Chloe's Cheat Sheet

Some details on how to have the best relationship with your student, your teacher, your child. Parent-teacher conferences usually only last a short amount of time, so you want to make the most of that time. So what are some of the questions parents should be asking when meeting up with your child's teacher? Well, we have an expert for you who just happens to know both sides of this story. Chloe Kaplan here with her cheat sheet. Good to see you once again. Good morning. So good to be here. You know, we kind of nailed it. You have a short amount of time. The teacher and the student, they see each other all the time. The parent doesn't get involved that much. So let's start with that. How should the parent make the most of that time? So it can feel really high stakes because, as you said, you have such a limited amount of time. So I want to offer a reframe off the bat. And the reframe is you're not going in as a cross-examination of the teacher or a performance review of your child. You're going in to hopefully collect information about your child in the classroom and leave with a collaborative plan created between parent and teacher to give you insight for the next few weeks to support the child's success. What are some of the ways that the parent can, I guess, best frame the situation, right? Because you might hear behavioral differences that your child is having in the classroom versus what you might see at home. Exactly. So there are some questions that I like to ask, and I think that the first one is always, when does my child feel the most confident? Because a teacher sees that in the classroom in a very different way from how you might see it at home. They can see when they're smiling ear to ear. They can see if it's a subject that feels trickier. So I always like to start with, when does my child feel most confident or seem most confident in the classroom? And that gives you insight beyond the report card. The second one is sort of the flip side of that. So when does it seem like my child is struggling the most or needs the most support? And what do they do? So again, beyond the report card, are they crumbling? Are they acting distracted? Oftentimes, there can be a little misbehavior when they're confused about something that's happening. So what is the teacher seeing? And then the third question is the most important question, and that is what can we as parents do to support you as a teacher in helping our child? Let's go on the flip side of things. If you hear something, and I'm going for the parent role here, if you hear something from the teacher that raises a red flag and you're like, that doesn't sound like my child, What are some of the things that really we shouldn't be addressing or responding in a certain way to what the teacher has to say? I love this question because it's so important. Nothing is off limits and no concerns are off limits, but the phrasing is very important. So a defensive reaction like, well, we never see that at home, not helpful. But an offering of something that works at home, like when we see them frustrated at home, sometimes we try this when it's spoken in a collaborative spirit can be really helpful. So feel free to express all of your concerns, but make sure that the tone and the phrasing is collaborative and not accusatory. Teachers don't like that. All right, two quick things to get through. One, I don't know how much parents love this opportunity. Some enjoy it. Some don't. But you want to have that good relationship with the teacher because they're teaching your children. So what's the best way for the parent and the teacher to foster their relationship? Okay, it's gratitude. so walking in and thanking the teacher off the bat identifying one thing that your child really enjoys about their class even if let's be honest it might not be a child that you're a teacher that your child loves it is so important to identify just one thing they love morning meeting they come home talking about how much they love how you've decorated the library whatever it is starting off with a thank you and then also ending with a thank you and a collaborative offering of let's support one another going forward. Please let us know how we can be helpful to you. So the last thing, and I want you to take off your teacher hat for a moment. Okay. Put your mom hat on. I can do that. I balance them all the time. I wear a lot of hats. But if in fact you go through this process, right? And as the parent, now you hear from the teacher, well, your child might act this way in a classroom, which you're like, okay, it doesn't sound right. Now you get back home, right? You have to address this with the child and ask questions to the child about why is the teacher saying you're acting in this particular manner? How do you address that with the child? Really good question. Gently and again, not accusatorily. It's the phrasing that really matters. So we heard from your teacher that they're seeing this in the classroom. Does that sound, does that, and you can tell off the bat because children do not have great hides. Their expressions are really apparent. So if it's a immediate kind of like turning bright red, the teacher might be right. And if the child really is flabbergasted by it, it might be a disconnect that is worth bringing up with the teacher and saying like, how can we get on the same page here? How can we help our child in whatever the situation is? I love, I love open communication. You can ask Kiefer. He's like, not this again. But I think openly communicating with your child about what the teacher has expressed is very important. All right. Well, next time you bring him in, we might just ask him that as well. Listen, it's all great advice. We encourage you to reach out to Chloe if you have questions as well maybe can help you out personally in the meantime we'll see you again soon for another Chloe's cheat sheet thanks Chloe can't wait all right what's coming up makia all right