Embracing the Human Journey _ Janie Wells.

I'm Janie Wells. I'm 72 years old. I lost my daughter 16 years ago when she was 30 years old in a violent crime. It put me on the path to be in the same room with this evil man over and over in adherence. I've always been a spiritual person. I was raised in a Mississippi Baptist church where you are going to go to hell if you dance. I love dancing. There were so many rules that I had trouble growing up. And I kept thinking, if I'm perfect, they'll accept me. If I'm perfect, then everything will be okay. If I'm perfect, I'll go to heaven. And that became impossible. When I got to be 21, I took my first drink. And it was a great friend to me because I wasn't afraid anymore. I wasn't afraid of going to hell in those moments. And so I ended up becoming an alcoholic for eight years. In a way, that opened my eyes to a different type of higher power or supreme being or divine person and entity, as we might call it. It's all somatics. It's something outside of myself that I can't see. It's beyond the known and the seen. It's something very powerful. And what words are used to me, whether it's God, divine, I know that UFOs are a big part of people knowing that there's something beyond us that's bigger than us, that's trying to reach us. And we come to it in different ways with different words. And so when I got into an organized group for helping me with my alcoholism, it's the first time it had ever been introduced to me that it could be a God of my understanding. And that began to free me. And so for years, at least I was trying to find a connection with this one entity as I understood him and how he was dealing with my life. But my concept of him was very linear. It was me and him. That was it. Me and God, me and God. And one day, I got a phone call that my mother had died. She was just 58. I was 38. And I went to visit a friend. And my friend, there was several of us sitting around and this one man was telling a very interesting story. And I was just enthralled in his story. And my friend got up and turned off the lamp in front of me and the one behind me. But I just kept on listening to this man. And when it was all over, she said, there was the most beautiful woman standing over you with her hands on your shoulders. And she was smiling. And she wasn't but five feet tall. And she described her dress. And this friend had never seen my mother. And she described the dress that my mother had been buried in. And so that opened me up to maybe there was another spiritual entity to all of this. And so then one day after my daughter died, I went to a holistic expo. And this one woman just caught my attention with her eyes. And I knew that I needed to talk to her. And that was who I wanted to do a reading for me. And I did not tell her for quite a while about my daughter. But she kept telling me, I did several readings with her through the years, and she eventually became a spiritual mentor. And so she at one time, I ride a bike a lot, and I hate helmets. I don't like things around my neck and I hate helmets. And I'm pretty sure I must have been hung in a former life. But anyway, she was doing a reading and she just cracked out laughing. She didn't know I rode a bike. And she said, I can just see Joanne, for some reason, riding on this bicycle with this huge helmet on. And I knew it was Joanne because I knew she was concerned that I rode without a helmet. So that widened it to now I've got God, the Supreme, I've got my mother, I've got my daughter. And so that's what widened my focus into the spiritual world. And then when my daughter died, I went to a very dark place. I had no beliefs anymore and had even wondered if what I told them growing up was right about a loving God. And at that period of time, though, I had a way to choose how I was going to search for God. And I became a great searcher for God. And through my search for God, my daughter's been able to talk to me because I had to open my heart to get any help from the Supreme Being. And it opened my heart to my daughter. And she eventually taught me how to love myself. And she would tell me, you know, if I go to nature, that she can not only be with me, but she can become the things I love and surround me. And so that's when I got a sense of of there being something that's going to keep me safe and guided all around me at all times. And from that point on, I'm very open. I listen. I know that everybody I run into is a teacher for me. And I've always got something to teach those to come to me. And so on this human journey, it's just an exploration, an exploration for me to get closer to myself with the help of the angels and my higher power. The things that I've learned is that it's okay to be me is the biggest thing, that I'm here for a reason, and I was made me for a reason, and that I brought a mission with me. And that's the biggest thing that I've learned. On two levels, I can accept that my daughter died, and I know that it was pre-planned before we came down here. But on a human level, I can't cry for my daughter sometimes. And somebody even asked me once, wouldn't it be great if you knew everything was okay and you didn't have to go through all this? And I said, well, that's the whole reason I'm here. If I knew everything was going to be okay, I wouldn't search. I wouldn't believe. I wouldn't have faith. And so what gets me through the hard times is knowing that there's a reason for everything it's meant to be. And that's been the biggest thing I've learned. The other thing I've learned is that there's nobody in this world that isn't searching for the same things I am, for understanding and peace and feeling safe. And so love is the only way the two spirits connect. So if I'm open with a loving heart, it's going to be hard for them not to be open and loving also, if they come and seek me out. I have it guarded enough to where I can pretty well read people well. If it's ill-intentioned, I can see that quickly. But I always feel like I'm teaching them and they're teaching me. And the biggest thing I learned is, you know, to embrace the joys and the sorrows, they all have a purpose. And that's there, I guess, there's a gift at the end of every experience if you let it finish out before you make any judgment about it. For someone that's on their discovery of their spiritual journey, the best thing is not to push it with your mind, to want it with an open heart and to ask for it, the desire for it, and not be surprised at when it's going to come to you and how it's going to come to you. To tear up any itinerary that you've got planned for your life and any way you think you're going to be communicated with, and you're going to be very surprised at how the answers come. And if you're just beginning, you're going to be found more than you're going to have to find them. They're going to find you and open up the love for you. But it's all your intention it's all your motive and what you're really asking for from your heart. And then the rest of it, you're going to be carried. As long as you're being yourself, then your mission is going to unfold. And as long as you've got love in your heart, you're going to experience more rapture than you ever believed you could. For the family members that don't totally understand what I'm talking about or where I am, I don't argue with them. I am true to my own self in that I disclose only what I want to disclose to them. And I've learned to discern the people I want to share my journey with so that it doesn't dilute what I'm feeling. But the main thing that I do is I just don't, I don't judge them and I don't try to win them over. I feel like everybody's got their own path. And for some reason, this family was perfect for me. It got me where I was supposed to be led. And so I, at some point in my heart, thank them for being hard to live with because that's what brought me to a deeper understanding of what love is. And there's probably, I cannot think of one family member that fully understands where I am. I have one aunt that's in a Mississippi Baptist church that I love dearly and she loved me. But she'd say, why, Janie? Now you know God wouldn't want you to say that. Or Janie, you need to do this. But I knew her intentions were well and I knew she loved me and that's why she was trying to guide me and direct me. And so I just said, I so appreciate you're loving me that much to let me know what. I found, I found that most people say things that make them feel better. A lot of times they'll say something that they're afraid not to believe or what to feel. And a lot of times those are the things that family and friends can say to you. So I guess the main thing is in sharing, I try not to dilute it with people that want to argue about how I am because I'm not going to be argued with at all. The only other thing that I can think of that I would really like to cover is that everybody has got a mission and a purpose. And there's two levels, actually three levels of consciousness and living. One is the divine, which is what we're all trying to reach. Our spirit is a connection to the divine and we've got a yearning. And then we've got the human body, which is the greatest miracle that could have been designed and invented. And then we've got the transformation zone and that's where we live most of the time. And I guess the main thing I want anybody starting out particularly is to know that once you get in that transformation zone, there are times when you're going to feel lost and empty and feel like you're not doing something right. But it's only because that you're learning new ways of seeing the world. You're learning to learn yourself in a different way and live a different way. So your old methods and your old defenses and all of that are not going to help you anymore. And you just have to make your vessel open for the new to come in. So it's okay to be lost. You'll find your way back. Just don't wander off the path too far. I have two books that have been published. The first one is called Payment for Passage. And I wrote that with the intent of keeping my daughter's memory alive after she was dead. I had no faith or any kind of beliefs anymore. And to write that book, I knew the name of it, but my daughter was the one that finally came into my automatic writing and said, Mom, don't worry about the content. Just write it and the meaning is going to come to you. It's for your healing first. And so I wrote that book and found my spiritual beliefs again that we had together. And so it's a chronicle of my life and my journey with my daughter before and after her death. And she actually comes to me at one point and tells me the meaning of life and death. The second book is Embracing the Human Journey. And this is a series of messages that I have about the human journey from her heavenly perspective. And she not only has given me messages that I share in the book and share with the reader, but at times she knew that since I'm a person that needs to experience things, she would actually give me things to write down that I needed to do, exercises, spiritual exercises. And so what I would do to find the answer was to follow those exercises. And then in the book, I share how I dealt with those exercises and how they changed me and what they did. There's also spiritual exercises for the reader. There are questions, very hard spiritual questions for the people to ponder for a while. It could take a while to read that book because there's sections on letting go. There's sections on anything that might cause, make it hard to be a human being. You know, it's great to think about and learn about the angels and other entities and all, but bottom line is we've got to live as a human being down here. And we live with ourselves more than anyone else. And so this book is to carry the reader to a place where they're learning who they are and they start embracing the human journey with open arms. I have a website where people can contact me and there's also a link to Facebook. I have a blog and it's very simple. It's janiewells.com. And on that, you'll find out about me. You'll find out more about my daughter, a lot about the books. You'll get to review the books to see which one you might like and a blog that I invite readers to participate in. But they can find just about any way to contact me, email address on that website.