not very heavy. Light blue. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. Why do birds fly south in the winter? It's too far to walk. That is good. That's good. That's good. Did you hear about the restaurant serving Christmas lunch on the moon? No. Great food, no atmosphere. Quentin Tarantino, hailed as one of the greatest filmmakers of our generation, could be praised for his creativity, dialogue, storytelling, and a million other things. But there's something else he's built a reputation for. I want to thank my co-stars uh Leo, Margot Robbie, Margot Robbie's feet, Margaret Qualley's feet, Dakota Fanning's feet. Seriously, Quentin has separated more women from their shoes than the TSA. Some topics are better left alone, but the moment Norm Macdonald stepped in front of a camera, no subject was ever safe. I don't know, people calling me, man, they're shocked. Who? Hey, you wouldn't believe it. Who got killed? The crocodile hunter. Please don't make me laugh at this. He was 44 years old. I'm like, that's a ripe old age for a crocodile. Ask almost any young guy about his biggest insecurity, and there's a good chance performance in the bedroom will come up. If that's you, this might be the excuse you've been waiting for. Before we get to the next clip, I'm curious to know, which part of the world are you watching from? Let me know in the comments. All right, let's get back to it. You know, so many women are like judging us on our first nuts. Yeah. Listen, back in the day, you had to come quick because a leopard might eat you. And when was the last time a directing category had five women and one man now? But I think we all agree it was never. A few moments later. Emmy goes to Philip Barantini. Most people associate The Office with Steve Carell, but Ricky Gervais did it first. He'll happily tell you the original is better, except for one small problem. Last one. Last question. British or American office? Well, I thought the British office was the best, but my accountant assures me that it's the answer. Listen, I want to say something. Yeah, we know you do. You always say that. We knew when we got here that you wanted to say something we're excited about. All right, man. Speaking of which, relationships, you were engaged. Yes. And you broke off that engagement recently. Is that true? Yeah, that's absolutely true. Opening up about a painful divorce on live television is already difficult enough. The last thing you want to do is give the audience a reason to think you were the problem. I have this mic on, so. Yeah, that's all right. Be a f****** gentleman and help me out with my questions. Marriage didn't work out? I can't believe your relationships don't work out. Jason Statham has inspired plenty of impressions over the years. Godfrey's, however, is on a completely different level. Do you do a Jason Statham? I do, man. Do you really? I go, yeah. I want Jason Statham to be, I want you to do a movie. Because I said, sometimes when I'm watching a Jason Statham movie, I can't hear his voice. It's so f****** low. And so I said, I think you should make a movie called The Librarian. And then Jason Statham comes up and goes, I told you guys to be quiet. And you're still f****** talking. Well, now let's see Adam Ray's attempt at a Statham impression. I get the gist. That's not true. I do do impressions. Here's Jason Statham finding out that he parked his car in a handicapped spot at a Target. And now the manager's coming out and told him he's got to move. Here's Jason responding to that. I can also do. Your serotonin must be so f******, like you're operating at such a crazy level, dude. You're interviewing the f****** president. Like you get to do s*** every day that is someone's life. If I get to do that once in my life, like that's my whole life. Yeah. You're living that every day. So it's like, the crash is, it's hard. Well, you too, man. I mean, at least you got to date a lot of beautiful women. I got stuck just interviewing the president of this Amish kid. I'd trade. I'd trade, dude. I'd trade. I'm not trading him. He's only 16. Conan and Bill Burr's friendship goes way back. And if there's one thing it's built on, it's roasting each other every chance they get. Because I am all over the map though. I get s*** like during, uh, I get s*** that I'm a Trumpster. I get s*** that I'm a socialist. I mean, it's literally all over the map. But you make both sides angry. I guess that's what I do. I never looked at it that way. Yeah. It's a beautiful thing. All right. No one's happy when you're talking. I think that's going to be my wife's new ringtone. That's going to be her new ringtone. You've stated that you believe there could be an infinite number of parallel universes. Does that mean that there is a universe out there where I am smarter than you? Yes. And also a universe where you're funny. Ben Affleck's friendships are solid, but his romantic history is a bit more complicated. Ricky Gervais took one look at that and immediately found the punchline. Our next presenter is the star of the hilarious comedy The Martian. He's also the only person who Ben Affleck hasn't been unfaithful to. Please welcome Matt Damon. Thank you. I had to Google the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I didn't know what it was. I hadn't even heard of it. The only reason that you're saying that is because you know I slept with your mother. We're very working, working class. One thing rich kids love doing when they grow up is pretending they came from nothing. It's always amusing when someone's there to call them out. We're very working, working class. Be honest. I am being honest. What car did your dad drive you to school in? So my dad did... No, one answer. My dad... What car was it? All right, it's not a simple answer because... What car did you get your dad to drive you to school in? It depends. No, no, no, no, no. Okay, in the 80s my dad had a Rolls Royce. Dude, you look like a dude that eats burgers and just carries around a shotgun. When you grow up with very little and eventually make it big, people start expecting things from you. Chris Tucker knows exactly what that feels like. What is your family's reaction to your success? Oh, they all quit their jobs when they found out I was making $20 million a year. They said, we rich, we rich. I was like, I'm rich, I'm rich. You get your jobs back before it's too late. Do you have live, laugh, love cursive in your apartment? Nah, man, my apartment's black as s***. Just so if my family comes, I'm like, nah, she's a good one. What do you have in your apartment that makes it black as s***? I can't think of the name of it. Other people's stuff? How many acting credits does Kevin have on his IMDb? You don't know that. Yeah, I do. What's the answer? You don't think I have the answer? Yeah, give me a gun. No, because Kevin's hair color will change everything. It'll be grayer than a motherf***er in a minute. You spray that s***. Oh my God, you know the mess you'll make right now? Did you see how scared he got? Mark, Mark sprays his abs on. There it is. Fashion and comfort don't always go hand in hand, and Ryan learned that lesson the hard way. I have to admit something. Oh, uh, yeah, okay. I didn't try this suit on before I came out. And I realized that it's, it's so tight. It's wildly inappropriate. I feel like I'm going steady with these pants. Every zoo visit for most people is a casual afternoon. For Shaq, it's an identity crisis for certain animals. Every zoo that I went to in the world, all the gorillas look at me and they go crazy. You can laugh, it's okay. Are you serious? Yeah, so don't move. They all come to the glass and they all do this. Every zoo in the world. Being an actor has its advantages, and Hank Azaria discovered that a good Stallone impression works better than his own voice in certain situations. See, when I got to LA, uh, when I was in my early 20s, I would call, I couldn't get a table in a restaurant or clubs, and I would call as celebrities and get a table. I would really do that, yeah. Like who would you call that? I would call a Stallone, mostly. And I really did do this. So you'd call like the Ivy or something, what would you say? Yeah, I'd say, how you doing? This is Sly, I want to come down tonight. You know, we have a few people, you know, nothing special. And, uh, but you know, maybe they're late, so my buddy Hank Azaria will be coming. If he comes, just let him sit down first, you know. And I'm happy to be here with people that I recognize, even if I don't know them. I recognize them. This lady, this is your fiance. Yeah. She's very lovely. Thank you very much. Wesley's all about you, though. Don't be checking my s*** out on the side. While he got the award and everybody's standing up, going to try to rap. Hey man, so who's this with you, Ed? We've all dealt with annoying neighbors at some point, but Chris's story proves some situations are way worse than others. Stumped, man. New place, man. Hate my neighbors, man. I got neighbors that borrow s*** all the time. You ever had a neighbor that borrowed your s***? And keep it so long, you have to borrow it back. Actors chase iconic lines their whole careers. Matthew stumbled into his on the first day, and the rest is history. I've been listening to this live, more live Doors album, and there's this, in between two of the songs, Morrison goes, all right, all right, all right, all right. So right before about to go, I'm like, what is Wooderson, what is Wooderson about? What's he about? And I go, man, he's about four things. His car. He's about getting high. He's about rock and roll. And picking up chicks. And I go, I'm in my car. I'm high as a kite. I'm listening to rock and roll. Action. And there's the chick. All right, all right, all right. That's a move we got it for. Some questions don't deserve a real answer, and Harrison made that very clear in this interview. I got to ask you, given that this, of course, is, you know, the antagonist here is king of the serpent society. Who deals better with snakes? Indy or Thaddeus Ross? You know, I've always treated these questions with the utmost respect. And somehow, at the same time, complete disdain. I will not answer that stupid question. But thank you. I mean, I'm delighted to have the opportunity. Snoop walked over to my daughter's boyfriend and just said, hey, what's up? What's up, cuz? Hey, look here, you know, we her uncles. You know what I'm saying? So act accordingly, homie. No. Chris might have played a cop in Rush Hour, but his opinion of them in real life? You're about to find out. I think cops are childish. Oh, you do? Because they're childish. Hiding in the woods, waiting for somebody to speed. That's childish. They ask stupid questions when they pull you over. Because I was driving one time. The cop said, do you see me back there? Why you start speeding up? I said, because you was catching up. Why you ain't got your seatbelt on? Because I want to. You think I ain't got it on? I forgot it. If you care about me, don't give me a ticket. Let me go. Just tell me to put it on. They don't care about you. Like they love you. Put it on because we want you to be safe. So you can go to court. Yeah, I'm going to **** myself because of this ticket because I can't pay it. Let's work this out. Mark wakes up earlier than your alarm even considers going off. And listening to people react to his schedule is genuinely hilarious. What can you tell us about the man behind the scenes peek at this gentleman? I think Mark Wahlberg is the perfect human being. He gets up at 2.30 in the morning. He works out. At 2.30 in the morning? 2.30. Does a workout. Goes through any sort of scripts he has to work on. He rides around his neighborhood. He saves cats out of trees. He does more before 7 a.m. than most people do in a lifetime. I wake up at 8 a.m. Have a nice bowel movement. Go right back to bed. That's the way it's done. Hey, I do that too, but I don't get out of bed. Hollywood's full of celebrity friendships. But Ryan and Russell Crowe's dynamic? That's the bromance nobody saw coming. We're here to present the award for best adapted screenplay. And not to get too technical, but that's the screenplay that was the best at adapting to whatever harsh conditions and obstacles were thrown in its way. No, it's a screenplay adapted from another source. Agree to disagree, okay? What's that? Agree that you're wrong. Look, let's not fight. I mean, my God, we have two Academy Awards between us. This is beneath us. Did you win an Oscar? Well, not when you put it like that, but you have two Academy Awards. So technically there's two between us, okay? Can we just... I have one. No, you have two. No, I have one. Well, agree to disagree, okay? Can we go on? And give out this award so that more people can have Oscars like we do? But that's not the first time they've butted heads. They may be the nice guys on screen, but the dynamic was something else entirely off screen. Let's get on with what we're here to do. And, uh... Hey, Russ. Hey. What's going on? I'm, uh, the Actor Awards, the Australian Academy of Cinema and Television Arts. Hey, you won? Congratulations. No, no, I'm... Oh, you lost? You were robbed. No, no, I'm actually... You're right, you're right. You just, you win just by being nominated. You'll get them next time. I'm presenting. Oh. Yeah, presenting. Well, that's gracious of you. Yeah. Cool. Ladies and gentlemen, you might not recognize him with his clothes on, Ryan Gosling. G'day, folks. How you going? It's okay. I'm an honorary Australian. Really? How's that? I lived in New Zealand for like two years, so... I'm sweet as, bro. They say if you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail. Matthew found out exactly what that means. So I said, I'm not going to read this script, Scorpion Spring. I'm not even going to read the scene. Cut to, I'm on the set of Scorpion Spring. I'm about to shoot that scene. I grab the sides. I'm on my mark. We're about to say action. I have a peek. One page. Two pages. Three page. Four page. Monologue. My guy. In Spanish. And I remember saying to no one in particular, can I get 12 minutes? Thinking that 12 minutes was not long enough to be an inconvenience to the crew, but maybe long enough to go learn a four-page monologue in Spanish. Because, hey, I took a semester of Spanish in the 11th grade, but it was not long enough to learn four pages in Spanish. And I went back and did the scene. I've never watched it. I'm too embarrassed to. But I learned that day, you've got to prepare to have your freedom. We all know Stevie Wonder can't see, but when you're someone like Shaq, some things are just too big to miss. Tell you a Stevie Wonder story, but you're not going to believe me. Come on, man. No, I wouldn't. I know. I know the story. He's got to tell it. I wouldn't believe it. He's got to tell it, Ernie. He's got, I know the story. He's told me he's got to tell a story. All right, go for it. He's got to tell a story. It's a true story. So. According to Shaq. We live in a building on Wilshire. So you park your car and the valet's down there. So I'm already in the building. I'm coming through the lobby. Door opens. It's Stevie Wonder. He comes in. Says, what's up, Shaq? Presses the button. Oh, it's a true story. Presses the button. Gets up on the floor, by himself, goes to his room. I went and called every person I knew in Trottington. They believed me. He got on the elevator. He said, what's up, Shaq? How you doing, big dog? Yes, he did. Yep, Wilshire Boulevard. Most celebrities do a surface level Stallone impression, but Aries Spears? You'll never watch Rocky the same way again. And I'm a huge Sly fan. I love them Rocky movies. I'm going to come out with Rocky 48. I'll be right there. My favorite Rocky movie was Rocky 3 when his trainer died. Not because his trainer died. Just hearing Stallone cry for the first time was magical. Stallone starts crying. Mick! You can't do it, Mick! What are you talking about? And when I first got in the ring, I didn't care what happened to me. I didn't care. Now that it's you, it's the kid, I'm going to lose what I got. Bang. There are only so many activities we enjoy doing naked. And this next one is unconventional, to say the least. Yeah, I was at home. Yeah. Doing what? Austin, Texas. I was playing a little music and banging on some bongos. What time of day was it? 2.37 in the a.m. and so said the report. So the police come, they knock on the door, you let them in, what happened? Well, no, they didn't really knock. They came on in, and I, yeah, and I looked up and saw two, you know, that familiar figure, and it's blue, and you go, oh, that's a cop. Oh, I'm gonna turn this down. Yeah. Turned around and said, what the hell are you doing in here? And before I knew it, I was kind of cuffed and put against a wall. And you were naked? Is that also part of the deal? I was buck naked, yeah. Yeah, wow. Harrison Ford and Ryan Gosling are titans in Hollywood, but Ford made sure Gosling knew who the OG star really is. And to me, you know, do you realize you're working with, do you realize, you don't seem, it doesn't seem to be landing in the way it should. Yeah, you're not, I put it slightly different. I would say to him every day, do you know who I used to be? The original play, Han Solo, Indiana Jones, I mean, the list just goes on. Some celebrities play it cool in interviews. Mark just does whatever he wants, and somehow it works every single time. So, Mark, you have some interesting flirting tricks in this movie, the winking thing. Yes. Did you bring back, like, did you bring back? He's winking at you now. I'm not even looking at him. It's like he's not here, but I can tell. Which eye works better? Let's just check it out. The left one. Yeah, I can tell which one you're looking at. You're looking at the far, that's right, the left. Now I got this one. Those pants really bring the blue out in your eyes, by the way. Thank you, thank you. Oh, she just winked. Ah, man, I'm done. Oh, oh, oh. Oh, my favorite interview of the day. Hello, Emily. Wow, bit of a frosty hello, didn't it? Not at all, no. I'm just happy that we can finally put this Barbenheimer rivalry behind us. That's right. Just leaving all that fodder in the dust, guys, right? And the way this award season's turned out, wasn't that much of a rivalry, so. But you know, I think I kind of figured out why they call it Barbenheimer and they didn't call it Oppenbarbie. Why? Well, I think you guys are at the tail end of that because you were riding Barbie's coattails all summer. Ryan's charisma works across the board. The bromances get all the attention, but his friendships with women are just as magnetic. Spicy Margs? Yes, no. Yes, love them. And maybe we could go get a drink, have a spicy margarita. Yeah, exactly. It became like the slogan of the movie. And then the way you then said spicy margarita. Oh, because you gave it a little. Spicy margarita. You know you did. You know you gave it a little spice. You know you put a little salt on that rim. No, I hate the word rim. I don't like it either. I don't like that. As soon as I said it, I was like, I don't like that. I don't like that you said that, Ryan. You've spent a lot of time together. Who's got it? Who's got that X factor? You know it's Emily. Between us? Yeah. Who's more charismatic? No, come on. All the knees go weak when you walk in the room. Come on, come on. We know it. See, it's because she says things like that. All the flutter. That just makes her that much more charismatic that she's so complimentary. She's got that game. I could do with never hearing you say that phrase again. Me too. I've never said that ever. I was kind of like, is that a, is that a no? That's not how you put it. Everybody deserves a shot at romance. Even Shaq. But him on a dating app? Seems like nobody's accepting that reality. Are you dating? Are you on Tinder or anything like that? I heard you were on Tinder at one point. I signed up for Tinder. You did? Put in my name. And I tried to make a person meet me and they didn't believe it was me. Nobody believed it was you? Nobody believed it was me. I was like, it's me, it's Shaq. Shaq would never be on this. So I had to hit delete. I had to delete my account. She was hot too. I was like, I'm five minutes, just please just meet me at Starbucks. No.