CROTCHETY STORAGE LADY (ft. Mama Parham)

Hello my geeks and peeps, my explainers and entertainers, my little oodlallies, Rebecca Parham here. My mama, Mama Parham, is a big important businesswoman and she gets asked to speak at conventions and conferences all the time. And one of the things that she has to speak a lot about in her industry is storage. Yes it is, and my mama knows that. To make her presentations less boring, she's commissioned me, her hip young awesome talented youtuber daughter, to narrate and animate a story that she has been telling at these storage conventions for a long time now. What you're about to see is the final product. So without further ado, please enjoy my mom's very weird story about her first experience with self-storage. Roll tape! I think it was about 1980 when I had my first experience with storage. My husband Mike and I had gotten all of our stuff into this good size moving truck and we drove to this place that was literally the only self-storage within 3 towns of us. So Mike drove up the truck, I got out, and I walked into the office. If you could even call it that. To be honest, it just kinda looked like they threw a front desk in a fake plant into one of their 10x10 units and called it a day. I mean, we're talking majorly primitive here. Anyways, I approached the front desk, not to be greeted by a manager, but rather by this. Roof! Though, to be fair, I've had worse customer service greetings. So there was an open door behind the front counter, which apparently led to the manager's apartment because when I leaned over to look in, sitting on a sofa about 3 feet away from a big ol' console TV, was the manager. Uh... Ahem. Yeah, what do you need? I... have a truck. And I need to put my stuff in here. She got up, slowly, cigarette hanging out of her mouth. What you got out there? She leaned over the counter, looked through the window at my moving truck, and said, You're gonna need a 12x28. Here. Fill that out right there. Pheevee, shut up. What, you need a pen? Uh, yeah. It's $41.50 a month. You need a lock? Uh, yeah. Five dollars. Your unit's the last building on the right. Pheevee, shut up. It's behind that gate over there, but I lock it at exactly 6 o'clock, so you better not I looked at my wristwatch, and without missing a beat, she said, Yeah, you maybe got half an hour. You'll need to hurry up. Oh, and your payment's due on the 12th. Why on the 12th? Because I said so. If you don't pay, we sell your stuff, got it? Now sign here. Pheevee, shut up. And that was basically it. I signed her little one-page contract, she made me a copy of it, and I wrote her a check. And at the end, I just kinda said, Uh, thank you? And walked out the door. I got back in the truck, and Mike said, Hey, so what'd you get? I thought for a moment, and said, I'll tell you later. Let's just go home. And we drove that big ol' truck all the way back home. Did you get that? The corrected assignment went down a grade. Yeah, I was kinda pissed. Yeah, me too.