Where Are The Good Men?

Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel. I'm Courtney Ryan and today we're going to be reacting to a TikTok. This video is from a creator with the handle Kylie Cosciano. Not totally sure how to pronounce that but we're going to watch it together, reconvene, and I will tell you what I think per usual. So let's get right into it. My favorite men are the men that just work. Like if you're a man, you need to be at work. Where are all the good men? They are at work doing their job, focusing on their job, excelling in their field. Those are the best men because a man who is not happy with his career or where he's at in life are the most evil men you will ever, ever meet. They're the most insecure, evil men. They will ruin your fucking life and they're just not fun to be around. Guys working, career, happy, of course probably wants to excel more, we all do, but like that man is your man. The man that's not happy with where he's at in his career. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. Love you, bye. See you later. Can't, can't chat. Evil is a strong word and while I don't entirely agree with that label specifically, I do think that there is a level of truth to what she's saying even if it's phrased a bit dramatically. Maybe a bit dramatically is a bit of an understatement. I think it's very dramatically stated here in this video, but before you tune me out, before you write a mean comment, please just watch throughout the whole video because as always we're going to break it down and explore the nuances here. I personally think that it is essential to consider multiple perspectives, so let's get right into it. So first of all and most obviously here, I think there's something absolutely admirable about a man who is focused on his career. Someone who works really hard, someone who's driven, takes pride in what he does. I do think a man who is happy and fulfilled within his professional life can often bring a sense of stability and purpose which can then translate into confidence and a really strong presence within a relationship. I do think that it can help relationship satisfaction quite a bit. You know, it makes sense that when a man is content with where he's at in his career, he brings positive energy and reliability which are key elements in any healthy relationship. I think these are things that are really important and also things that women tend to value. I have always admired this about my husband specifically, so I can speak from my own personal experience here as a woman when I say I do think that, you know, a man being fulfilled and happy within his professional life does help out a relationship. I think it brings that reliability and stability and just an overall positive energy to a relationship that women like in men. It just is what it is. My husband loves his job and I do think that it makes our relationship better, just again from my own personal experience. Now with that being said, I think it's also important to offer a broader perspective here. While career satisfaction is certainly a contributing factor to a man's happiness, it is not the sole determinant of his worth or his potential as a significant other. A good amount of people, including men, go through phases of uncertainty or dissatisfaction in their careers and it's just a natural part of life. I've personally been in that situation myself. I know many men and women who have been in that situation, some young, some older in their 20s, some in their 60s, and it's a natural part of life. I think we also have to give a little bit of grace for these sort of exploratory times in our lives. You know, in my very early 20s, I was in college working at Chick-fil-A during the summer, serving during the school year, babysitting, you know, and then I got my first big girl job after college and it was entirely disappointing. I was miserable to be honest. Transitioned to a different role within the company doing something more creative and I definitely liked that a lot more, but it wasn't really what I went to school for at all and now I'm doing something that I didn't go to school for and I think my 20s have been a time of exploring and figuring out what I really want to do and I know that so many other people experience that as well and again that's not a strictly woman thing. Men experience that too. I think this is just something to keep in mind in general when we're expecting people to just sort of have it all figured out. It doesn't always look like that for everyone but that doesn't mean that they're going to be a horrible partner during that time of their life. You know, even though I was unsatisfied with my job, I don't think I was a bad girlfriend because of it. So, just something to keep in mind and just because a man is unhappy in his job doesn't mean that he's evil or insecure as suggested in the video. I actually think some of the most meaningful growth can emerge from these moments of struggle, whether in a career or in a totally different aspect of life. You know, I think if a man is able to recognize that maybe his career is no longer serving him or maybe he wants to try something new or maybe he's just not, you know, happy where he's at, I think it's actually admirable to recognize that and admit that because that's something that's really hard to do. So, a man who's facing challenges in his career might be going through a bit of a rough patch but that doesn't automatically mean that he's going to bring that negativity into a relationship or again mean that he's evil or insecure. I think what truly matters here is emotional maturity and the ability to manage these difficulties and then grow from them. A man who can acknowledge his struggles, seek support, and then work through them is often way more fulfilling to be around anyway. And as I mentioned before, it's not always about having everything together but more so how you navigate and adapt through these tough times. Now, if a man stays stuck in that struggle, constantly complaining, and taking no action to improve his situation, that's not just unattractive, that can also be completely draining to be around. Women, like anyone, value a partner who takes initiative, works towards solutions, and is proactive about overcoming these challenges. If a man is continuously dwelling on his dissatisfaction without trying to change his circumstances or better himself, it creates a pretty toxic environment. I would say this about anyone, not just a man, a woman as well, a friend, not even just a romantic partner. Speaking from personal experience, it is hard to be around someone who is constantly stuck in negativity and who refuses to take any action. And it sounds like this is more so what she's talking about in her video specifically or at least that's the assumption that I'm making and what I could agree with because I will absolutely sit here and agree that this type of behavior can lead to frustration, resentment, and even a bit of hopelessness within a relationship. No one wants to feel like they are carrying their partner's emotional weight completely without seeing any effort to improve the situation. Most women probably want a partner who even in hard times is resilient, optimistic, and committed to making things better, not someone who resigns themselves to complaining without taking any steps to change. So while facing challenges is normal and we can give grace there, I think it's how you respond and move forward that truly matters. I think ultimately in the grand scheme of things, a great significant other is someone who is emotionally available, who can effectively communicate, and who is invested in your relationship whether or not they are completely 100% content with their career. And while yes, a man's hard work is admirable, I think what truly defines his ability to be a great significant other is his character, his emotional intelligence, and his willingness to show up for his loved ones regardless of what is going on in his professional life. And I'll leave you with this as something to think about. If you're currently living with no direction, whether that's in your health, your career, your life goals, anything really, it can be incredibly difficult to show up for other people. You know, without a sense of purpose, it is hard to be the type of partner that you really want to be. When you don't have clear goals or a sense of the direction that you're heading, it's very easy to feel lost and disconnected from your own life, which then naturally can make it harder to connect deeply with another person, like a romantic partner. A sense of direction will really help give you focus, motivation, and the emotional clarity to show up fully within relationships, both romantic and platonic. If you're not working on yourself, whether that's your mental health, your physical health, your career, any sort of personal growth, it is so much harder to be the kind of partner who is emotionally available, supportive, and present. Without a sense of purpose, a relationship can start to feel like something that you're only half invested in because you're not even fully invested in yourself, which can really create a disconnect between you and the person that you're with. When you're working on yourself and trying to be the best that you can be, it's much easier to show up authentically and give the best of who you are to the people that you care about too. And even from my own personal experience, when I'm a better Courtney, I'm a better friend, I'm a better wife, I'm a better creator for you guys here on YouTube. To put it simply, the better you are, the better you can be for the people around you. I'll tell you where the good men aren't. They aren't in comment sections being hateful. They are not down in this girl's comment section and saying bitter, hateful, cruel things. They are not in my comment section doing the same. They are not on the internet saying things like that to people. I think people who are happier are often more kind to other people. Like anytime I see someone leave a very mean comment or anytime I see someone just being mean to another person in general, like very hateful, I just think that they are probably projecting the way that they feel about themselves onto other people and that's really sad. So to go back to the video, you know, I think we all get fulfillment and happiness from different things in life, but I think people who are more happy with themselves are often more kind to other people too. So that is just something to think about. Let me know down in the comments, did you resonate with this video? Have you noticed a change in your overall fulfillment by being happier with your career or maybe you get your fulfillment from something else? I would just love to get a productive conversation going down in the comments and I would also appreciate hearing a man's perspective on this too. And again, I just want to reiterate as I do in a lot of my reaction videos that I do reaction videos to try to share a different perspective and to open up a conversation that can hopefully help you individually or in dating in general. So I like hearing what other people have to say. I also like sharing my perspective as a woman and I would love to hear a male perspective down in the comments. Just try your best to keep it productive. So if you like this video or found it helpful, be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when I release new content. If you haven't already, be sure to follow me over on Instagram at CourtneyChristineRyan. I love connecting with all of you guys over on there as well. If you ever have a video that you want me to react to, you can tag me over on TikTok, send it my way via DMs or email. The best way to do it though is probably just to tag me directly in the comments. I'm more likely to see it that way. So as always, thank you all so much for watching and I will see you all next time.