על רצינות הנישואין

true stories
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4 просмотры видео·29 мар. 2026 г.
אני חושבת שהדור שלי נפל בין הכיסאות כשמדובר בנישואין רציניים, ובשני הכיסאות האלה הייתה חסרה הרגל הרביעית, שהייתה אמורה להיות שם בשביל לייצב את הכיסא כולו. כיסאות מתנדנדים על שלוש רגליים – נישואי אהבה ונישואי תועלת. נישואי אהבה היו מעורערים משום שהאהבה הזו, בדרך כלל, נגמרת מהר. נישואי תועלת היו מעורערים משום שאחד מבני הזוג היה מחפש אהבה במקום אחר
Let's talk about the seriousness of marriage.
I think that my generation has fallen between the chairs in the question of the seriousness of marriage.
Moreover, there were not enough fourth legs in the chairs where it should have been for the stability of the whole chair.
Three-legged rocking chairs, marriage by love and marriage by calculation.
Marriage by love was shaken by the fact that love, as a rule, ended quickly.
Marriage by calculation, as a rule, was shaken due to the fact that one of the spouses was looking for love on the side.
I recently read an article on the website of the Ministry of Marriage, where the author discusses this topic in great detail.
The article prompted me to think about it, because my attitude to marriage for half a century underwent a rather complex evolution,
until I gained a stable understanding, in many ways consistent with the author of the article.
The author writes,
Since the moral norms in modern society continue to decline,
divorces have become an increasingly common phenomenon in recent years, and people, as a rule, are no longer surprised by this.
Some believe that if the spouses do not get along, they can break up,
and many regard divorce and re-marriage as something that a person should do freely,
and this is his personal life and personal business.
I am deeply concerned that people's hearts are not where they should be.
People perceive marriage as a commodity, and if they don't like it, they just return it or exchange it.
Non-marital relationships have even become fashionable.
Moral norms, what is it?
In my youth, I didn't even ask myself such a question.
Moral norms.
There was no concept of traditional culture in the lexicon.
Anna Karenina was a positive heroine and unhappy because the foundations of the old church Hanga society
did not allow a person to freely love, divorce and live with the one he fell in love with.
And in the new progressive society, a woman, all the more beautiful, is a property of universal public love,
and let her choose as many partners as she wants for her beauty.
If she is lucky with a partner, we will applaud, and if not, we will sympathize.
According to traditional culture, the author of the article writes,
happiness depends on the benevolence of a person,
and he will be blessed if he does good and behaves properly.
Doing everything possible to satisfy your selfish desires is dangerous and unproductive.
I didn't know how to behave properly.
It turns out that benevolent behavior is very simple.
To enjoy good physical and mental health,
enough food and clothes,
good character,
a long life and a good death,
and not to crave more, for example, love or attractive appearance.
My poor, young head and heart were overflowing with thoughts of external attractiveness,
and how I suffered when a pimple popped out on my face.
In ancient times, people treated marriage as a predetermined relationship with God,
says the article.
The significance of the agreement of parents and relatives was given great importance,
and in our modern world, the aspiration for passionate love is exalted.
For some reason, it is considered the key to a happy marriage.
The usual phenomenon is to have several partners before marriage in order to find the right one.
And if you think you made a mistake, then divorce,
share common property,
and if you have children, then children.
It's unpleasant, but what can you do?
You have to live, enjoy.
With death, all pleasure will end.
But with pleasure, things are not so simple.
Some studies have shown that changes in the brain during the period of infatuation
are similar to those that occur after taking drugs.
If those who enjoyed the feeling of infatuation no longer feel this excitement,
then they leave this person and move on to someone else.
Many people who enter a non-marital relationship
think that they have found a cure for their unsuccessful marriage.
Although in fact, this is just an anesthesia shot.
In most cases, the true love that, as they seem, they have gained,
does not last long.
As soon as the initial feeling of happiness passes,
the pain becomes even stronger than before, says the article.
When I realized that God exists,
and the divine, and not the Communist Party,
directly governs all things,
I really wanted to learn more about it in general.
Therefore, I went to religion in the late 80s,
where my wounded by drug addiction from love,
not young anymore, but still a young heart,
to some extent found calm.
I consciously and confidently stepped on the aspiration for passionate love
and conscientiously listened to the rules
of the centuries-old Religious Institute of the Family,
without regretting inheriting it, which was good.
The author of the article gives an example from the book
Ancient Leadership on Moral Education.
The book tells about one scientist
who considered himself a talented writer,
and everyone praised him.
One night he went home drunk and was deceived by a thought.
If I pass the imperial exam,
I will take my neighbor's daughter as a hostage.
That same night a scribe appeared to him,
the spirit of whom God took from the earth,
and showed him a brochure with his name.
There was a note in it, written in red ink,
which said,
although his thoughts are just hallucinations,
they come from moral errors.
Because of the wrong thoughts,
at some point he will be punished
with freezing and hunger for one day.
Later, the scientist really almost froze
and did not die of hunger.
The old saying goes,
there should be no business that cannot be told to others,
and thoughts that cannot be told to heaven.
Based on my rich and bitter experience,
I was convinced that all our thoughts are material.
In another space they have a form,
they can be touched, smelled, tasted.
And there is the One who sees all our thoughts like on a palm.
Moreover, He knows what we will think about in the future,
and He helps us to change our bad thoughts
coming from erroneous ideas,
coming from selfishness,
if only we sincerely want it.
In the ancient Chinese book
there is a story about how God
annulled the merits of one scientist
for helping to write a statement about divorce.
The scientist began to be persecuted by misfortune.
At first he did not know what mistake he had made.
Then he realized that the fact was
that he had gone too far from traditional values.
He realized that divorce deviates from the will of God
and does not conform to traditions.
That even those who help others get divorced
deserve condemnation.
Then the scientist managed to convince the spouses
to get married again and prevent the divorce of other people.
After that, his career was successful.
No wonder there is an old Chinese saying
that it is better to demolish ten temples
than to destroy one marriage.
The ancients believed that spouses
were a couple created in heaven.
This is God's plan,
which cannot be destroyed at will,
writes the author of the article.
Oh, if only we knew
that couples are created in heaven
from an early childhood!
We would not have made so many unnecessary mistakes
that we have to pay for
and suffer for all our lives.
The author of the article writes
that the unfaithfulness of spouses
often leads to misfortunes
and harms several families.
Those who enter non-marital relations
usually have a lower moral bar
or do not want to give up
their personal interests
when conflicts arise.
Selfless people, on the contrary,
focus less on themselves
and at the same time gain well-being.
An egoistic heart leads to misfortune,
dissatisfaction,
anger, envy, and so on.
The preference of one's interests
is not always a really good thing.
We are responsible for everything we do
and must think about
whether our actions
correspond to the heavenly principles.
The heavenly principle is quite simple.
To restrain sexual desire
without allowing inappropriate thoughts.
The one who created us sees everything.
Modern ideas are distorted
and push people to search
for strong love experiences
and such a kind of search is drug addiction.
A calm, quiet way of thinking
that pleases everyone
good that he has.
It is the depth
of real happiness.
Treat your spouse well
and value what you have.
Be happy, grateful
and take care of the kindness of your heart.
Here is our blessing.
Written by the author of the article
on the seriousness of marriage.
And I completely agree with her.
