Fireside Chat Ep. 208 — Social Media and Self-Esteem: Is There a Correlation? | Fireside Chat

You can cool it. Oh, that would have been great on camera. Was that on camera? That should go on. Didn't work, folks. Okay, everybody, I'm Dennis Prager. This is the Fireside Chat, and I learned just now number 208. I did not have to ask Megan the arm, right? Right. The arm. You know, I'm reflecting on the fact that this is 208 weeks consecutively. That means during the height or the nadir of the lockdown, we were here every week, the crew and I, not masked and not in fear. The young people who are in the crew correctly had little or no fear because it is not a threat to young people, COVID. That's a fact. It's a fact. Anyone who denies it is lying to you. I stake my reputation on that fact, okay? Either they're lying to you or I am, except I have been broadcasting 38 years. No one has ever said I lied once, even people who loathe what I say. I am as committed to truth as I am to my family. That's pretty deep, okay? So young people should not be wearing masks. Young people should not be doing anything different because they are not at risk of death. They're not even at risk of serious illness. This is, anything other than that is misinformation. That's the irony. So it bothers me when young people are walking around scared. So that's the crew. From my perspective, I've been on therapeutics as prophylactics, like what is dismissed as a horse dewormer. It was actually made for humans and got a Nobel Prize, ivermectin and vitamin D and a whole host of things. And I've been as healthy as a horse. How's that? A wormless horse for the entire period of time. And by the way, I don't walk around with the preoccupation of not dying. I love life. I am a happy dude. I have a great life. I mean great. To my family and friends and meaningful work and meeting terrific people and traveling around the world. I am as lucky a human as exists, but my purpose in life is not to avoid dying. My purpose in life is to live fully, not live forever. Big difference. And that's why I've never allowed fear to determine what I do. I've often given the example, probably here a long time ago, of when I would mention visiting Israel and people would call my radio show and they'd say, oh Dennis, I would so love to visit Israel, but I'm waiting until it's safe. So I came up with the slogan that until it's safe means never. And that's a fact. Nothing's perfectly safe. Nothing. Now you shouldn't take silly risks in life for no good reason, but you've got to live a full life. A full life involves risks. Having children involves risks. They can get sick. They could turn out awful. They could even die with horrible pain in any of those instances. But it's not a full life if you don't have a child. You could have a good life. You certainly could have a fun life. It's not a full life. A full life involves marriage and children. People don't want to lead full lives. They want to lead pain-free lives. I've said this, I should say it, almost every other week because it is so important, especially for those of you who are young and have not received good guidance in your life about how to lead your life. So let me get into an opening topic and then take your questions, which is the way I do all of the fireside chats. I don't know if you know this, but there is actually in the United States a Senate hearing on Instagram hurting, damaging young girls, teenage girls specifically, teenage girls with its Instagram photos of, I assume, other girls in sexy bikinis and the like. Is that correct? Okay. So there's actually a hearing. Facebook, which owns Instagram, is under pressure, I assume, to eliminate these pictures. So here is the Wall Street Journal article on it. Facebook, this is the headline, Facebook knows Instagram is toxic. Toxic. That means poisonous. For teen girls, company documents show, its own in-depth research shows a significant teen mental health issue that Facebook plays down in public. That's the headline. Here's how it begins. About a year ago, teenager Anastasia Vlasova started seeing a therapist. She had developed an eating disorder and had a clear idea of what led to it, her time on Instagram. She joined the platform at 13 and eventually was spending three hours a day entranced by the seemingly perfect lives and bodies of the fitness influencers who posted on the app. Quote, when I went on Instagram, all I saw were images of chiseled bodies, perfect abs, and women doing a hundred burpees in 10 minutes. Burpee is where you jump up and then do a push-up. A hundred in 10 minutes? These people are not real. Take me 10 minutes to do one. Said Ms. Vlasova, now 18. Okay. Among teens who reported suicidal thoughts, 13% of British users and 6% of American users traced the desire to kill themselves to Instagram. One presentation showed. Now, I'm sorry for laughing. No, no girl with suicidal thoughts is a laughing matter. I'm because the only alternative is to cry. So let me get this straight. Let you get this straight. Girls are watching chiseled bodies that look perfect and they will be perfect, whatever that means. And they are getting depressed and 6% in America are actually having suicidal thoughts. So here's a thought. Let's start with the worst suicidal thoughts. Any girl who was thinking of suicide because she sees a girl with a better body has far more problems than better bodies. Okay. Let's be honest. That girl is a troubled girl and needs help. So let's be clear about that. No one normal, otherwise, thinks of killing themselves because they saw a better body. And by the way, it is not new to see better bodies. People have seen better bodies since the advent of television, since the advent of movies, since the advent of advertisements. The advertisements today are downright modest compared to advertisements 40 years ago, where exactly these type of bodies in as little clothing would appear on giant billboards all over major metropolitan areas in the United States, all over. Okay. Did girls 40 years ago think of committing suicide, seeing those billboards? Nobody reported it. And if anybody said, I'm thinking of killing myself, I keep seeing billboards of perfect chiseled bodies, that would have been understood as a cry for help, having nothing to do with the bodies and the billboards. All right, let's be clear about that. So blaming chiseled bodies for suicidal thoughts is only a way of avoiding the real task of finding out what is troubling that girl. Now let's talk about the girls who were not thinking of suicide, but who are simply getting depressed over seeing better bodies. First of all, as the opening story in the Wall Street Journal showed, this girl at 16 was spending three hours a day, three hours a day, looking at chiseled bodies on Instagram. This girl has too much time on her hands and her parents play no role in her development. What are you, what have you been doing for three hours? Studying Portuguese, learning piano, reading a book, talking to friends, arranging a barbecue? No, looking at chiseled bodies. Okay. This girl is bored out of her bloody mind and she needs to fill it up. A PragerU presenter, Alain Lambert, he's a French Canadian, very bright man. And he wrote to me recently, he said, Dennis, I've been thinking about it, a very big problem in the West is too much time. What a great point. I have talked about boredom as a major, major problem in modern Western life. Secularism plus affluence equals boredom. And that's true. And he added the free time factor. There's just too much free time. People who have to earn a living don't have three hours a day to look at Instagram chiseled bodies. They just don't. They're too busy working and or going to school or whatever else they're doing. She's obviously not doing that. By her own admission, it's three hours a day. One suspects it's more than three hours a day. That's her acknowledgement. I've spent three hours a day. That's the bigger problem. Next, who doesn't see better in life? Who doesn't? Who doesn't compare themselves to others? Everyone on earth compares themselves to others. Parents compare their kids to other kids. Their kid is handsomer. Their kid is prettier. Their kid is brighter. Their kid is better manners. People do that all the time. Are they getting depressed because they saw in a park a woman with better kids, quote unquote, than her kids? What about people and spouses? You don't think that there are people who walk around thinking, wow, that guy's got a better wife than I do. She's got a better husband than I do. You know how many married people think that? A lot. Vast numbers. Is it toxic? Should we not allow people to meet the spouses of other people? Can you name one area of life where people don't feel bad about seeing something that they think is better than they have? So we're having a Senate hearing on Facebook. I can't stand Facebook. They're cancel culture chiefs. They shut down people they differ with. But in this case, I defend them. Why is it their business to prevent good-looking bodies from appearing on Instagram? Then you have to, there's nothing left. There is no arena. I played piano when I was a kid. I really, really wanted to be a classical pianist. And then I awakened one day and realized I don't have the talent to be a classical pianist. So when I heard great piano players, I realized, I felt bad. I'll never, I'll never play piano like they do. Was I suicidal? No. What I decided was I won't go into piano. That was it. I'm not going to be piano. I'll still play piano. People should still take care of their bodies, but they don't have to obsess over it and get, and get depressed because there are better bodies. The emptiness that this reveals is the problem more than any other single factor in this whole Instagram issue. Name me an area of life where people don't think somebody's better. Kid wants to be a basketball player or a baseball player. And then at one, at a certain age, he realized I'll never make a major league team. There is no area of life, no area of life that people don't feel bad because somebody hasn't better. I have one, I admit there is one I have. I envy guys who have their own jets. I would like to be able to fly anywhere I want, just driving my car up to the plane, going there and coming back the same night instead of having to sleep another night on the road. Doesn't depress me. I'm very grateful for the fact that I am giving speeches and that people want to hear what I have to say instead of, oh God, is that guy lucky he has his own private jet. We're having congressional hearings. All this does, here's the irony, is make these girls weaker. I thought feminism was to make girls strong. You're not strong if you get depressed overseeing a better body. That is strength. And you're going to be weakened if the government shuts down or forces Facebook to shut down Instagram. It'll just make girls weaker. Oh, I have a problem. We'll shut down the issue. I won't work on me to be strong. I'll have the government shut down something so that I don't have to even reflect on what bothers me. This whole thing is very unhealthy, to say the very least. Parents, strengthen your daughters. Don't go, oh, darling, I so feel for you. When you look at those pictures, you must feel so awful about yourself. It's not the right approach. Okay. Is that clear? We're producing very unhappy, very weak people. And weakness is another inevitable route or route to unhappiness. Okie doke. Question time on video. Hey, Dennis. My name is Zane. I'm 17 years old. I'm from Minnesota. And my question is, how important do you think trade school is? And should most high schoolers consider it or even college students? Okay, thank you, Zane. Good one. We have a video up at PragerU on this very subject, by the way, on trade schools. Trade school is a terrific way to learn a trade. Having a trade is a terrific way to make a living. Let me ask you something. What is more valuable to society, a professor of gender studies with a PhD, no less, or a welder? If we had no professors of gender studies in America, we would be a better society. If we had no welders, we'd be a much worse society. So I hope that answers the question in a nutshell. And now we will go to your questions that were sent in. Sienna45, Los Angeles, California, USA. Hello, Dennis. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I am listening to Fireside Chat, episode 104, having listened to all 103 episodes preceding it. So this was from a while ago, I guess. My question concerns your comment about the number one person in your life. Should be your spouse, not your child. Is your view the same in this scenario? Okay, I will use fictitious names. There are two children from a divorced marriage. The father, John, is now married to Jane and sees the kids twice a week. Is that clear so far? He's remarried to Jane and sees his kids twice a week. Is it your view that John and new wife be the number one person to each other, despite the lack of time John has with the children from the first marriage? John has voiced feelings of guilt about the idea of putting Jane first. Also, John and Jane do not have children, thank you. So when I have said you put your spouse first, it is in the normal condition of mother-father children, right? Where you have added, obviously and totally understandably, a completely different condition, where you do not have mother-father and children in the house all the time. Rather, you have mother and father and children only twice a week. In that case, yes, it is completely understandable that at those moments, his number one preoccupation will be the children. Everybody understands that, and I'm sure Jane would too. And that pretty much answers that. But as a general rule, there is nothing better for children than seeing a mother and father love each other. It is more important even than how much love they show the child. Children want security and guidance and guardrails more than they want just statements and effusions of love. Rebecca 22, Cannon City. Where's Cannon City, California as well? Usually this, no. Hello, Mr. Dennis Prager. I just want to tell you how much I love watching your fireside chats. Thank you. My question for you is, what is your favorite Bible verse that inspires you and gives you hope? Well, you see, this is a great example of a question that asks a few questions. My favorite Bible verse may not be the same as the one that inspires me and gives me hope. Okay? Just for the record. My favorite Bible verse is, those of you who love God must hate evil. That's my favorite. If you don't hate evil, you don't love God. I love it. I'm crazy about it. I hate evil. People gratuitously hurting other people is really something I hate. I've always hated it. I used to beat up bullies. My father was called to school very often. I was always the tallest in the class so I could do it. And I did it. I don't like evil. I hate it. And that's my favorite verse because it renders love of God and hatred of evil as synonymous. What gives me hope? The whole Bible. So I don't have one. I don't have one verse for hope. I hope that there is a good God and the Bible depicts a good God. A universe without a God or without a good God is a universe of despair. Okay. Olivia, 15, Detroit, Michigan. Hello, Dennis. Can you talk about good things in moderation? I know you lift weights and as an athlete sometimes I overload and get injured during workouts. Then I get better and the whole process starts again. What are effective ways to find balance in sports and in other parts of life? Have a good day. Thanks. The answer to almost all these questions is follow your mind, not your heart, not your passions, not your feelings. Follow your mind. Your mind tells you the following weight is the one my body can support. That's what I will lift. The following is the number of repetitions I can engage in without hurting myself. That's what I will do. If you allow your feelings to determine how much and how often you lift a weight, you'll hurt yourself. That's true about everything in life. So that's why I'm a big believer in being mind guided, not heart guided in life. It's worked out well for me. Jenny, 47, Indianapolis, Indiana. Dennis, my husband and I have spirited conversations around race, history, politics, et cetera. We recently had a discussion about systemic racism. Our experiences are different. He comes from the South. One moment. Okay. He comes from the South side of Chicago and I come from a farming community in Southern Indiana. His point is that the red line redistricting placed minorities in a situation that promotes poverty and not the same opportunity as those that were not affected by this plan. While no longer in place, it still has repercussions. What are your thoughts around this? I look forward to your insightful response. The notion that because a group was once hurt and discriminated against, it is a permanent feature of their lives is one of the ways in which the left hurts blacks. You have been so hurt in the past that you are continuing to be hurt. You are victims to this day of slavery that died 160 years ago. I don't think that that's true. I think that government policies have hurt blacks. Government policies to help blacks have hurt blacks more than the slavery that existed 160 years ago. That slavery obviously hurt blacks more than anything, but I'm talking about today. Jews went through the Holocaust and Jews who survived the Holocaust, which is very few Jews in Europe, they started a new life. They didn't dwell on what had happened to them. Many of them, nearly every member of their family was murdered and they went on to build a life. They did have PTSD. They did have horrible effects in most cases, but nevertheless, they built a family. They built a career. There was redlining against Jews in the United States. It was very common, no blacks, no Jews. Very common to see those in rental signs or in country clubs or in other places. Thank God for Jews. They didn't dwell on this. They just took the opportunities that were given to them once those barriers were broken. A lot of this comes from guilt. Guilt is not a productive sentiment, not a productive basis. Okay, young man, you know, he's recuperating from his surgery. He's doing very well, by the way. Good boy. That didn't work, but good boy anyway. People can't let these things stop them and guilt cannot be a motivator of rational behavior. By the way, you can only be guilty of what you're guilty of. You can't be guilty of what others did. It's a very odd notion. I'm white and therefore the whites who enslaved blacks make me guilty? Well, I'm white. My ancestors were in Russia getting beaten up by my dad while there was slavery in the United States. Why would I feel guilt over what? Not only did I have no role in, neither did my ancestors. And what about the whites whose ancestors were blown up in the Civil War fighting against slavery? Should they feel guilt too? It's a lot of Americans who died to end slavery in this country. What should their descendants feel? Malachi 52, Puyallup, Washington. You ever hear of Puyallup? You did? You? Can you talk about the left's current obsession with equity? President Biden claims he's approaching every decision from a perspective of equity and that this, that his administration will be making equity-based decisions. Okay. Equity means that the results have to be equal, not the opportunities, the results, not equal before the law, the results. So that's what they're doing in, what was it? One of the colleges in this country, a professor is in terrible trouble. He's hated because he would not change the rules on grading blacks at his college. Because he respects blacks and doesn't have the contempt for blacks that the left has, who truly do believe blacks are inferior. I swear to you, I swear on a Bible, I believe that the left thinks blacks are inferior. The KKK and the left have a very similar view of blacks. And they believe that if you don't change the rules for blacks, they'll fail. Can you think of a more contemptuous view of a people than that? That's what equity means. Let's change the rules. Oregon Education Department says, let's not have any longer the belief that there is one right answer in math. So two plus two is four for some, but for some it might be five. And if those some are people of color, then that's the right answer because we want equity. That's what equity is. And you're supposed to believe that that is helpful and good and right. Okay. I should end on a more cheerful note. A cheerful note is that you are the, here's a cheerful note, you are the captain of your ship. And the day you know that, whether you're black, white, yellow, red, a combination or something else, the day you know you are the captain of your ship, you will become a happy human being. And if your ship encounters an iceberg, let's hope that you have good lifeboats. And then you go on another ship and such is life. I'm Dennis Prager. I'll see you next week.