Leonardo DiCaprio Sent Nikki Glaser Baskets of Pasta After the Golden Globes Extended

Welcome back. I'm so glad to be here. I have to say I my voice is a little hoarse. Oh, I um, I lost my voice screaming at Coachella. Um, that's the name of my housekeeper Oh my god stole my watch that I was wearing And uh screaming at Coachella. Oh my god, but it's a you know, you ever get hoarse you kind of feel sexy I'm kind of like oh, it's a little bit like Dua Lipa. Yeah. Yeah, I do like it My Dua Lipa's might fall out of this dress too, by the way. Oh my how are you? How have you been? I'm good I'm, really good a little time. I mean like how how is anyone right now? I mean, we're at war I mean alex versus alex. I mean it's tough and yeah, you have to choose a side alex Are you following this alex versus alex thing? It's so confusing. Yeah, it's the blondes are fighting. Yes Everyone's affected straight of hormones is fine. But the the gays of hormones are gagged um It is I mean, it's just like it's I don't know what's going on trying to understand it It's two gorgeous blondes. One of them is alex with an eye Um, well, they both have eyes. I wish one of them had one eye But there's just like two I go I keep trying to ask my like gen z friends like please just explain what this is like what's happening Yeah, and then when they get into it, it's like so much information But also like you just don't care and it's like they're explaining a dream to you like it's like one of where they're just like there's an alex that has a podcast and there's an alex that Gets ready with you and then there's a brianna chicken fry and like And now I know this woman's name brianna chicken fry That's gonna be in my head for like i'm always gonna know that name and I don't know anything about world war one But like I know, you know, brianna chicken fry, but yeah, it's intense the pope just put out a statement He denounced one of the alexes. I mean, it's really It's really getting wrong. Oh my god is getting but I am really I picked a side and because I know both of them And I just have to announce that I am team alex That's Good for you. You have the biggest side. Yeah I uh, I I I want to say congratulations on a lot of things because uh We always love it when you come here But since the last time you've been on the show Yeah, your stand-up tour the alive and unwell tour was one of the top 10 highest grossing comedy tours of 2025 nikki glazer You were also named one of time magazine's 100 most influential people for the second year Cover yes we have the cover of time magazine because it's like You get it and it looks like one of those ones that you would get done at like a kiosk in the mall Like it just seems like a joke to me. Yeah and influential. I'm just like what I don't know I tried to like talk to a group of kids today to get them to start smoking and they weren't interested Like i'm trying to influence anyone Yeah, yeah, but it's it's it's such an honor. It's so cool. Uh, you also hosted saturday night live for the first time Yes, you were fantastic on there by the way, it was so fun. It's the best week of my life. Did you love it? I was obsessed. It was so much fun because it's like you just go in there. It is your it's your whole life It's all you care about for a week. Everything focuses around it and then um, and then on sunday No one calls you like no one needs you anymore from the show you've made 14 new best friends that you've been like creating with all week and you're like guys like Are we gonna do it again? They're like well we are but like not Not you and then you just go on to watch the show and you're kind of just like watching like a girl That's been like ghosted by a guy and i'm like, oh now they're dating Glenn powell like you're like and i'm happy for them. I moved on too. I'm on the jennifer Hudson show this week So i'm doing just fine Yeah, you're doing but it is feel it feels like your love box in a way because it was just like the best time and Then it did disappear. So i'm just but i'm obsessed with the show I literally it it was beyond all expectations of how fun it was. It was awesome Well, I will tell you that everyone loved you, uh up at sarah. Oh, really? Yes That's so nice. Very nice to everyone. They loved you You're a great host. I had the best time. Uh, you also hosted the golden glows for the second time and it was Your host again for a third time go nikki That's what i'm talking about. Thanks. You are great Thank you at that job. You've done it. I mean it's it's so it's so hard. It's a tough job. Yeah, and it's like Thank you. It's you know So much of it I have to say depends on the the crowd like the the celebrities being able to laugh at themselves And I work really hard to make sure the jokes are good and the audience at home like likes how far i'm going But that I don't go too far. I don't ruin anyone's night but there's some jokes that you just don't know until you tell them like how they're gonna land like You know because the whole night is based off if you tell a joke it could be a great joke but if the reaction shot is if they're just like Huh, then then the headlines are nikki went too far you know like there was one joke I had that was like And I don't know if it would have worked but I took it out because it could have just confused The person was about it was um, you know gene smart is here and um, that is a stage name you know, um, her actual name is corduroy dumbass and um Exactly. So it's a little it's a little bit of a thinker But if she would have just if she would have been like taking a sip of water or something It would have just been like nikki glazer calls gene smart a dumbass and it would just that would have been it so it was so awesome though that um that that the people like like So after I do it I always send flowers to everyone that I made fun of that like was a good sport about it Which was everyone just to say thank you because it is a part of why i'm successful at it And um the only person who sent something back to me I I did a joke about leonardo DiCaprio, which I was really struggling with because I was like I just don't want to make the joke about how he has young girlfriends It's been done so many times. I mean it's been that joke's been going on longer than you know His current girlfriend's been alive. Yeah It's truly been Around forever and like I don't want to do it But then it was like there was nothing else to say about him and then I was like, well, that's kind of funny So then I was like let's try to find like this guy doesn't reveal anything about himself Let's find something he's revealed And so I me and my writing team found a team beat article from 1991 where he revealed I was like leon We don't know anything about you You know The only thing we know about you is from a team beat article in 1991 where you told us your favorite food is pasta pasta and more pasta and um And it really was real and then he sent me um three baskets of pasta as a thank you He sent me pasta pasta So funny good dude So good. That's funny. And part of me was part of it was like Does leo want to smash like I was like, all right and then I was like if he the type of girl he goes where he wouldn't send pasta to like It was like a dry pasta. Like it was I think I think the company was like menna pasta like He would have maybe Spaghetti o's maybe I would have been more his type Maybe a crib full of you know dunkaroos and go-gurt. I would have been like, oh he's into me. But um I made a he dates young girls. I can't stop but he uh, I did. Um, and I did joke about sean penn looking like um a sexy leather handbag and um And so i'm waiting for a package from hermes any day now Sean are you watching sean? Are you listening? Where are you? He's in the ukraine right now brokering a peace deal between the alexes Backstage you were telling me that you have an obsession with it with the new Oh, i'm I can't stop eating uncrustables. It's my favorite food. Has anyone let this food into their heart in a real way? What have you tried them yet? No Oh my god, I because I always like looked at them like that would be good But then I started eating them. I have like four a day They I started on them because I was babysitting my nephew and he went to sleep and I took an edible and so I got Into him and I realized like they're marketing for for little kids But they're they're really for high adults is what they're for and they are so good they um and and I buy them bulk because I eat like four to six a day and so It is awkward like going to target with all that and there's always the conversation of like, oh Got a lot of kids at home and i'm like no i'm a pedophile, you know, this is my bait I don't know what to say. It's just an awkward conversation But they are so you have to try they're so good the bread is like So soft and it's it is funny because they're like it's an easy peanut butter and jelly sandwich It's like oh, yeah, like because you know Sometimes you just don't like to cook and it's like it's because it's the easiest food made even easier It's like a bidet that like poops for you Like it's like it doesn't need to be easier than peanut butter and jelly But they cut off the crust the bread is so soft. It's like temper foam material. I think it's It's it really is the consistency I feel like Like when you ever see like a baby's chunky arm and you're like, I just want to bite it. Yes, and you're like You can now it's so good I have them on me all the time. I even tonight I have them right now. I um Burnham is shapewear now They literally work. Look how deflated I am now Now it's all gone. Wow, this one's for you. Thank you Thank you so much literally try I want you to get in on that it's very warm These are the strawberries If you want grape I have those in my I want to talk about here. I have another thank you I want to talk about your very funny new stand-up special. Yeah, nikki glazer. Good girl. Good girl. Yeah Yep premieres this friday on hulu. Yes, it does. Are you excited? I am, you know, like I love doing stand-up I've always loved it. I loved it because it's like I just get to be a version of myself I don't get to be anywhere else and it's so fun to do it live and it just exists in this little room with these people That saw it live and then you have to put out a special and you're like, oh no everyone's gonna see this like it's kind of like I have this overwhelming feeling feeling that i'm like putting out a sex tape like it's like that vulnerable for me Because stand up for me i'm just like unbridled and I say things that I wouldn't say normally And I make weird faces and weird sounds and it feels almost the same way of like I like to have sex But I don't want to hear anyone be like that was so funny what you did last night, you know Like I don't want to hear any commentary on it at all So I am just kind of like off all the I don't I it's very vulnerable for me, but it really is like It's this act that i've been working on for so long. It's like my most personal thoughts. It's um, it's really out there I I almost don't want people to see it because it's so vulnerable So if that but I I think you should because I worked really hard on it. It's really funny and it's gorgeous Good girl on hulu. I want to I want to show a clip. Here's nikki glazer in good girl. Take a look I'm gonna get a facelift in a couple years And thank you for cheering that on most people are like don't don't do it Thank you. I don't know whether to be insulted by you cheering it on or not, but I appreciate that What I don't want when I get a facelift is anyone being like that's so sad. She did that Why did she do that? And if the answer is it's because it's gonna lead to a better life for me I'm on tv a lot. I'm gonna look amazing. I'm gonna get better roles. I'm gonna get paid more for those roles I'm gonna get fire emojis from kristin cavallari like it Do you know how good it feels to have bowen yang write diva with 19 a's underneath a picture of you? Looks like he just fell asleep on the key Come on, you are so slave everybody Her stand-up special good girl premieres this friday on hulu. Jesse. Tyler ferguson joins us after the break stick around