How A Journey To Self-Discovery Will Set You Free | Puck Kroonsberg | TEDxUniversiteitVanAmsterdam Will Se

Can you remember who you were before the world told you who to be? Today, I would like to take you on a journey to self-discovery. As children, we have no limitations of what is possible for our lives. We dream of becoming an astronaut, an athlete or anything that we can think of. But I can clearly remember the moment that I didn't dare to be that child anymore. It was when I was a 12-year-old little girl giving a presentation in front of my school about my dad's mental disorders, schizophrenia. I was going to share my story so that others would feel recognized in what they were going through with their family member. But what happened was the complete opposite. After my presentation, I was bullied and called crazy. My dad would be crazy. And at that moment, I felt like I could not fully be myself anymore. So I subconsciously started to put on these masks, pretending to be someone that I wasn't. And I'll give you an example. I started to please everyone around me just so I would feel safe and accepted. I would say yes to so many things. I would say yes to social appointments. I would be everywhere. Work and hiding who I truly was, repressing who I truly was and pleasing everyone around me. Well, you can probably imagine this didn't end well. It exhausted me so much emotionally, mentally and physically that it led to a burnout three years ago at the age of 22. For months, I had this pressure on my chest and these vivid nightmares that would make me wake up so tired. And yet, I was getting ready for this New Year's drink. And my mom came to visit. And I was standing in front of this pile of clothes in the size of what to wear. Well, I'm sure many of you can relate. And my mom looked over at me and said, You look as pale as the wall. Why don't you stay home tonight? Take some rest and maybe call in sick from work tomorrow. And I answered, Sick? I'm not sick. And what am I going to do at home? Well, I ended up sitting at home for two months. And the thing is, if someone would have told me three years ago that I would stand here and give a TED Talk to tell this story, I would have probably laughed nervously and ran through that door. And this is not where the story ends. I made a promise to myself to come back stronger than ever. I realized that for years, I was living between these two worlds. For the outer world, I seemed so-called successful with a good job, nice clothes, a big social circle. Well, actually, I had many hospital visits to my dad with my family and trauma therapy to process everything I was going through. But very little people knew about this. So I realized I needed to take off those masks and become this true version of me, liberate myself into who I truly am, my true self, and to come back to that child that dreamt of traveling, that dreamt of freedom, that dreamt of so many things. As from when we were children to the person who we are today, we get taught what is right, what is wrong, who to be, what is possible for our lives. And we get this through education, through experiences in life, through how we're raised. And this can be very empowering. But when an experience is painful, like bullying, it can become this limiting belief in your mind, pretending to be someone that you're not, for example. And that whole experience made me realize, okay, liberation, super scary. And so we weren't born with masks. We put them on. We weren't born as a pleaser or as a perfectionist. We put the masks on so we can also take them off. And we're as free as we're feeling from within to express ourselves. Our limiting beliefs and empowering beliefs influences our thinking. And our thinking influences our emotions. And our emotions will influence our actions. And our actions will create our reality. And therefore our future. But do we let our past define our future? You write your story. And I remember what it was like to hide my true self and had to liberate myself from that. And I know that's scary, but it is possible. We live in this system, in this world, where we have a society that we kind of have to follow. But many of us try to fit into something that is not actually you. Today, one out of five people in the Netherlands struggles with burnout symptoms because of stress. And that leads to 3.1 billion euros that goes to sick leave. But this is not only about burnouts. In total, 100 billion euros in the Netherlands only on a yearly goes to healthcare expenses. And I feel like that is something that should change. I envision a world where more people start living a life that inspires them. Because I believe that if more people start living a life that inspires them, it will increase their health, their happiness, and productivity. It will sustain longer. Imagine if more people start to feel free to be themselves, to live their dream. If we could do something to prevent all those diseases, what would the world look like? And so you may wonder, how can we take off those masks of limiting beliefs? It's going to sound easy. But I can assure you, it wasn't. I had to sit myself down without distractions and listen to everything that I had been running from for years. And this was very confronting. And I dove into self-development. And I tried so many things. From meditation, to breathwork, to podcasts, to books. And meditation was for me one of the profound things that helped me through my journey. It helped me become more self-aware of the limitations that I put on myself throughout the years. And to be honest with myself, with everything that I was feeling and running from. And I'm not saying everyone should start meditating as of tomorrow. But it is of such importance to have some sort of practice that keeps you rooted in the present when challenging times hit and everyone experiences those. And once you're becoming self-aware of what is limiting you, that self-sabotaging behavior, you can allow yourself to dream again. And for a moment, I'd like to ask you to dream away with me. I'd like to ask you to close your eyes for a moment. Close your eyes and ask yourself, what would you be doing if anything would be possible? What would you be doing? What are you feeling? Who is with you? And maybe there's already this little voice saying, you cannot do this. But I want you to become so self-aware of that and to know that you can transform that into something empowering for yourself, whatever it may be. And you can come back to this moment. And then you can begin to ask yourself, what is it that gives you purpose? One of the other breakthroughs in my journey was through the learning about the Japanese philosophy, Ikigai. Ikigai means the reason to get up in the morning. Anyone familiar with Ikigai? Oh, wow. And Ikigai consists of these four questions. In Japan, it's to be found the key to live a long and fulfilled, happy life. And it's asking yourself this, what is it that makes you happy? What do you love? What are you good at? What does the world need? And what can you get paid for? Combining these four questions makes your purpose. And of course, it takes time to answer these questions. And after a year of deep introspection, I found my purpose. My vision had become so clear that I decided to let go of my old life. And personally, I found this the hardest part because it's so easy to get back in your comfort zone, put on the masks and be safe and liked by everyone. But yet, I decided to quit my job and I start with a vision to become as free as I could possibly be. And I started to travel. And I ended up traveling for seven months around the world. And I pretty much sold all my belongings. And I gave up my home base. And this journey, during this journey, I met so many fears of can I do this? What am I doing? But yet, I decided to keep facing my fears and to follow my heart instead of my head. And during this journey, I met a business coach. And I shared with her, I want to share stories that empower and inspire others to live their dream. No idea how back then, but here we are. And yet, it was necessary for me to connect the worlds that I kept separate for years, to open up in conversations, to open up on social media. And I knew I was not maybe going to fit in and be liked by everyone. But I would feel a sense of belonging. And isn't that what life is about? Feeling like you're belonging somewhere to yourself and those around you? And that is what happened to me. And I envision a world where authenticity is the norm. Where we get taught that our health is the foundation to freedom. Where we get taught how to find our purpose. And so we will feel more empowered, feel more energized. And where mental health is no longer a taboo. And so we come to an end of our journey together and the beginning of your future. And I believe it's time to come back to ourselves and to start believing and thinking that what we want is possible. And that whoever you are is unique. Take off the masks.