How Do I Financially Prepare for Divorce in My 60s?

[Music] brought to you by the every dollar app start budgeting for free today I think I have two main questions can we afford to own two homes and the second was if we divorce what considerations are there for our investment account so just a tiny bit of background we're we're living separately at home I'm 5 my husband's 67 I travel two to three weeks out of every month to go and help um our daughter who lives in a different state with her tiny little ones with another one on the way um I've gotten involved in a church up there and starting to develop some friendships up there um my daughter and son-in-law they want me to come as much as I want and to to be there with them but they don't really want to spend time um with my husband why um um behavioral and emotional immaturity I think I would say um focus is that her dad it doesn't seem to no I said is that her father oh was that her father I'm sorry yes okay so she she doesn't want a relationship with her father is she wants it no more than a couple days at a time because she's concerned about him being being around the young kids um what's wrong with him what's wrong with him um well I have involved our church um and tempted to talk to him but I'd say it's um um emotional immaturity spiritual immaturity relational immaturity um focus on politics and things that just don't matter um he has to ask for forgiveness every time these things happen what are what are these things I mean he yells at people or what um trying to think of a real quick example um uh he doesn't know when to quit when people say I don't want to talk about that he he won't quit um and I've talked to my pastor about it and he's tried to set up times to talk with him but he'll he just says that he will go to counseling but then it never happens so we've been living separately in our own home here for about six months okay um yeah I I do not like that your daughter and your grandkids are driving this you owe your marriage more than that how long you been married oh we've been married for 41 years and maybe I'm maybe I'm not explain you need to go you without your daughter's input I'm tired of her input already you need to go sit down with a counselor and start talking to the counselor about how to talk to your husband of 40 years that you're going to require him to sit down in counseling with you and you need to be able to give some words to that um for him for you to stay in the marriage okay well then I put boundaries around things and I I may have I think maybe I jumped ahead um this is just getting progressively worse yeah because you ran off to the you ran off to another city for three weeks at a time and griped with your daughter about how bad a man this is that you've been married to for 40 years of course it's not getting better well and I hate to correct you there I really do but that that is not how it's panned out and what you told me well yeah I'm trying to be careful here um because this has been ongoing for years and years and my going there so much is just re ly started to pick up because of the need there I am not running away from my home here and my responsibilities here and I'm confident of that and my pastor's confident of that all right then you you guys have to decide if you're going to be married and then you need to decide that and then you'll decide whether you're going to do stuff no I would not try to live in two different cities and act like we're not married when we're still married that would that would be suicidal relationally emotionally financially yes so so I'm you know deciding our home here is paid off um when you when you divorce you turn your your balance sheet into a business and you're just going to look at what we own and what we owe and that's going to be split and so you guys start thinking about that yes and I have and I um I contacted I have my investment account the 1.3 million with um one the one of the brand and I went to another one of the brands to have because I'm right now 9010 in stocks and then uh bonds and well you don't need to move anything until you decide if it's what's going to be split exactly exactly so now you need to decide F first thing we got to do is just add it all up and start talking to a diverse attorney and how much of that's going to be yours how much of it's going to be his because in Most states it's down the middle right it's 50/50 here and he says my husband says he understands that I mean I've managed all that I've built it we've done it together but he said you you deserve more than that but I said well beyond that we just need to figure out what we're going to do and they worked out this plan for me with a 5050 split but with it changing from 9010 stocks and bonds to 7030 stocks and bonds so I had a question for you about that I was thinking about going with a second company that they do individual stocks and I know that that is generally you just you do not do that no I wouldn't do any of that I think you got a whole lot bigger plan problem than whether you're in stocks or bonds honey you're in a marriage of 41 years you need to think about and you all need to concentrate on that and you need to put a bow on that one way or another either we're in a healing mode um or we're in an ending mode when it ends you take your chip poker chips off the table then you sit down and you know you can go to a Ramsey Solutions and click on smartvestor Pro they'll sit down and put you in some mutual funds is what I would do it's pretty simple I wouldn't be in stocks I wouldn't be in bonds I wouldn't be in 7030 I wouldn't be in 9010 be 100% of mutual funds that's what I'm in and you've been listening to me you already knew that create your free every dollar budget today the simplest way to budget for your life