How Emma Thompson Prepared For 'Late Night'

Ladies and gentlemen, my first guest this evening is a two-time Academy Award winner. You know from Sense and Sensibility, Love Actually, and Howard's End. Please welcome Dame Emma Thompson. We're very excited. Oh, anyway. So, taxi? Nice to see you again. I'm exhausted now. I'm exhausted. Thank you for coming back. Oh, I'm so glad and happy to see you. You know, the interesting thing has happened since the last time you were here. You had a big news in your life. You have become a dame for the people out there who don't know. Explain what a dame is. Well, I'm not entirely sure. Nothing seems to have changed. I thought maybe when it happened, you know, I would be treated differently in some way. I mean, obviously, I had all the chairs in my house raised slightly. The ones I sit in, obviously, but not too high. So that people were just slightly off. I thought, is she higher? But not sure, you know, tiny bit sort of confused. I thought I'd be greeted by policemen in the street. I'd be able to walk my sheep over London Bridge. You know, I don't know. But everything seems to be the same. Well, I'm so sorry. Yes, what can I tell you? Here's the moment itself. This is you receiving your dame hood right there. Prince William. He's very nice. Very nice fella. Such a nice boy. Did you know him already before this moment? I did know him already. Yes, I did. Because I know his dad quite well. And he's lovely. But I had only seen him when he was quite a tall baby. And he's got a lot taller. Tall baby. It was a very, very tall baby. And he was just so delightful. And now, of course, grown up with children and everything. So I rushed towards him. Yes, he has. I rushed towards him going, darling, can I kiss you? And he said, no. No, you can't. You can't kiss me. I kissed him later. Well, that's nice. That's nice. I also noticed in this photograph, you're wearing... You're wearing... Sneakers. Athletic shoes. You're wearing sneakers right there. They're posh sneakers. They're quite posh sneakers. Everyone gave me a lot of trouble about that. I think they look nice. They do look lovely. Is it so you can get away quickly in case somebody comes at you with a sword? Yeah, absolutely. Is there a sword involved? No, there isn't. It's not fair. And my husband's very cross because if you get a knighthood, your wife or person who lives with you becomes lady so-and-so. But the husband doesn't get anything. Absolutely bugger all. So you're Dame and he's just him. And it's just... He's not pleased. Yeah, sure. I can see. Plus, I wear the badge in bed and it's sharp. It's sharp. Very pointy. Sure. You have a badge? It's a big badge. That's the point. It's a badge. If you get pulled over, can you flash it to the cop and go, excuse me, Dame? Yeah, or you could just smack him around the face with it and take his eye out. I mean, it's a weapon. You mentioned you wanted to be able to walk your sheep over London Bridge. I know you spend a fair amount of time in Scotland. Do you have sheep? Actually, this is quite a good story. Do you mind if I tell you a story? I would love a good story. About Scotland. My daughter was about eight. So the sheep were in the field. And at the bottom of the field, there's a little place where I go to wash. I wash in the river. And often, if the weather is nice, I will walk naked down to it. You have indoor plumbing, right? You have indoor plumbing. More or less. Yeah. So I walk down through the sheep with a towel, hand a wash, and walk back up to the sheep. But that's what I do. Naked. Because there's no one around except the sheep. Obviously, they are appalled. Appalled. There's a lot of, you know, rushing up. Oh, she's coming. She's coming. They're just appalled. Exactly. Someone just sheared her. Shear her. Do something. She's coming up the field again. Anyway. So middle of the night, it was about 10 o'clock. My daughter and I, she was about eight. For some reason, we were alone in the house. Banging on the door, being really big, banging, kind of Halloween style. And I come downstairs, and there's a massive and very good-looking policeman standing outside our porch. Which is weird, because our place is, you know, way in the wild. And I opened the door, and he says, I'm terribly sorry to bother you, Mrs. Thompson. But we've had a report that you had an intruder on your property today. And I said, an intruder? I immediately turned into Jamie Lee Curtis. Immediately. And I reached for the nearest weapon. You know, I hid my daughter in the cupboard. And I was just like, oh. And I said, what kind of intruder? And he said, well, she said it was a naked man, about 50 years old. So I looked at this policeman, and I thought, you know what? What was going through my mind was that from a distance, my boobs had dropped so far, they read as testicles. And I nearly, thank you so much. Thank you for that riff. Oh, laughing testicle movement. Boobs, testicles, riff. Bad, bad. Yeah, like a really minor cause. Discord, yes, OK. I've never recovered. I keep trying to find that policeman. He was gorgeous. And then he said to me, it's all right. I'm so sorry. She doesn't see very well. Because my daughter said, mum, that's about the time you came back from the. Shut up, shut up. The sheep were all out there by that time, going, it was her. It was her. They have no loyalty, those animals. Well, now you have a new film with our friend Mindy Kaling. Yes, the wonderful Mindy Kaling. It's called Late Night, and you play Catherine Newberry, who is the host of a show called Tonight in the United States. And we have a clip here. You're in the writer's room. Can you tell what's going on in this clip? Why are you in with the writers? Because she's lost her mojo, really. And she needs to make the show better, because she's been threatened with it being cut. And she can't live without it. It's her only thing. It's the only thing that she really cares about. And she's a mainstay of American Late Night. She's been here 28 years. Yeah, she's a woman Late Night talks to. It's basically science fiction. And sneaky, sneaky little political remark there from Dame Tompo. Anyway. We don't need politics in Late Night. Oh, no, we really don't. Good grief. Anyway, so she's come into the writer's room to talk to them and give them a row and say, you have got to make this better. James. If I may, I just want to say it is such an honor to meet you, Miss Newberry. I'm Chris Reynolds. My name is Eugene Mancuso. And when my parents got divorced, this show... I don't know who any of you are. I don't know who any of them are. Oh, well, Tom, I'm Tom. I write the monologue. I'm actually the youngest monologue writer in the history of the show. Do you know what? I'm not going to remember any of this. So here's what we're going to do. Um, you're one, two, three, four. Hi, Catherine. Oh, Birdie, thank God. How's your baby? She's 27. True. All of it. True to life. Do you see? I think it is true to life, a little bit. From seeing this, did you make you want to host a Late Night show? Did it appeal to you at all? Having done SNL recently, what this process of... Did you see it? Oh, good. It's irrelevant to this interview, but thank you very much. I really appreciate it. Thank you for watching. Um, and, um, I got so brightened. But it was so interesting watching the writers. That process of them writing and thinking and creating all night. And you just think this, this is so important, actually, because you think about laughing. Mark Twain, right? You know that bit. Familiar with his work? Yes. There's a character, and I can't remember what the work is, but it's Satan. And he's talking to human beings. And he's saying, you know, you people, you're a bit pathetic. But you do have one unquestionably powerful weapon. And that is laughter. Because you can push at humbug and idiocy and power with words, with supplication, with persuasion. But only, this is what he says, I love this. Only laughter will blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. Which, of course, is untrue, because you have Trump. And we laughed and laughed and laughed. Well said. But it's a nice thought. You tried. It's a nice thought. Late Night is in theaters June 7th. Emma Thompson, everybody. We'll be right back.