Toxic or Not： GREASE

This car could be systematic. I'm sorry, what? Hydromatic. Dang it, Travolta! Ultramatic. We have thoughts. What could be Grease Lightning? Sandy! Danny! What's going on here is objectively horrifying. That Sandy has a clearly defined boundary. The entire rest of the movie he's trying to get her to be someone that she's not. Is that all you ever think about? There's a big difference between changing yourself and learning and growing and changing for somebody else. Some people are so touchy. And for this to work, neither of us can actually be ourselves. And his takeaway isn't, well, maybe then we shouldn't be together. Both of their takeaways is, well, let's just completely change who we are. Tell me about it. Stay. As they are both torching their sense of self, it's a really catchy song that goes along with that. I guess that does it. Hello and welcome to Cinema Therapy. I'm Jonathan Decker, licensed therapist who loves movies. This is... Alan Seawright, a professional filmmaker who needs very... a therapy. He needs the therapy. I'm me and I need therapy. Jonathan. Yes. I need therapy. This guy is nuts. Today we're going to be doing a toxic or not episode on the classic film Grease. Is it toxic? Yes. Toxic. Super toxic. Spoiler alert. But why? Why? What are all the ways in which it's toxic? Let's learn together. Because it's horny high school musical and we have thoughts. Horny school musical. Crazy horny. I'm going back to Australia. I might never see you again. Don't talk that way, Sandy. But it's true. I've just had the best summer of my life and now I have to go away. It isn't fair. I love the melodramatic soap opera music here. Easy. Don't spoil it. It's not spoiling it, Sandy. It's only making it better. Danny. Is this the end? Of course not. It's only the beginning. But it's actually downhill from here. So we see in this scene, they've had this wonderful summer together and it's been all about emotional connection. They haven't had sex. In fact, this is their last time together and now he's really pushing for it. And what I like about this scene is even though they have different values about sex, the moment she stops him, he stops. Yeah. You know, he's a greaser and he's a horny teenager, but I do think this is the most real he's being. He's not posturing for his friends. He's just connecting with her and he's attracted to and drawn to who she is. But it's all laid out and this is going to make it worse. This is going to make it better. They don't see eye to eye on this. And this is going to be a point we're going to return to several times throughout the film is how do they navigate this difference badly every single time? See you soon. Grease has been debated a lot online, whether or not it is toxic. What does that word even mean? The Oxford Dictionary defines it as poisonous, insidious and harmful. So it's a very strong word. So for something to be toxic, it's not just unpleasant or unhealthy. It has to be corrosively bad. It is a high bar to clear. And it clears it easily in like the first five minutes. You just got to go faster than the speed of light. Far beyond the speed of light. You got to break the rule of area and you've got to do it now. Boy, oh boy. Grease is a hell of an athlete. This episode is sponsored by Cook Unity. Cook Unity is the first chef-to-consumer platform. Delivering freshly prepared, pre-selected meals right to your door weekly. With Cook Unity, you can select meals from award-winning chefs from all across the country. There are hundreds of different options to choose from. I got Chef Einat Admini's Middle Eastern marinated chicken shawarma. I do love a shawarma. I got a rigatoni with pork sausage bolognese from Chef Kevin Meehan. My favorite thing about Cook Unity is how convenient it is. When I'm busy with an edit or prepping for a shoot or really just living my life, I don't have time to be thinking about what to cook. And with Cook Unity, I don't have to. It shows up. I heat it up. I eat it up. Oh, that was good actually. Yeah. And I love how Cook Unity is helping me to reach my specific health goal of smaller portion sizes. This is an issue I have as well. I just keep eating it so it's like, here. Here's your meal. It's perfect. It's everything you need. Enjoy it. This is enough calories for you. And the meals are delivered fully cooked so all you have to do is heat it up and eat it up. Faster than grease lightning. Exactly what I was thinking. You're the one that I want. Honey. To get 50% off your first order of nutrition-packed Cook Unity meals, go to cookunity.com forward slash cinema50. Cook Unity connects you with top chefs from across the United States delivering their signature dishes fresh to your door. With hundreds of meals to choose from, there is literally something for everyone. That's right, Jono. Go to cookunity.com slash cinema50 and use code cinema50 to get how many percent off? 50% off. 50% off your first order today. Summer sun. Something's begun. Oh, the summer nights. Tell me more, tell me more. Was it love at first sight? Tell me more, tell me more. Did she put up a fight? Wait. What the hell? What? What was that? Yeah, no, the choreography's great and everything but wait, what? Took a moment in the arcade. We went strong and drank lemonade. We made out. Okay, so listen, the singing, the dancing, the energy of it, the wardrobe, the performances, it's all iconic for a reason. Sure. There's a lot of stylistically to love about this. Yeah. But we're romanticizing he is blatantly objectifying her to his buddies. And lying about it. And lying about how far they went because the things he's saying didn't happen. And she is very much romanticizing it. Maybe accurately. It seems like they had a decent summer. But also maybe a little too much because he's painting her as the bad girl and she's painting him as this really upstanding guy who treated her well. Golly gee. And they're missing the mark. They're both missing each other right now. They're remembering what they want to remember. But my biggest issue is with him because this is presumably somebody that he truly cares about. But to his friends, he's got to paint this whole other story and throws her under the bus in doing so. Yeah. Also, did she put up a fight? Not a good look, guys. Didn't age well. Probably didn't play the way you wanted it to in 1979. Well, people, I guess, kind of overlooked it as just like, oh, well, you know. Kids will be kids. Boys will be boys. But that's messed up. That's not good. Stop it. Get some help. Sandy. Danny. What are you doing here? I thought you were going back to Australia. We had a change of plans. I can't. What's wrong with you, man? You can't be excited about things. I mean, you know how it is. Rocking and rolling and whatnot. Danny. That's my name. Don't wear it out. What's the matter with you? What's the matter with me, baby? What's the matter with you? What happened to the Danny Zuko I met at the beach? Well, I do not know. I mean, maybe there's two of us, right? Why don't you take out a missing persons ad or try the Yellow Pages? I don't know. You're a fake and a phony and I wish I'd never laid eyes on you. I love this bit right here. This is great acting. She knows. And he regrets it. These guys are dumb. Yeah. Why are you hanging out with these idiots? They're clearly stupid. They can see Danny's genuinely excited to see her and has a personal connection and they shut it down. Why? What kind of friend is like, hey, this is a thing or a person you really like. I'm going to crap all over it, especially when it's Olivia Newton-John. You should be that excited if she's smiling that big to see you. Hello. I mean, I get it. I get like the harmful masculinity of got to be cool. I've already got a girls are expendable. You got to mistreat them because you're the one in charge. Like all this bull crap. I'm not saying I don't understand it because I haven't seen it. I'm just saying it's stupid. Take no crap from nobody. I do. I do love when Stalker Channing is staring down John Travolta and it's not even an angry. It's just like I see you. It's my favorite bit of acting from Travolta is when he drops the act and you could see the genuine regret on his face that he just hurt Sandy. Yeah, but he doesn't know what to do because he didn't have us. I wish I was there to tell him what to do. If only YouTube had existed in the 50s and the 70s. Where are we? When are we? Obviously, neither of us liked this and we thought it was bad. What makes it specifically toxic? Well, if you define toxicity, if we're using that word, which usually applies to chemicals and waste, right? But it's corrosive and eats through things. So, you look at behavior that eats through the relationship and dissolves it. He literally just corroded the beautiful thing he had going with Sandy. He pretended to be a whole different guy. Yeah. Either with her over the summer or right now. And showed her what these guys think of me is more important than what you think of me. And like you said, either the guy last summer was a fake, or the guy he's showing right now is a fake. But either way, he's lying to her. And he's doing it to save face. And when she says, I wish I'd never laid eyes on you, that's like a world record. It's like 45, 50 seconds from Danny to I wish I'd never laid eyes on you. Might be like a minute 10, I don't know, but it's fast. Gosh, Batman, that's a new world record. To be fair, given the behavior and those freaking idiot friends, maybe she waited too long. But it eats through their relationship like acid and now there is no relationship. Correct. That's why it's toxic. Now he's going to try and make it right with her, but his friends aren't around. How are you? Fine, thanks. That's good. Hey Sandy, I've been wanting to talk to you for a long time now. What about? What about that night at the bonfire? I mean, the way I acted, that was terrible. I mean, it really was. I mean, it wasn't me. You gotta know that. I mean, it was me, of course, but it wasn't me. And I... You see, Sandy, I got this image, right? Well, that's why I'm so glad that Tom's such a simple person. Poor Tom. He's now a pawn in this game. Simple is right. Too bad his brains are in his biceps. Jealous, are you? Jealous? Oh, come on, Sandy. Don't make me laugh. Ha, ha, ha. I'm saying, the performances are great. Oh, come on. I can run circles around those jerks. I'll believe that when I see it. Dang it, Travolta. Be cool, huh? He's circling an actual apology. He's saying what I did was wrong. I was a real jerk. Yeah, he's definitely in the neighborhood. Yeah. Right? Like, it's almost there. And then he's saying, like, that wasn't me. Like, he's starting to make some excuses. And Sandy, on her part, isn't having any of it. She's not giving him any ground. I'm not saying she needs to let him earn trust, or they need to get back together. But just as, like, a human-to-human thing, if he's trying, maybe at least hear him out, and then say, thank you, you know, I appreciate it, or whatever. But she jumps right into, I'm gonna use this other guy to make Danny jealous. Poor meathead. And then I'm gonna accuse him of being jealous. And then she's gonna say that she's attracted to jocks. Which she's not. And now, because of this, we have, like, a 15-minute subplot of Danny trying sports, which we didn't really need, and slows everything down. Doesn't really go anywhere. Look, again, they're teenagers, ostensibly, in the script. And I understand that not everything they're gonna do is mature. But we're talking about whether or not this relationship is toxic. And what she's doing is further corroding anything that they used to have. If he threw acid on it, she's dumping more. And it's just melting away. Sandy, um, would you wear my ring? Danny, I don't know what to say. Say yes. Yes. I don't know, based on what? Yeah, why? He hasn't done anything. Oh, Danny, this means so much to me. Does it? Because I know now that you respect me. Why? But this is, this is... I do respect you. Oh, that's... I don't agree with it. Very funny to watch this asshat be an asshat. Until it's not. Oh, a little bit of a trigger warning. This is a PG movie, but it's a PG movie from 1979, so this technically is a type of assault. Sandy! Oh, Sandy. Danny, what are you doing? Oh, Sandy. Don't worry about it, nobody's watching. Danny, get off me! Sandy, what's the matter with you? I thought I meant something to you. Meant something to you? You mean I'm going to spend it with you in this, this sin wagon? You think this is a tin? Sandy, you just can't walk out of a drive-in. It's hard. It's difficult because what's going on here is objectively horrifying. Now, I'm not talking about teenagers at a drive-in making out, groping, even having sex. That happens all the time. I'm talking about that Sandy has a clearly defined boundary that she doesn't want to have sex, that that's not what she's looking for in a relationship. And knowing that already, Danny violates that. And keeps attempting to. The reason I say it's difficult is because that's objectively horrifying, but her closing the car door and hitting him in the groin, and then calling it a sin wagon. I am not proud of it, but nut shots are funny. Ball tap! Did it? Ball tap! Oh! That was firm. Ball tap, bro. I know that that makes me some kind of Neanderthal, and I need to grow up, and whatever. But you know what? I'm not going to. I'm 43 years old. Nut shots continue to be funny, especially when they're performed that well by John Travolta. Well done, sir. Because I like him! Hell, I love him! And to be fair to the film, I don't think the film is saying what he's doing is okay. The film is saying he's a cad, he's a scoundrel, because when he gets hit in the groin, it's like, take that, you deserve it, and the audience laughs, because the audience is meant to feel like Danny's being a jerk. But this is 1979, made in 1979, takes place in the 50s. You watch this today, and it's like, oh no, this is a bit more than a jerk, buddy. This is well beyond teen hijinks. And that's what gives it the ick, and that's why it's toxic. You guys ain't thinking about changing your mind, are ya? No way. And then he goes around the drive-in to a song that I am kind of mortified that as kids, my siblings and I all love this song. Uh-huh. Sandy, Baby, I'm in Misery, like the song that he sings on the drive-in. He sings, stranded at the drive-in, branded a fool. What will they say Monday at school? Zero concern for Sandy or her feelings. 100% about him and his reputation at school with a bunch of douche nozzles. Yes. These are not your friends. He's monologuing in his song. He's like, Sandy, my darling. You hurt me real bad. I'm sorry, what? She hurt you? By all accounts, it doesn't make sense. She told you what her boundary was. You blew past it several times, tried to force yourself on her, so she left your ass, which you deserved, and she hurt you. Terry, how can he make this right? Is there a way to come back from this? It always comes down to accountability, and when it comes to coming back from this, it depends on what you're talking about. If coming back from this is the outcome of maybe I still have a shot with Sandy and she's still in love with me, I wouldn't worry about that at this point, man. You need to make things right in terms of what you did and what you tried and how you treated her. Now here's the thing that really irks me. What is Sandy's takeaway from this? It's not that Danny is someone who repeatedly mistreats her, trespasses her boundaries, lies to her, acts embarrassed to be seen with her, tries to pressure her into sex, plays the victim when she won't have sex with him, and that she'd be better off without him. No, it's that she needs to fundamentally change who she is, say goodbye to Sandra Dee, and do a page one rewrite of her values, character, and personality for Danny. And he also tries to do the same. She becomes someone who owns her sexuality and becomes assertive, which, don't get me wrong, if that's what she actually wants to do for herself, more power to you. My issue is that it's been portrayed, this whole movie, that she is somebody who is more of an abstinence type of gal, and somebody who is the wholesome next girl type of gal, and then she decides to do this I'm going to become someone completely different, not because I want to, but because maybe then the boy will like me. Guys, it's never worth it to lose who you are for someone else. There's a big difference between changing yourself and learning and growing, and changing for somebody else. Yeah, becoming a better version of yourself and then just... And that's the thing, Danny, for the first minute on the beach, does see her for exactly who she is, wants her, chooses her. Sure, he wants to have sex with her, but when she's like, I don't want to, he's cool, and he still wants her. And then he doesn't do that the rest of the movie. The entire rest of the movie, he's trying to get her to be someone that she's not. And then, at the end, he's like, well, I guess, in order for this to work, neither of us can be who we actually are. I've wanted her to be more sexual, she wants me to be less sexual, and for this to work, neither of us can actually be ourselves. And his takeaway isn't, well, maybe then we shouldn't be together. Both of their takeaways is, well, let's just completely change who we are. Ugh. That's toxic! I enjoy the movie. I watch it with my brain turned on. I don't internalize the messages or model my life after it. I dig the song and dance, I dig all the performances, but this relationship is toxic as f***. I can't believe it. Danny Zuko turned Jack? That's right, I did. Like a personal betrayal. What, you guys can't follow Eater all your lives, can you? No. Oh, come on, guys. You know you mean a lot to me. It's just that Sandy does, too, and I'm gonna do anything I can to get her. And this is the problem. If he was doing it because he loved running... Yeah. First of all, if his friends aren't supporting him... That's stupid. Yeah. Dude. Sandy means a lot to me, I'm gonna do anything I can to get her. Like, there's a grain of something healthy there. Sandy? Tell me about it. Stay. You're the one that I want. The one that I want. Change everything about you, and I'll want that. That really is catchy, isn't it? Because he, very much here, is showing up as who she has projected him to be, who she's wanted him to be. So he's like, I'll do whatever it takes to get her. And she's like, I'll do the same. And that means completely throwing away who I've been my entire life. I am a completely different, entirely other person now, for no other reason, than I want to be with this bully. So, in fairness, as they are both torching their sense of self, it's a really catchy song that goes along with that, Self Betrayal. I guess that does it. And I'm only saying that half-joking, I do really like the song. Listen, it bops. It's fun. Yeah, it's fun. It totally bops, and then they fly away somehow. There is that. They've completely changed who they are, and then floated magically into space. What is the difference between what happened here, and just accepting influence from someone? Because you talk about that all the time. Accepting influence can be, and often is, a very good thing. I think it really comes down to, for example, if there's a side of me that I never would have explored, but the person that I'm with opens that up. So I try new experiences, and I find that I like them. Or I try on different roles, or grow in areas of my personality that were underdeveloped before. That's all healthy and beautiful. There could have been a healthier version of this story, where she arrives at a very similar place, where she is sexually powerful, and assertive, and confident, and that's seen as a positive thing. But that story would have looked like her recognizing, this is what I want for me. I don't want to be this person anymore, how I've been raised, how I've been brought up. I'm making a conscious change for myself to become this, because this is who I want to be. But I can't help but read this as, Sandra Dee is playing this part. Oh look, it's working. Danny's interested. We're going to be together. But in a day or two, she's going to come back down to, this isn't who I am. Right. And a similar thing. Danny might justifiably recognize, my friends are idiots. What are you, my mother? It's totally okay for me to be openly affectionate with, and respectful towards my girlfriend. And maybe I like to run track. And that's all okay. The issue is that he did it for her approval, not because he wanted to. He was changing who he was, so she would like him. And that's not a great message. So again, we don't have to avoid movies with toxic relationships, or toxic messages, which Grease has both. Sure. We do need to watch them with our brains turned on. Approach Grease that way. You don't like Grease. I still like Grease, but this is bad. Listen, watching this movie, I get it. If you grew up on this, and it's like a nostalgia thing for you, or you were just raised on it, go with God. Sounds awesome. I hadn't seen it until I was a 43 year old, bitter, tired old man. And you know what? That's the energy I brought to it, and here we are. So what do you think of this, toxic or not? Did we get it right, or do you disagree? Let us know in the comments below. And if you'd like a lot more toxicity in your life, or not that, you can subscribe to our channel, and learn things. Listen guys, his best years are behind him. Way behind me. We're just propping him up because we love him. Just a long, slow decline into the grave. So until next time, Go Grease Lightning, you're burning up the quarter mile. Grease Lightning, Go Grease Lightning, and watch movies. We want to thank our patrons for supporting this show. If you join our Patreon, just like them, you get extended director's cuts, that are longer, and don't have ads, and they come out early. And a bunch of behind the scenes stuff, and comedy bits, and all kinds of, it's great. Outtakes. Bloopers. Good stuff. Like what I'm saying right now, it'll probably be on the outtakes. Folks like Bo, Ryan Smith, DCom Lover, Alena Podvolner, Bayrat Baharat, I shouldn't be trusted with this name. Barat Agarwal. Thank you. Thanks patrons! Thanks patrons. And future patrons, this is your parking, this is future patron parking.