Expert Shares Strategies to Approach Difficult Decisions

We're back with our series life lessons this morning, we're going to learn strategies for decision-making in here to walk us through his doctor sue Varma board certified psychiatrist and the author of the book the book practical optimism doctor Varma always great having you or such great advice so so you talk about when we make decisions that are going to lead to some happiness and satisfaction. The first thing we've got to realize is there's no such thing as a perfect decision. No there's no perfect decision and instead many of the good things that happen to us are as a result of a series of very small intentional micro decisions and instead what we really need to look at is what is the long-term goal, what are my values what are my priorities and I think that this really helps take the pressure off of any one decision and thinking that there is a perfect right one because then we perseverate and then don't make a decision and there's a cost of indecision in and of itself. Some decisions are just really hard to make they're not easy So how do you navigate that yes, so one question that I always ask myself and my patients when they're struggling to make a decision is is this a problem to be solved or a truth to be accepted. And once you're able to put things into 2 different buckets right is there something with concrete that I can do towards this today is there some small action step is there someone I can call that can perhaps help me perhaps clarify give me more information and if not it goes into the bucket of I have to to accept this and to understand that there might be mixed emotions and just because you have discomfort doesn't mean that it was a bad decision. It means you're human and it means that you're able to weigh both sides and to me nuance decision-making is a sign of intelligence, emotional intelligence, critical thinking so I'm all for having mixed. I love that line every. Yeah, yeah, I was just about to ask what they're going to bring the graphic back up for a second that that graphic that showed us every yes. It requires a no yes because any time you're saying yes to something there's always going to be a sacrifice of your time right like let's say you're like I have to go to this party, but then that means I'm not going to be able to be here for that reason so just being able to weigh something and just say what are the pros and cons and then just making a decision right because sometimes you have to just move forward move and act. You say we most people tend to fall into one of 2 decision making styles were what are the styles and is there one that might be slightly better than the other. Yes, so it's interesting maximizers of the type of people and we all know them I think sometimes I fall into that bucket and my mom did we were trying to buy a car and she was like but is there a moonroof right like right like my last time you dance right like you when you're dancing through a moonroof right and I'm like why do you need there some there's some people who want to do so much research they have analysis paralysis and there is a known thing when you present someone like that too many choices. They can't make a decision right and versus limiting something to maybe good enough and those are what we call the satisficers right like satisfy satisfactory sometimes good enough they say perfect is the enemy of the good when you're waiting for perfection, you're waiting for some amazing person to come into your life, it doesn't happen right to what how can you take what's in front of you and limit and narrow down the choices so you act because that's really important. I think I'm a good enough to say what do you think it's just good enough. I think that's I think I think I you know I think it depends on on the decision decision. A little bit about your kids about their future. Yeah, so what if you you're lucky enough to be presented with you've got 2 good options. Yes, you know how do you I mean you might almost take too much time because I got this but the only I got this yes, yes, I love that look that's a privileged position to be in to have 2 good options because then that means that there isn't a wrong one and that there's something called like buyers remorse right or decision regret where there are people who then like look look back and say what what could I have done right there's an African proverb that I love and it says before marriage keep 2 eyes open and after marriage keep one eye closed. Doctor of great great advice. Thanks so much.