Fireside Chat Ep. 213 — Fear Is a Serious Problem | Fireside Chat

Hi everybody dennis prager here with otto What's otto doing? Licking the air He's licking the air That's exactly what he's doing Hey It's a very funny dog, there's no question about it bulldogs Are a crack up everybody who owns one Are you allowed to say that by the way owns a dog? I think no no according to the animal rights organizations. You cannot say you are your pet's owner You are your pets human companion I just wanted you to know that so He doesn't care by the way. He's he's very happily owned. So hi everybody. These are spontaneous All of them. I take your questions after I open up with a few comments. I'm going to be very brief on the opening comments Because two episodes ago Not episode two. Yeah episode two episodes ago 2 11 I spoke about fear I have another thought about fear I just wanted to share And it actually arose since then It's not a thought I didn't mention then it's a thought I hadn't thought of then It hit me because i'm been thinking about fear so much that fear Is arguably the strongest emotion humans have I used to think it was either love or hate and now I believe fear fear in most people Is the dominant emotion? And I and I see that happening There are people I know really wonderful people Who have stayed indoors for more than a year? And that of course was induced entirely by fear It's so powerful it is also a terrible source of hatred People hate what they fear. I'm not talking about inanimate objects like a virus. Well, it might Might be animate, but you know what I mean? But if there is a group For example, there is real hatred of the non-vaccinated Uh in the western world and in the united states specifically I mean hatred I mean even a desire to see that they die There are people who write comments on the internet That the non-vaccinated should not be treated in hospitals They have chosen not to get vaccinated Let them live with the consequences so that if they get really ill let them die Now it's it's so interesting because these same people if you asked well what about a a person who Uh who kidnapped a little girl tortured her to death? Should they be treated in the hospital if they're wounded by the police? Oh, of course And then confront them. So you think if you torture a little kid to death You deserve To be treated in a hospital But if you didn't get the a covid vaccine you don't That's that is Hatred that's genuine genuine hatred And it comes from fear. They'll kill me Or they'll kill my grandmother If my five-year-old now is not vaccinated Kill my kill me or or somebody else because everybody knows five-year-olds are not dying of covid So it they'll kill somebody anyway fear uh is is the the way in which totalitarian regimes focus hatred onto a group In communist countries. That is how they focused hatred on let's say land owners Or business owners or the bourgeoisie the middle class the capitalist they You should fear them. They they are trying to hurt you That's how the germans did it with the jews. It was fear of the jews That enabled people to accept the horrors of what the nazis did to jews Fear is really scary As odd as that sounds Fear is frightening So it's not only good for you It's also horrible for others to live in fear That I spoke about last time. So the question has arisen by people who Take these fireside chats to heart. How do you become a less fearful person? And like just about everything else in life It's a choice you make What is the difference between? a courageous person and a non-courageous person It is not that the courageous person does not have fears It's that they don't act on them in The arena of fear and courage I am a behaviorist like I am in every other area act What you believe You should do So it started with my understanding of happiness. You should act happy even if you don't feel happy if if you have Physiological neurological issues that Absolutely prevent you from acting happy that's a separate issue But for most people you can act it even if you don't feel it That's a very big deal. That is the biggest deal in life to not allow feelings to determine your behavior You behave the way you should You don't behave the way you feel That's the most important moral lesson. There is What are my shoulds? Not what are my feels Act on feelings You will lead a miserable narcissistic And probably bad life so With regard to fear I would argue the same thing You won't get rid of your fears. Well, you will eventually to a certain extent But you can't wait until your fears leave you to act less fearful You act less fearful and then the fears will begin to leave you that is the way it works Get the hell out of your house and one one way to understand it is I have to weigh the The pathetic life i'm living cooped up in my house for a year and a half Or not allowing my children to play with other children because I am fearful for them even though they the the There's virtually zero chance Of they're getting very sick. Let alone dying from covet Preventing your children from playing with other children has a might have a permanent detrimental effect Or having them wear masks and not seeing faces For a year and a half now or more than a year and a half These are bad things and they're all the results of fear So you just you just decide one day My children must play with other children I I must get out of this house Now in the final analysis, you have to grapple I guess with the question of gee, what if I get sick? Okay, so you got sick What if you die? It's not a good thing to die. Certainly prematurely. It's not a good thing to die probably at any age. It's just It's a lousy end to life But you you can't be absorbed with What if I die That can't be the animating question of a good life As I said and I I have that i've had this attitude my whole life I adopted it I think in as early as high school I I would like to live long But it is more important to live fully It is more important to live fully than to live long That's really something important to remember I I have not led my life Guided by the question. What if I die? If you do you won't do anything I would never have visited 130 countries Some some of them were dangerous Now I don't take silly risks and I do wear seat belts I don't want to die and certainly not for a stupid reason. I not like like not wearing a seat belt Anyway, that has no effect On the quality of my life on the other hand masks do have an effect on the quality not just of your life but of society's life Not seeing people's faces for over a year and a half We pay a price for that People I I read all the time. What's the big difference? You know a little piece of material over your face You have to be kidding A piece of material over your face is a veil People people who wear veils like in the middle east women who wear veils Many of us I certainly I have said for years. It's dehumanizing It's literally dehumanizing. I the human is known by their face Not by their arm Not by their leg Or stomach you're known by your face Hide your face you hide you I think it's awful seeing not being able to see people's faces for this long We are paying a real price and kids are paying a worse price Not seeing other kids faces and not seeing adults faces anyway uh-oh Another time it doesn't happen often maybe 20 times out of 213 But I don't own him That was a joke. I do own him, but I don't control him That's what I want. Maybe he'll come back So here it is the decision is yours Not will you stop don't ask will I stop being frightened or stop being fearful? ask Will I act on it? Not will I act? Non-fearful even if I feel fearful That's what you have to do on happiness and every other subject act Choose how to act and then the feelings will follow Because if you let the feelings guide the actions nothing will change All right. It is time for your questions Okay, here we go Hi, Dennis. My name is sophia. I am 18 years old. I'm from ventura county California and my question for you is When do you think that? Um states like texas and other very conservative states will follow in the footsteps of california and other leftist states That is what we call a pessimistic question That's funny What do I think they will follow? I don't I don't I don't see that happening It depends and look there it could happen. You know when it could happen if enough californians move to texas That's what they did california's did to arizona california's did it to washington and oregon So it might happen. It might happen to texas texas is not a scared state. They're proud of the fact that They they don't operate on fear just to uh Tie it into what we said earlier. All right, that was quick All right, jenna 46 years old el segundo california hi snoopy otto and dennis Thank you snoopy's not here, but otto just It's so funny. Like did he go out to get a drink? God was that graceful? That's his middle name graceful Hi, snoopy otto and dennis. I can't even tell you how much I appreciated your don't raise fearful children fireside chat. There we go I'm a single mama raising an eight-year-old boy and a two-year-old girl My son's father is one of the most fearful people I have ever met He leaves his packages on the patio for three days after a full antibacterial wipe down In the book of opposites, there's me and him At all of my son's cub scouts meetings. His father tells my son to quote lift the mask every seven seconds Oh because they're not oh it's not being I don't understand lift. Oh, I see because it's below his nose We are polar opposites when it comes to fear I have wondered for years why his father is so afraid of everything Capitalized your fireside chat led me right to the source of his fear his mother I will never forget the time his mother asked if he needed help cutting his meat So he wouldn't cut him wouldn't cut himself And he was 50 years old. I didn't like if my mother cut my meat when I was five And she didn't His parents bought him a house paid his property taxes a car housekeeper his gardener and even paid his doctor visit co-pays He has always been coddled My son's father thinks a good parent is a helicopter parent How do I ensure that my son isn't a scary cat shaking in the corner of life? But instead takes calculated risks to discover Navigates his way through challenges and learns by doing life one tough mama jenna Yeah, you know my kind of woman jenna But you know what the kids are lucky. They have you here's a very interesting question here Can a healthy parent compensate for an unhealthy parent? He's very restless today By the way, the uh, there he goes Okay, bye-bye This is a very interesting question Can a healthy parent? Compensate for an unhealthy parent or does the unhealthy parent? Overcome the health of the healthy parent. I don't have a standard answer on it It would be interesting to ask a hundred psychiatrists or psychologists I don't know or just a hundred people who had both My sense is that the healthy parent has has that advantage I think you can undo Your scaredy cat husband So that's the good news You just you just continue Without necessarily badmouthing him. I don't think parents should badmouth another parent even after divorce uh, but just say look, uh That's not my attitude toward life go out there and conquer the world Samantha 33 portland oregon. Hi dennis and hello to the usual suspects. That's you guys I recently started listening to your fireside chats and prager you videos. I wish I had known about them in college Let's see. She's 33 She was in college 10 years ago. We weren't in existence So you can drop the regret I wish I had known about them in college so I could better and more confidently defend my position Though prager you started about halfway through my years there. Oh, all right Good. I was thinking the other day about men versus women and wondered your thoughts on the idea that women Use their words as weapons Extreme feminism tries to portray women as less violent than men I agree women are less prone to react physically to a situation But this is in part because we tend to wound with words It is not because women are more moral than men This is the assumption in statements such as if women were in charge, there would be no more war. Thank you well, you're a quality woman because The trick is to to be able to be objective about your own sex your own group your own religion your own anything And you are That is exactly right. So here's my theory There are as many Awful women as awful men There are as many wonderful women as wonderful men and vice versa, obviously That is a very very deep belief of mine But they express their characteristics in different ways Women's awfulness comes in its direction Women are disproportionately involved in tearing down our universities and high schools and elementary schools They just are But they're not doing it physically Men are disproportionately involved in murder and rape and theft There you go That's correct each each uh Let's put it this way each one does its destructiveness in its own way And each one does its constructiveness In its own way men and women are quite different That's the way god made the world But this notion if women ran the world I'm i'm watching it take place in the united states Watching it take place in new zealand Where the woman who was prime minister said if you don't hear it from the government, it isn't true I played that like 10 times on my radio show All truth comes from the government from the state That's quite a statement. That's scary stuff There is no other truth other than what the state tells you I've played the recording of her saying it Would you like the world run by such leaders? All truth comes from us There are no other versions of truth There are no no dissent is admirable Okay That was a good question. I and I salute you Steven 38 plattsburgh, new york, dear dennis. I love the fireside chats. I await the release of new episodes every week I am a white privileged male seeking advice. I'm currently engaged to a woman I love deeply who immigrated to america and is now a citizen Before trump's presidency political issues were never a hot topic within our nearly eight-year relationship however These issues continued to the point. I decided I was not ready to marry Covid also made it difficult. She is a strong opinionated woman with a great heart I've attempted many different suggestions from friends family google to no avail. What would you do in my shoes? Don't hold back, please Okay, I won't hold back Find somebody else If you're already married I I have different suggestions to people on how to work out Very big differences whether it's covid or politics, but if you're not yet married Why would you want to enter a marriage with such huge differences? Marriage inevitably has its own challenges just because of life Why would you want to add we don't share some very basic values As I said had you been married and especially if you had a child I would give different advice I would say for example, don't talk politics Why why invite a fight? But but obviously you're suppressing a big part of yourself if you don't talk about those things But it's worth suppressing that part of yourself to keep a marriage happy But you're not married So what's what's what's I don't even know what the question is. I know what the question is you love her And that's powerful but now as like Every time in life you have to be guided by your mind not your heart victor39 timishawara Romania Hello, dennis team and furry friends cool Firstly, thank you so much for helping us be better and happier people Me and my significant other drive every weekend to visit my parents and her grandmother of 94 years old And sunday is always fireside chats day on our way back home My secular upbringing makes me struggle to understand why marriage is so important I'm, very in love with my best friend of more than 20 years 10 of which we spend together Or spent together or have spent together. How can a piece of paper make our relationship more than it is right now? Other than in legal ways, of course much love from romania. Well, love to you in romania I gave two speeches in romania a few years ago had a great time really great time so This I hear a lot Why get married? We love each other. We're committed to each other It's just a piece of paper So I turned the question around 180 degrees If it's just a piece of paper Why not do it? You don't believe it's just a piece of paper If you did Okay, why not? So here are a few a few basic arguments There's no comparison between calling your significant other my girlfriend or my partner versus my wife It's a different world the day you say my wife everything changes Hopefully for the better but not even necessarily better or worse just changes That's serious. That's an announcement to society That we have committed to each other in every way. Yes, including legally Formally if you will if you wish You are no longer her boyfriend You're her husband It's a big deal Ask anybody who has made the change after being together more than let's say five years from girlfriend to wife Boyfriend to husband they will tell you how different that is And if you want children You owe it to them to be married That is your official statement. Mommy and daddy Are also husband and wife That that's a bond That is different from boyfriend and girlfriend so Now you're right The religious world is much more pro-marriage than the secular world You probably heard that here and it's one of the many differences between secularism and religious life So it's an argument for a religious life, but you don't have to be religious to get married obviously But it is a huge difference It's not just a piece of paper It's like saying, you know, I know how to drive a license is just a piece of paper Getting a driver's license is an official statement of your ability to drive A lot of people know how to drive without that official statement But we need official statements. It's better for you better for her And better for society We don't think anymore what's good for society that that question has sort of died But that is one of the reasons for people to get married It is better for society That people bond and take care of each other And not rely on the state to do so Let's see Oh boy. All right. Here's a Here's a depressing one to end with Liz 30 years old jerusalem israel I'm an orthodox jew and you would think being religious has me covered Maybe it would be enough if I didn't deal with chronic depression But as it is, I don't see much of meaning to life And I wish I had never been born How can I find my meaning or just any meaning? To help me in the more difficult days I do think it's important to add i'm not in any danger of self-harm just deep misery Thank you. I love your fireside chats, by the way Well, my heart goes out to you. You're 30 And you wish you hadn't been born I can't say that i've met many people who wish they hadn't been born That's that was a very revealing statement that it really it hit me hard That you're walking around thinking that it is clear You are clinically depressed my My argument that most people Should act happy even if they don't feel it is not really applicable to People who are have clinical depression So for people like you, that's why they have psychiatric drugs Have you tried any? Maybe Manipulating some aspect of your brain Will will will have you? Look at life differently Without obviously speaking to you and I and I i'm not a psychiatrist either I certainly can provide you the answer, but I do think You didn't mention you had looked into into psychiatric drugs and you should there's no shame in taking them Taking a psychiatric drug is no more shameful If you need it Then getting a cast for a broken arm You need it You shouldn't feel this way No one should feel this way That you wish you hadn't been born and you're and you're that depressed There are so many reasons To live there are so many things that give healthy people meaning friends and relatives Marriage and children if if you have that and hobbies and interests and passions and Music I mean if the list is endless and none of them seem to work for you That's uh, that's that's clinical depression And you must treat it as such I would be interested in hearing from you again I mean I wish you success Okay, y'all great to be with you. I'm dennis prager on behalf of otto I was just saying snoopy, but he's not here on behalf of otto. Thanks for watching Oh Otto's not here either on behalf of me And megan who is officially producer That that that she boy did she earn that they didn't rush in giving you that title But you you've earned it. See you next week Thank you for watching this video to keep prager you videos free, please consider making a tax-deductible donation