HOW TO STOP A NARCISSIST FROM “GROOMING” YOU!! #narcissist #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #npd

Good morning, y'all. I'm out here in the park this morning because it's so cool. I just came outside to enjoy the coolness. It's been like 100, 102 all week in New York, and I guess it rained last night, and it's just so cool. So I'm in the park enjoying this before it heats up again, but I want to talk about grooming. You know, how the narcissist moves in to groom you so that you stay stuck in the trauma bond so that they can continue to abuse you and I don't care if this is your mother your father your lover baby daddy husband wife school teacher they all do the same thing alike um and I'm so glad that I brought up my story about the dance teacher who was mistreating me you know me being the only black woman in his class he's a white Brazilian teacher if y'all been following the story i don't want to go back go watch the videos to catch up on the story but you know it took several months before he started slowly you know abusing emotionally abusing me like making me feel invalidated doing little sneaky ---- here and there i i left out in the video like one time i kept trying to email him for private lessons because i would take his classes but i would want to do private sessions with him to practice what i learned in his workshops and i noticed like he was avoiding my Facebook messages right like they were going unread but then when I would go to the workshop the next time I saw him opening up his schedule to a male he was helping the dude book private sessions but he was ignoring me so I picked that up too but what what I learned from all this and what I'm trying to teach y'all as you deal with more and more of these narcissists whether they're your family your friends your co-worker your boss teacher whatever they all move the same way it's a demonic spiritual and you may not be able to pick up on the red flags right away that's what I was doing in this the situation with the teacher to make sure you know to stop gaslighting myself I had to collect evidence so when he did some funny ---- the first time I was like all right antennas up but I don't have enough evidence yet to jump out there and call you a narcissist, but this is some narcissist ----, but I'm just going to be quiet and peep you. So the more that he continued to do the, you know, microaggressions, micro invalidations, micro exclusions, covert racism, sexism, all that ----. I was collecting, I was taking mental notes that I was collecting evidence. And this is a business exchange, by the way, this is not the same as a lover, a romantic situation or a situation with your family. This is a business exchange this is a good lesson for how to deal with narcissists in the business world you know when you're doing business with them because in a sense you have to keep your emotions out of it even though you're trying to get something out of the business transaction i'm paying for a service i'm paying you know to learn dance lessons so if you're paying your money and the person on the other side happens to be a covert narcissist um they're not going to immediately start acting funny because they're not going to immediately start abusing you because they want your money. So they too, I'm dropping some game here. When we're doing business with narcissists and most of us, we do business every day with these motherfuckers. I live in New York and I can go to a bodega and a lot of them motherfuckers is racist. Black folks, we get, we are the biggest consumers. We give our money to anybody. The motherfuckers hate our ass, but they love taking our money so in a business exchange a business exchange when you're doing business let's say with a covert narcissist he's not going to come out on the jump with with his toxicity he's going to be super nice because he want that money up out of you so my black sisters and my hispanic sisters my beautiful women of color it don't matter like i said in my last video it don't even ******* matter we are met with microaggressions no matter where we go you you you could take your child to school and the motherfucking school teacher will ******* be throwing slight shade at you and saying indirect ---- it's everywhere it's like we cannot catch a ******* break for ---- but I want to you know I want to uh there's so many gems and learning lessons in in my story about the dance instructor and that that's why I share with y'all I don't come on here to be judged I come on here to be transparent so that we all collectively can take notes and and beat these motherfuckers so that we can beat these motherfuckers so what I'm teaching y'all in this video is how to shut down the grooming how a narcissist a narcissist will spin the block to come and groom you we know they hoover when you cut them off they try to hoover around or if you try to distance yourself because you know you you catch it onto their bullshit they will try to come back around because they need to re they need to reinforce the trauma bond they need you in one spot to keep abusing and abusing and that's what happened with the dance teacher because a lot of y'all was like he don't like you yeah he don't like me but there was a moment when I started gathering you know evidence and stuff. And I said, wait a minute, something right here. My last class with him was January 7th, 2025. And I had a discussion with him. I texted, he gave me his phone number to make himself, I don't even know why he gave me his phone number. Cause he act like he wasn't reading his Facebook messages when I was trying to, you know, book him for private sessions. He was reading my messages. He was avoiding me. Then what I did was I posted on the public community board on Facebook I said hey guys since he was avoiding me you know trying to get private sessions I posted a public notice and for the entire Brazilian Zouk community I said hey y'all I'm looking for someone to teach me private lessons I will pay you please private DM me if you're interested okay and I got a lot of responses a lot of people say hey I'll work with you what are you you know what are you looking for in a dance instructor so publicly I listed I said hey you know I'm autistic I have a developmental disability so I definitely need someone as patient someone you know I don't want to deal with a covert narcissist an asshole someone that is very gentle and I listed all that this is publicly so the whole community is reading my my public posts and he saw my public posts so now he wants to read his Facebook messages after dodging me for several weeks. And he slides in my Facebook. It's like, hey, here's my phone number. I'm sorry about the messages. Sometimes I'm not able to, you know, get on here and read my message. OK, we're communicating on Facebook message. Why are you offering me your phone number? I don't want your phone number. I didn't ask for your phone number. I simply want to book private session. So he knows he's guilty because he was dodging me for weeks and he sees now that I mean this is I'm trying to get good at dancing Brazilian Zouk and I'm willing to pay for private sessions he sees I'm not I've been the only black girl for several months in his class and I think it bothers him that I didn't give up I've seen black women come and go they might stay a class or two and then they just fall out I was persistent I kept going and going I never missed my classes he saw that I really wanted to learn Brazilian Zouk and I think that bothered him. So now I'm publicly posting on the board. I need private sessions. I'm willing to pay. Everybody's responding to me. So now he's in my inbox. Hey, here's my phone number. And I'm like, why is he offering me his phone number? Answer your Facebook messages. I don't need your phone number. And we did text on his, you know, his, his phone number, but he was behaving. He went back to ignoring me when I text him the same behavior on Facebook, ignoring me. he just did it when I started texting him so I said he gave me his phone number to make himself feel better so that I wouldn't expose him publicly for being an asshole but I text him and I told him um you know in my last class with him January 7th I basically said um I'm tired of going to these these social parties and nobody wants to dance with me because of the color of my skin I feel alienated I will not be supporting these parties no more blah blah blah and from that point on me texting him directly to his his his phone number he ignored me he didn't text me back and say you know Chanel you need to keep coming we encourage you to keep coming you know we're sorry that you feel that way he he just went silent so i didn't see him after january 7th i didn't see him for five months straight because i did not go to parties i did not go i did not support his workshops i was done last month in may there was a dance convention in toronto canada okay it's called um canada zouk congress czz canada so i flew to toronto at the end of may and it's a massive dance um convention for brazilian zouk so we got people flying in from all over the world it's it's a beautiful event i had an amazing time he happened to be one of the dance instructors there and not and me after not seeing him for five straight months because I picked up on his behavior him you know blowing me off him being a racist doing this you know misogyny racist ---- ableist ---- to me not seeing him for five months straight I run into him at this dance convention in Toronto it's like he acted like nothing even happened he came up to me, hug me and squeeze me tight, I guess you know I felt my boobs press up against his chest and still he doesn't say Chanel we miss you, come back, you know he's making small talk about the event, oh I hope you're having a good time, but bitch why is you hugging me first of all number two you still will not address my concerns about the racism and three you have not invited me back to come to the socials, I have not seen you in five months straight and this, you still on that bullshit, but you're trying to play in my face and be nice and you want to hug up on me this is where I caught the grooming, this is a hoovering attempt to to groom and keep me in position, he wants me to come back to the socials he's not going to ask me to come back but by him hugging me he wants me to forget about what he did in the past and keep going back to the the socials and keep taking his workshops so he can re-abuse me. This is how all narcissists are. It's how they groom and train their victims and reinforce that trauma bond. So if I was stupid and dense and didn't understand any of this, I would accept his hug as, oh, he does like me Maybe I shouldn't judge him so much. Maybe I should take another class. Maybe I should go back to the socials. Oh, he hugged me. He's not such a bad guy. No he hugged me to get me to drop my guard again so that I could go back to the abuse so he can pick up where he left off. That's how narcissists groom and train their victims. But because spiritual, I was, you know, and in Canada, I think that was my last opportunity. I was waiting to see if he would invite me back or even address the race, race, racism that I brought to his attention back in January he avoided it, he avoided it because he don't, he don't like black women, he don't like black people, he don't want black women at the socials but he enjoys bullying them, so if we do come back to the workshops and we do take the workshops, he can very covertly bully us, he got us right where it's like he needs us in place in order to bully us but he's not going to invite us back, he has to, he has to be slick about maybe if I hug her she'll get comfortable again and come back. It's like an indirect way of sucking your victim back in The narcissist is never going to admit to his guilt. He's never going to admit that he's abused you. He's not going to admit to ----. I want you to think back to your mother. A lot of y'all got abusive mothers. When your mama abuses you and you pull away from her, you stay away from her for a long time. She'll try to send people or if you try to, you know, if you let her back in, she might be nice to you for a couple of days. she might even buy you something they always nice they never talk about the ---- they did to you they they want to sweep it underneath the rug and they hope by being nice or buying you something that you'll forget everything and drop your guard and go back to the abuse that's that's how you are you're being groomed it's grooming that's all it is is grooming it's grooming y'all it's this is such a demonic spirit and it's just they they all move and do the same ---- all over and over again so what this dance instructor didn't realize is baby I know I know the whole playbook and once he realized that I distanced myself from the dance community and I was not going back he didn't see me for five months straight when he did see me again let me take this opportunity to try to you know I'm gonna hug her and get her to think that we cool and I hope that she can like dismiss all the ---- I did in the past because I want her to come back because I want to keep abusing her i want to keep abusing her that's why he hugged me y'all and that's why he didn't bring up the racism issue and that's why he didn't invite me back he was hoping that the hug him hugging me would be enough to signal hey it's okay come back we cool we cool again i didn't really mean the ---- i did but i need you to come back so i can i can pick up where i left off and keep abusing you behind the scenes that's called sadism the ************'s sadistic i hope y'all are learning in these lessons, you know, and I hope y'all learn that sometimes you got to fight back and you got to know, you got to know the timing of when to fight back and how to fight back and how to move smart. And I did it in a very, I did it in a very strategic way where I got other people. I formed alliances with black people. I got other black women to admit that he was, you know, doing the same ---- to them. And I got black men to address him without me interacting with him or or confronting him because you can never confront a narcissist and call them out on their bullshit but what you do is you put them in a position where you let them know indirectly bitch I know what you're doing I will ******* expose you publicly and ruin your whole ******* reputation in your fake facade spiritual whistleblower knows what she's doing y'all don't let the narcissist come back around to groom you don't let them play in your face honey oh so many gems out of my dance instructor story but anyway y'all have a blessed day I guess I'm I want to talk about a few celebrity topics coming up, by the way. I do plan to talk about the Real Housewives because I do believe Britt Eady is a ******* sociopath. That's a sick bitch. I want to talk about this Diddy trial. I do believe Diddy is going to be found guilty. There's so many sick people that are hoping and praying that he goes free. I hope y'all are paying attention to the people that are saying free Diddy. Pay attention to people in your family. Pay attention to your co-workers. they're all abusers anybody that supports Diddy after this ******* trial is a sick twisted ************ I'm not playing I'm blocking and cutting off anybody that supports that black he's gonna be found guilty I promise you he's gonna be found guilty um and what are some oh Fat Joe I need to talk about the Fat Joe um thing I want to talk about Clarissa and Papoose I don't usually talk about celebrities but I'm gonna make some videos y'all thank y'all for supporting me to the next video