negotiation mastery: mastering the art of tone, labeling, and mirroring with derek gaunt

Hello, Black Swan negotiators. Hello, top 1%. Today, I'm gonna introduce you to Derek Gaughan. This guy is smooth. He can give you change for an ice cube. He's the author of a great book, Eagle Authority and Failure, and he's one of the Black Swan team. In this video, Derek's gonna talk about labeling and mirroring, but the video is also about the infamous late night FM DJ voice and inflection. Now, the key to this is the fact that Derek is a natural at the late night FM DJ voice. So as you listen to this, take in Derek's tonal voice and feel how it is. People find him reassuring. The common theme with labels and mirrors is what? What do you think the common theme is? That's what we're trying to do. We're trying to get more information, but the common theme is I'm taking what you give me, I'm repackaging it, and I'm giving it right back to you. By labeling and mirroring, am I convincing him to move in a certain direction with my words or with his own? That in effect removes you as a threat in the conversation because as long as you remain a threat, no meaningful dialogue is ever gonna take place. When people push back against your ask, when they offer resistance, when they tell you no, when they issue a threat or a demand accompanying a threat, what they're telling you is I'm afraid of something or I don't trust you. Labels and mirrors remove you as a threat. The mirrors are so powerful because you don't even have to think. You get stuck, you don't know where to go in negotiation. All you gotta do is do what she did and remember something about the conversation and repeat it back to them. Repackaging exactly what they give you, giving it back to them removes you as a threat and from that point on, more meaningful dialogue can take place. He mentioned something about the inflection, the inflection upwards or downwards. So when I say she doesn't listen to me anymore and it makes me angry, how would you mirror that? She doesn't listen to me anymore and it makes me angry. How would you mirror that? Last one to five words. Take it easy. Let's not get too fancy with this ----. We'll give you time. I heard it over here. Makes you angry. Now, inflect upwards on that. Makes you angry? What is he asking me? Yeah, expand upon that. Now, inflect downward. Makes you angry. What is he telling me with that? I hear you. I get it. I'm picking up what you're laying down. Both of them show that I'm listening. Both of them showing that I'm attending. The inflection encourages them to go on without saying please go on and then the downward inflection shows that I'm paying attention.