"Signs Of A High Value Man (A Woman's Perspective)"

Hi everyone! Welcome back to my channel. If you're new here, I'm Courtney Ryan and today we're going to be reacting to a TikTok of signs of a high value man or high quality man, whatever you want to say. So she has a list here. I'm going to stop and talk about each one as she goes through it. I did that in the past with the list and you guys seem to like that a little bit more than watching the whole thing and then waiting until the end to talk about it. So I'm going to go through each one and share my thoughts and or elaborate on what she says. So let's give it a watch. We're back on the phone for the reactions because I moved my desk out of here. So we'll see how this goes. These are signs of a high value man and what to look for when you're in the dating field. Okay. Dinner dates. I think that if you're talking to somebody and they ask you on a date, it is most appropriate to invite you to a dinner. I don't love just grabbing drinks or coffee for a first date because I don't even think it gives people the right space and time to get to know each other and I also feel like if you have chemistry and you've met before in person, then invite her on a date. Coffee and a walk is just not a great first date. You know, let's keep in mind that we have to leave a little bit of room for nuance here. I'm going to say that now to start so that I don't have to say it throughout the entire video. Not every girl prefers a dinner date. Some girls like something a little bit more casual. You know, we all kind of have different preferences and that doesn't automatically mean someone is low value based on where they take you for a date. So just to offer a different perspective here, I think this really comes down to personal preference. I'm sure a lot of girls agree with her. I'm sure a lot of girls don't. Some girls really like a coffee date or an ice cream date or something a little bit more casual whereas some girls might like a fancy dinner date and I think it's really more important to make sure that you're aligned with the person that you're going out with. I'm sure there are a lot of men out there who take women on dinner dates and are not great men. After your dinner date, they should be following up with you the next day. I think a gentleman is going to check up on you and it could just be a simple hi, I had so much fun last night, look forward to seeing you again. It doesn't need to turn into like an endless texting banter because I don't think that's appropriate right off the bat either. I think it's always nice to ease into things. But a follow-up text the next morning, make sure you got home okay, that's all good stuff. Yes, depending on the time of your date, I think following up the night of or the morning after is 100% what you should be doing. This whole waiting three days thing to contact her, play mind games tactic that people tell you to do online is beyond immature. I think a man who is confident and secure in himself and who knows what he wants will reach out following the date and you know express interest and say that he had a good time. If you send a text the same day as your date, you could say, hey I had a really nice time, let me know when you make it home or hope you made it home okay. Something short and sweet that's going to get a response from her and again you don't have to be texting all the time. I don't think it's necessarily the best to be texting 24 7 but just again reiterating that you had a nice time. That way she's not sitting there guessing or trying to wonder how you feel about her or how you think the date went. I think direct communication and really being open about how you're feeling, again not writing an entire paragraph or confessing your love to someone after a first date, okay that's not what I'm telling you to do. Keep it short and sweet but if you had a good time tell her that. Tell her that you hope she made it home and that's all. You're going to look like a gentleman, going to look like a man who can effectively communicate which is a win in a sea of so many people who cannot effectively communicate. If you do effectively communicate this is just chef's kiss. I'll also say on my first date with my husband we did like a brunch date that turned into an all-day date but he texted me the night of our date and said I had a really nice time, looking forward to seeing you again, let me know when you make it home. Love. We love a man who is secure and who is confident and who tells you what he's thinking, right? And I will tell you right now if he would have waited three days to text me I would have said this guy's an f-boy and I want nothing to do with him. So there you go. Okay, next. Agreed with that one. Very good commentary. This also goes hand in hand with slow and steady. Love bombing, being obsessive, trying to soak up every second of your time the second you start seeing each other, not a good sign. But I think one date once a week and then eventually it goes till twice a week, it's, you know, you're going to get to know each other slowly over the course of like six to eight weeks before you can like have a conversation about progressing it to something more serious. In just my opinion, I know every situation is different. Yes, yes, and yes. Slow and steady wins the race. There's no need to rush. All this does is make you look emotionally immature or desperate or like a love bomber, okay? The pacing is going to vary from person to person so I wouldn't necessarily get so fixated on a specific timeline here but I would make sure that you're more focused on getting to know them over time and seeing true compatibility versus rushing into it out of a scarcity mindset or true desperation. A lot of you guys ask me about a timeline and I don't necessarily think there is a set in stone timeline that's going to be applicable to every single person. It's going to vary from relationship to relationship, from person to person and I think that's okay. I think the more important thing is to take it slow and again steady and just get to know each other and see where it goes versus being so concerned with the outcome because you feel like you need a sense of control over the situation and again that often stems from a scarcity mindset, feelings of desperation and clinginess which never come across in a positive way. So yes, slow and steady wins the race and I will also say this, again I know this is my personal experience, this is not a universal experience, this is just an observation I've made from my own experiences, the people around me's experiences, hearing from many of you, being a relationship advisor to so many people in my life who text me and as for my opinion, all of the couples I have known personally, again I know this might not apply to everyone, this is just my observation, all of the couples I have known personally who rushed things have gone up in flames but I think with something that is such a big decision like the person you end up with, the person you marry, it is really important to be logical and thoughtful and understand that this is the most important decision you'll ever make in your life and rushing it is not the answer. There are people in the world who you know, they're married after months and it works out for them and that's great, that's pretty rare. So again, just an observation I made, the best couples I know are ones who took it slow and steady, that's all I'll say. You meet this person way before the first date even occurs, he's going to approach you confidently, maybe have a light sense of humor, offer you a compliment and grab your number, ideally you guys could have a conversation, you can figure out if you have a good banter or not before going on that first date. I actually think dating apps can be a great way to meet people too but I think the old-fashioned classic way the guy comes up to you, it's a great way to see his confidence and personality. Okay yeah, this is another one that's really going to depend on your situation and how you're meeting someone, you know some of you are meeting online, some of you are meeting in person, so again this is going to vary, everyone's different, you know sometimes people are a little bit more introverted or shy and it doesn't automatically mean that they're low value, they might just approach things a bit of a different way, you know different dynamics work for different people but it is obviously helpful if you're able to be confident and absolutely respectful, there is absolutely no question about the respectful part, if someone's approaching you in public they should 100% be respectful, if someone's not respectful they're not high value to me personally, maybe you have a different opinion but me, I value respect, you know a lot of guys are hesitant to approach now because of all these videos that have blown up online of women roasting men or blasting men who give them a compliment or approach them and so a lot of guys are becoming a little bit more hesitant as women speak out about the fact that they don't necessarily like to be approached, of course some girls do like to be approached but there are a lot of women now who don't so it's kind of just a risk you take when you approach a woman, is she one that likes it, is she one that doesn't, we don't know, I mean sometimes there are absolutely social cues and little hints that she might give you but women don't really resort to direct communication the way that men do, we are more of indirect communicators and will you know smile at you and look your way and you know it looks like we're maybe just being nice but a lot of times when women do that they're actually signaling that they want you to approach them or interest whatever, I've done videos about this where I've explained it much further so I'll link those below for you, all about approaching, how to approach without being creepy and things like that but again some men are hesitant to approach and I understand that as well after hearing from so many of you and after seeing some of the just hot mess express videos that I've seen online, but yeah I think if you are someone who is going to approach you've got to be confident about it because if you approach and you're very timid or skittish or you look really nervous it's probably going to freak her out so if you are someone who is going to approach you've got to put on your confident pants and you've got to go in there like you own the place, so that I do agree with, okay next he takes you out to dinner, I hope that it's a nice restaurant and I hope that he wears dress shoes, I just don't think that a guy should be wearing sneakers no matter how cool the sneakers are to a nice restaurant, this one feels oddly specific so I'll just broaden it a bit and say someone who dresses appropriately for the occasion, someone who understands that there's a time and a place, you know I think this shows a bit of a social element and a self-awareness which is obviously a good sign, I think it's really important to make a good first impression and put your best foot forward and if someone is not even willing to do that on a first date that's a signal to me that they don't put in effort and they don't care, which is not necessarily a great thing again that's just based off a first impression, whether they're right or wrong in thinking that is a different story but that's the impression that you give off when you show up like you look like you don't care, so if you care about something show that you care, I think this is important and again it shows a social element and an understanding and a self-awareness that is valuable, next, and that is a great listener he's going to recount small details that you had mentioned to him in the past and bring them up again and even like make it an inside joke make things make things very flirty, yes and I love the way that she explained this one, I think this demonstrates that you're a good listener a good listener is a sign that you can communicate effectively which is such a positive characteristic, I think also being able to turn what appears to be a small detail into something flirty or an inside joke is so attractive it is such a flex, women love this I think if you're someone who's able to do that that's obviously a very positive attractive thing and again people have different communication styles I think you know we want to leave a little bit of room for the human experience but I can't argue that this is incredibly attractive when guys are able to do this and someone who remembers small details it just makes you feel special it just makes you feel like someone was actually listening to you and it shows that you care which is obviously a really great thing taking on the date he should be the one to pick the restaurant and he can ask you oh do you like mediterranean food do you like sushi and then he's just going to send you the time in the restaurant yep take initiative and be a man with a plan as I always say now if she's going to gripe and complain about the restaurant that you chose that's her problem okay but I do think just taking the initiative showing that you're a leader and just putting an effort here really goes a long way you know you could ask her her favorite type of food if she says oh my favorite is italian you're like oh my gosh we have to go to this italian place it's the best in the city or something like that and then you say how does six o'clock on friday sound I can make a reservation so sexy when a man takes initiative gets it done again man with a plan can't go wrong confident men are high quality men after you guys are done dinner on that first date hopefully he could offer you to drop you off in an uber or you part ways but there is absolutely zero pressure for intimacy I don't care if you're on date number five or six there should never be this pressure that you owe this person something just because you gave them quality company over dinner I really think that it the ball should be in the female's court when that step is ready I mean kiss dadada he can invite you over for a drink but if you say no it's no there's no more further questions asked yeah guys I agree with this I just don't think pressuring intimacy or guilt tripping someone into that is something that a high quality man does you can absolutely want intimacy okay it's normal as a man for you to want to be intimate with a woman and to be attracted to a woman and you know that's a biological thing right I'm not telling you not to feel that way but I think the way that you handle that and the way that you approach it can speak volumes of your character as an individual I want to pull back a little bit and also mention this because I think this is something that people don't talk about that much is that you don't really owe someone anything on a first date right you're just getting to know them and seeing if you're compatible and seeing if there's a connection there you don't owe them a date at a five-star restaurant you don't owe them paying the bill even you don't owe them paying for their uber home or you know buying them something specific the same way that a woman doesn't owe you intimacy because you did those things I think expecting something in return when you give something is not great when it comes to a relationship I think it often becomes really transactional and a relationship where people are keeping score and you know counting tally marks of all the things they do for someone and it can really lead to resentment and I think it's important to just go in with no expectations obviously have standards you know that reflect what you're looking for in a partner and you know do your values align are your morals aligned life goals contributions to the world things like that but nobody should be expecting or feeling owed anything you know you should be doing things out of wanting to do them and being genuinely kind rather than only doing something to get something in return pressuring intimacy or guilt tripping and genuinely I think especially for women there's no point in having intimacy with a partner before you have a deeper connection because it's just a lot harder for us to feel pleasure to that level until there's a deeper connection need yep and again slow and steady wins the race here I've made it abundantly clear on my channel that I do not support hookup culture or find it to be beneficial for women in any way I think it only benefits men if I'm being totally honest and even then I don't think it's a great thing for men to be sleeping with a ton of people that they aren't in a committed relationship with that's just my thought maybe I'm old-fashioned that's the approach that I've always taken in my life and it has worked out very well for me you know if you've been around for a while you already know how I feel about this I don't think that hookup culture and sleeping with men on the first date or before you're exclusive or committed or whatever benefits you at all as a woman you know to each their own that's just my opinion but I would never recommend being intimate with someone before you are in a committed relationship personally so you know when you have a connection with somebody because you will feel it the banter will be flirty light-hearted there will never be really these intense lulls in conversation he's going to make you excited to see him for the following date you will know a high quality man yeah of course it should be fun you should be enjoying yourself I think this one is more about are we compatible versus is this person high value you know whether you're compatible or not doesn't necessarily mean someone is high value or they're not people can be great people and just not be great for you I think the water got a little murky with the explanation here for this one so I'll just say this think of a guy is able to create a light-hearted and fun atmosphere and have a sense of humor that is absolutely a positive quality about him and would signal to me that he is a um but again keep in mind I want to make sure we understand the difference between am I compatible with this person and a high quality man when we're talking about high quality or high value I think we often judge this based off of our own values and what we are looking for in a partner um but someone can be high value and just not be compatible with you and I think that's important to note as well high value will look different to different people depending on what their values are and what they're looking for so I just think that's an important note to make is opening doors for you pulling out your chair helping you put your jacket on he's not missing out on opportunity to show you how polite he is yes and all of these things make you stand out amongst a ton of men who don't do this unpopular opinion maybe but I don't think you ever lose by being a gentleman who does kind gestures like this and I firmly stand by that because even if it doesn't work out with this girl even if she doesn't like you you were still a gentleman she can't say anything bad about you because you were kind and you were courteous and you were a gentleman that never goes out of style love bringing flowers isn't necessary but it definitely doesn't hurt if a guy brought me flowers on the first date I would be I would be taken back I think that's so sweet she kind of skipped over the offers genuine compliments point but I think this is such a big one too this also makes you look more attractive in the process because when you give someone a compliment it often makes them feel good and they associate those positive feelings with you now I'm not telling you to lie and to give compliments just to manipulate people okay we want to make sure the compliments we're giving are genuine and true and you mean them not telling you to go out here and lie but yeah someone who gives genuine compliments someone who's kind someone who can provide affirmations instead of criticism all the time is so attractive when you give someone a compliment you're showing that you noticed that you pay attention to detail that you're interested that you're attracted to them it feels good to get a compliment I never hold back a compliment from anyone I think that's such a good rule to live by if someone's wearing a shirt that I like I tell them someone's hair looks good I tell them especially with your partner right the flower point see I'm someone who would love flowers on a first date but I also know that not every woman would react the same way that I do so I kind of have mixed feelings on this because I've seen girls now labeling guys who do this as love bombers so I think it kind of depends on the girl again I would love this on a first date but I know not every girl responds the way that I do and she said she would love it too so I mean I know girls would love this you know if leading up to your first date she talks about how she always has fresh flowers in her house or she loves a specific type of flower showing up to the first date with that flower is so cute it's so thoughtful it shows that again you remembered small details love that so again kind of depends on the girl the lead up to the date I think a safer bet instead of for first time meeting someone would be you know wait till a connection is established for like a second or third date and get her flowers for them but yeah super sweet very thoughtful if you're a guy watching who is in a relationship right now go get the woman in your life some flowers go to Trader Joe's get some flowers they're very affordable there put them in a vase for her and watch her light up like a Christmas tree I know I talk a lot about expecting our partner to be mind readers and how that's not healthy right and the flower situation always gets brought up with that but I think when you can do things unprompted too and just make people feel special it's really sweet even if the flowers were only $5 that's fine you don't have to spend a ton of money now whenever I go to Target I get my husband gum a guy who wants to see you and be with you is not flaky he is not waiting until the day of to make plans with you he is asking you on a Tuesday if you want to get dinner and drinks on Friday yeah I agree a high-quality man in my opinion is not someone who is flaky it's a man with integrity who follows through and his words matches actions be on Thursday he's touching base with you saying look forward to seeing you tomorrow blah blah blah blah I am so glad she said that because the confirmation before the date 100% absolutely do this guys you know whether it's the night before or the day of just send a short text that says hey looking forward to seeing you tomorrow at 6 that's it just something to confirm that you're still going you know I actually saw a video on tik-tok a few months ago of a guy talking about a first date disaster or something where the girl didn't show up and it was because he didn't confirm with her you know if you are talking about plans on a Monday but the plans that you made are not until Friday there's a lot of people now who are just unreliable who flake who cancel who just won't show up who will ghost you and it's so disrespectful just to ease the mind of the other person and make sure that you are showing that you value their time just send a confirmation this is also for you as well because again people are flaky people cancel I just had a girlfriend who the guy confirmed the day of the date and then ghosted her and didn't show up on the date and I could just not believe that yes I think confirming is great it shows that you value her time it shows that you are a man with a plan as I mentioned so many times before it shows that you have integrity it shows that you are punctual it just shows that you care and I think that's always a good thing again you don't need to turn it into a long conversation all it needs to be is a short text it says hey looking forward to seeing you tonight at 5 or tomorrow at 6 or whenever your date is you just don't want to be left wondering what the plan is and worried if this guy is actually gonna be followed through or not let me know if I should make a part 2 and if you guys have any other good tips leave them in the comments below so yeah the confirmation kind of ties into the doesn't leave you wondering what the plan is thing I think this is totally true I think again be a man with a plan this always makes you look good even if the date doesn't go well even if you don't like each other just have the plan overall I thought her list was great I agreed with most of these sometimes the explanations get a little bit murky in terms of what is high quality or high value versus just what are you looking for and what are you compatible with I think that's something important to keep in mind when you're dating you know just because one person finds it valuable doesn't mean the next person will of course there's maybe some common ground we could all agree on I think being a man of integrity being respectful being honest more character traits versus where you're going for the date what he's wearing all that kind of stuff I think that's more universal and can kind of apply to everyone you know someone who is rude and cocky and flaky like I wouldn't consider those things to be high-value maybe you do but I don't but I think there could be some common things that we could all agree on that apply to everyone in terms of what is high quality and what is high value and what is not so you guys can let me know what you think down in the comments let me know some other things that you think make a man high quality what do you think makes a woman high quality or high value I would just love to get a productive conversation going down in the comments again really like this creator I follow her on tik-tok and I think she's a really good role model for women and I think this list that we reacted to just kind of reiterates that so it's always nice to have a refreshing video that we're reacting to rather than something negative or something crazy or toxic I'm just nice to hear a positive logical voice on the internet so let me know what you think if you like this video or find it helpful be sure to give a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when I release new content if you haven't already be sure to follow me over on Instagram at Courtney Christine Ryan I love connecting with all of you guys over on there as well as always thank you all so much for watching and I will see you all next time