"This Isn't Normal!" - Why It’s Impossible For Men To Date In 2025 | Charlie Kirk

You mentioned earlier in this podcast that one of the biggest sacrifices that you have to make is running this massive business at the same time as trying to be the leader in a family. Yes. I'm curious, what do you think is the biggest issue with modern dating? As a single guy, I would love some advice. You know, Graham, he got married a year or so ago. So he's looking to start a family. Have as many kids as you can afford. Probably two. Have more than you can afford. That's what I should say. I'll stick with two. What is wrong with modern dating? Yeah. The biggest problem with modern dating is very interesting. We had a women's summit. The young ladies all raised their hands. They're like, how many of you are unhappy with the dating pool? Every woman raises their hand. I'm like, funny. All the young men I talked to are unhappy with you too. So who's wrong? Those seem like kind of select groups of people though. You know, like if you're asking women that are attending a women's summit, they might be in a very specific situation. Yeah, I mean, like I would say generally, I hear more complaints about the dating pool than, you know, like, wow, there's so many options. Maybe you're right. I don't know. I think it's more of an options issue is that you could go online and just, if you don't like someone, instead of working through it, it's just, you go back and you start swiping again. So there's, so let me, what's the problem with women? And then I'll go to the problem with men. The problem with women is that many of them, A, have unrealistic expectations of the man that they want, a lot of them. And I deal with this all the time. Like, I want a guy that's earning a million dollars a year and he's six foot four. And I want him to have a, you know, a perfect jaw. And I'm like, yeah, that's never gonna happen. How about, by the way, you know where on your list is like, I want someone who will be a good father or someone with good character. So I guess like really disgusting actually, that you just want someone that's like super rich and looks good. Like, why don't you want someone that's gonna be loyal to you and not cheat on you? Like, oh yeah, I want that too. Okay, got it. So basically you want like Ken Barbie doll and then you'll have like all the good virtues. Notice they don't lead with the virtue and a lot of things lead to that. But number two is women need to be very clear that, we need to tell women more clearly that if you do not have children before the age of 30, there's only a 50% chance that you will have children. That's a fact? It's a fact, you can fact check me on that. Isn't that though, that women are becoming very intentional about whether or not they wanna have kids and just, it's more socially acceptable. Yes, but they're miserable because of it though. I mean, it's not just mine. You can fact check me, put the numbers up. The most depressed people in America are women without children. They're the most likely to be on antidepressants. They're the most likely to be anxious. Again, people that experienced severe depression are people, people that say they are very unhappy are people, young single women in their early 30s without children. Who are the happiest women in America? Married women with children. I think there's a, and by the way, of course they have the agency to do that. I'm not trying to like make a law, like you must get married and have kids. But I think that we've gone wrong here that women should prioritize family and children way above career, that they should try to find their husband before they're 25, that they should try to get married way younger. This is part of the fertility. But then that also goes back to just finances. No, that's a huge part. You can't quite have a husband going out, making a salary to have a stay at home. I completely agree with that. That's the best argument. It's not a winner argument, but it's the best argument. Because at some point you go to like Sub-Saharan Africa, they have like eight kids and they live in like a dirt hut. You can figure it out. Having children, I believe is a blessing of the Lord. It's the most amazing thing. You should try to have as many children as you can. Much more important than traveling to Thailand or having a big apartment or a bunch of cats, okay? Having children are a gift from the Lord. So, but as far as like the dating pool problem, so young ladies, they need to be very clear about what they're expecting in a man and date with the intent to marry and not just date to, you know, have a good time. And quite honestly, both need to do this, but young women need to do a much better job of saving themselves for marriage. They need to prioritize purity again. Young men need to too, but if young women do it, then young men will. So if that's what the women need to do in order to make themselves worthy of dating, what do you think is the main thing men need to do to make themselves worthy? The most attractive quality in a young man that young women can't ever articulate is self-control. So how does this look in application? A woman needs to be able to know that you can control your impulses when things get really crazy. They can't articulate it, but that's what they want. So for example, they want to be able, when you go on a date, can you control your mouth? Can you control your tongue? Can you control your eye? Are you going to cheat on her? Are you going to have a wandering eye? Are you going to get drunk every night? Are you going to kind of go into like a drug abyss? Women can't always put that into words, but that differentiates a boy from a man. A boy is someone that has no self-control. I would argue it's confidence and ambition. And if you have those qualities, I think everything else falls into place because you have to have self-control if you're going to be ambitious. Sure, I totally agree. Confidence is true. Look, again, it's just, if you look at it though, you can be very confident, ambitious, but you could also then cheat on your wife like 10 years later, right? So you have to be able to control your flesh. We as men have very different problems than women, right? Different temptations. As men, we have problems controlling our flesh. That's why adultery is literally in the 10 commandments. You had to command an entire people not to cheat on their wives. It was easy. God would not have to command us not to do it. And so when men are dating, if you want to make yourself more attractive to a woman, first of all, like demonstrate self-control. And also women want to be able, they want to be taken care of. I know this is like super provocative, but like deep down, they want a man to be able to provide for them financially. Should a man pay on the first date? 100%. Like what kind of a wuss beta male is splitting the check? Like who are you? Do you agree with me? Listen, with Macy, I pay for the check. On the first? Yeah, the first. It's like, I'm just sorry. It's so... I would go into debt and like scrub dishes before a woman paid for it. Let's see what this is. Yeah. Let's see what this is. What is this, Jack? So didn't you go on a date like years ago, like a decade ago with this woman whose mom gave you $20 to take her to the movie theater? Yes. Yeah, I made money on that date, actually. Well, so there's a good financial... No, no, no. Explain how you made money on a date. That sounds different though. That's not what we're talking about though. Yeah, yeah. Her mom gave her... And by the way, this was in high school. Okay, so that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about like 24 years old, like serious dating, right? I split the check quite a lot. So I'm sorry. I don't mean to offend you. You guys are great. That's incomprehensible to me. I think that's... To me, I thought it was a great financial decision. I've just like... Okay, so from your prism, I totally get that. And like you have really good financial discipline. I'm sorry. Like I would be so humiliated if I... I find that to be like the greatest beta male like humiliation. To save money? No, no, to like the idea that a woman that you're trying to court... Now, if it's like a friend thing or... As a first date, you don't even know if she's like the quality of the court. I'm sorry. By the way, that money you save is not worth the honor that you compromise. It is such a big deal. It's a massive deal. I'm not trying to give you a hug. I don't know. I'm sorry. But here's the thing. In fairness, for your point with Macy, I paid for the whole first date. Why'd you do that one though? I think I was... At that point, I was at a level where like that felt like the right choice to make. But throughout my early 20s... Was it because you felt more serious with her or... I was also in a point where I was ready to be able to like... Financially? Yes. Legit, I get that. Early 20s, like saving five bucks here and there, I would do it. Okay, so you're manic with saving money. I am. We have Blake on my team is like you. Yeah, no. He goes and he'll eat like the snacks for lunch to save money here at... You know what's funny? I brought food from home today. No, no, that's... By the way... And coffee from home. Frugality is a virtue. Yeah. But so we as Christians believe that there is an order of virtues and above frugality is honor. And so we as men must lead. We must provide. Under no circumstance ever should a man ever let a woman pay for a date or you should split... Ever. No circumstance. Even on the third, fourth, fifth... What if it's the first date and you're just not into anything? Okay, well, let me... Period. Well, let me... Okay, so I... What kind of world are we living in? Well, hold on a second. I agree with you. If I'm dating a girl, I would pay for everything. Everything. Yeah, everything. However, I could see for other people that might be in a different financial position. You know, you pay for 10 dates and then she's like, you know what? I wanna treat you. Well, that's totally different. No, no, what we're talking about is like, oh, we're gonna alternate. Like, what's your serious and she wants to take you out to something for a nice dinner. And you might... By the way, if you have the intent to marry, you're already like kind of blending finances. Like, I get that psychologically. But like, if you're like, oh, we'll take turns. Like, oh, well, you know, you pay this time, I pay this time. What's your advice to a girl who the guy she's currently seeing, he says that. Oh, do not marry that man. But here's the thing. I feel like they should always break the offer. That's great. But they should offer, they should pull out the credit card. The woman? Of course not. Just to offer. No. It's a nice gesture. No, no. By the way, no, no, no. This is feminism. Feminism is that you have to be this like self-independent. This is a nice gesture. It's you trying to be like egalitarian. No, you as woman should want to be provided for. In fact, you should have an expectation that you as a woman are so important and so critical and so necessary and beautiful that it shouldn't even be a question that if you're in a date... Now, if it's a business lunch or like friend zone stuff, 50-50. We're not talking about that, right? It's all of a sudden you're like, hey, I want to buy insurance or like I want to go do business. I totally do. I still think the man should pay, but that's... But see, to me, when I was dating, it would be a huge turnoff if the check comes and she just looks at it and then looks at me and looks at the check. I totally disagree. I at least want to see like I'm reaching for something and I'm like, don't worry. I want a woman that wants to be led by a man. I don't want a woman that's all of a sudden going to be competing financially in a marriage. I don't want a woman that's going to be like, oh, you know, questioning financial decisions or a woman that's going to be like all of a sudden... No, the man is the leader of the household. The man is the leader of all the financial decisions. The man is the primary... Should be the primary provider. Again, there's exception to this. That's all, oh, Charlie, you're so sexist. Sorry, it worked for 2,000 years, for 5,000 years and it should work again. And by the way, what we're doing right now is not working. Let me just repeat again. This is not working. And I'm not trying to like bash you. Like this is fun. It's in really good spirit, right? No, I love the banter. No, it's great. But like this idea, if a woman on a date were to pull out a credit card to go pay for something, like I would be like, oh, so you're like one of those boss babes. No, that's not what that's saying though. That is, no. That is completely missing. Is such a catastrophic turn off. I think, no. I think if I'm on a date and she reaches for it, like I just think, oh, that's really nice. You're trying to be kind here. You're trying to alleviate what you perceive to be a financial burden on me. That's a generous interpretation. And so, but bringing something to the table. And so I think women are not bringing money to the table. They're bringing something else. It's a nice gesture. I agree with Graham. I think it's a nice gesture. However, I agree with you. I think the guy should pay. I think the woman going into that should have an expectation that the man takes care of her. But should she be grateful if the guy takes- 100%. Oh, okay. Oh no, it should be immense gratitude. No, no, no, no. The woman should be like, you know what she should say? She's like, thank you so much for doing that and not having to put this unnecessary pressure on me because you've just freed me. That's what women want, by the way. You freed me? 100%. I would say run. No, no, no. Or like what? A number two at Red Robin? Do you know how many women are secretly miserable that they have to be as financially successful as men? A lot. Like a lot. It drives them insane. Deep down, a lot of women want to be mothers. They want to be wives. I tend to agree with that. Not every woman. By the way, if you want to go be a boss babe, go do that. It's a free society. There's a lot of great people that do that. But generally, we have over-corrected, okay? We have a lot of women that deep down want to go be moms and they would love to have their man come in and just grab the check and be like, no, I got it. And by the way, you know what they see that as a signal? It's going to be okay. When the bullets start firing and there's chaos and things start falling apart, this man is going to protect the family. Boom. Wallet on the table. No, even better. Paying 26% interest on that. It's got to be even more alpha. You go to the waiter before the meal and you just give them the credit card. It's not even a conversation. It's paid for. It's done. Like you don't even allow it to be a thing that is introduced there. I would agree with that. See? I agree with that. Full alpha is like you go straight up where you are like smooth move and the girl is so stunned and she'll be like, oh, don't we have to be like, no, I got it. It's done. Boom. From a woman's perspective, they'll be like that's the most attractive thing ever. 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