COMMENT ÉLEVER (correctement) SES ENFANTS ?

Children need to be able to fully feel all their emotions and to know that it will be accepted by their parents. Except that we say to parents, no, the anger of your children is not acceptable. So what is the message here? The message is that the disease is a manifestation of the traumas or living conditions of a person. And if you transform this life, you will have a great chance of making this disease disappear. The problem with our society is that it offers very little that favors healing and a lot of things that destroy it. This culture eradicates authenticity. And this path to fullness is not supported by ambient culture. In fact, it is even destroyed by it. And so we have to borrow it ourselves. The problem is that we are in imbalance. Now this imbalance affects some people more than others. But it affects everyone. No layer of society escapes tension. And the points on which we are in imbalance are generally the points where our needs as humans rest. You see, children have four fundamental needs. First, the need to be strongly attached to adults who take care of them. And who, by the way, are most of the time with them. Because during our evolution as humans for millions of years, and during the greatest period of our species, of our existence as Homo Sapiens, we have lived in small communities where parents and children were closely in contact. Then the children should not have to work for their relationship with their parents to work. They should be able to rest in complete safety. On the fact that they can do nothing to destroy their relationship. And that they also have nothing to do for it to work. Except that in our society, we make our children work for them to be accepted. They must be good, they must be smart, beautiful, behave in an acceptable way. Otherwise they will be excluded. And we will tell them, no, you can't be with us. We will deprive you of our contact for a while. Jordan Peterson, Canadian psychologist, says that an angry child should sit alone in his corner until he returns to normal. In other words, it is not normal for a child to be angry. Well, I mean, it is quite normal for a two-year-old child to get angry because he feels frustrated. But now if you say to this two-year-old child, I do not accept you when you are angry. Well, basically what you tell him is, do not be yourself. Delete what you are to be accepted. Many children in this society receive the message that love is in fact conditional. Today we tell parents not to take care of their baby when he cries. We tell them, yes, they have to learn to handle themselves without their parents. Now go tell a blond mother not to take care of her baby when he cries. Go tell a cat mother to ignore the meowing of her baby. You know, children need to be able to fully feel all their emotions. And to know that this will be accepted by their parents. Except that we say to parents, no, the anger of your children is not acceptable. And suddenly the children understand that they are not acceptable. That they have to work to be acceptable. That they have to delete themselves to be accepted. Then the children need to play freely in nature. To play freely. And not with gadgets. Not with cell phones. Not with games on the Internet. But to play freely in nature. These are our essential needs as human beings. But what is the message here? The message is that the disease is a manifestation of the traumas or living conditions of a person. And if you transform this life, you will have a good chance of making this disease disappear. Okay. So the first step is to recognize that although we have a certain conception of trauma. We have all lived, at a certain level, a version of trauma. Which has cemented certain behavioral models, adaptation strategies and defense mechanisms. Which dictates our perception of the world as well as our behavior in the world. And for many of us, if not the majority, live the rest of their lives without ever really worrying. Or without trying to understand why it is so. And try to find a healthier adaptation strategy. And unless we go through a crisis that puts our life in danger. And that forces us to do this kind of inner work. Now, of course, we still have the choice. But it's much more difficult when we don't suffer. And of course, it's the same thing for addictions. So how do we do, for example, if someone listens to this and says to themselves. Wow, I never thought I could take control of this kind of thing. How could I start doing it? We don't need to wait for the disease to solve our problems. I often quote Eschil, the Greek playwright. Who said that the gods created us so that we, human beings, had to suffer to access the truth. And that's often how things happen. I mean, I went through my own trials. I had my own mental health problems. I went through a depression. Relationship problems. A failing marriage. And unfortunately for most of us, until things go wrong. We don't really have to do anything. We take life as it is. And we think everything is fine. But we don't need to wait for a serious disease like plaque sclerosis. Rheumatoid arthritis. A serious mental health crisis or a severe addiction hits us. To be able to wake up and recognize that, yeah. There are things to do. We don't need to get to the point where we are forced to say to ourselves. Yeah, this happened to me. And it affects the way I lead my relationship. How I behave in my marriage. How I behave with my friends. How I present myself at work. And whether I'm addicted or not to work. Whether I have an addiction or not. Whether it's sex, pornography, games, substances. Buying, feeding. All these elements represent a kind of traumatic imprint. And I can face it. I can choose to learn to face it now. So that it doesn't get worse in the future. It is absolutely not necessary for bad consequences to manifest. Yes, and I think that an honest and in-depth inventory can turn out to be more than revealing. Doing a little self-analysis of things that bother us. You know, he's used to seeing people who say. I have to lose weight. I have to try this diet. Or I'm going to start a meditation practice. Or I'm going to start a workout routine. I'm going to do a 30-day digital detox. Or, but most often, you can succeed in these temporary activities. But after that, you quickly fall back to the starting box. And it's very discouraging for most people. But I think it illustrates how deeply these patterns are anchored in us. Of course, there are a number of things we can do. Buddha spoke of the power of our habits. And how much they are rooted in us. So, first of all, of course, we can change our behavior for a while. But if we don't take care of the underlying roots. These behaviors will be reaffirmed. Number one. Number two. It's not that discouraging. In fact, I have already written my own epitaph. And it was a lot more work than I had planned. But you know what? What is the alternative? The alternative is to plant. To rot and stay stuck in our old patterns. The problem with our society. Is that it offers very few things that favor healing. And a lot of things that destroy it. This culture eradicates authenticity. And this path to fullness is not supported by ambient culture. In fact, it is even destroyed by it. And so we have to take it on ourselves.