The Lie Of Positive Thinking - Kapil Gupta MD

I know you're not a big proponent of positive psychology, positive self-talk, whatever you want to call it, but isn't that better than its opposite? I'm not looking for what's better and worse. Do I care that if there's two war zones, I want to go to the one that has more sunshine? This is the cloudy war zone. I don't care. That's a boring question to me. Why would I ask that question? And why would you ask it? Why would you ask the question that if two things are useless, which one is less useless? Who cares? Why would you not ask the question, what is the ultimate? Well, tell me what the ultimate is. I asked you stupid questions so you can get me to the right questions. Well, the question is, what is the ultimate? The question is not, isn't positive thinking better than negative thinking? Okay, well, isn't. A sunny war zone is better than a cloudy one. That's right. So why live there? Why not live, okay, what way of approaching things does lead one to the ultimate? What questions That's exactly what I wanted to ask. So help me understand that then. By a desire to know what the truth about a situation is. What the reality is, as opposed to how should I think about it, what hack or mental model should I view this through, as opposed to wearing some colored lens. Or what with open eyes and no lenses at all, what is the reality of this particular situation? How does it sit naturally? Because once I know the truth about it, then I will be able to navigate through it unscathed. All right. Last question. A lot of people ask you about meditation. I know how you feel about meditation. Thank you very much. Do you not feel that it serves any purpose at all? to try to get me closer to the truth, a disingenuous question You're asking for what is the minimum, right? Do you not think that it gives you anything at all? And so the minute that I say yes, you'll say, see, so you should be meditation. No, I'm not going to say that. You should know me by now. Okay. Have you ever meditated? Yes, sure. Absolutely. And was that the clue to you that, hey, this doesn't work for me? Correct. It doesn't work for me. It doesn't work to get one to the ultimate. So it's a false construct. Absolutely. But I mean, it's like going for a jog. So someone could say, once again, it's all in how you phrase the question. Right? So you're saying, is jogging bad for you? No. Am I going to die if I meditate? No. But is that a useless question? Yes. The question is, does meditation help you in some way and make you feel a little better? Fine, yeah. It's a multivitamin, right? The question is, does it get you to the ultimate? The ultimate meaning arriving at no involuntary thought, arriving at freedom, you know, having really conquered all your emotions, arriving at peace. No, it doesn't. Let me just ask you one other thing. Help me understand the best way to phrase questions, because this really, I'm enamored. And very appreciative about how you do that for yourself. And I'm not asking for a prescription here, other than the fact I want to know from your perspective, what do you do to phrase questions that help you reflect appropriately, that help you reflect in the types of depth that's going to lead you to the truth? To myself or to someone else? Both. To yourself. I mean, certainly I'd like to get better at it for myself. To myself, it's on a whole other level. I have to sort of pare things down a little bit when I'm talking to another. I have to, to some degree, come at it from where they are. So what I'll say to you is when you talk to any clients of yours or people that you talk to, All right. it would be very dangerous of you to phrase things from the standpoint of the truth Because unless you have vetted these people. Um, uh, and, uh, no, for a fact that this is the wavelength that they really are on, it'll only spell disaster for you because like you said, a lot of people don't even know what that means. The truth, right? That's misconstrued in and of itself. Yeah. And that's why, you know, there has to be a vetting process. People who come to you should come after they have read your material or I've heard you talk or whatever, so that they know the atmosphere and the environment and the air and the plane in which they're entering into. So give me a sense of some questions. We started with the questions that fascinate you. How about some questions that you've asked yourself that intrigued you recently? I hate the word recently. Yes, it is. It's the same thing always, which is, what is it that I don't know? It's always that category of question. It's always, what is the real truth in this situation? And do you just keep drilling down until you find something? Or what are you doing? What is the truth in this situation that is not born of reactivity? That sits on its own? That doesn't need support? What is that independent truth that isn't based upon being supported by an idea from me or from anybody else? It is the quality and the nature. You're one of a kind. I appreciate it. We'll see.