Teaching Children This Skill (No Matter Their Age) Can Make a Difference For The Rest Of Their Lives

Because a lot of times when I speak to teachers that work with the early childhood or the elementary, first grade, third grade, sixth grade, something like that, they ask me things like this, DJ, how much of a difference can I really make? I have them while they're four. DJ, how much of a difference can I really make? I have them while they're seven. And my answer to them is, you are the difference. Let me tell you why. For whatever reason, when somebody comes to your house, they never ask the most important question. They want to know what size TV you got. Is your refrigerator stainless steel? Who is that on that picture? Nobody asks the most important question, which is, how strong is the foundation? Don't miss that. Don't miss that. Because see, nothing else matters in a house if the foundation is not strong. So the next time if you're dealing with four-year-olds, three-year-olds, six-year-olds, and you're asking, how much of a difference am I making? Understand that you are the foundation. And now I wish, I wish I had a teacher who came and put these skills for me on play while I was three years old, while I was six years old. Because a lot of trouble I got into, I believe I wouldn't have. Because see, what I would have learned was a pause button. See, a pause button gives me options. That's why it's important that you teach self-regulation right now as they're being three years old. Not just for a while they're three years old, but because it follows them for the rest of their lives. Because now when situations present itself that they learn how to self-regulate, because they learn how to self-regulate at three, when something presents itself at six, they know how to handle it. Prime example, eighth grade, my eighth grade year, I got a call. DJ, what's up with it, bro? You going to the party? Yeah, I'm going to the party. You know I'm going to the party, bro. All right, man. What time you want to meet over there? Hey, bro, we're going to meet up about eight o'clock, nine o'clock. We'll meet up at the spot. Now, I want y'all to understand this time, this was before my journey. I was on a negative journey at this time. This is when I was in the streets, indulging with games. And the reason I'm sharing all this is because I want you to understand just how one teacher can change all that through connection. Phone rang. DJ, you're running a little late, bro. Where you at? You coming? I had to stop at a store and get me an all-white shirt. Some of y'all going to know about that white t-shirt from the corner store, some of y'all not. But for the ones who do know about that white t-shirt from the corner store, that's what I'm talking about. All right. I had to stop and get me a white t-shirt, all-white t-shirt. I got my all-white t-shirt on, snapback, fresh pair of jeans, fresh pair of jeans. Oh, I'm crispy. I'm clean, can't tell me nothing. Look, I get to the party. Where I'm from, we can't have parties on the front. We got to have parties in the back. No such thing as a block party. All parties got to take place in the backyard somewhere. So I get the, of course, like I said, I'm doing what I'm doing. So I always find me a wall to put my back on. And I used to share this story with students. But after I shared it with students one time, my teacher came up to me. She said, teachers need to hear this so they can know the importance of why this is important. Let me get you up. I put my back on the wall. This dude come by. He's not really paying attention to where he's going. He got a cup in his hand. He doesn't do, he come out dancing, doing his little dance. He doesn't spill his cup on my shirt. Yeah, on my white t-shirt. Now see, this is where you teaching me how to self-regulate while I'm three, it's very big. Please don't miss this. This is where you teaching me how to self-regulate while I'm five, it's very big. Because see, if those type of skills would have been put on play while three at this moment, instead of reacting, I would have took a deep breath. Now see, now that I take a deep breath, I have now given myself options. Don't miss it. That's why it is so important. This is what, this is what the title says, it said composure saved my life. Not just because my teacher had composure, but because I learned it. At that moment, I could have took a deep breath. This is my thought process now. DJ, hey say bro, you just paid five dollars for this shirt. Come on now, get you another one, five dollars. All right, take a deep breath. DJ, that was an accident. You didn't come pull this on your shirt, just to come pull it on your shirt. That was an accident. You didn't do that on purpose. DJ, think about the consequence that could happen. But see, you'll be surprised at how many students only had what I had, which is action, reaction, action, reaction. Nobody has ever taught them the importance of pause, think about it, take your breath, and analyze the situation. So because I didn't have that, I reacted and I got physical with him. Well, like I said, at this time, I was in doors and in gangs, I wasn't there by myself, he wasn't there by himself, and a fight break out. Well, in the process of the fight breakout, gunshots rang out. People scatter, of course, police come, everybody come. I make it back to my house, people calling my phone. DJ, you all right? You all right? Yeah, I'm good, bro. I'm good. Hey, you checked on so-and-so? You checked on so-and-so? Yeah, I'm finna call him. Hey, y'all all right? Everybody good, all right. About 15 minutes went by, my phone rang. They said, DJ, guess what? I'm like, what's up? They said, guess what? Said, a little girl got shot. I said, a little girl got shot? They said, yeah, bro. One of the bullets, straight bullet hit one of the little girls that was out there. So I want you to ask yourself, how important is it to teach self-regulation? How important is it to teach pause? How important is it to teach composure? Because, you know, the way I look at it, that if everybody in this room began to teach that right at three years old, we'll have less of things like this happening. And you gotta bear with me, because sometimes I get emotional about it, because she didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve that. She was just there to have a good time. She wasn't fighting. She wasn't in the game. Isn't it crazy how it seems like the drunk driver always survived? That's crazy. She didn't deserve that. That's once again, that's why I'm telling you, if you ever question or ever wonder how important is it to teach self-regulation, it's that important, which is why I'm so grateful that Dr. Bailey put it in words for us. Now all we gotta do is embrace it and make it who we are, not something that we do, who we are.