I’m Afraid To Leave My Cheating Girlfriend

[Music] brought to you by the every dooll app start budgeting for free today I'm having an issue with like relationship wise and also my financial stresses um my uh my girlfriend has overspend her and we're also having some relationship issues and just trying to figure out exactly um the best way to go about it go about what just go about like um whether or not like exactly how to um trying to think of the name um sorry trying to figure it out um how to go about talking to her about the financial stuff and whether or not she'll go with it what kind of relationship issue what do you mean you said we're having relationship issues yeah so she um she's gone about like um cheating and stuff like that and I've um sticked with her for a little bit of a Time still and I have a I have a daughter with her and a stepson um however I'm not really a um I don't want to leave her if that is the right way to say it because I don't want the financial stresses on her and for that poor son of hers man you got yourself all twisted up here brother okay um she's making choices about her life and her son that she had with another father yes right now you are you are you drove by she's cheating on me like you went through the drive-thru at Burger King she's cheating on me as a full stop dude that's like stop overspending and I want to work it out and I'm worried about her kid eating those are way down the road of thinking I'm things I'm worried about once we got past the other thing got it did I miss something or I mean are you just having is you just nervous on the radio but I mean well yeah I'm a little nervous on the radio too it's my first time being on the radio that's fair fair we're not going to kill you I just went okay there's a whole bunch of different stuff here so her feeding her son now your daughter is a different issue that's your job okay you took that on when you made the baby dingding it's how that works okay you didn't take on cheating girlfriend for life cuz you didn't marry her and you certainly didn't take on her kid for life because you didn't marry her you can care about them but that's different than you having a moral ethical responsibility for their be for their well-being the well-being and moral and ethical responsibility you have in this whole conversation is one daughter that's it am I missing something John no I I'm I'm I'm still a little bit speechless on how you rattled this thing out like what what am I missing here brother um so I I left I left my I left her for the fir once already to go to Texas uh I live in Washington um that way I can uh pursue a diving career um and did you leave your daughter in Washington I did don't do that understand and I I resented it and she followed me over to Texas okay um and we lived in over in my mom's house for a little bit I was paying off my debts and she um what is it called um I went up for four months to uh on a diving boat to repair type stuff and saved about $10,000 um and I was paying off a lot of debts and stuff and then um having a bunch of issues with my family-in-law sure and you don't have a family in-law yeah you're not married my family yeah um and then uh as I was diving I had a horrible accident come back and I found out she was cheating okay you made you made 10 grand over four months uh no it was um that's with paying off all my wait a minute I'm a diver what was the nature of your horrible accident commercial diving I know what did you what what did you hurt did you get the bins um yeah I got the bins it was um type one illness okay um have you did it mess up brain function no okay it just really my ears um at this current moment okay having some massive ear issues yeah you're probably done with that sport huh done with that career are you back to work are you working somewhere else now yeah I'm working back with my um company that I used to work for uh in Washington where I would do Christmas lights and um soft washing on roots and stuff yeah you're not going down more an atmosphere again probably okay hey uh how old are you I'm 24 how old is she almost 30 okay all right and where's your family hun my family is in Texas um so I don't have anyone over here in Washington is she is she back in Washington in your area too yes we're both back in Washington um I when I had all that stuff saved um and my family actually kicked everyone out of the house because she didn't like the way my um girlfriend was saving up money and she was just not spending or she was just spending everything and not saving money all right so here's here's what I want you to do I want you to get your priorities in the right order okay okay priority number one is you and your daughter need to have a safe place to live and what I mean by safe is a secure place with food with with shelter with um utilities okay yes I have all that right You' have stable work yeah then I want you to go down and be very clear about next steps on your romantic relationship This Woman's 30 got two kids two different dads she's running around on you again hopefully she stopped that nonsense when y'all are back together in Washington but I want yall to start being adults you're not dating I mean you're not you're not high school high schoolers dating y'all are adults having adult conver I mean adult relationships you made a kid you're going to you're going to mess around and make another kid and you're putting everybody at risk and then as a part of dealing with what our relationship is going to look like here here's my boundaries here's what must be true for me to remain in relationship with you and that's going to require you standing up on two feet and saying I'm the father of this young daughter and as for me and my house is what this going to look like if you want to be a part of our house you're not going to cheat anymore we're going to go to to premarital counseling here's what it's going to look like to spend money you see what I'm saying I want you to get very clear you're trying to just kind of lukewarm everything and it's all just feeling like like old wet oatmeal do you get what I'm saying yeah this got it's almost like um this is just blowing in the wind yeah and you're going to have to stand up and go okay enough I don't do this correct this I don't do and if you do this you don't get to be here yeah period ever again um or if you want to just say you did this so you don't get to be here that'd be okay too which is kind of where I would be but you do whatever you want to do I'm kind of pretty cold on that stuff this is the Ramsey Show create your free every dooll budget today the simplest way to budget for your life