Top 10 CROWDWORK of 2025 _ Will Burkart Stand Up

What's your name, sir? Ryan. Are you working during the week? No, I'm not. Are you a teacher? I'm not. You're not? Silly me. What kind of job do you have? I'm a hockey player. Who do you play hockey for? Is this like a... how high are we? Are we... Very high. I'm not going to drop the puck. Like, calm the f*** down. I'm honored that you're here, bro. That's... I just got nervous all of a sudden. I don't know why. I'm just... I'm in. Dude, you're really slow playing it. Like, how's work? It's alright. It's a little chilly when I get to work, but... Do you get recognized a lot? Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes when people with a microphone call you out in front of... How are your... Do you got all your teeth? Oh, ----, bro. He just took out a... How's the front? The front one still intact? Or just... You keep popping them out. Do you have an accent? Where are you from? Australia. Australia? Alright. Do you live here? Yeah, I've been here for like eight years now. Wow, and you still talk like that. Why did you move to Canada? Rachel. Rachel! You're not from Australia? No. Where are you from? Wait. You sound like you're from Australia. She said, no. How did you meet him? We both studied in China. And then you went back to Canada. No. I went to Australia. Oh. And he went to Germany. He went to Germany? Does it draw a map? Like, what the f*** are we talking about here? How come you went to Germany? What's there? Airbus. A-bus. Airbus. I've never had an entire crowd translate something. That was hilarious. Airbus. Thank you, crowd. What's funny is I still don't know what we're talking about right now. Like, I got the word, but there's still nothing else. Oh, Airbus. Yeah. What does that mean? Wait, are you guys dating or just friends? Just friends. Do you like guys too? I mean, I like him. I don't know. Yeah. Well, me too. I like him, but not like you guys. How did you guys become friends? He's actually on a kickball team with me. That's the cutest s*** I've ever heard. Are you 14? It is. It's actually an LGBTQ team, so I was confused. Yeah, now we're all confused now about Carlos. Because Carlos is really like, no dudes for me. Only chicks. And he's like, gay kickball? F***, sign me up. How can we join that one? Gay guys are a lot friendlier than straight people. Dude, that's a great answer. That's a great answer. Is he the only straight guy? Yes. Wait, Carlos, you know how this looks, right? Dude, you're the most comfortable man with this s***uality I've ever met, dude. I was like, this dude is like... Carlos, are you single? No. Oh, you have a girlfriend? Does she know about the kickball team? She comes to the games, really? Because I know she's looking around like, Carlos is up to some s***. Are you single right now or do you have a man? I made a dating bingo card. 2025 dating bingo. Get ghosted. I got ghosted. Go to a sporting event. What are you, AI? This is so funny. One ticket for the sporting event, please. Ah, yes, I did get ghosted yesterday by a human man. In the middle it just says, get a boyfriend. Date lasts less than 30 minutes. Yeah, that happened. His name was Gal. Gal? Hey, red flag. I'm 5'1". He was 6'7". That feels unsafe. Yeah. Two tickets for the sporting event, please. No, he was 6'7". He didn't put his height on Tinder. Oh, he didn't put his height on Tinder. So you showed up and you're like, oh my God. So that date lasted less than 30 minutes. It lasted 16. 16 minutes? What if Gal was in the back? Hello, Julia. I'm back for date number two. Guys, girls, being bi is like, what a life that must be. You just walk in a room, I'm f***ing everybody. How did you guys meet each other? Choir. Choir? It's a gay men's choir. Like singing choir? Yeah. Like, I'm gay. Gay men's choir. Where do you guys meet at? The church. That seems counterintuitive. What's been the best part of retirement? Spending time with my wife. Oh, that's a good answer, man. That's a good answer. What is this, family feud? What about you? Any Mike activities? You've been cleaning the garage for a week. No ----, okay. And that is the most Mike answer I've ever heard. Any advice for me, like, pre-retired life? Marry a woman that'll support you, and when you're ready, you grease. Wait, ready for what, though, specifically? If at all, just go. If you need to just run away? Yeah. What's in the garage, Mike? That's my question. If I need to run away, just... Make sure she can't run faster than you. I feel like you thought the question was, if there was a zombie apocalypse, what would you do? What's your type? Just that guy. Oh, ----. Boy, you didn't skip a beat. Wait, did you just meet these guys tonight, or do you know them? Oh, no, I don't know him. You don't know him? Dude, that's f***ing awesome. He didn't even say, um, he just went, that guy. What's your name, man? Nick. Hey, Nick. Are you straight? I am, yeah. Damn. It doesn't matter to him. He'll still come. I mean, that's pretty flattering. You're single right now? Married. Married? With a lady? Yeah. Nice. Where's she at? She's a nurse. Just got off work. Hey, bro, let her know next time pull up, because Jalen's coming for you. You look like you just came from work. Did you just come from work? I'm retired. You're retired? Why do you still dress like that? How long have you been retired for? Six months. Oh, it's new. Oh, so you're still wearing it. That makes sense. You're like, I don't know how to not wear this. I'm just going one button at a time. What's been your favorite part of retirement? Not getting up for a 6am call. What time are you getting up now? This morning? 5. 5? Hey, man. You are so bad at being retired so far. What time do you have to wake up in the morning? 4. 4? Are you like a general in the military? That's when you, like, in the middle of the night. That's the middle of the night. What time do you have to wake up? 5.30. Oh, you get to sleep in. Nice. You wake up at 4.15 the latest. Oh, what a luxury. What do you have to wake up at 4am for? I start at 6. What do you do at 6am? What job? Logistics. Logistics? You gotta logisticize at 6am? It's 7.50, bro. You must be exhausted right now. What time do you have to wake up in the morning? Whatever it is. Why? How come you have so much freedom? What's up? Do you not work? I work in advertising. What type of advertising? The TV and the gas pump. How did you find yourself into that specific niche? Like, were you pumping gas one day and you're like, man, I'm so bored for this 18 seconds. I just really wish I could fill a weather report right now. How much are Celsiuses at the gas station? Who were you married to? He didn't want to come. Why didn't he want to come? He didn't like you. He didn't like me? No. Hey, man, lie. Any other reason would have been great. Do you like me? I'm here. You're here. Still doesn't answer the question. I have a reason, too. It's like an hour drive to get here. It's an hour drive. Okay. Hey, man, start with that. And that's fine. Comedy is subjective. It's all good. It's art. You know I'm an artist. What's his name? Colin. Did he give you a reason? Just what you said. It's subjective. Oh, it's just getting more hurtful. I didn't want it to... I didn't want him to say that. What's he doing tonight? Probably asleep. Of course he is. Lazy piece of ----. Because it's good. Because this is a sold out show. And I needed someone to bring me down. Like I was flying too high, you know? I needed Colin. You're solo, man? What's his name? Daniel. Took you a second. Are you sure this is a real person? His name is also Daniel. Your name is also Daniel? You're Daniel and you're dating someone named Daniel. Is this like a fetish thing? What's your favorite thing about Daniel? About me? About... That's a good question. Not about you. This is the problem, by the way. This is the problem. Which Daniel? What's your favorite thing about boyfriend Daniel? Just one thing that you like about him. He's nice. Okay. This really seems like he doesn't exist. It's a funny lie. Because it's like he's not good at lying. Because it's like, what's your name? Daniel. What's his name? Uh, Daniel. Damn it. I said my name. I should have said a different name. Honestly, my name too. I should have picked literally any other name. Which was better.