Kendall Jenner Opens Up About Her Anxiety | Open Minded | Session 1 | Vogue

I am very aware of my anxieties. I don't like the pity party. I don't like talking about when I don't feel too well. I don't know, I am a little nervous. Just being kind of open about what I struggle with and making it known to other people is a bit nerve wracking. I remember being really young, I'd say like eight, nine, 10, around that time, and I remember having shortness of breath and going to my mom and telling her that. In hindsight, now I know that that was obviously anxiety. I think being overworked and being in the situation that I'm in now is kind of what set it out of control in a way. I've had times where I feel like I need to be rushed to the hospital because I think that my heart's failing and I can't breathe and I need someone to help me. Sometimes I think I'm dying. Sometimes parts of my body will go numb and it can be really, yeah, intense and scary. I mean, there is going to be those people that say like, oh, okay, what does she have to worry about? What does she have to be anxious about? And I'll never sit here and say that I'm not fortunate. I know I live a very privileged, amazing lifestyle. I'm a very blessed girl. I still have one of these, you know what I mean? And that thing up there sometimes doesn't always, I don't know, it's not always happy and it's not always connecting and I'm still a human being at the end of the day. No matter what someone has or doesn't have, it doesn't mean that they don't have real life feelings and emotions. As a psychologist in private practice here in Los Angeles, I work with people with a wide, like sort of what you call a generalist. So different people bring in different stuff. But the one thing that I would say every single individual that I've ever worked with has brought in is anxiety. One of the most important things I think is to destigmatize all mental health issues, particularly anxiety, because a lot of people think they're alone with this. Like you kind of said, everyone I think suffers from, even if it's just a minimal amount of anxiety, but it is something when someone's like, oh my God, I have anxiety about this, like almost using the term loosely. I know what that feels like and like you're using that term lightly and I'm just like, ah. You gotta remember, anxiety's on a continuum, right? At the milder end, it's probably what these people are saying, oh, I'm feeling this anxiety, but they're getting through the day. But one, it jumps the line and there's a point at which anxiety gets in the way. It makes people more uncomfortable at work. It makes people more uncomfortable in their relationships. It makes people more uncomfortable out of the house. They'd actually just as soon stay home than deal with the big unknown. And they're physically uncomfortable. Their heart's racing. They feel like they're crawling out of their own skin. They feel sick a lot. Everything's scary. And when we get to that point, we call it clinically significant anxiety. It's got a name, yeah. Okay, cool. Now I know. Now you know. It sounds like social anxiety is something you had even before the pandemic. Before, I was really overwhelmed, really overworked. I was always around people and I kind of got really overwhelmed with all of that to the point where I was like, I need to be alone. Now it's more like, okay, we've all been super isolated to the point where I'm almost like so used to that that now that things are slowly opening up, if I go to a dinner or if I see a few more of my friends that I'm used to seeing throughout this last year, that gives me anxiety. I'm going to give you an analogy. Have you ever been scuba diving? No, I've been snuba diving, similar. So we'll build up on that a little bit because when you scuba dive, if you come up too fast, like you come from 20 feet up, you could actually get really sick. And that's called the bends. And psychology is similar. Well, from this pandemic, if we go too quickly from being locked in to throwing ourselves right back out there, especially for people with anxiety, they're going to kind of get the psychological bends. And they're really going to kind of get rattled. So I'm telling you, you have to ease yourself into it. We're all learning our skills again. We lost it. I know, it's crazy. Social anxiety has a certain look to it. And people who are socially anxious classically are afraid that not only are people looking at them, that they're criticizing them, they're judging them. And that the socially anxious person feels like they're doing judgeable things or that they're making other people uncomfortable merely by being there. These people are uncomfortable because I'm so awkward. What happens is over time, because that moment is so hard, even before the person gets into the situation, their heart is racing. They feel sick. The whole experience of even being with people feels so aversive. It's easier to just say, nah, I'm not gonna go. And this is all strictly like mental, right? It's just everything that your brain is like, you're just going down a rabbit hole. You're going down a rabbit hole. Because it feels so physical, is why I asked you that. So I've literally gone to doctors because that's how bad it gets for me to where I'm like, something's literally wrong. Correct. Panic attacks are sort of the brick of every anxiety disorder or anxiety experience we see. It's all a miscommunication in the brain. Everything gets ramped up. It's taking the signals from here, change this, you change this. I'm also a hypochondriac, which I don't know if that has any relation to, or if it's the cousin of anxiety or something, but I'm like a massive hypochondriac. And that's also something that has been a thing since I was really little. People who are anxious are always monitoring their bodies. It's almost like a Roomba. You're always sort of like wandering around and vacuuming all these thoughts in your body. And so if you even feel like a tiny headache, you're like, oh my God, I have a tumor in my brain. That's me. That is me. Or I have some lung disease, I have to go get checked out. Anxiety is like a magnifying glass. And it magnifies only the bad things. Every little ping, every little this. And so in essence, what we're trying to do is take that magnifying glass and put it to being a regular lens, because especially physical sensations, because anxiety is such a physical disorder. And so that's one thing I always want to tell people is that they go together and that as the anxiety starts getting pulled away, those hypochondriacal thoughts also start coming down because they're a nuisance. And so I'm glad you mentioned that because that's really an important thing for people to know. Well, you're literally, sometimes I'm bad at putting my thoughts into words and you're doing it for me. So these are some written in questions from followers and viewers. The first question, how do you open up to people about social anxiety? Tell your nearest and dearest, like practice talk, having the conversation with the people you feel safest with. People will say, oh, I did not know that. And thank you for telling me because I won't push as much. I can support you and now I'm aware, right? Okay, next question. How should I handle anxiety over a loved one who isn't being cautious during COVID? Wow, I feel this. I've heard this from so many people. If you have a healthy relationship, you can explain your point of view and say, listen, this is concerning me for all these reasons, okay? If the person's still not meeting you halfway, like they really are being difficult, I talk about realistic expectations. You're probably not going to get them to be mask wearing, sanitizer doing, hand washing friend, then all you can do is keep your side of the street clean. Anxiety's gotten a really bad brand. So I want to also like say something nice about anxiety. Once upon a time, you know, the anxiety is what made us survive. The anxious people knew to say, tiger coming, don't eat those berries. Looks like something bad's happening. Anxiety kept us safe to a degree. And people who are anxious are higher in this personality trait called neuroticism. People who are higher in neuroticism are also sometimes a little bit more aware of other people's stuff too. I consider it like a beautiful thing in a way. It is a beautiful thing. And I like that I am really aware of my body and like my mind. I know it can sometimes get the best of me, but I think that I really, I like that I'm in tune and I like that I like, you know, want to know everything. Anxiety, when it's sort of right in that sweet spot is a little bit of a superpower because it actually helps you keep yourself safe, keep others safe, and kind of keep you mentally on point. So there's that perfect sweet spot of anxiety where there's just enough where you're performing at the top of your game and keeping, so we want to get you right at the top. So we're asking all the doctors that I meet for some tips and tricks that maybe the viewers can take into account of their own life and apply to their life. So if you have anything I would love to hear for myself and for all the viewers. One of the best things a person who's socially anxious can do is prepare. That getting caught, coming late, rushing, that doesn't feel good. So be on time or be a little bit early. Oh my God, I'm such, I need to be on time. If I'm not, I freak out. There you go, so if you can be on time or be a little bit early, even if you're sitting in your car and you're like, perfect, now I'm going to go in, you're less frenzied, and prepare. Learn what you're getting into, like how many people are going to be there? What's it going to feel like? Almost mentally rehearse it a little, that helps a lot. So here's the second thing you can take away. A lot of what can help people who are socially anxious is to get good feedback from their audience. So a great way to do it is sort of a three-point plan for how you can use your body. It's uncrossing, I'm going to uncross my legs too. Uncross your arms, okay? Make eye contact and smile. When you do that, you disarm everyone. And interestingly, when I first met you, you did that right away. And you put me at ease. So I felt comfortable, whereas if I come in and you were just sort of distant or aloof or remote, I would have felt anxious. So that's a dance, and that mirrored dance becomes really, you know, it becomes really important. Well, thank you so much. I'm so glad I got to sit with you, and I learned a lot today, so thank you. And I appreciate you sharing your story because I'm always grateful when people talk about their stories publicly so people can see they're not alone with this because I think the hardest thing of all is to feel alone. So thank you for doing that. It does definitely feel like a weight is lifted when I, you know, feel something and I hear someone else saying, oh yeah, I get what you're feeling, or this must be what you're feeling, right? And I'm like, oh my gosh, yes. Like, that's exactly what I'm trying to express. And it's that comforting feeling of like, okay, she's either experienced this herself or she knows people that have experienced it being a doctor who's seen a lot. So it just makes you feel a little, it just makes you feel understood, and that's a really nice feeling.