My In-Laws Disowned Us But Still Want Their $75,000

Brought to you by the every dollar app. Start budgeting for free today. My wife, um, I went to DePaul and she, her father took out, uh, and she has two other siblings and older sister, younger brother. Her father took out a parent plus loan for all three of them. And, um, after, um, after everything happened with COVID and stuff and they reinstituted loan payments, um, the father had it set up where these payments were auto debited from his account. And then he expected his three children to individually. Um, somehow there's a system with points to figure out the amount, Zell him via the Zell app, that payment to replenish his bank account. Um, my, my wife and I were complying to that and doing that because as Christians, you know, we want to do the right thing. But then, um, there was an incident on mother's day over a year and a half ago where there was a disagreement. Um, they do not like that my wife converted to Christianity and was baptized. And they also do not like me. I'm a disabled, uh, police officer. And, um, they do not support my career, what I'm doing. And because of some mishaps, which have been apologized, multiple attempts of forgiveness, the father and mother and sister and brother have completely disowned me and my wife. Um, there has been zero communication to us for over that entire year and a half. And, uh, with that said, the father would, uh, is still wants the money. Um, I am conflated with morality on, um, what, there is no written agreement. There was no contract. Um, we're on fixed income and we simply want to understand, you know, you don't want a relationship with your daughter, but you want her money. And, um, with that said, does that, would that nullify? I mean, I understand legally the parent plus loan is in his name and it's auto debited from his account. It's also collective with the three students. It's not separate or individualized. Like my friend, for example, can log in on his own and pay from his own account, even though it was under his mother's name. It's not set up like that. It's all collective. And so I'm generally asking, should we continue to sell him this payment? Before your wife went to DePaul, he said, I'm going to take out a parent plus loan. And your wife looked at him and said, I will pay that. Or she went to DePaul and then he said, Oh, by the way, you owe a bunch of money. It was, uh, there really was no concrete conversation. Um, my wife and I've discussed this. It was more just, it was assumed it would be paid by the kids. They did mention verbally who assumed it. Did the kid assume it? Oh, the father. I know. But I mean, did your wife promise him that she would repay for her college at the, at the point before the loans were taken out? Did you know your personal info is getting bought and sold to people right now who use AI to target you with bizarrely personal scams and spam? Like, Hey, George, are you interested in selling your house at two 53 Sprague street? Well, lucky for you, there's delete me, delete me. As the name implies, goes to hundreds of creepy data broker sites and deletes your personal info over and over all year long. I use and love delete me because I can't stop scammers from using AI, but I can make myself much more difficult to target. So go to join delete me.com slash Ramsey and get 20% off an annual plan or click the link in the description. That's join J O I N delete me.com slash Ramsey. I believe there was a verbal agreement there possibly. But with that said, he's completely disowned. I understood that part. I'm asking about her promise. I'm not asking about his behavior. Yeah, I, I do not. Uh, according to my wife, there was a very brief conversation when he said, basically does she have any idea how much she owes? How much is owed David on her part? Uh, 70, I believe it's upwards of $75,000. We've attempted to ask even to lower the loan payment. And, um, he does not, he refuses to even sit down with accountability partner or somebody in a, in a public area to even discuss lowering the loan payment and anything like that. I believe the loan payment was attempted to be lowered with him and my wife once at which time the sister flipped out and made phone calls to have it readjusted so she could pay off her sooner. Cause it's all combined. At which point now, none of them are talking to us and refuse to even talk to us about this payment. How much is the payment a month? Um, it's $516 and about 35 cents roughly. How much do you guys make a year? Um, I'm a, I'm a disabled police officer on a fixed income of about, uh, I would say $80,000 a year. And my wife makes roughly, um, about 72 to $78,000 a year. Also. Okay. Uh, we live paycheck to paycheck right now. Other than it's unbelievably sad and ridiculous that he's disowned his daughter and still wants money. The issue, if I'm in your shoes, and that's what you're asking is, is this a moral obligation that your wife made regardless of the behavior of her father, you can't control his behavior. You can only control your behavior. And if she on a handshake said, I'm going to DePaul dad, borrow the money and I will pay you back. If that is the deal, that is the deal. Okay. And if it's not the deal, it's not the deal. And I can't tell from our conversation because it's still wishy-washy. If that's the deal, you said it was kind of implied parent thought it, and maybe there was a conversation with a 17 year old, but she has no very clear memory of it. I mean, I if I sat and looked her in the eyes, I don't think based on what you've said, she's going to slap her hand on the table and say, absolutely. I promised him I would pay it. I don't think she believes that she was under the, she was under the impression at the time of the loan, that the loan was taken out separately in her name. And it was not combined where she's paying. It doesn't matter. That's not the issue as well. The issue is, did she promise him? She would pay his loan that he went and borrowed. That's the only thing that's bothering me. If you get, if you get one side or the other of that, it's your answer. And so I wish that you would tell me that she didn't make that promise. And the old man just told everybody that that's the way it is because I'm in charge and you're going to pay this back. In which case I'd tell him to stick it. That that's actually, no, that's what happened. He said, they, they asked if they could, they, they said where they wanted to go to school. And he replied and he said, okay, I'm going to take out these loans for you guys as a favor. And then they said, okay. And he goes, you're going to have to pay this stuff back. That was his demand. And I, I think at the time this happened, you know, several years ago, she agreed to, if she agreed to that demand when she, before she went to school and took his money, she promised to repay it as uncomfortable and ridiculous as this is. She made a promise to pay him and she shouldn't have to. It's wrong. I wish she hadn't. I don't want her to, I don't like this guy. Your, your call made me not like him. Um, and, uh, I've got a lot of suspicions about all the stuff going on. It's really nasty, but, um, yeah. So, you know, you could do this. You could say, all right, when you give us a full accounting of exactly what my share is and a payment schedule that shows us when that is going to be paid off, we will resume payments until you do. You'll get nothing. I mean, I would do that with a bank. Yes. Well, and cause there's a weirdness if you're two years in and you guys are throwing and you're like, I think we've hit the seven. We don't know. We don't know. And for the sister, he said, the sister got mad cause she wanted to pay hers off sooner, which I get cause the interest is accruing. And if he makes them spread out, but we don't know how, I know that's your sister. The sister shouldn't have a say in your park, not in her, but not in their park. She probably says on my part, I don't, I don't want that payment schedule. I want to pay more so I can get it paid off cause I don't want to pay the interest on it. But he's lumped it all into one and you can't tell. So which is the problem. So here's the deal. When you give me an exact amount and an interest rate and I will pay on that schedule, we'll resume payments until you do. We're not going to pay anymore. He has nothing in writing to see something. Yes. There's nothing in writing. There is nothing he can do. He's going to have to just sit on that egg until it hatches. And so I would, I would stop all of this craziness. This guy's a power player and he throws himself around all the time and get the way to handle that is just very calmly just say, you know, we've talked about it and we're not going to be sending you any more payments until we have an actual accounting of what is owed. That is her part only. And, um, and you know, and then we will pay payments on her part only. That's, and that's like not a crazy request. No, that's if a bank, if a bank was jerking me around, I'd want the account audited before I gave him any more money. I just put them on the sidelines. I do the exact same thing. And I have David, I'm sorry. I'm sure he feels in the middle of it too. It's horrible. Well, and, and it's just, it's horrible. And, uh, word of warning to the 30 million of you listening, that's what a parent plus loan is. Can you say sucks? Don't do student loans. Really don't do parent plus loans and really don't obligate your 17 year old for $70,000 to go to DePaul to get a degree that makes $70,000. 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