The Definitive Guide to Getting Girls Who Are “Out of Your League”

Hi everyone. Welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, I'm Courtney Ryan and today we're going to be talking about how to get the girl who's out of your league. But I'm going to give a little bit of a different approach to this. I'm going to be taking a look at an article about this topic. But I first want to preface by saying this. The concept of someone being out of your league is something that I haven't talked about in a pretty long time. And that's because I think it can be pretty subjective and nuanced. But one thing is for sure. You have to be the partner that you seek. I think the key to finding someone who's a good match for you is to be great on your own first. And also understand that men and women are attracted to different things, right? If you approach dating by thinking, this girl's way out of my league, your experience is probably going to reflect that. I'm not going to tell you to be delusional, but instead to make yourself a better candidate. And a lot of the content that I've made is exactly how to do that. But let's see what this article has to say because I'll be honest, I've seen some very strange content online in terms of getting someone who's out of your league, dream girl, dream guy, seeking perfection, and just a ton of advice that I think is not so great. So let's get into it. This says, how to get the girl who's out of your league? Your guide to asking the right questions and making the right moves at the right time. In movies and yes, real life, you see drop dead gorgeous women on the arms of average Joes. Whether your dream girl is Kate Upton or the bookworm that lives down the hall, we spoke with sex and relationship expert Megan Fleming, Ph.D. to find out how to tip the odds in your favor. We're not talking about being phony or tricking a woman into falling in love with you. Good, because I hate that. We've garnered the best dating and life advice for becoming and showing the very best version of yourself. Alright, sounds pretty promising in the intro here. I'll also say this. I just reacted to a video not that long ago about why attractive women date losers. And I covered this briefly in that video. I think there's going to be a lot of overlap in what I said in that video compared to this one. So go watch that if you haven't already because I think it's really interesting, this concept of why do really attractive women date losers? And in this case it says, you know, you see drop dead gorgeous women on the arms of average Joes. Well, maybe they're actually a good match, right? Maybe she's drop dead gorgeous but she doesn't have that much going on other than that. Maybe that's her only redeeming quality. Or maybe the guy's actually not so average and you just think that because you're a guy. A lot of you might see a guy and think, oh, he's such a nerd. How'd he pull that girl? Meanwhile, girls are obsessed with him. So I just want to say that to start because that little line in the intro reminded me of that video that I did and it's not always as clear as it seems but sometimes it is as clear as it seems and, you know, the attractive girl, maybe she's a loser too. So anyway, the first one here is be confident in who you are. A man who knows his worth, who he is and what he wants is unbelievably attractive. The first step is always identifying who you believe you are and aren't. In other words, you have to know what you want and need both in life and a relationship before you're capable of being with any woman. What's more, if you're unhappy with who you are, that insecurity with your identity can be the root of your dating insecurities and why you don't feel worthy of an incredible girl. Yeah, and I think this is an important element to talk about that a lot of you could probably resonate with. You know, it says if you're unhappy with who you are, that insecurity with your identity can then be the root of your dating insecurities and why you don't feel worthy of an incredible girl. And I know that there are a lot of you who probably fall under that category. If you don't feel worthy of having a wonderful woman or a healthy, happy relationship in your life, you're either not going to get it at all or when you do get it, you're going to self-sabotage. So I think it's important to also be kind to yourself. I think confidence is really important and believing in yourself is really important and there are achievable and tactical things that you can do to improve your confidence. I've done videos about that. But I also want to mention, like I said in my intro here, I'm not going to tell you to be delusional. I want you to ask yourself the tough questions. Are you someone that the person you want to be with would want to be with too? And how can you improve your life and make it one that you feel proud and confident to bring a woman into? It's very hard to be confident in your relationship if you're not confident in yourself. And I do think it all starts with you doing the inner work, working on yourself, and really making yourself someone that the person you want to be with would want to be with too, right? Be the love you seek. Another thing that can really help in leveling up your confidence is implementing a quality skincare routine from today's sponsor, Tiege Hanley. Tiege Hanley makes taking care of your skin uncomplicated. They provide you with all the products you need and nothing that you don't. Start with the basics here. A daily face wash, an exfoliating scrub, an AM moisturizer with SPF 20, and a PM moisturizer. They also provide this instruction card in every box that tells you when to use each product, how much to use, and in what order. This isn't something you want to put off because prevention is key. We're all going to age, but you can do it gracefully by having a skincare routine. Not only will this help your confidence, but your future self with skin that looks better than every other guy will be thankful. In addition to amazing skin, members of Tiege Hanley get tons of benefits including at least 20% off of the retail price, access to exclusive monthly deals, pause or cancel at any time, and free US shipping. And because Tiege Hanley is sponsoring today's video, they're offering my viewers a great deal. Just click that first link down in the description and you'll get 30% off of your first box plus a free gift. Don't miss out on this amazing deal. Click that link and get started today. Okay, the next one here is don't put her on a pedestal. Amen. Get to the root of why you want to be with her. Sure, you can be intimidated by her education, job, social standing, attractiveness, maybe even her height. But are these factors influencing you? Absolutely. Check yourself. Be curious about feelings of longing, frustration, and desire. If you're only infatuated with her because she's a swimsuit model or you've got an ex you'd really like to make jealous, well, that's going to cause some problems. Take her off the pedestal and evaluate whether or not you can really see a relationship with her. This is a mistake that I see far too many men making. You idolize this girl. You paint her as if she's this perfect creature in your head. You put her on a pedestal. And it almost always destroys the entire thing. It is self-sabotage. And I'll be honest, this is why I kind of have a problem with the whole out of your league type of language from the start here. Because you already think that she's too good for you. You know, when you say how to get a girl out of your league, well, you already think she's better than you. You already think she's too good for you. You are quite literally putting her on a pedestal by thinking that she's out of your league. So I think that's the first problem here. And I'm assuming that's why you clicked on this video. You want to know how to get girls out of your league. You want to know how to get girls who you think are better than you. So instead of pedestalizing women. Instead of creating this perfect version of them in your head, I want you to really come back down to earth for a minute and think to yourself. Do you actually like her? And are you genuinely compatible? Or do you just want her to like you? Or do you just think that she's attractive? Just because you think someone's attractive doesn't mean that they would be a good partner for you. And not to mention that putting a girl on a pedestal is a surefire way to kill any sort of attraction. So do not do this. And again, that's why in the beginning I said this is going to be kind of a different approach to the how to get a girl out of your league conversation. Because I don't think it really helps you by thinking this girl's so much better than me. This girl's way out of my league. Just go watch the movie She's Out of Your League. And you will see exactly what I mean. Not good. Good article so far. The next one is make the first move. Just go up and say hello to her on the subway, street, wherever. Women have the same internal struggle to strike up conversations with men. So for the most part, yeah, you have to make the first move. Before you say hi, check out her energy and body language. If she seems closed off, like she's facing the corner of the subway, earbuds in, it's probably not the best time to approach her. If she seems open, speak to her from a place that's interested in getting to know her, Fleming adds. You have a much better shot of getting her number and maybe even a date this way. Yeah, what's funny that I think a lot of men don't realize is that women are, or at least I think, women are more scared of rejection than men are. We wait until you signal interest in us to make sure that we don't get rejected. If you think men don't handle rejection well, most women don't handle rejection well at all. And we don't even experience it to the degree that you do. I mean, we avoid this like the plague. So yes, I would recommend making the first move. Obviously, understand body language, read the room. I think those are really important if you're going to be approaching women to be able to do that. And again, as I mentioned so many times before, some women like to be approached, some women don't. It's kind of just a gamble that you take when you approach one. Instead of getting into the weeds here about approaching, I want you guys to go watch videos I've done about how to approach women, how to make the first move, how to approach women without being creepy. I have done a ton of videos about this, so I want you guys to go watch those. I will link them below for you. I think this could really help you out. Again, instead of getting into the weeds here about it in this video, I've already covered it extensively in other videos, so go check those out. But yes, I think this is important. Not every girl you approach is going to like you, but you don't know unless you try. If you don't try, you've already failed. Next is show her a good time. Okay, so you got the date. Whether you're out to dinner or doing something out of the box like these fun first dates, and it lets you click and see what the first dates are, ask her questions that dig a bit deeper into the surface. Make small gestures that connect the two of you on a physical level, far away from the friend zone. Feel out the situation first and see how she reacts to leaning in when you talk to her. If you make it to a second and third date, kiss her, hold her hand, make your moves genuine, and if she's responsive, great. That's your green light. If she's not responsive, try again once to see if she's more receptive, Fleming says. If not, maybe friendship is all she's interested in. And if that's the case, then it's on to the next one. Yeah, a date should be fun. It should be a way for you to get to know each other to see if you're compatible, but it should also be enjoyable and something that you have fun doing, right? There are definitely better first dates than others. Again, I've done videos about this. The best first dates, the worst first dates, really going to come down to you and the person that you're seeing, what one girl likes, another may hate, and that's just kind of the reality. You know, sometimes you either will be compatible with someone or you won't be. You'll either have a connection or you won't, but there are definitely things that you can do to improve your chances, and this is not being manipulative. It's just understanding attraction, right? You know, having open body language, making eye contact, leaning in when someone talks to you. If you lean in to talk to her and she leans back, that's a good sign. You know, if you do something and she mirrors your body language, that's a good sign. If you go to take a drink and then she goes to take a drink right after you, that's a good sign. She's mirroring you. That's a way to get people to like you more, and I really want to emphasize the fact that sometimes you can do everything right, and someone still won't like you. This is not a 100% success rate, do this, results guaranteed type of thing. Relationships and dating is incredibly nuanced. It is not black and white, and anyone online who tells you do this and you'll get this automatically, it's not the reality. So, I think it's important to know that going in and to be realistic about your expectations. But yes, have a good time. Even if she doesn't like you, at least have a good time for yourself. Do something fun that you enjoy. And in terms of the last little part here, you know, if not, maybe friendship is all she's interested in. Do I recommend being friends with a woman that you would like to be more than friends with? No, I don't. I don't think that's going to help you at all. And like she said, if that's the case, then on to the next one. Yep, know when it's time to walk away. It's not going to work out with everyone that you go on a date with, and that's okay. But we need to have reasonable expectations going in so that we can bounce back and move on. If you need first date tips, if you need conversation tips, questions that you could ask, body language, stuff like that, I've done videos on all of these topics, so go check those out. And the last one is ask for what you want. In the end, you have to be real and genuine and just put yourself out there. Whether you want a second date with her or want to make things more official, ask for it. In life and with women, always ask for what you want. Ask for it nicely and be prepared to hear no. If you don't ask, you'll never know and be left wondering. Yep, after the date, you text her. You say, had a great time. Hope you made it home safe. Would love to see you again. You're putting it out there that you would like a second date. You think it went well. You're We need to be better collectively at communicating, right? Instead of playing games and expecting people to be mind readers and also just being straight up toxic. And there's absolutely an element of truth to this. If you don't ask for what you want, you won't get it. If you don't ask for a raise at work, you're probably not going to get it. That's always been my experience. If you are respectful and a gentleman and you handle yourself well, the worst thing she can say when you ask her if you want a second date is no. Or she'll ghost you. That's the worst that could happen. Does that suck? Yes, it does. Absolutely. I can empathize with the fact that that sucks. But you don't know unless you ask. And at least you can say that you tried. In terms of making things official, slow and steady wins the race. You don't want to be clingy. You don't want to be desperate. You want to take things slow and steady and get to know this person and see if you're compatible. Again, do you even like her or are you trying to get her to like you? So overall, I thought this article had pretty good advice and was a little bit different than the normal content that I see about how to get your dream girl, how to get a girl that's out of your league. I think a lot of language we use around this can be actually more harmful than helpful. So I hope this video gave you just kind of a different perspective and just take a different approach or look at things a different way that could ultimately help you. You can let me know down in the comments what you thought. If you like this video or found it helpful, be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when I release new content. If you haven't already, be sure to follow me over on Instagram at CourtneyChristineRyan. I love connecting with all of you guys over on there as well. Let me know down in the comments what you think about this whole topic. I know the title of this video was the definitive guide to getting, you know, a girl who's out of your league and I hope you can see after this video that it really does start with you. It starts with you being confident in your life and in yourself so much so that you would feel confident bringing a woman into it. It starts with you not pedestalizing women and self-sabotaging. It starts with you getting out of your comfort zone and making the first move, having a good time and going after what you want. That is the guide. The guide or the definitive answer here is that it starts with you. You've got to be someone that the person you want to be with would want to be with too. And so I encourage you to think about all of this and really be honest with yourself about, you know, what you're currently doing, what you could do to improve, what you want. Write it down if that would be helpful and let me know what you think down in the comments. I would love to hear from you guys down below. I would love to hear your experiences. Share some wisdom with other guys. Just get a good productive conversation going down in the comments. As always, thank you all so much for watching and I will see you all next time.