The Big Hit (1998): Assassins Interrupt Mark Wahlberg’s Dinner

Hey. Hi, Mel. What you doing? Oh, nothing. How was your outing? Oh, it smells like good. Something's cooking. Oh, yeah. We're ready to eat when you are. Hello? Yo, dawg. This is Crunch. Oh, Crunch. What's up? Hold on one second. Can you guys excuse me for one second? Sure. Okay. Let's go. Hello? Yo, Crunch, man. What the f*** is going on? This is the place. Right here. I'm getting the f*** and you need to do the same now. I'm at the office today. Irish is planning a big hit. I said it should have some lanolin in it, not some goddamn aloe vera bulls**t, mother f**ker. Get it straight. It seems like some mother f**ker's done gone and kidnapped Paris' goddaughter. Some Japanese b**ch, our Japanese b**ch, you see what I'm saying? Look. You just gotta let him have it, point blank. It's over, kaput, that's it. Yeah, but mom, that just seems very harsh. Cisco's trying to save himself, and he's after all of us. He got gum. I'd like to propose a toast. To my wife, a lovely woman who for the past eight years has cost me over $200,000 in plastic surgery bills. And what was the end result of all that surgery? A 57-year-old woman with the face of a beautiful 25-year-old ape. Oh, Morton! Shut your p**k! I'll have you know that many men have found me to be a ravishing creature. Don't you think I'm attractive still? A ravishing creature? Yes, certainly true. Yeah, sure. I agree. You're a creature. Martin, just sit down. You're drunk. To my darling daughter, Pamela. Princess, my only child, and the source of constant pride to degenerate, manipulative, gold-digging leeches the world over, which leads me to my would-be son-in-law, Melvin, who's very charming in a Rain Man kind of way, but obviously not good enough for some parties. Daddy, I think that you better take your seat. Honey, sit down and shut your mouth. I'm working, please. Sit down! Now, where was I? Oh, so. The first thing we do when we meet this young man is have a big fight. Then the young man comes to me like Sidney Poitier in Guess Who's Coming to Dinner, a fine film, I might add. And he proclaims, I will not marry your daughter unless I have your blessing. To which I say, she doesn't deserve you. You deserve to be in an environment of tolerance and brotherhood. When I see four men of different races, colors, and creeds sitting together at the dinner table, it fills me with hope that you'll see my friends do for me what this country is all about. No! Let go! Oh, gross, you nasty mother... Who's the bonus? We're still friends. I just need a little space right now. I still love you, baby. Yeah, just like you love Cal Pump or himself, Mel. Pam, were you going to break up with me? Uh, yeah. I guess this is goodbye then, Mrs. Shulman. Yes, yes. I'm sorry about the meal and all. So, Shay, four hours off our drive. We're right back where we started, you f***ing idiot. He's an animal. I should have found the money. Don't worry, old friend. He's not going to hurt her right now. She's the only insurance he's got. Here we go.