4 Things Parents Should Say to Their Teens Every Day (99% of Parents Don’t Say These Things!)

Do you want your teens to be motivated, confident, resilient and respectful? If so, there are some things you should say to them every day. If you do this, it's more likely that your teens will grow up feeling secure and self-confident. That's the foundation of long-term success and happiness. Keep in mind that the approach that works best when communicating with your teens is this. Don't say what you feel like saying. Say what your teens need to hear. I have three children myself. So as a parent, I know how tempting it can be to say whatever you feel like saying to your children, especially if you're annoyed or frustrated by their attitude or behaviour. But the key is to exercise self-control and say what your teens need to hear, which will cause them to feel understood and motivated to improve. So here's the first thing I encourage you to say to your teens. Go for it. Of course, if your teenagers are about to do something dangerous or unethical, you shouldn't tell them to go for it. But when they're faced with a challenge, they need your encouragement. Parents tend to be too cautious. As a parent, I know how tempting it can be to always encourage my children to do what is safe. But the goal of parenting isn't to shelter our children or to provide them with an easy life. It's to prepare them for adulthood, where they won't just survive, they'll thrive. Adulthood is full of challenges, so your teenagers need all the practice they can get in taking on challenges and developing perseverance. That's why it's important for you to tell them to go for it. You can also say other related things to your teenagers like, I believe in you, and I know you can do it. I'm Daniel Wong, and I specialize in helping teens to thrive. Here's the second thing to say to your teenagers daily. I'm here for you. As your teens get older, they'll want more independence. They'll want the freedom to make choices and to chart their own course. So allow your teens to make as many of their own choices as possible. After all, they're going to be adults soon. They'll appreciate you sharing your point of view as long as you make it clear that the final decision is theirs. Don't coerce or force your teens to follow your advice or do things your way. The exception to this would be if they're about to do something that will endanger them or others. By saying I'm here for you, your teens will know you're there to help if the going gets too tough. Make it clear that you're ready to give them the support they need, but only if they want it. Number 3. How did you do that? At some point, your teenagers will know more about certain things than you. They might already know more than you about things like social media, music, and climate change. Many parents act as if they know more than their teenagers in every area. When their teenagers bring up almost any topic, these parents cut them off, jump to conclusions, or cast judgment. Soon enough, these teenagers stop communicating openly with their parents. These teenagers start thinking to themselves, why should I talk to my parents when they don't actually listen to what I have to say? So if your teenagers know more about something than you, I encourage you to say something like, that's interesting, tell me more. And if you see your teenagers doing something you're not able to, why not ask them, how did you do that? One time, I was waiting to get a haircut when I saw a 14-year-old boy playing with a Rubik's Cube. He solved the Rubik's Cube in less than 15 seconds. I was impressed. The boy's mom was sitting next to him. She remarked, wow, will you show me how you did that? The boy grinned with pride and he explained step by step to his mom how to solve a Rubik's Cube. When you take a genuine interest in your teenagers' hobbies, they'll feel valued and respected. This is vital for a healthy parent-teen relationship. If you're finding this video helpful so far, please click the like button. And please subscribe to my YouTube channel so you don't miss out on future videos about helping teens to thrive. Number 4. I love you. This is an obvious but vital one. Your teens need to know that you love and accept them unconditionally. You might feel awkward about saying I love you to your teens, especially if it isn't part of your family culture. If you can't bring yourself to say it in person, you can send your teens a text or write them a note to say I love you. Here are a few other related things you can say to your teens. I'm grateful for you. You're important to me. It's a joy to be your parent. I've spent many thousands of hours coaching teens one-on-one. Many of my coaching clients confess to me that they feel as if their parents love them more when they perform well in school or in their other activities. In extreme cases, these teens believe that they'll never be good enough. This causes them to be unmotivated and to display other behavioral problems. The solution is to remind your teens frequently that you love them no matter what. Now you know the 4 things you should say to your teens every day. I have a quick question though. Does your teen sometimes lack motivation? If so, I have something just for you. It's this free ebook I've written, entitled 16 Keys to Motivating Your Teenager. Visit daniel-wong.com to download the ebook today. I've also included the download link in the description below. And here's this other video I've created about the things great parents do to bring out the best in their teens. In the video, you'll learn the 15 things to do if you want your teens to make the most of their potential. You'll find this video useful, so watch it next.