ExclusiveThe Virtues of the Ancients in Life Today | Vietnam Within Us

Welcome to Vietnam Within Us. As a child, I thought what the ensign said about virtue has remained confined to old books, along with the way of life of a generation long gone. When I began reading about women's virtues and traditional culture, I came across four words: work, appearance, speech, conduct. Back then, those four words felt both beautiful and distant. I understood each one, but not why people of all value So many of the things that seem so ordinary in a woman's daily life. And only when I grew up and started a family, experiencing joys and sorrows of my own, Did I see that these teachings were closer? more real than I had ever thought. The more I read about the ancients, The more I thought about the women who passed through my childhood. I realized that what I once sought The books had been beside me all along. I just hadn't been old enough to understand. In my childhood, I see Grandma's hands always busy sewing and embroidering, picking greens, cooking rice or repairing an old item that could last a bit longer. I often sat beside her, practicing one stitch at a time. Sometimes, I tangled the entire thread and fumbled. not knowing how to reverse it. She never scolded. She patiently worked the tangle loose, Handed the thread back and told me to keep going. I didn't think I was learning anything significant. To me, it was just what grandma did every day And I got to sit next to her and copy Only when I grew up and had a home of my own to look after Did I realize how much care lies behind the small tasks repeated every day? A meal repaired A house kept tidy And old things repaired instead of thrown away All of it requires patience and a pair of hardworking hands. These things happen so quietly that we grow accustomed to them. and forget that someone gave their time and effort to make them happen. Looking back at what Grandma did, I understood that the word "work" I had read In the book, it was never far away. It had been there in the small things she quietly did every day, Things I once thought too familiar to notice. As for appearance, I once thought it was first and foremost about looks. But in my memory, the women who left an impression was not necessarily beautiful or elaborately dressed. I remember them for being clean and tidy, and for always staying well-groomed no matter how busy life became. They carry a natural dignity. that never needed to win attention or praise. My mother was the same. From the small ways she took care of herself and her life, I gradually realized that a woman can dedicate a great deal of her time to her family. and still needs to take care of herself. She does it to maintain her self-respect. and her composure amidst the worries of everyday life, not to stand out. So when I think of appearance now, I no longer think only about whether someone is pretty. I think about how a woman keeps herself neat. and dignified in a manner befitting her life. If work is tied to what a person does each day, My speech begins with what my grandmother and my mother taught me as a child. To greet people, to speak politely, to respect elders to choose words with care, and to know that not everything What's on your mind needs to be said right away. As a child, I thought these were simply manners that kids had to learn. Later, through relationships and life's ups and downs, I came to understand the way What a person says reveals a great deal about how they view others. I have met people who never spoke in flowery words. or tried to appear clever, yet talking with them always felt so effortless. They knew when to ask and when to remain silent, what could Simply stated, and what was better left unsaid so no one got hurt. Life has taught me so deeply that a single word can carry more weight than we realize. Some sentences take a few seconds to say, Yet the listener may remember them for a long time. To me, speech means more than just polite conversation. It means keeping your word with restraint. and putting yourself in the other person's shoes before you speak. Of the four, it is the one I think about the most. because it rarely reveals itself in appearance or word. I remember the women I met growing up. Some spent a whole year taking care of their families. Others worked and kept house simultaneously and never spoke of what they had done for others. They simply lived that way. doing their part, keeping their word yielding when necessary, and pausing to think before making any decision that might touch the people beside them. As a child, I saw them as ordinary women. Later, I came to think that this very ordinariness The hardest thing to keep. Anyone can live well for a few days. Keeping kindness and responsibility through exhaustion, Being wrong, and going unnoticed, are quite different matters. Some qualities need no words. You can sense them in how a person treats their family. the people around them, and their own choices. Perhaps deceit lies mostly in how a person holds herself over the years, especially when no one is there to witness them I once thought the values belonged to a time gone by the time I met the women of today's generation at work. One college student got up early to do the housework before work. Then went home to her family when the day ended. She spoke that rhythm so naturally, as if it were merely the life she had chosen and the duty she owed. Another told me that we should choose our words carefully with anyone. because we never know what the other person is carrying inside. Their words sound so familiar. Women's lives today are vastly different from those of previous generations. They have jobs, careers, and choices of their own. And they decide their own lives. Yet diligence, self-respect, measured speech, and a sense A sense of responsibility can still be found in these very modern people. A woman today can work, build a career, have a voice of her own, and decide her own life. None of these changes render the old values obsolete. In a life with ever more choices and no small share of pressure, doing your part well, taking care of yourself, saying the right word at the same time, And holding yourself back from what you shouldn't do still matters. I read the answers and found what I was looking for. had been with me all along in my own childhood. It was in my grandma's hands, in my mother's reminders, and in the way the women around me lived. As a child, I saw it every day, and it seemed nothing special. Only after I had left childhood far behind and lived through life's joys and sorrows, Did I understand? that these seemingly ordinary things had quietly helped raise me. Now, I'm a mother too. And that makes me think more about how These values are passed from one person to another. You may forget many of the things I told you You may not remember every story. And every time I reminded you to be polite, To love, and to think of others But you'll see how I talk with your grandparents and relatives. How I treat a stranger How I stay calm when things go wrong How I care for our family And how I treat myself What I see every day can feel closer and last longer Than what I try to teach you Thinking of this, I remember those hours beside grandma. Stitching one stitch after another and entangling the thread She never sat me down to explain work, appearance, speech, or conduct. Nor did she say she was passing on anything from the incense. She patiently untangled the thread. Handed it back and told me to keep going Back then, I was only learning how to thread a needle. And sew each stitch But only with those small tasks I was seeing a way of living that I would fully understand only much later Some things we understand only after living through a stretch of life And only then understand why they were given to us What grandma taught, what my mother did, and how the women around me lived As a child, I only saw them without understanding. But today, they have become what I want to keep in my own life. I don't know if I can give you a perfect lesson. What I can do is live in such a way that you will come to understand is also present in the way I lived each day. So that one day, when you have grown and entered a life of your own, in some very ordinary task or very familiar moment, You may remember me just as today. Through the years that have passed, I still remember Grandma.