Fear, Intimidation and Isolation: The Warning Signs of Spiritual Abuse - Anna Vaughn

Our next guest is going to talk to us about the value, the value that Christ has placed in us and how he wants to work through us. But she has a wild, insane story for our audience today. And I think it's very important that we talk about leadership and the aspect of corrupt leaders, how to recognize them, recognize the red flags in order for us to get help, and also to warn others. So this is a wild angle to wrap up our doubleheader episode series, the 7th and 8th episodes on leadership coming from this angle. Get ready for our next guest. Anna Vaughn is the founder of Stirred Up Ministries. She is a past victim of spiritual abuse and helps others recognize and identify the signs. Anna, along with the support of her husband Luke, share the gospel through various platforms. She travels and speaks at conferences, churches, and in-home gatherings, sharing truth from the prophetic gifting of the Holy Spirit, communicating the heart of the Father. Anna's desire is to bring the Acts Church to local communities and inspire others to operate in the truth of who God truly is, limitless and not confined by boxes we put them in. This is the CounterCulture Mom Show. I'm your host, Tina Griffin. Leadership is where it's at. To wrap up this doubleheader episode week series, I'm with Anna Vaughn, founder of Stirred Up Ministries. Anna, you've got me massively stirred up, girl. How are you doing from Michigan today? I'm doing wonderful. I am so excited to be here today. I am so excited. Whenever I know a guest is going to come on and drop a bomb, which I know you're going to, I get all pumped up because I don't know your full story. I just know it's a wild, different angle on leadership. We did six episodes in a row last week, four of them, then two the earlier part of this week, and now your two. But the previous six have all been on different aspects of a great leader according to the Word of God, who is God calling us to be, how can we go out there and make a difference and get rid of the wrong thought pattern in order to be a great leader. And we should all be great leaders. But then I look at your topic today, corrupt leaders, what can happen, red flags, and how to warn other people and also get out safely. So that's your angle. And I think it's critical because not all leaders are walking with the Lord and you had massive spiritual abuse, which I really haven't talked much about on the program, so I'm dying to dig in here. Can you tell us what happened in your own life and ministry and how did it impact you? Yeah, so let's back up a little bit. So I grew up in a great Christian home. My grandparents were in ministry, traveling internationally, and so they had a lot of missionaries come and live in and out of their home. So I was exposed to that from a young age, knew I wanted to be in missions of some kind when I was a kid. In middle school, we started doing home church, and that's really where my relationship with the Lord just absolutely exploded and thrived. I started to have love encounters with God, really started to experience Him in a really real way. It didn't feel like the typical church religion. It felt like very authentic. And that really boosted my desire to be in ministry. And the Lord told me when I was a girl that I would be speaking on platforms and communicating His love. And at the time, I was like, Lord, send me anywhere but a stage with a microphone. Like, I will go to Africa, and you can send me to an orphanage, but don't make me speak in front of people. And so it's funny how the Lord really worked that. Oh, yeah. He always gives you what you don't want, and He's like, okay, well, you know what? You're going to be humble in this area. Go for it. Everything was going great, your walk with the Lord deep. When did the bomb happen in your life where you're like, hang on a second? As soon as I graduated, I went to a ministry internship in Minnesota. Wonderful program. I was there for four months. Really launched me into missions. When I returned home to Indiana, which is where I was living at the time, I joined a ministry where I was their intern director. And so I ran their internship program for young adults. I was only 19 at the time, and the program was for 18 to 25-year-olds. And I was so excited. I dove in headfirst. I really felt like that was the call that God had put on my life to be in missions. But the red flags were there right away. So my ministry leaders at the time are what caused what I call spiritual abuse. They're very unhealthy in how they ran their program. And before I even started my job, I had to have brain surgery, which is a totally different story, right? I'm just dropping that in there, which I can talk about later if I need to. But right before I started, I was still recovering. And my boss at the time, who wasn't even my boss yet, he had hired me. I had brain surgery, and I was like, hey, I'll let you know when I'm recovered, and I'll come to work. And before I was even recovered, I was getting phone calls asking when I was coming in, when I was going to be recovered. And he was very frustrated that I didn't have those answers, and that my recovery was taking a little longer than he thought was necessary. And he ended up sending someone to my home to train me for the job. And so I ended up getting trained in my parents' home in a hospital bed, recovering from brain surgery for my job, and ended up moving into the home where I ran the internship a month later. Okay. So I'm not trying to be funny with this at all, but if you were a hot commodity and he saw potential in you, you knew it wasn't that. You knew that this was like he is like kind of a stalker. I don't know how else to explain it. Why was this person so dead set on pushing an agenda if you weren't ready to serve yet? Because you think he'd want you to be up and at them and feeling great. You probably still had a wrap around your brain from having brain surgery. I'm imagining you literally barely able to open your eyes and he's like, okay, the next thing you're going to be doing on a Wednesday night. So how did you know it was abuse right off the bat with the red flags? So I didn't know it was abuse for two years, actually. And so I was in this ministry for four years. I didn't recognize that it was abuse for two years. And part of the driving force with him wanting me to come into work is the person I was taking the job over from was getting ready to leave. So he really wanted me to get trained. Okay, now hang on a second. If that person was dying to get out of there and leave, were they leaving because of the spiritual abuse as well? Did you ever find out? Okay, yeah. Yeah. It would have been awesome if they would have called you and said, hey, I know you got a wrap in your head. You just got done with brain surgery. Don't go there. Not a good idea. But obviously they didn't give you the memo. So okay, proceed. That's crazy. And a lot of the reason why was because people inside of that ministry, the only way to get out is if they could have a replacement. So nobody was going to warn me about what was going on because then they would feel guilty for leaving. And so there was such like a cult-like mentality that like once you're in, you're in and you can't get out and like you would be shamed for leaving. And so this person was more than happy to let me know all of the great things about this job, which there was, but they weren't going to tell me the hard things either because they didn't want to feel guilty for leaving. And then you wonder if this person's coming to verify that you're half dead in a hospital bed in your parents' home, probably because they didn't believe you that you were still recovering from brain surgery. It's insane. It's almost like you have to give them the doctor's note to say, yeah, she just had her head cut open. Yeah. I didn't even have a doctor's note yet. My doctor hadn't even released me. Oh my word. Okay. So they were like after you to get in there because their ministry couldn't function without you there. And obviously nobody else wanted the job. So they were like hoping that you wouldn't hear. This is so wild. Okay. Well, and they probably were also like, don't find out too much. Like let's get her in, let's get her trained, let's get her, you know, and I'm young, I'm ambitious, I'm excited. It's my first big girl job, if you will, of being able to serve the Lord and serve this ministry. And so I was just as eager to get started too, but I was a little frustrated. My mom's the one who saw the red flag right away. She goes, this isn't okay. And I'm like, mom, I got it. Let me handle it. Obviously I'm a 19 year old mature adult. And so I got it and she let me and that's where the story began. Well, now you have a testimony to help warn other people. So God was building your case and you didn't even know it because through our terror and trial becomes our testimony. So he was training you while you're in the hospital bed. You can barely open your eyes. He was having staff come over and tell you what your job's going to be. Give us some major red flags now looking back that you saw right away that if people tuning in right now are thinking, hang on a second, because not a lot of people might be able to relate to your story about they are currently in a hospital bed, just having brain surgery, and someone's coming to try to train them for a job. So give us other red flags that were like, if you see these, run and warn. Yeah. So that's the thing about spiritual abuse is you don't recognize it right away. So the mission, the goal, the ambition, serving God is what is given to you. So you are being told you're on mission. You are making a difference. You're changing the world. You're changing the lives of whoever you're ministering to, whether that be young people, people in church. And so here you are running as hard as you can after the things of God, genuinely believing you're serving him. And if you say no to anything, if you set up any type of boundary, work hours, late nights, early mornings, any type of boundary boundaries with family, then all of a sudden you're saying no to God. And so I ran hard after this for two years. I didn't really recognize what I was in. I think my parents were kind of seeing some red flags, but even they were blinded at times to the charismatic leader. And this is what we see in unhealthy leadership is a lot of times they're coming at it from the angle of very charismatic people, person, outgoing, love the mission, love the Lord. But what we're not seeing is a healthy family life, healthy boundaries, respect for people's time off, respect for their hours, respect for their own families. Like, you know, I had people in this ministry who weren't allowed to attend funerals and who weren't allowed to leave the ministry unless they were granted. And so that didn't, I didn't start recognizing until I experienced it myself. It started when I had unfortunately had a family member pass away. It was very traumatic for me. I needed some time off and I was not given any time off. I was told that I could take my personal days. So I was given throughout the entire year, three personal days to use whenever throughout that year. And I was told I had to use those days for the viewing and the funeral. And then I needed to report right back to work. Okay. You know what my next obvious question is that's not even like scripted for what I thought I was gonna be asking you. Anna, hold that thought. Everybody out there, get your seatbelt on. More with Anna right after this. Can you look me in the eye? Can you look me in the eye and tell me that I shouldn't exist? That I should be dead? That I deserve to die that day? Can you look me in the eye and tell me that my very survival was a mistake? A terrible toll on society? Can you look me in the eye and tell me that in my most vulnerable state, I was nothing more than a parasite? A collection of body parts. Subhuman. Worthless. 1952, I survived multiple abortion attempts. DNC abortion. An instrument abortion. DNC abortion. An instrument of abortion. Heritage abortion. A vacuum aspiration. E&E abortion. An induced abortion. A saline infusion abortion that was meant to poison and scald me to death. I am the face of choice. I am that choice. These are actual human beings who survived abortion procedures when they were still in their mother's wombs. These are the eyes, voices, and faces of choice. Choice is not merely a word. Choice is a person. Learn their stories. Visit facesofchoice.org. Anna, I had to just take a minute and powder myself here because I was sweating bullets. My blood was boiling. Fill us in on, can you tell us, the obvious question here, who in the world or what ministry were you working for and are they still around today so we can run from and pray over? That is not a question I'm getting answered because I do want to respect them as people. The ministry is not in operation anymore, so I can say that. The ministry actually ended with me, which is why I believe the Lord had me there. So I left the ministry with all of the interns at the end, but I don't want to share who it was because I do believe that the Lord is going to bring redemption in their life. I believe that He's a God of forgiveness. I want to walk in forgiveness. I want to walk in respect and kindness. I have completely forgiven these people in this ministry. And so my goal is not to blow the whistle. My goal is to let people know, hey, this is an unhealthy person. This is an unhealthy church. This is an unhealthy ministry. And so the signs are all the same. The cult leaders are all the same. The unhealthy people are all the same, but that doesn't mean that there isn't room for redemption and repentance. Well, you rock. You have more heart than what I've got. I would want to be like, justice, who is it? Let's go after them and lead them to the Lord. Two different angles of this, but I hear where you're coming from. I'm also wondering, do I know this person? That's what's really funny and not funny. What are some other telltale signs of spiritual abuse you can give us that we can hopefully shake and wake us? Or if we're watching this, everybody, if you have a friend that's been telling you over lunch or calling you on the phone saying, this is what's going on with the ministry or any kind of job for that matter, that you can tell them, oh, my gosh, watch this episode. It could be massive emotional abuse or spiritual abuse. So what are the other telltale signs of that type of abuse? Yeah, just to go back real quick, the reason why I didn't go after the justice card, because believe me, I wanted to, I'm a very justice type person, was the scripture the Lord gave me was Exodus 14, 14, which was hold your peace and I will fight your battles, which was so convicting at the time, but the Lord is like, the only real repentance that's going to happen is if I convict them, not you. And so I had to walk through that and be like, okay, God, I want to be someone that you can trust and trust with information. And so if I'm out here, just not that whistleblowing isn't needed at times, but I just didn't feel like that was the character that I wanted to represent in this situation. You're very wise for being in your 20s and a new mom to newborn, your first born child here, very wise. God has convicted me as well because the previous guest on this week talked about the book of Exodus and both of his episodes. And now you're saying, Matt, I'm going to reread Exodus. Everybody out there, your assignment for this week is to reread Exodus, proceed. Sorry about that. Wow. So some of those red flags that I saw when all of this came to a head was after my family member had passed away, the first thing that my leader said to me was let the dead bury the dead. And instantly I was like, okay, this person lacks compassion. This person lacks empathy. Suddenly in this moment, I started remembering all of the conversations that I had been having over the last two years. It was like a smack in the face of like, what are we actually doing here? Because Jesus called us to love above all else. So if we're actually in ministry, ministering to people, but we're not walking in love, then we're not accomplishing anything. Then from there, I started having severe panic attacks and anxiety. And this was the reason why all of this had to come out and be exposed is because my body couldn't handle it anymore. I had no idea what I was under. I didn't know I was being spiritually abused. I was unaware. I thought I was just working really hard. I was working 60 hours a week, no breaks, no time off. And so I just thought that's what you did in ministry. We got to reach all of these people. Like the whole world salvation is dependent on this little 19 year old girl, right? Like that's the lies that you get saturated in and believe like I'm the only one. We get this savior mentality, which is what had happened to my leader. He had this savior mentality and he was charismatic and outgoing and he was going to change the world and he couldn't be small. He had to be amazing and make this huge difference. And the Lord started talking to me about, if you only reach one person that I put in front of you, then that's the job. You're doing your job. It's not about these masses and these multitudes. And so it wasn't until the anxiety and the panic attacks started that I was like, oh my gosh, something is very wrong. And so in the midst of this, I started seeing a counselor and my counselor was like, hey, here's the red flags. What you're under is not healthy. It's not real. It's oppressive. It's abusive. And some of the key factors for when you're dealing with a narcissist or somebody who's gonna gaslight you all the time and when you're dealing with abuses, fear, intimidation, isolation. So anytime we can intimidate you, let you know that you're gonna lose everything if you say one word about what's happening here and intimidate you into thinking that you're wrong. He hears from God better than you hear from God. And so what do you say at that point? That you're just nailing it. You're absolutely nailing it. I have like 20 questions and I'm like, how do I even ask the next question? Where do I go from here? Why do so many people stay under the power and control of an abusive leader? Afraid? Fear, but also you have everything to lose. So for me, this ministry was my home. It was my community. It was my life. It was everything. And so if I were to leave, I would lose everything. And something that happened in our ministry was if you left or you got kicked out because there was a massive rule book. So if you broke one of the rules, you could get kicked out, lose the money that you gave to the ministry, all the things. If you got kicked out, you were excommunicated. So nobody from that ministry was allowed to contact you. And so obviously not every group is this severe, but let's just talk about church for a minute. Let's say you have an abusive pastor. You have everything to lose. And this pastor is influential. This leader is influential. So who are they going to believe? You or the pastor or the leader? Because who are you in this big mass of congregation with this idolized person who can do no wrong, who hears from God? How could they be in the wrong and not you? So a lot of people just put their head in the sand and be like, if I just get through it, I'll just get through it. And that's where I numbed out. I went into fight or flight and I just was like, I just have to survive. Because if I try to expose him, if I try to say something, if I try to walk away, I will lose everything and I won't be believed. And then all the people who gave money to me to go be in ministry, what am I supposed to tell them? All the sacrifices I made to be in ministry, what am I supposed to tell them? Now I'm a failure. I can totally see the situation that you were in. I can totally see it. And the sad thing is in our culture today, so many people go along with the corruption instead of standing up for righteousness as well. So you have to battle that at the same time. James 5.16 reminds us to confess our sins to one another and pray for each other so we may be healed. It's not enough to admit the church body has a hidden porn problem. 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For over six years, I've been sounding the alarm regarding the dangers of EMF exposure, primarily coming from the towers that were implemented during the pandemic. I've interviewed countless experts on the show that confirm my research. Besides harmful 5G radiation, we are constantly bombarded with EMF exposure from Wi-Fi routers, smartphones, laptops, smart appliances, all contributing to massive sleep issues, headaches, fatigue, nausea, dizziness, brain fog, heart palpitations, and even increased cancer risk. I've been using two WaveGuard devices for over six years. I have the KeyHome, which gives me whole home protection, and the KeyShield when I'm on the go. WaveGuard uses depolarization technology to significantly reduce EMF radiation without blocking your Wi-Fi or cell signal. Protect your family now. Use CODETINA at checkout to save 20% off all devices at waveguard.com. That's waveguard.com CODETINA. So many of us are suffering from demonic oppression and we don't even know it. We can change lives for all eternity by the way we interact and show Jesus to those around us. So why not share the gospel with those around you with the clothes you wear? I know it sounds nuts, but that's a good way to get the conversation started. Over at caruso.com, K-E-R-U-S-S-O, you will find killer t-shirts, perfect way to do just that, minister and witness to other people. Their amazing shirts share truth while also being on trend. Be prepared to be asked all kinds of questions about the scripture you're wearing and be ready to answer them with God's truth. Once again, caruso.com. Also, put code word TINA in at checkout to save an additional 15%. Oh yeah. Anna, you are a spitfire, a perfect way to end this phenomenal two week episode series on leadership. Wow. Run from the corrupt leaders, people. Get Anna's book, Caught in the Crossfire, but then you got out, praise the Lord. Caught in the Crossfire, five star on Amazon, not a shocker, people. Tell us what phenomenal insight are we going to get from Caught in the Crossfire, girl. It is going to expose spiritual abuse. It's going to expose what it is, how to get free from it. There is literal stories of people who were in my internship, what they walked through, what they experienced. And so while the characters is a multitude of people that I crossed over to protect those who were inside the ministry, the stories are real. What happened is real. And what people experience in ministry, churches, and even let's say low-key cults are going to relate to what's happening in this book. But also unhealthy workplaces. I have a friend who also is talking about the toxicity in their workplace. That's nothing to do with ministry. It's nothing to do with Christianity that was able to relate to my book and find freedom in it. And so that's what you're going to gain from it. I really want people to walk in freedom. I want people to realize that unforgiveness and bitterness holds us in bondage, not the person that we're angry with. Next up, we got stirredupministries.com. Oh yeah, stirredupministries.com. Tell us what's on this fantastic site. I started a ministry in 2020 called Stirred Up Ministries. And I go in and I speak to people, to groups, churches, coffee shops, women's groups, conferences. And so that page has access to contact me, has my books on there, has my podcast on there. I do a deep dive in my podcast about what's happening as well. And then I have some e-courses on there. I created an e-course for new believers. And then I also created an e-course for my other three books that I wrote previous to the one we're talking about today, which is called the Trinity Trilogy. The Trinity Trilogy is a deep dive into having a relationship with each part of the Trinity. It ends with a bang right here with Anna. And tomorrow we get to have her on again for part two. Aye yi yi. More with Anna tomorrow. Check all these episodes out at counterculturemom.com. Go get them people. Aw yeah.