“Narcissism is Going up in Our Culture!” The SHOCKING Reality | Evy Poumpouras

how can you really tell if someone is a narcissist a sociopath or a psychopath like how can you tell if they have nuances of it or if they are one is there a strategy in finding that out you know I am totally on board with you with this because everybody's calling everybody a narcissist it's like the thing you don't agree with me you're a narcissist you said this to me you're a narcissist it's like pull out the dsm5 which is actually the book that has all the disorders in there I have a masters in forensic psychology and you not agreeing with someone or rather someone not agreeing with you doesn't mean you label them as a narcissist and the fact that we label everybody all these things just in and of itself you labeling somebody else a narcissist is narcissistic of you right so when we look at true narcissism there's criteria you have to meet and there's certain criteria lack of empathy is one they don't feel bad lack of remorse now when you look at serial killers or people who commit certain types of crime that's falls under antisocial disorder when people think of antisocial disorder they think of someone who doesn't like to socialize it doesn't like to be monkey right as we talked about it before they don't want to be warm and engaging they kind of are them to themselves that's not that antisocial disorder essentially is it's a person who lacks empathy and that's where sociopath or psychopath fall in although they they they've moved away from the using these terms and in actual psychology the chances of you coming across someone like that it's they some of the research that I had looked at said one out of 25 people will be one of these so one out of 25 people will have this tendency meet this criteria it doesn't a narcissist or sociopath or psych soop sociopath psychopath really one 25 one out of 25 maybe a little bit of narcissism but one out of 25 I think narcissism is going up in our culture right now I think we are seeing a bit more of it and the reason why I think we're seeing that a lot a lot is the United States predominantly I can't speak to other countries as much is a very identity culture we're all me me me me me I feel like this my feelings need to be validated I need this I need that and then with that um social media has made us more self-focused rather than outward focused so we are more identity we also have we lack more empathy as well so media um has also done that in fact I just literally on the way here the news just hit me up NBC and like hey we want to do a story to looking at college campuses crime is going up on college campuses and they're want they want to know why one of the reasons why is a lack of connection I'm an Adjunct professor I teach criminal justice criminology I have a three-hour block that I do when I give my students breaks because I give them do you know not one person turns around and says hey how are you how are you doing today they all pull out their phones and they do this they don't even get up out of their chair to go on break I have to tell them get up go walk go use the bathroom get some water so why is that a problem the problem is I'm not building Community I'm not getting to know you you're there and I'm here and so when we don't feel connected to people we have a lack of empathy we fear or don't like the other and we are more likely to cause harm to the other all these things come into play and social media watching I do the news everything's negative it's true they're not going to put anything positive because you the viewer don't want to see it you want to see the drama you want to see they're called celebrity cases the cases especially crime they want to see those cases over and over again when you're also consuming this stuff on a repetitive basis it's also not healthy for you I I have a criminal background right I've never watched a crime show ever wow I help make them right right but I don't it's too much I need a break I need something else I will watch something that has nothing to do with that so you also have to think what am I feeding my mind but again to go back to the sociopathic question the main thing that we see between sociopath psychopath or really antisocial disorder and narcissism is a lack of empathy I don't feel bad for what I do it's my inability to feel bad for causing you harm so I don't feel bad for what I do to you or what someone is doing to you I do to you okay I don't I I'm focused and they're very identity by the way they they are very self-focused it is me me me so a couple things to pay to pay attention to when you hear somebody using the repeated use of i i i i a little bit of a red flag right you can even see it in email we I was trained to look at language and how you can know in language when somebody is very self-focused or even depressed if you see the repeated use of I I this I that it's either self focused narcissism or depression people people also who are very depressed are very self focused I analyze myself another thing that's coming causing harm and I think people are coming out with this is when you sit and you talk about your problems all the time when you dwell on them when you analyze them when you sit there and you've had something bad happen to you and you are trying to dissect that thing to the nth degree to figure out why it happened what you're doing is you're feeding your brain and you know even spiritually right if we bring it to that level only negative things you are dwelling and retelling and reliving the harm that's caused to you and you know one of the predominant places that happens in is in the therapy room because most people when they go to therapy what do you do you talk about everything that's wrong in your life so you have to take a moment because I've had people come to me I need help with this and when I speak to them they'll be in years of therapy and I'll ask them what do you go for what do you do when you're in there right I talk about my problems so if I sit and I always talk about my problems and I relive them and I retell them and then I get emotionally upset what kind of head space am I in you know the hypocritic oath I'm Greek it's Do no harm so I think going to therapy and getting uh help is a great thing so long as you understand why am I going what's my purpose and so long as you have a good doctor that says we're done now mhm you don't need me anymore yes that's interesting you know because you know growing up as a man in I guess the Western culture I was I was never acceptable to express feelings right so it was kind of like an extreme of just don't acknowledge it don't talk about it don't express it don't let it out let it out through anger or sports or some other strategy to kind of let out your emotions and by suppressing it for so long and not just talking about it at least a few times it made me feel like a lot of pressure it made me feel like something was boiling inside of me and as I started talking about the things that were causing me emotional pain or frustration and figuring out how to integrate the lessons of healing or release and move Beyond it did I started to feel better but if I was constantly reliving a story and feeling emotionally heightened by it I could assume that wouldn't benefit me long term but on the flip side like not talking about at all might cause me stress or chronic you know stress or pain or something else so I think it's a balance it's the balance like learning how to communicate it and learning how to release it but getting a strategy to go beyond it yes you you want to be in the state of moving forward but if I retell it and retell it and retell it and retell it and relive it it's like eating McDonald's no offense to McDonald's but if I eat McDonald's every day I'm putting junk in my body my body is going to show if I'm retelling every bad event and I'm feeding that to my mind and into my soul cons on a consistent basis yes I'm not going to feel good either