ExclusiveUnder one roof, four generations strong | Vietnam Within Us

Dear friends, today on Vietnam Within Us, we invite you into the way of a household, four generations under one roof, one of the treasured traditions of Vietnamese family life. We bring you the story of Mrs. Nguyen Thi Tay, whose family of 19 members across four generations has lived together in harmony and joy under a single cozy roof in Hanoi's Old Quarter for more than 40 years. Mrs. Tay shared that the secret to their harmony is simple. Elders must set the example for the young. Each person must guard the family traditions, showing respect to those above and kindness to those below. She and her husband live out this principle with quiet grace. When her husband's still alive, through all their decades together, he never once raised his voice at her. They never spoke to each other with crude, familiar terms. And even with their own children, they always use polite, proper addresses. Whenever they need something done, they would say, could you buy this for mom? Or mom needs a little help. There was never a condescending word, never an elder pulling rank over the young. Perhaps their old peaceful, happy life has considerable influence on their children's marriage too. Following their parents' footsteps, the children have never raised their voices to one another's sons and daughters, sons and daughters-in-law, grandchildren alike. For generations, the family has been the foundation of society's most basic selves, the very first place where a person's character is shaped and nurtured. Through the story of Mrs. Tay's large family, we see that building healthy cells of society starts with each home having its own living example. It's all standards for how people treat one another. When everyone in a family holds fast to that standard, living with decency and moral grounding, with orders and respect, honoring elders and cherishing the young husband and wife in harmony, siblings lifting each other up when one stumbles, then as the ancient thought, harmony brings prosperity. The Vietnamese model of four generations under one roof reflects a deep emotional bond across generations, while letting family members support one another materially and emotionally, from caring for the elderly to raising the young. Experts note that living under one roof deepens family connections and brings the elderly a comfort on their own. By helping with everyday chores and caring for grandchildren, grandparents feel valued, finding joys and peace of mind in the warm embrace of their loved ones. For the young, living with grandparents brings invaluable gifts. First, a multi-generation home helps shape their characters and teaches them to love and care for their elders, especially when illness strikes. What's more, this family bond acts as a natural shield, helping young people stay safe from the temptations of the outside world. Children raised in such homes absorb rich traditional values and strong morals. As they step out into society, they know how to conduct themselves with courtesies, respect elders, and get along with others, laying a solid foundation for their growth into whole human beings. Our ancestors believed that a large united family carries its own lasting blessing. A heritage of virtuals left by those before, a joyful reunion that brings abundance to those after. Today, the nuclear families of parents and children have become the norm. This leaves us with a question. Is four generations under one roof still a blessing when differences in age, educations, habits, and lifestyle can so easily spark conflict? Is it true that a nuclear family honors privacy, giving everyone room to grow their own personality and passions without pressure from multiple generations? Managing finances, raising children, and organizing daily life also become simpler and more flexible, avoiding the frictions common in a crowded home. Yet, this modern model faces its own challenge of fading connections between family members. Time changes, and so do our ways of living. It is certainly not easy for every modern family to maintain a four-generation home like Mrs. Day. Perhaps then what matters most is not which family model we choose, but how we hold on to that blessing within each home. Through the words we speak, the way we treat each other every day, how we keep the flame of love and care alive, whether living near or far. What do you think? Share your thoughts with us on Vietnam Within Us.