Dating Coach Trevor Kuhn - Overcoming The Challenges Of Dating

All right everybody, we're back. Straight, gay, every community has its challenges when it comes to dating and finding the one. Singles say it can feel at times like an endless loop of swiping and mixed signals. So how do you break down the real hurdles of finding love and sharing the ultimate tips to help you build a genuine connection? Well, joining me now for more is professional matchmaker and dating coach Trevor Kuhn, who specializes in dating advice and matchmaking within the gay community. Sir, good to meet you, to see you again. You were on our show a couple of weeks ago, our noon show. So walk us through the biggest complaint you hear from the community in regards to dating. Well, Antoine, people are banging their heads against a wall when it comes to dating apps. People are straight, gay, in between, whoever you're trying to date, you're on apps and you're sick of mistaking options for real opportunity. And it's a numbers game. It has to be a numbers game if you're on apps because you have endless options. And people come to me, friends, clients, and they're just like, what can I do? How can I meet people? Because it's not working. That's the biggest complaint that people have is the apps. You're known socially as the love daddy. Yes. Love daddy Trev. In the role of a matchmaker, is it like our past envisions of matchmaking? Walk us through what it looks like when you're doing it, Trev. Yeah. So the client comes to me saying, you know, I want support with meeting my person. I want to narrow it down. These are the things that I look for in a partner. And we talk about it. And what we basically do is we say, you know, this is what's possible, right? That might not be possible out there, you know, with apps, because the thing is with apps, they're great at making introductions, endless options, like I said, but they're not great at determining readiness, determining emotional resilience, compatibility, things like that. So it's really like a shot in the dark when you're out there on your own. With matchmaking, we trade randomness, the randomness of apps with intention. We look at, you know, attraction that comes from apps, not instead of attraction, but instead of mere attraction, we're looking at alignment. We're looking at readiness. We're looking at how are people's lives set up to ensure that there's compatibility. And so do we promise chemistry? No, we're not there on the date, but we're going to get people closer to meeting someone who they can see a future with and who they can pay attention to. They're not like swiping, swiping, swiping. Okay, next, next, next. That date didn't go well. Let me keep looking. And I think that's where people get caught is constantly looking for the next thing, not necessarily looking for better, but they want to feel something. They want to feel like this could go somewhere. And I think with matchmaking, you have that trust, you know, with your matchmaker, because you've had deep conversations about what's important to you. And I'm having those conversations with potential dates to determine, is this person ready? Are they just like browsing or are they willing to invest in someone? So it cuts out some of the noise. Are there still stigmas attached? And if so, what are they? I think people are, sometimes they come to me and they'll say, I'm just kind of like testing it out, kind of exploring it. I'm not sure if I actually want to do it. Cause like I'm getting dates. People don't want to think that they're paying for dates because they know they can get them for free, so to speak. And I think that that's one of the main stigmas is I'm paying to meet people. That seems crazy. And again, we're focusing on curated introductions. So I say, look, this is a different experience. You're interested in meeting someone who is going to potentially be worth your time. Right. And we're helping to facilitate that. So it's not about you're paying for a date. So that's the one stigma that we can take off the table. You know, people are hiring coaches, they're hiring therapists, they're hiring consultants. Matchmaking is no different. It's a service that is helping you get closer to something that's important to you. The other stigma would have been like people say, Oh, this is confidential. They don't want someone to know necessarily that they're looking for help in this area. So it's not just about paying. It's about what's the perception of other people. If I have to hire somebody. How do you address that? Because I can see that being a very real concern for some. Well, for one, it's completely confidential. The only people that will know that that you've hired someone is anyone that is sending you on a date with who's in the same boat, you know, who's in the same boat, because they're also looking for for love. And there's no shame in that. I say, you know, people are some people used to be ashamed to say, oh, I met on Tinder, you know, 10, 10 plus years ago, people were like, I want to meet someone in person. And I people still want that people still want to meet someone in person, they want that that meet queue, they want that romantic history with someone, right? But the relationship is built over time. It's not built from that introduction. It's not built from the time you met an app. It's not even built from when I send you on a date with someone. So you have to just kind of like, let that go. And who cares what other people think, right? If you find the love of your life, do you really care what people think of how you met them? I wouldn't think so. Where can people find out more if they are genuinely looking to connect with someone? Where can they find you? Yeah, you can find me on Instagram. Love Daddy Trev is my handle. So you can connect with me on Instagram. And I'm happy to have that conversation. So on August 5, I'm hosting my next in person event is for gay men singles. And it's being held at the burger joint at the Thompson Central Park. It's a chance for people to come be social and meet other singles. And you can get those tickets right on the Instagram bio. Okay. All right. Stay right there. I have to say goodbye. Okay, that's gonna do it for us, everybody. Thank you so much for joining us for street talking for all of us here at Fox five. I'm Antoine Lewis. Thanks for the company. We'll see you next time.