My Dad Should Be In Jail 😳_ Trey Kennedy

Most notably, I've become a father since the last time I saw y'all. You don't have to cheer that much. It sucks. It sucks. No, I just underestimated it, right? Like how hard it is. I thought I had problems before I was a parent. These weren't problems. These weren't... Like I remember when our son was just a few weeks old, my wife and I were finally getting out of the house to see some friends who don't have kids. And I couldn't wait to see somebody else and to share with them the horrors we had survived. And these friends, they had the audacity to complain to me, right? Yeah. And people without kids complaining to parents is, it's kind of like walking in on your buddy who just got paralyzed and being like, my dogs are barking. It's like, maybe we have different problems now. Maybe. And that's what it is. It's different problems. You know, they went on and on like, Trey, Trey, if you could keep us in your thoughts and prayers, it's been a long week. It's been a long week. We got rear-ended at a red light and it's been an ordeal with the insurance company. I've been on phone with the insurance agent four different times today. It's like, I've been shat on four times today. That doesn't sound bad at all. Oh, you had to talk to your insurance agent a few times. I've only talked to my wife and her mom for a month. I would love to chat with Jake from State Farm a few times. Do you loop me in on the fifth call? These are problems. Oh, you got rear-ended at a red light. You get to drive around. I'd be so lucky if I got rear-ended, I would go shake the man's hand. Thank you, sir. Thanks. You just delayed me going home an hour. Thank you. I'll pay for all the damages. If you'll get a beer with me or something, please. Now your pre-baby problems are my post-baby privileges. Grow up. I underestimated how hard it is. I also underestimated how amazing it is, right? I mean, I can't even, yeah, absolutely. I can't even describe the love for my child. I underestimated what it did to my marriage, my wife, Katie. I mean, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I got to witness her become a mom, be a mom, and I never realized I could love her more than I already did. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Seriously. I also never realized we can now scream at each other at 4 a.m. We'd never done it at that time. No, I thought we had some bad marital moments. You throw a kid in the mix, whole nother ballgame, you know? Middle of the night, you're just sleepwalking in to feed a baby again. I'm trying to put a bottle in a baby's mouth. I'm hallucinating. I'm seeing three of them. She's over there hooked up to a breast pump, whatever medieval mechanism that thing is. Does that hurt? My wife, I remember our wedding day. She floated down the aisle, angel among us, most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Fast forward. She hasn't showered in days. They can get that long? Y'all, I thought we had some bad moments, but you don't know it until she looks over at you in that state. Do you even like to be around me anymore? Can we wait till sunrise at least? Can we wait? It's a whole nother life right there, people. And that's where I'm at in life. That's where everyone I know is at in life. All my friends are doing the same thing, getting pregnant, being parents. My own sister, she's the one who made our parents grandparents for the first time. Very exciting times. Not surprising. A lot of times, right? They've been married for years, bought a house. You see this coming, but that doesn't stop us, specifically us white people from every big life event has to be a get together. It's got to be a thing, right? My sister, she couldn't just simply notify us she was pregnant, right? She was like, why don't you guys come over this Saturday at 9am? Right? She's got the hidden cameras, every corner. And you know, I show up, I'm a good sport, but I know what's coming. I'm excited. I'm not surprised. No, my mother, my mother, you would have thought this idea never crossed her mind her whole life. She hands her a shirt that says best glam all ever. And she's like, oh my gosh, are you serious? Are you kidding? I was like, mom, she usually pounds the wine. She's been drinking LaCroix for six weeks. She usually Uber's to family night. You didn't, you're shocked by this. Everything's a big deal, right? We're pregnant. What's next? The gender got to find out the gender. You got to do a thing. My sister, she came to me. She's like, Trey, don't kill me. I want to do a little gender reveal, something simple, nothing that like birds down the West coast. And she was like, Trey is my, my one and only sibling, my big brother. I want you to do the honor. I'm going to have the doctor call you at the results. And then you tell the bakery what color I seem to put inside the cake. Yeah. And Utah, I thought about ruining it. I thought about it. You know, I asked, I was like, I'll pay double for yellow. I'll pay double. What does that mean? Oh, you're having to tell a tubby. I don't know. No, I do my job. Right. She's there with her husband. They cut the cake revealing pink icing, meaning it's a baby girl. Everyone's excited. And then the first thing out of my sister's mouth, I mean, instantaneously, she wants to know sometimes ladies, you give us too much credit. You do. She was like, Trey, how hard was it to keep the secret? How hard was it? He was the only one who knew in the whole planet. How hard was it not to tell everyone the gender of my child? I was like, not hard at all. You cutting the cake reminded me what it was. So I didn't even, no one was more surprised than me. Y'all do that. You give us too much credit on weird things. Like, I don't know what my sister was picturing. She's known me her whole life. What I'm just hanging out with my boys, like watching the games. They're all like, hold on Trey, pause the game, pause it. We're not watching the second half until you fess up about the gender of your sister's unborn child. It's like, you know, I wish I could Connor, I wish, but I locked the key, threw it away. That's not what happened. Half of my friends, if I told them my sister's pregnant, they'd be like, what sister? I was like, you've met her, dude, several times. Everything's a big deal. We're pregnant. Your gender, what's next? The name of the kid. Even that's gotta be a thing. It's gotta be unique, very special, one of a kind. The reason he's behind them make me laugh. Like I grew up at a time where you name a kid a name, it's just, you know, this is Billy. They're like, why'd you name him Billy? I'm like, what else do we call him?