My Husband Got Fired for Threatening His Boss

Zander shops all the top term insurance companies to save you money get started at zander.com i've been stuck in kind of like a situation where I really i'm newly married and um, I don't believe in dates and I really love what you guys Preach i'm trying to get my husband on board. He has when we got married. He has like over 35 40k in date and that's okay. So I was trying to encourage him to Get out of date Use my salary to Use my salary to pay his date, but he currently lost his job in last year And he has no motivation in trying to find a new job So i'm always trying to like my money. All I do is just pay bills mortgage and by the time i'm done paying There is nothing left. So it just feels like i'm never getting ahead Wow So sorry, mary. I mean I can think of one way to stay motivated maybe providing for your new wife Is that not on his radar? providing for his new wife you You said you just got married to this guy. He doesn't have a job You're struggling to pay bills and you say he has no motivation to work Yeah, he lost his job. So his excuse is like, oh, I can't did he get fired. What happened? Is he is he in a depressive state because of this? Yeah, he got fired and he's he's kind of like really much he's kind of really confident that i'll get a new job and he'll only apply like one job in a month and it's been six months now and Really like no motivation at all if he gets out of his 401k to pay some of the bills like To pay some of his date. He took a withdrawal from his 401k To pay bills and cover his debt payments Yes, because my salary can't pay all his date Oh my goodness, you can only cover my salary can only cover mortgage and the house bills not his date well The challenge is is there's there's really no answer. We can't give you a step one step two step three on this. I really can't Um, this has to be a very very serious um Marriage conversation have you confronted him about this to say? Hey, I I don't think this is sustainable We can't keep doing this. My my salary is not enough to take care of all of this. We're falling behind I feel like you're not Applying for enough jobs. What's his response? I haven't his family has encouraged him to like to even just take any stupid job like to just pay bills But his pride will not let him to take anything. He was just like until I get something that is comfortable for me Yeah, but okay. Okay. I appreciate that Uh, and you've identified that it is pride I assume that he's calling it pride as well No, he doesn't. No way like he he still does he still thinks he's always I don't know Have you shared how uncomfortable and how afraid you are? Yeah, and he sees me cry when it comes to bills when it comes to what does he do? I'm, sorry. What does he do when he sees you cry? He just says i'm sorry. I'm sorry and that's it There are basics every family needs food shelter transportation And term life insurance term life is simple If you pass away, it pays money to your family so they can keep paying the bills protecting the people You love is part of winning with money and when you're ready to do that go with who I trust zander insurance zander shops top companies to find the right coverage at the best price and they've earned my Recommendation for nearly 30 years go to zander.com today. I'm sorry and that's it well, yikes, you know again, I I I There's nothing that we can say here. I mean, this is a you have to tell him that you if you can't help us Then is there an us? You know, I mean, it's that serious. This this guy is just kind of waving Uh and every day kind of going well I'll just do this and hope it works out and there's just no urgency and it puts you in a very tough position And um, I know I don't have some magical answer george. I don't know what your thoughts are here This is very very frustrating. Yeah I do think you need to make it more clear how serious this is and it sounds like he's Disassociating is what we call it when he's just gone Well, i'm just gonna sort of numb out because I don't have the willpower to do anything about it Is that what's happening here because you got married to this guy because you wanted the companionship because life is better Doing it with someone else, right? Yeah, I even I see I see some jobs and send him send them his way like everybody's trying to give him leads about jobs But it's just the motivation for him. What was he doing for work? And what was he making? He was making 130. He was an engineer engineer making 130 and he's been applying for engineering jobs or he applied for one He's applied for engineering jobs and why did he get fired? They said he threatened his boss He threatened his boss Okay, so how long you been married to this guy two years Yeah, I mean, I think you have to get his attention and go we we got to talk about our marriage I've already brought up all the money stuff to you and you're not doing anything about it And you're not in a good place. You were in a bad place. You're in a bad place if you threaten your boss Can we agree you're in a bad place? Yeah, okay. He doesn't believe he still doesn't agree that He thinks he was unfair that he was let go Well, there's a lack of ownership all over the place with this guy. Is that the case throughout your marriage? Yeah, it's never his fault. It's always someone else's fault. You got to take care of you right now I I think I think this is a legit conversation about separation to get his to get his attention But at this point if he's willing to go to marriage counseling You're gonna have to figure out how to afford that because you guys are broke Uh, but I would give it I would give that a try and get a therapist in the room with you, too You gotta try that but I I wouldn't keep letting this guy just put all the pressure on you and show no desire at all to help out Uh, so, you know at this point, how can you make more money? and uh You be in control of the finances so this guy can't wreck you anymore. Yeah, I wouldn't be concerned about his debt right now It's about covering the four walls and protecting yourself. So the first thing you cover is going to be your mortgage You guys own a home or you rent? Yeah We own a home. Okay, so we're going to cover the mortgage. We're going to put food on the table We're going to keep the utilities on cover all of those bills and cover your transportation needs Outside of that if you can't pay for it, you can't pay for it If you can't make the minimum debt payment, so be it I'd rather have the credit card companies mad than your house being taken away from you Okay, so you come first Don't cover his bills. We're not covering anything for his lifestyle In fact, you may want if this isn't going well and counseling is not an option for him You may want to create your own separate account so that he doesn't start to drain it in his depressive state We've never joined accounts Okay, so it's separate your money goes to your account and you're paying all the bills from that one account Yeah, do you have a full picture of his finances? Do you actually know how much debt he has? It's around uh 45k and what kind of debt is that mortgage? Um school loans, he has a personal loan and his car And none of that is in your name None of it. None of it is in my name, right? Well, there's the good news So that's the best news of this entire call Is that he can't drag you down Um, you can take care of the mortgage. I think you need to be thinking about how do I make more income? How do I create you know? uh an emergency fund Uh, how do I create more margin? Uh so that his destructive behavior and what he's doing by the way is destructive He's not doing much but it's destructive And so you got to take care of yourself right now and we're hoping We're hoping we can get you guys in some therapy and that you guys figure this thing out But you got to protect yourself right now, unfortunately We're so very sorry to hear that you're going through this Xander is the best place to find term life insurance to protect your family visit xander.com for quotes today