"I've Kind Of Hidden Our Financial Problems From My Husband"

[Music] brought to you by the Every Dollar app start budgeting for free today i'm 63 my husband is 60 we've been married 36 years and most of our marriage has been full of debt um right now we have about $44,000 in credit card debt uh we have an $800 truck truck payment 200,000 between the two of us in student loans and I just feel we have no retirement whatsoever um accept our home you know and and so um help help me with how you have 200,000 in student loans at 64 years old oh we're late bloomers yeah well who's the doctor i know my husband felt the need to go and get two master's degrees he's a teacher and I'm a teacher um and so we we got a late start probably in our mid50s and I taught you know I'm teaching wonderful so one of them was not in math no I know no wow so what are your incomes between the two of you with these degrees and these careers so between the both of us I added it up take-home only is $5,635 a month okay wait a minute you make 60,000 you make $30,000 a piece and he has two master's degrees well yes in teaching it helped him make more money but our our debt just seems to No no no no no wait a minute you don't make anything teachers that have two master's degrees should each be making 60 what in the What are you doing are y'all working in a preschool hey George here in the control booth and I bet you're wondering what they're gonna say next get out of debt sell the horse yada yada yada the advice may be predictable but the internet is anything but you see your personal info is out there up for grabs by shady companies ready to add more scam and spam to your life and that's why I use Delete Me delete Me will scrub your data from all of these sites so that you can focus on the Ramsay show instead of who's buying and selling your info and Ramsay fans get 20% off at joineddeeme.com/ramsey or by using the link in the description below so go take control of your privacy as soon as this call is over are y'all working in a preschool no he's teaching high school and I'm teaching middle school so that was your take-home what's come What is it before that are you taking a bunch out of your check oh um well for the credit card debt um not I don't even know how much it's taking out of that it's doing it automatically oh you're paying the truck payment and the credit card debt and you're putting money in retirement and you got all this other and you're getting a tax refund too probably right okay so you might be making 120 so what do you owe on the truck oh goodness um about 34,000 which is about what it's worth oh yeah sell that today sell it that's the problem i don't think my husband's willing to sell it then I don't think I can help you does he know that you have Does he Does he feel that you guys have a a financial problem i've I've kind of hidden it from him so that's my fault um that's my fault so if you if you told him today hey we have 44,000 in credit card debt and 200,000 in student loans that would be a light bulb moment for him he He doesn't know that it would and if I may let He picked up the truck he drives it he didn't think that Santa Claus brought it and he picked up the two master's degrees he didn't think Santa Claus brought those very true okay he may not know the exact numbers but he knows he's he he has made a mess and he knows it and I feel like I've allowed him to because when his dad died he gave him $100,000 but listen you're both you're both complicit because you're married right you're both in on this it's just the level whatever the level of denial is or the level of you know what I'm saying so you're both in on it you know we can go back and forth on who who did what and who knows what but you're both in on it so I and both of you are required to fix it yes and if he does not want to buckle down and clean up the mess that by and large he is responsible for it was his choice to buy a truck it was his choice to go to school and get degrees that have not monetized these were his choices and so now at 60 years old he gets to be a man mhm and and own his choices and go I my family is in jeopardy i've got to sell my truck mhm your family is in jeopardy he has to sell his truck by the way this is not an option this is why he won't sell his truck because when his father died he he inherited a cabin in Colorado uh that's free and clear it's worth about $500,000 and so he doesn't want to sell the cabin because it's emotional you know his dad memory is tied to it what's that got to do with the truck yeah that you're right you're right i mean you linked it i'm I'm asking that as a real question is there a link or Oh he feels that once we sell the cabin someday um that he'll be able to pay the truck off and Okay you get a choice you got a choice friday one of them goes up for sale you decide okay it sounded like the cabin had way more sentimental value it when I look at this I go "Okay the truck you're not even upside down you get rid of that today do you have any money saved anywhere liquid we have we have $30,000 in our checking account but I don't I don't want to pay anything off with that because that's my security nest over the summer when he doesn't get paid okay oh you're But you guys make enough throughout the year yeah work in the summer when you don't get paid where it goes work in the summer when you don't get paid that's what other teachers do two homeworks first homework is you got to have a budget if you don't know where your money when you said that I said okay they don't have a budget there's no plan for the money so you're downloading every dollar tonight second homework is when you go to open up every dollar tonight because you've already downloaded it you sit with your husband and say we have a crisis and I don't know if you know it but here's what it is and you start laying out those numbers and say I have a solution and and you you you've got to open up the lines of communication tonight there's a couple of things we can do we can either sell your truck and buckle down and get on beans and rice and both take extra jobs or we can talk about selling the cabin now we cannot stay on the trajectory making the stupid butt decisions we've been making for the last decade and have anything but alpo for retirement you've got to say this out loud yeah you do okay and I'm I'm scared for you honey i want you to I want you to go win but but I'm scared for you because every time we bring up something there's a reason to not do it you've got about five things you've been doing wrong you got to reverse all of those in dramatic fashion and then slam on the accelerator in the other direction okay number one you're not disclosing and working together on every detail of your budget and your future you're treating him like he's a little boy and his feelings are hurt when his daddy died and so he can't make a grown man decision sorry you get to be a man when you're 60 no way around it you got to deal with it okay number one number So you got to be on the budget you got to be on the same page number two you guys are going to have to chop something with a freaking machete because you have a mess because you've been spending money like you're in Congress around there and you've got to stop it you've got to chop some stuff and this car is one of them but the car really points to the cabin if I woke up in your shoes and I was him and I had to come Jesus meeting and I decided I was gonna be a grown man i the decision I made to go get two master's degrees that I couldn't afford to do was the day I made the decision to sell the daddy's cabin you didn't mean to sue it but that's the day that's exactly what happened you lost the cabin when you went and got two master's degrees that didn't monetize that's what you did you traded the two because it's a balance sheet thing you got over here you got a $500,000 asset over here you got $200,000 debt and the sooner you fix that the sooner you can get in gear and start saving and actually retire and not eat alpo that's right and Rita you need to run actual numbers because what's going to make this compelling not just to you but to your husband is to say "Hey here's what we have you know teachers they set aside you know you have to pay into the pension here's what we have if we continue to go at this rate here's what our retirement will look like dollar-wise here's what we'll be bringing in." And that's going to shed some light when we compare that with what we owe on our mortgage and what we have to pay like real numbers are going to make this a very compelling argument for you guys to do what Dave said and go in the opposite direction so 36 years you've been taking care of him and now it's time for him to step up and say I'm going to be a man and we're going to make grown-up decisions together because we have made a mess by and large he has made a mess that's what it is you're trying to take care of him you're trying for him not to have any hurt feelings toughies you signed up for this trip he did and he gets to take it i'm sorry this is the Ramsay Show create your free every dollar budget today the simplest way to budget for your