#5: Trải Nghiệm vs Giới Hạn

Today is a beautiful day. I'm sitting in an incredible space. I'm sitting on a soft, warm, and fluffy carpet. Because it's winter in Vietnam, and the sun is shining all over the area I'm sitting in. I feel like, wow, today is amazing. Because normally in winter, you don't get that much sunlight. But today, it's a lot. And there are a lot of trees around me. It gives me a lot of motivation. It makes me want to sit down and record to share my feelings and emotions at this time. Yesterday, I had a meeting to talk to Tri. You all know Tri from The Treeway. Tri and I had a meeting. During this meeting, I realized that it was a challenge to open up my limits. I thought I had opened up my limits before. But when I talked to Tri, I realized that this was my last challenge to open up my limits. When I talked to him, I realized that and I was excited. I realized that I had a great point of view. Since yesterday, I've been thinking about that. And when I'm sitting here, I feel like I need to share this with you. Because I think it's a good thing. Yesterday, when we were talking, we talked about a topic. He talked about Japanese tourism. I talked about the judgment of people. I realized that I still have a lot of that. Of course, everyone has that. But I used to think that I didn't have that anymore. But yesterday, when we talked, I realized that I still have that. And it limits my experiences in life. I have a friend who likes Japan a lot. And he asked me to go to Japan many times. But I have a point of view that I don't have a lot of feelings about Japan. Although everyone knows that Japan has great things. The whole world has recognized that. I didn't argue about that. But besides those good things, I also know some things that I don't like. For example, I read this. And I heard it from my friends who live in Japan. They are also Japanese. For example, they say that Japan is very stressful. And when they go to work, they don't leave the office until 8 p.m. The reason is that their colleagues are still there. They don't want to leave. And it's like that. It makes life very stressful and tiring. And the second is how to deal with women. They don't respect women. Even not as much as in Vietnam. And my friend said one more thing. Even the wife at home, they still accept one thing. It's like they don't say it, but the husband has the ability to have an affair. It's like having an affair. And the wife just needs to make sure that she brings home the money. I was very shocked when I heard this. And I also heard from my friend that my colleague who works in Japan was sexually harassed. And this is not a rare thing. And it happens quite often. And especially women will almost never dare to speak up because they are afraid of their reputation. They are also afraid of being judged. In general, there are many things that make me feel very shocked when I hear it. Actually, I've read this before. And then I heard it again from my friend in real life. And then I felt a little bit uncomfortable when I think about the very different things that people can say. For example, about Japanese people, I was also shocked by those things. So in my travel list, I didn't put Japan first. And secondly, I was also afraid of going to a stressful place. Because I've been to Korea before. And I really didn't feel like going back there. It was very depressing. I think you can see this in the clips or videos that YouTubers make about their trips to Japan or Korea. You can see this very clearly. But actually, when I was in that situation, I was in that place, I felt that I didn't fit in here. I thought it was terrible. But in Vietnam, it was perfect. It was fine. I thought it was fine. Because at 12 o'clock at night, the subway was still full of people. People were still taking their bags to work. It made me feel so terrible. And because of those things, I read, I heard, they combined together to create a kind of, I can call it a prejudice or a point of view of Japanese people. I never wanted to go to Japan to travel. And my friend asked me to go to Japan for many years. Although my friend sent me pictures of the countryside area, it was very cute. I found it very cute. But I still had those conditions that made me feel like I didn't want to go there. I felt like it was a waste of my money to go there. And recently, I've changed a little bit. When I have a friend, a colleague, they really love Japan. And they've been to Japan for many times. And this friend, after she came back, she told me that I should go to Japan. Because there are things like this and that. And the pictures she took for me gave me a new wind. I felt like, OK, I'll try it. And I told my friend, OK, now I'll try to go to Japan. And I didn't understand why so many people said that Japan was great. I didn't feel it. And I still kept that prejudice. But why did she say that? I felt like, OK, I'll give it a go. I'll try it. And I decided that I would choose a suitable time for me and my friend to travel together. After a while, I had an appointment with Tri. When he told me about his experience in Japan, he told me that he could live anywhere. He could live in Perth, in Australia. He could get along with their people. He could talk to them. He could live their way. When he came to Saigon, he could live Saigon's way. And not only Saigon's way, he could live where his people live. And he could get along with them. He didn't just live there and keep his nature. He didn't keep his knowledge or his personality. He wasn't like that. He told me that even though they were workers, he could talk to them and live their way. I thought, wow, that's cool. Even though I'm a very sociable person, I could live anywhere. And people usually like me. But from his point of view, he told me that everything I heard was just other people's experience. Even though those experiences were real, they were just other people's experience. It wasn't my experience. When I heard it from other people, I was limiting my experience. I wasn't trying. Actually, I think this is very reasonable. Because when I talked to him, I realized that it's always the same everywhere. There are always good and bad sides. It's not just in one country. It's not just how we look at it. For example, when it comes to discrimination, he told me that when he went there, he was also discriminated against. He said, I don't play with this person. I play with someone else. When he told me that, I realized that we should face this life and evaluate everything based on their work. When they are like that, I know that they don't like international people coming to their country. That's their choice and perspective. I just accept it. I don't take it personally. I don't think that they have something against me. What did they do to me? I don't think about it. I just look at their work at that time. Actually, it will be simpler. First of all, I don't have a victim mentality. I'm not easily hurt and fragile. It makes me feel very strong about our mental health. Because in this life, every time we do something or wherever we are, we are easily affected by the environment. What others say makes us feel a little bit hurt. It's really hard and it hinders many experiences. It makes us have dark thoughts and it's limited. When the story came to me, I realized that I was very open and I didn't judge anyone. I thought it was okay and I respected everyone's differences. But I realized that when I came to a country like that, I was still heard and I was still believed in what was written in the book or what others said. Even if I read a book, I told Tri that even if I read a book, it's just an experience and it's just the point of view of the author. They don't represent everyone. They can only represent a group of people. It's not all of them. I have the right to read for reference. I think it has its value. Everything is the same. If you take advantage of its power, it will be great. If not, it's a double-edged sword. The fact that I read so much and when I need something, I will immediately find it. I will dig into it. I go online, I read about it, I read about it. Sometimes I forget that I will easily be oppressed by the opinion of the author or the person who shares that experience. It oppresses me. That's why I realized that we have to be very careful about what we read and hear. We have to always turn on the mode that when we read a book or hear something, we have to be very alert and neutral that these are the opinions of a certain number of people and the important thing is what we have to do. That's what he told me. We have to experience it. We have to go and know what it's like. He also said that he had to make mistakes and fix them. He had to observe to conclude things like this. I find this very interesting and I really want to share it with everyone. Don't let a stereotype or a saying or just a book no matter how famous that author is, they affect our experience. We have to open up and try it out. We have to experience it and if we see how we think, we will absorb it. It's similar to having a friend who complains that Vietnamese people are not good and so on. But we say no. The people we meet are all very good. So the way of thinking is very different. Whatever you think, your brain will show you that. And if you meet a bad person, it doesn't mean the whole world is bad. If you meet a bad Vietnamese person, it doesn't mean all Vietnamese people are bad. So if we understand the way of thinking from a past experience and we think it's like that forever, you will only see things like that in your life. It's such a shame. It's such a shame because we are closing a door to opportunities and potential that can open up for us. Speaking of this, I remember a concept in Buddhism called emptiness. From my point of view, I can understand this concept very well and I can apply it. As I said, when everything has its own emptiness, it doesn't have a color, a personality or a feeling. It's just that we see it. It's like if you put a pen there, you will see it as a pen. But your dog will see it as a toy. How can it know it's a pen? And a baby will see it as a toy. So that object is decided how it will be. It's largely due to the mind and the perspective of that person. So it doesn't have a color or a nature. So it's the same in our experience. If we meet this person, this situation, it's not very good, it's not very beautiful, then we should recognize that it's just like that and it has nothing to do with us. It's not because they have such an attitude towards us that we will do this or that. It's not. It's just that it's their job, it's their feeling. We don't need to go through the emotional filter. Because we all have certain injuries and an action or a word of the other person will trigger a force to touch that injury and stir it up to make us think that that person has a problem like us. But no. Actually, they are like that. So we don't need to think too much about it. It will make us tired. And if we just ignore it like that, don't add fish sauce, don't add salt, don't add color, then naturally everything will be just like that. If we don't look at it through our glasses, it will just be like that. And if through our glasses, it depends on each person, it will turn into a good story, it will turn into another thought and it will just make us suffer. So from my experience and from what I learned from yesterday's talk with Tri, I feel like it opens the last gate for me to feel confident to explore this world more. And I don't have to be afraid or let the prejudices or stereotypes affect me. Although I know it's like that, but actually it's like having a deep conversation with a person who has the experience then it will have a very special impact on you. Because that is the touch of the truth, of the energy of a person who has really gone through it and experienced it, then when you hear it, you feel it has an impact on you. So that's why I want to share this fun thing with you. I think it's fun and I believe you will find it fun too. Because of this part, I feel that if I do well in that thought of mine, I will have a lot of opportunities to explore the outside world and receive its wonderful things. So today I want to share with you a little bit about the story that Tri and I told each other. I hope this will give you a different perspective as well as a change in your perception of everything. So that you will have wonderful experiences without limiting yourself by prejudices or stereotypes through what you have read, heard and seen. Please remember what I said that no matter what you hear or what book you are going to read, please prepare yourself with an open mind and a neutral mind and a question of whether what they say is true or not. That is an extremely important question. And never let what others say hinder your experience. Because the outside world is a wonderful world, a colorful world. Thank you for listening to my podcast. See you in the next podcast.