"Interrogating Zuckerberg" — A Bad Lip Reading

Thanks for coming, Mr. Zuckerberg. How are you? Uh, just a sec. Mom, could you get me my Frodo ring? I want it here. Okay, now that we got the ring sorted out, we can move on to the topic at hand, which is the concerns that have been raised. You need water, okay. Now, as I was saying, there's been a lot of concern about people's private information. Okay, how about you just chug the water? I want you to cut it off. Are you blowing bubbles? I'm gonna have to spank you. Okay, now you're good. I swear it's like he's got a mask on. Listen, kid, blink if you're not a lamp. We'd like you to make a little smile just to show that you can. Oh, good heavens, that's just horrible. Stop that, son. For the rest of the day, will you not do that, please? Um, so I have to admit that all of this is just boring as beans, and, um, what are we talking about, and what am I gonna ask? It was about, oh yeah, so when I have the Facebook, then do I also have the internet? Um, yeah, you do. I'd just like everyone to know that my van is for sale. Great. I mean, I don't know how you feel about that, but if you got to kind of like drive it and stuff, then yeah, I'm pretty sure you'd want to buy it. No, wait, because this van, I mean, it's special. Nope. No, hey, I'll send you a picture and you'll say, I want this in my driveway. No, please don't send anything. Okay, well, I guess you're stupid. It's just a van. I told you it's a special van. Uh, do you think that I might need to shave my head for a Frenchman? Because some people have said to me, shave your head. What do you think? Just say, no, I will not do that. Okay. Mr. Zuckerman, World War I was awful. Do you agree? Uh, yes. Well, why are we even here then, Senator Graham? Judy, you were meant to be only with me. Judy, you were born in moonlight. Senator Graham, do you got any questions for me? Oh, shoot. See what happened there is you guys caught me singing Judy in moonlight because I really like it. It's a really great song because Judy in moonlight is what this song is about. Hey, ask me something. Do you like your heart rate? I'll get back to you about that. It's my turn. Can we be friends later? No, I mean, no, we probably shouldn't. Would you say that if I lived in a tree house? I doubt it. Have you ever smelled a girl's feet? Because I imagine me and you could be doing that at some point. No. What's the problem, little friend? Don't try to get in my Porsche again. But I really like you. Mr. Facebook man, lift your hand out like this, boy. Swing it out like this. You think it's hard? Believe me, I could hold a hand in the air all day. You see it? I see it. It's tradition where I'm from to stare at the outstretched hand. That's for having your hair like that. Hey, I'll go, bro. Do you worry about those little weenies you get from Barb from downstairs? Well, I do not want that to be a thing. Hey, really, man, I think people will find you more fun if you open your mind about the little weenies. I doubt that. Over here. Sorry, kid, I forget your name. Bojang Bugami. Bugami, that's weird. What is that, Flemish or French or Japanese or Anglo? Okay. Good hang, buddy. Cool hang. You have a bean head. Well, really, that's great. That kind of reminds me of how I knew Einstein back when I was just a kid. I would go to his apartment and dude had a green bean bag. I wish that was right. Yeah, and he had this deal where you could also make all the chocolate milk you liked. I can tell you what Einstein would have said about Facebook. Horse manure pile. That's cool. Turd satchel. Remember, those are Einstein's words. Hey, Mark, do you have a painful scroat? No, I do not. Well, you will in time.