Strange Facts That You Didn't Know About Henry VIII

Henry VIII might have been known as a bad husband with a hot temper who straight beheaded a couple of his wives. But he was also a surprisingly talented musician and was an animal lover. Henry was a complicated man. Today, we're going to talk about some strange facts that you didn't know about Henry VIII. But before we dive head first, be sure to subscribe to Weird History. Now, second verse, same as the first. I'm Henry VIII. I am. Henry VIII kept a tight circle of royal servants. But none were closer to the man than his groom of the stool, whose duties included taking care of all those royal duties. Servants who wished to be the physically closest to Henry coveted this highly sought after position, granted to only four people in Henry's entire reign. Not only did they help dress and undress the king before and after his royal toilet business, they also controlled access to the monarch and even some of his finances. They even managed to have power over a stamp of the king's signature, a powerful financial tool. Though an athletic and svelte man in his earlier CrossFit days, once he hit 40, our big, beefy boy really let himself go. He chunked out so much, weighing an estimated 400 pounds, he could no longer get on his horse without the aid of a crane. A crane was used to hoist Henry up and drop him into his warhorse's saddle. Some scholars believed he required the use of an early version of the wheelchair to get around. It's reported his waist had ballooned over 50 inches, or the same number of horses who were probably immediately crushed upon drawing the short straw of Henry's warhorse. For longer than comfortable for most kings, Henry didn't have a legitimate male heir. And in his panic for one, came up with a disturbing backup plan. Though he had no son with his first wife, Catherine of Aragon, he had an illegitimate son by his mistress, Elizabeth Bessie Blount, or a real John Snow Game of Thrones situation. Henry Fitzroy, or old timey for son of the king, was named Duke of Richmond and Somerset. Henry Fitzroy was there to ensure the country didn't descend into war again over Henry VIII's lack of producing a son with his wife. But Henry VIII wanted to resolve this whole thing by making the bastard Fitzroy the next monarch with the boy's half-sister, Mary, as his wife. This gross sister-brother marriage got the green light from the pope, who I guess had a say in matters like these and failed to come up with the correct conclusion of, nah, that's gross. Fortunately for mankind, Fitzroy married a different, non-related woman, possibly rushing into marriage to avoid marrying his sister. Classic Fitzroy. Henry Fitzroy died at the young age of 17, leaving the door open for Henry's legitimate kids to take the throne, and his sister free and clear to marry not her brother. Henry VIII had a famous temper, which is a kind way to say he was a man who enjoyed a good murder, including his wives and close friends, leaving many to ponder, what was up with that? Well, what was up with that was probably mental illness that resulted in the bloody slaughter of a bunch of people. Some theories suggested it was the pleasant combination of syphilis and brain injuries that might have led to his being straight crazy. But with hindsight, it could have been psychiatric conditions inherited from his family. His paternal great-grandmother, Catherine of Valois, Princess of France, was the daughter of famous mentally ill King Charles VI. Her family's mental health conditions were probably passed down through the generations to multiple British monarchs, from Henry VIII to George III and so forth. So don't blame Henry. He was born this way. Considering Henry VIII was a famously tyrannical man, it might surprise you to learn he was a huge animal lover, especially horses. Yes, Henry was a big horse boy, and our delicate fancy man proved to be surprisingly nimble on the horse, galloping through the English countryside with the best mounted knights in his kingdom. Kings, they really are just like us. His key contribution to the equestrian scene at the time was bringing the Italian sport of dressage to England. Dressage, for those unfamiliar, is the ancient sport of horse training, where the goal of the sport appears to be show complete control and dominance over the horse's movement. Henry excelled at this sport, specializing in capriole, or giant leaps, making his poor horsies jump super high in the air as if it were flying. Of course, the horse wasn't flying with Henry's aforementioned weight issues. We hate to keep dunking on the guy, but a poet Henry was not. When courting his eventual second wife, Anne Boleyn, Henry penned her a bunch of love letters, playing it very uncool and coming across as very thirsty at his anguish over her coyness. This correspondence, which still exists, is just a touch on the sappy side. My mistress and friend, Henry regrettably opens with, I and my heart put ourselves in your hands, begging you to have them suitors for your good favor. Bleh, barf. In a separate, less safe for work letter, Henry writes, wishing myself, especially an evening, in my sweetheart's arms, whose duckies I trust shortly to kiss. If you were thinking that duckies was a reference to Anne's boobs, you'd be correct. Henry basically drunk texted Anne, asking, you up? Hard to believe it'd be him lopping off her head with correspondence as romantic as this. Henry VIII wasn't a complete monster. In a way, he was a real Bernie Sanders of his time, ushering in a revolution in the health care industry of England and bringing the country into the Renaissance. As the founder of the Royal College of Physicians, he passed seven different laws to regulate the practice of medicine and licensing of physicians, laws that didn't have to be changed for 300 years. So Henry knew what he was doing. In 1540, Henry went further, pushing for one of the earliest laws to regulate drug pricing to keep apothecaries in check to assure they weren't gouging their clientele. Under his reign, London saw vast improvements of the sewer system due to an increase of supervision, thanks to his chancellor and, yes, future murder victim, Sir Thomas More, who was crowned the commissioner of the sewer. As commissioner sewer, More aided in the overall health of the country by making the water what it barely was before, drinkable. Way to get ahead in this world, Sir Thomas. If you should find yourself on a walk around London's famous Hyde or St. James Park, be sure to whisper a thank you to Henry VIII as you take in the lush greenery. During his reign, the king bought thousands of acres of green space for his personal use while chilling at his country estates. With this land, Henry went riding, hunting, and even enjoyed the occasional outdoor picnic, like a contestant on The Bachelor. Today, Henry's original recreational land for gallops and giggles still exists, thanks to Henry, at St. James, Hyde, Regents, and Green Parks, as part of his empire of pastoral spots. He could be seen from spring to early fall trotting around the country to check on his realm, but really just to hunt and play on his estates. As mentioned earlier, Henry's lineage could be described as dicey at best. The only illegitimate son he recognized was Henry Fitzroy, who died at age 17 without issue or having to marry his sister. All three of his legitimate children, Edward VI, Mary I, and Elizabeth I, would go on to rule England. However, none of them would produce an heir. Henry didn't have any confirmed descendants survive past the year 1601, the year Elizabeth would pass, and is 100% not the ancestor of any royals today. Queen Elizabeth II is descended from Mary Boleyn, sister of Anne and mistress of Henry VIII. Mary's two children from her first marriage were most likely not fathered from Henry, despite what fictional Natalie Portman starring movie The Other Boleyn Girl would have you believe, assuming you're one of the four people who remember that was a movie. Henry doesn't factor into the modern day British royal pedigree at all. He only lives on in our hearts, which is nice for him. But memories can't serve as a British monarch. As the king who split from Rome and brought the Anglican faith to England, Henry was famously anti-pope. Though it might come as a shock to learn when he was younger, Henry was a staunch supporter of Catholicism. Pope Leo X was so enamored with Henry's unflinching support of the papacy, he granted the English monarch the title of Defensor Fidei, or Defender of the Faith, a title that hilariously the rulers of England still have to this day, despite King Henry's later uncoupling of England and the Catholic Church. He sent tin from Cornwall to adorn the roof of Pope Julius II's new crib. He was even allegedly intended for the church himself before his brother died. Henry wasn't just a supportive participant in the Renaissance era music scene. He was a little something of a musician himself. In fact, our dude was the total singer-songwriter package. He could write music, sing a lovely tenor, and could even sight read. He didn't box himself into strictly solo performances, though. Our man was known to not turn down a duet or two with friends. Just like the worst guy at a house party, Henry had a wide collection of musical instruments that boasted an impressive collection that included 154 recorders and 19 viols, each adorned with precious metals. 154 recorders? Feels like one too many. Was he providing the musical instruments for an entire elementary school's music classes? A big lute guy himself, Henry was also known to play the virginals, which is some kind of harpsichord. It is rumored that he even wrote the banger Greensleeves as a young boy, a song that didn't hit the Billboard charts or its equivalency until after his passing. So probably just a story he told people, like having a girlfriend who goes to a different school. Henry famously had an older brother and the first husband of Henry's first wife, who died young. But he also had two royal sisters, who were royal pains in his ass. His older sister, Margaret, was a real firecracker, just like her temperamental brother. So much so she was shipped away to Scotland at the normally problematic age of 13. She managed to produce an heir, the future James V. But her playboy husband didn't live very long after. Having now become accustomed to a certain type of lifestyle, she looked to her loving brother, Henry, to bankroll her luxe tendencies, which he didn't love. Maggie battled it out with the Scottish nobles over the right to serve as her son's regent. But eventually, she fell in love and married the Earl of Angus, another Scottish noble. Henry's other sister, Mary, was no stranger to boy problems as well, having equally problematic marriage issues as her older sister, Maggie. Henry married her off to old man King Louis XII of France. But he, kind of predictably, passed away fairly quickly into the marriage. Before she was betrothed to Louis, she made a deal with Henry. If her first husband should pass away, she could marry the man of her choosing. Big mistake, Henry, huge. She married his friend, Charles Brandon, a commoner nobody. Bros before hoes, Charlie, bros before hoes. Henry was furious she would marry somebody without his permission or approval since he had no intention of keeping his end of the deal and now couldn't use marriage to his younger sister as leverage for himself. But in the end, love won as Mary and Charlie stayed married until her passing, no thanks to her unsupportive brother. Maybe we don't let that guy arrange any more marriages. He's 0 for 2 and not very good at it. Never confused for a humble man, King Henry VIII was the first English king to adopt the title majesty. Henry figured the traditional titles of grace or highness, fairly egomaniacal titles in their own right, weren't good enough for him as the king who reigned by the grace of God. He considered himself a royal cult with the king as the divine leader of the country and adopted the title of majesty because divine cult leader Henry VIII was quite a mouthful. By 1520, foreign ambassadors were addressing the King of England as your majesty. Majesty carried additional regal connotations deriving from the Latin word majestas, evocative of magnificence and near divine glory hearkening back to ancient ages. A beautiful and complicated word that today is used mainly by people in sarcastic tones at cars who cut them off in traffic. Sure, we've learned a lot of deeply unsettling things about Henry VIII today. On top of the many horrible things we already kind of knew about him. But now we come to the most likable and relatable quality Henry possessed. Henry was a dog person. That's right. Like many kings of this era and current single men, he had a plethora of pets. But the dogs were the real stars of the show. Henry adored his dogs, including greyhounds and beagles who he would dress up in velvet collars and little tiny silk coats. To discourage them from biting humans, he kept the dogs strictly un-keto, feeding them a vegetarian diet of bread and not meat. He was even known to shell out a pretty penny to anyone who brought back his beloved meatball and Beatrice, if ever lost. Those are names we've chosen to give his dogs and not historically accurate. To show his friendship during a time of war, Henry gifted Holy Roman Emperor and nephew of his first wife Catherine, Charles V, 400 dogs trained to attack enemies. Yeah, there were dog armies in 16th century Europe. But that's for another Weird History. So what do you think about Henry VIII? Let us know in the comments below. And while you're at it, check out some of these other videos from our Weird History.