#12: Sống là chuẩn bị cho Chết (Life is a preparation for death)

I wish you all a very happy and peaceful day. In today's episode, I'm going to share a very sensitive topic. It's about death. It sounds very scary. I used to think about it, and I was very scared of it. But when I came across this saying, that year I was in 8th grade, and on a Saturday morning, I went to buy breakfast. And on that street, like every day, I usually eat at this restaurant. But I don't know why that day, the restaurant was closed. And I was determined to try other restaurants. And I chose to go to a restaurant that I usually don't go to. Because I see it as a coffee shop, rather than a place to sell breakfast for my age. But there was something that attracted me to go in. When I went in, I immediately saw a board hanging on the wall. And I just stood there and stared at that board. That saying is, to live is to prepare to die. With a 14-year-old girl, when I first read that line, I had a lot of feelings. First, why is this idea so strange and new? But it's also true. I was a little girl right from when I was little. Since I was in first grade, I often wandered and wandered, thinking while walking in the garden, thinking about this and that. So when I thought about death many times, when I read that line, it wasn't something that shocked me. It gave me a feeling that there was a new idea here that I had never seen before. Before I thought about death, I only thought about where I would reincarnate. I never thought about dying, but I had to prepare for it. And since then, this saying has been in my head forever. Until later, when I lived abroad, I had a lot of time to get in touch with the spirit. But the spirit, as I said, I don't belong to a computer person. So my spirit has an understanding. When I read books about spirits abroad, written by Western writers, it opened another door for me. And I gradually understood this saying. If we call it understanding, we understand it in the same way as the saying, that life is preparing for death. Everyone understands it, right? But how to understand it, it depends. I don't dare to say that I understand it to the end. But I know that I understand it better than when I first read it. It's not just the preparation. If we hear that we leave money for someone, who will inherit our property, or deal with material things, it's not like that. It's just one of those numbers. In addition, when I took care of my grandfather, who was sick in the hospital, I happened to see a book by an author. They put it on the bed of a patient. The author is an author. They talk about how to prepare for death, how to prepare the mind of the dying person. And after they die, how should the relative in the family be so that the relative can leave in peace and is the best for them. So, with the knowledge, I put together these things for myself. Sometimes, death is not as scary as we think. In the past, when I was young, I often imagined that if I lost my relatives, my grandparents, my parents, what would I be like? Every time I think about it, I cry my eyes out. But later, when I grew up, I read more. With my experience and knowledge, I look at death more gently. And when I think about my relatives, I don't cry anymore. I'm afraid. When I think about their death, when I was young, there was something strange. I didn't know if anyone was like me. I often practiced with myself. I often practiced thinking about my relatives. If they die, what should I do? And I practiced thinking about how to stay calm. Because in the books I read, as well as in the books I mentioned in the past, they all talk about the fact that when a relative dies, we cry, we do this and that. In fact, we are confusing the way they are brought back to their home. And we make it much more difficult for them to leave. It's so confusing because they can't leave because they look at their children like that. And many other things. In fact, we are helping them or we are obstructing their path. And when I read the book about the journey to the East, and the book about the journey to the West, I see some points in it that talk about the experience of a dead person and what kind of obstacles they go through. And the fact that they are bound to these obstacles will make their escape much more difficult. I don't have a religion. I listen to all the religions that speak well. I can quote a part of the book called The Birth of a People. There is a part where a character goes to a friend's house and they see an old man's soul. In my opinion, this person can communicate with that old soul and that old man is the accountant of the owner of this house. But this owner has been around for a long time because they keep a promise that they have to protect the book. And you know that the accountant in the accounting books will keep secret information. It's the same now. So they don't want to reveal this information because they are dead and they haven't been able to handle that book. So they just wander around this house to find a way to handle this book. Then this man, the one who can communicate with that soul and understand the problem helped this person burn the book. In the moment he burned the book, this soul also disappeared. I give an example like that so that you can see that the fact that they have to keep promises or they still have too many burdens or worries in this world makes them unable to walk. When we cry too much we make it quite dramatic. I don't know how to say it. But it's like you know how it will be when you die. They are so sad that they can't walk and they look at their children like that. They can't walk either. And the thing that I see when I'm in Vietnam I think that when you die, that's how it is. And you know when you die, it's scary, right? You have a feeling, it's shaking. But when I live abroad and recently I experienced a situation right next to my neighbor's house their son died. Their son was only 20 years old. But there was no noise, no crying, it was not as terrible as what we see at home. I don't want to talk about whether you can cry or not. Who doesn't cry when their loved ones die? But the way they mourn makes me feel so light. And I don't feel scared like before. I know that everyone who lives abroad feels the same way as me. When my neighbor's son dies they don't need to build a grave or anything. And when everyone knows the news they bring flowers to their house. And a few days later, when they have a date, they go to the funeral. And the people around them will read and share their feelings. I think that's great and meaningful. It's also a way for us to know about their journey. How they lived, what they did so that we can remember and know about them. If we keep crying if we keep mourning they won't be able to live again. But when we sit down and talk about what they did, what they went through when they grew up I think it's very meaningful. It's more than just crying. And as I said, crying makes the soul hard to leave. And the atmosphere of a funeral abroad is also very light. Of course there are tears but I feel like there's something I use the word humanity or I feel like there's something light love and it's very special that I've never experienced in Vietnam when I've seen a lot of funerals. But what I really like here is that the owners are not tired in receiving guests or they have to worry about communication and they have more time to rest. I highly appreciate this. And back to what I said that life is prepared for death I see that instead of we have to avoid facing the fact that one day we will die we should read and understand about it. In my opinion, we are afraid of things that we don't know about. And when we understand about it we will feel more prepared and less afraid. So it will be easier for the person who is about to die and the loved ones to stay. If everyone understands about this it will be easier to move forward. I once read somewhere I don't know if it's correct but I read that when foreigners raise their children like dogs or cats it's also a way for them to train their children to face death when they lose something close to them. I was surprised when I read that I saw that they prepare their mind very well. And when they prepare their mind well when they face everything it will be less stressful. And back to talking about the soul. As I said, I read that the soul when they die and they see the people around them suffering like that they don't want to leave and they want to protect. But you should also know that when a person is alive when they lose their ability it can only last that long. So asking for their help like asking for your help to do this test is impossible. Because their ability to live when they die is the same. They don't know how to do math to help you. They don't know how to do business to help you do business. And asking for their help is also a way for me to pull them back. Because I need their help. How can the parents be satisfied even if they can't do it. So when I know this I never ask my grandparents to help me with this. If I have a gift for my grandparents I only ask them to take care of themselves. I always say that when I know it. It's my way to do it. It's up to you. But you can also read about the ability of the dead. When a person dies how they move forward step by step. Then you will understand better. And I believe that when you understand it better it will make you feel more relaxed in facing the death of your loved ones. And it's not that we lose them in something. We just lose this substance and we can't touch them anymore. We can't hug them as usual. We are losing a physical presence. We are losing a physical interaction that we are used to. And when we go back we will see them. They will do this and that to us. And if we understand that we are all one. We all come from one place and we come here to experience with each other in the life of family, friends, relatives. And this body is a shell that is left outside for us so that we can experience it. And our soul is eternal. We don't die. We will meet again in another place. Then we will be easier. It's not easy as I said. It's easy and there is no emotion. But it will make us feel more comfortable. If you read about it you will feel that it prepares us a thought that I think everyone should read. Everyone should read to understand what death really is like. Is it terrible? Is it really a permanent loss like we usually think? And next is life and preparation for death it's not just about how to understand death but we know that one day, who doesn't have to die? Right? Who doesn't have to die? There is nothing that lasts forever. If it's for things like if you look at it now it's just for now. It doesn't mean that it will be there in the future. So there is nothing that lasts forever. If we understand that we will know that we will die anyway. But if we die we will know that we will die anyway so let's live now. Let's do what we want to do. Let's be kind and don't think about harming anyone. I really believe in the cause and effect. But this cause and effect is not just in Buddhism or in religion but in everyday life the West also has similar sayings like what goes around comes around and the cause and effect is just like we know English it will have cause and effect it always exists in life so everyone dies so why don't we live a meaningful and kind life instead of living in a mutual life where we have to calculate and harm each other and the most harmful person is us we think that we calculate something to harm someone but in the moment that we have to calculate we are not at peace our brain doesn't sleep well so living like that is too tiring we have wasted a life and the cause and effect I don't think it leaves anyone it's just that we don't have enough intelligence to see it all or people still think that there are people who live evil and they haven't seen anything but actually we don't have enough intelligence to see all the things that are happening around that person it's not just something about the physical appearance the most horrible thing is the spiritual form in general, we shouldn't care about what the other person is like and what they are hoping for instead, we should focus on our life so we are wasting our time in a meaningful way and I keep thinking about this when I see the funerals abroad it makes me think if one day I die I want someone to talk about me share about my life how I live with everyone and what I have done that is something that I feel very meaningful for the dead and for the dead but there is also a case when we die we receive a lot of people see us die and they are very happy or they think it's worth it or I think they understand me it makes me think when a person dies everyone hopes that other people think of them as a symbol or something meaningful no one wants to die so what should we do? from this moment on we should live meaningfully live with sincerity so that when we die the people around us feel that they have met a wonderful person they have known a wonderful person I feel that is the most wonderful thing but a soul when they come to this world and when they die they want to experience it's not just a big cry or a big funeral they will not feel happy I think everyone feels everyone wants to leave something behind everyone wants this society this person to look at us with admiration with love so we can't just want but we don't do anything the best way is right from this moment I think it's never too late no matter how old you are so that we can start to change and live in the present don't waste any moment in the present if we want to do something let's just do it of course don't harm anyone but experience do what you want help, love, let go then we will see that this life is much more meaningful because when we die we can't bring anything except the experiences in our memory so when we understand this I hope you can read books about the experiences of souls then you will see it's different from the thought that we think death is the end and it's not terrible it's not as terrible as we usually think then we will have a preparation about how we will face the loss of our loved ones I practice it for many years not everyday but I often think about it when I read those books I often think about it and at first I feel it's painful but with the thoughts that I have in those books I gradually train my brain to understand the nature of the loss of a soul out of a body then gradually I feel it's getting better I do that not to completely avoid the pain I do that just to have a better preparation for the unusual things that can happen in the future that we can't imagine and I do that because I don't want to block my loved ones I don't want them to be bound by anything in this world and I want them to continue their journey that's what I want and of course we will cry but there are many ways to cry but to avoid crying to the point where we feel depressed we even have thoughts that will harm us when we lose a loved one we can only read and understand about them then it will slowly lead us to have a stronger preparation to face them none of our loved ones want to see us like that they definitely want to see their children their loved ones continue to live and live well and I think they wish because they can tell their loved ones that they are not in pain they are fine and as long as they are fine it will be easy for them to leave and all of the frustration the inability to leave comes from the things that they haven't done yet they are still trapped in their wishes in their plans in the pain of their loved ones worrying about their children and their loved ones they want to stand here and observe how their children will grow up they think they will leave when their children grow up but when they grow up they have a family and they want to see if their children are happy if they are okay how will they grow up and that cycle continues so they can't leave forever but if we are prepared and understand that we will leave and one day we will have to say goodbye to this world then we are prepared when we leave this body as I said what we understand knowledge everything we have until the time we die when we die we will only have that much in that knowledge we know that this life will continue we will leave and continue the next life and everyone will have to live that life our children will have their next life and they will have to leave and we come here to experience to learn for our soul to develop and we understand when we leave we will leave and when we understand we can tell our children to prepare their soul and if everyone prepare their soul then the unexpected will make it easier for us to accept it if we don't know anything and we still think we will lose this person forever we will never meet again but if we talk about meeting again if you have religion or if you have knowledge even in foreign books doctors who do plastic surgery they also conclude that we have the fate to meet again we have met somewhere so we can meet again so we will not never meet again we just forget each other and we play different roles to continue to experience this life so that we can learn so that our soul can develop not that we will never meet again but the point is we are human we have to see with our eyes so that we can hear clearly and if we can see clearly then we can be convinced if we don't experience it it will be very difficult we are also like that but at the same time we have to accept that not everything is black and white if so, we will close all the possibilities and there are many things we don't know but if we ask for the answer we will continue to close the opportunities to explore we can't explain it now it doesn't mean we can't explain it if it's true, we never want to find it and give it a chance so before we believe that we will lose this person forever and can't meet again why don't we look for the answers so that when you find out and read it yourself you will be able to conclude and give yourself your own feelings it's better than just listening to yourself I will list some books that you can refer to in the description one more thing I want to say is not just until we have a problem with the disease we start to think about what we should do and prepare for the future I see people abroad do this very early I think many people know this when I had a baby I was advised to do this because if I die what will happen to my baby they talk about death like it's a business it's something everyone has to face and they look at it very realistically it's not that they are afraid to talk about it if you were in Vietnam and someone told you that you should do this what if you die you will probably go crazy and think that this person is just talking about bad luck I don't believe in that it's not because I believe and think that it's bad luck that your head is broken and you don't focus on other things it's just bad luck and as I said people in the West talk about it very realistically and they are prepared for it so when death happens no matter who it is it's not as intense as at home because they understand it so when I was advised to do this for my baby if I die what will happen to my baby who will be responsible for my baby that's something you should think about and the second thing is how to do post-mortem I thought about it and after I watched 2 or 3 movies all of them talked about the death of 3 characters but they were so cute and they didn't have any dark colors and it was just a part of the movie so for example there was a movie where she was sick and she refused to get treatment because she knew that she would be very tired and she wouldn't have time to enjoy her life so she chose to refuse and because she was a drama actress she decided to hold a party and invite everyone and she said I really hate people who say bad things about me and especially good things because I can't hear when I'm dead so I will hold a party and everyone will dress up like Romeo and Juliet and everyone will share their thoughts about her and talk to her so she can have a memorial instead of doing it after she dies so now she can do it before she dies and she will find it more meaningful the second thing is there was a movie about a 19-20 year old girl who lost her mother and in the funeral the coffin was not black but pink everyone had to wear pink she didn't like black and she was not allowed to cry so you can see how people who know they will die they were very gentle and they prepared a lot for that they didn't look down on her and when I saw that I was very inspired and I decided I remember I posted on my Facebook I forgot how I entered and there was a section if you die who can use your account and do something I authorized my friends I did that and I told my friend if I die suddenly I don't want my family and most of my friends were not allowed to cry and I don't have to hide I just cried and they told me I was not allowed to burn incense and you must wear full color but I told my friend it was a bit much because they like to judge my friend but I also said that I didn't want to wear a black outfit I didn't need to wear a mask I didn't need anything too much I wanted everyone to come and sit and talk I wanted my audience to be like in a foreign country gentle and talk to each other I didn't want my relatives to have to struggle in serving others come to eat and drink I really wanted my relatives to rest at that time I also said that I wanted to turn on the music in the house gentle music no noise I don't like that I want it to be like that so I prepared things like that so that when I make a mistake they will follow and I think everyone will say do like that I want to tell you if you live just to be beautiful to please everyone then what do we live here for? we have the right to live to be free and does this harm anyone? no why do we have to live to please everyone while there is nothing wrong and all these things we do is just to hope that everything will be more gentle so that our relatives can rest so that our relatives have the remaining last moments not have to clean up worry about this and that then at the end of the funeral I don't want my relatives I don't want to do things like that at that time they have gone through a emotional shock they need peace they need protection they need help it's not like they have to go to work worry about other things and have to please everyone I don't want that and I think those who listen to my channel are those who have a very progressive mind and when I say this to my friends they also support I think we will meet next week so I really hope this podcast will touch the people next to me so that this is not a place where I just share what I say but I also hope to hear the thoughts of people with me we find each other naturally and we share the good things the new things as long as we don't hurt anyone I think there is nothing wrong but the purpose in our hearts is to be good to everyone why do I want to create a space that only light candles but not incense and wear clothes don't wear black clothes don't wear white clothes and turn on the music it's not natural that I choose that for fun first people always think about the dead I want to do for the dead so on the altar people have to choose the food of the dead so that's what I want I am a person who is afraid of incense and incense for me is it really doing for me? or just to do for everyone? obviously the dead is me I'm afraid of incense so to make me feel safe I have to light candles because I just like to light candles I used to light candles in my house and I really like candles I feel safe and calm about turning on the music I like to listen to the music and I know that the music has a scientific effect that has been proven and people have studied and used it in psychological treatment and applied to many countries for example in New Zealand people have tried to turn on the music of Petrovance in that area and they found that the crime rate was significantly reduced which means that the world has recognized that the music of the dead has the ability to heal so I don't need to talk about it anymore it doesn't belong to psychology it belongs to science so obviously my goal is to make it a space where instead of people suffering the music can be part of it and the second thing is not wearing black because it will create a more gloomy space it is like emphasizing the fact that there is a death here because I want to change the perspective of my brain because if in our culture we all know that when we go to a funeral we wear black in the West also so we have a set in our head about a funeral so if we want to change we change the environment it will change the feeling of the brain to think about that and I also think it is convenient for example people who never have black because they have seen a funeral they have to find a black shirt or even buy a black shirt simply in our house at that time my husband went to hold a funeral of my mother-in-law my husband has never worn a black shirt when he went to a funeral he had to find a black shirt I don't want to create more problems for the living and I don't want them to do more I want everything to be easy and simple just a funeral to say goodbye to that person if I force them to do more will my death cause too much trouble it's not just a shirt you see eating, drinking so I want everything to be simple and light of course I have no opinion about those who continue to follow the traditional culture and I will follow it I'm just sharing from my point of view I don't want to bother others I don't like building a fence I don't like noise I also see that building a fence can block the road I just want everything to be light everyone can come to my house and we can meet and talk I don't want it to be too much I'm afraid of making things too big I don't like that it's like when people want to propose in front of many people I don't like that I'm afraid of that so I think everyone should be prepared and have a plan so that our relatives can do it it's also a plan that we should think not just wait I think this culture is very good when we have a child we should be prepared not just wait actually everyone can see for example if we die but we don't have a plan for our child we don't know what will happen to our child so we should prepare a plan how to prepare our thoughts how to prepare our relatives how to live we should think about it it's a long preparation those things like I said in a simple way but the preparation of spirit and consciousness how to understand how to live for today so that our death is not regret that we live in vain and when we die we know that day we don't do that or we know that day we live better it's too late it doesn't matter so this preparation I think we should do it from now as soon as possible and the forms are too simple it's too fast we don't know when to do it and this is a change about consciousness and how to live so we should do it as soon as possible slowly so that we can eat deep in our consciousness we can't do it it's not only about death it's about spirit about human about space I have a lot to share I started this series about spirit I hope it can reach everyone with the same thought and I hope I can hear your thoughts and I hope this podcast will bring a new breath a new thought when we look at death it's quite long compared to my normal podcast I will stop here and I hope we can meet again in the related topics and I wish you a peaceful podcast and I wish you a happy and meaningful day