WHY I GOT DIVORCED

I don't go around bragging saying that I take lit pics. We go out and we vlog and I get inspired when I see your young face and I see like the cool artist writer in New York, so I say, all right, I'm going to turn my camera on. Get lit pics. None of these pictures are certified lit. They're pretty lit. Are they or are they not? You keep going back and forth. Well, I'm only saying that because I'm trying to motivate you to make your pictures more lit. But if I say that they are, then you will just remain, you'll stagnate on your litness. But I need to say that they're not so that you only improve on your lit. Okay. I'll up my game. I'm going to show these pics in the vlog and we'll let the people be the judge if they're lit or not. All the people are going to say, yeah, Jason, those pics are lit, but you know what? I am your friend and I know that they're lit, but I want to improve how well you take lit pics. Don't mess with my head. Are they lit or are they not? They're pretty lit. My story. I take my kids to school every day. Today's vlog is, I did something really bad. I just have been putting a lot of things off. A lot of things. I don't have a registration. I don't have a license. So anyway, today what we're going to do is I'm going to take care of all the things that I haven't been doing because I'm making YouTube videos. I'd like to stop doing YouTube. I really would for a while, but I also like to feed my children. So we're going to do a bunch of stuff today. I'm going to go to the gym. I'm going to wash my car. I'm going to call the dentist. See what the deal is. I was talking to this girl last night on Instagram, she's age appropriate. She's 35. I was realizing at what point do I tell her that I live with four 20 year olds, that I really don't have time for a girlfriend because all I do is make videos, that I have two children and she'd never, ever, ever, ever, ever be able to compete with them in terms of how much I love them. That shot was a real pain in the ass to set up. I actually had to come out here, put the camera here, then film myself, make myself look like I'm leaving and it just made me late. So yeah, you guys still like me? Oh, thank you, sir. Thank you for letting me go. That is very kind and I shall pay it forward to the next person, sir. We went to Casey Neistat's office the other day. I can't describe to you, Casey Neistat's a different kind of human being. He's just, he's just not like the rest of us. He is so damn special. His office is just cool. It's just got all kinds of stuff in there. He's got a saw. He's got like every piece of video he's ever shot since he was like three years old. There's pictures of him. He's in space shooting a vlog. It's just incredible. And he set up a great thing for himself in New York where, you know, he's, he's, he's like making videos. He's working on a lot of projects with a lot of different people and I just love it. I love it. And we feel so lucky to be able to like hang out with him. I can't really make fun of Todd because I get the same way, but Todd gets pretty giddy when he, he knows he's going to get to hang out with Casey. You know, he'll say stuff like, uh, what should I do? Should I shake his hand? Or? Yeah, Todd, shake his hand. I don't know. Do you think so? It's cool to shake someone's hand, right? With a fist bump? What do you think? I don't know, Todd. I mean, either one. I'm sure Casey would be fine with either. Nah, I don't know. Maybe a hug. A hug? You think a hug would be good? My ex-wife, she wants to restucco her house. She's really into her house, which I gave for her in the divorce. I had no business ever even thinking it was, she worked to buy that house. That's her house. That was really the secret that I can tell you for today, is that I was working a lot of my life trying to make like independent movies, but I wasn't making any money. So when the divorce came, I think everyone around her was like, he's going to take your house. And of course she came to me and she was like, um, I just, you know, I don't want you to take the house from me and the kids. And I was like, what kind of person do you think I am? I would never, I would go like live in a cemetery before I would do that to you. But you know, that's what happens in divorce. You know, lawyers say things and, uh, but yeah. So anyways, I did get some pretty cool chairs though. Next stop is bagels. That's what happens next. I don't know. See, to me, this is a fun vlog. Just some nut job going to get bagels. These people hate me. They hate me so much because I come in every day and I only buy two bagels, so I'm really not even worth their business. I need two 18. All right. Now I have $2 and 10 cents and just need that other, trust me, these people better have that 10 cents. Hi. Can I have two sesame? Thank you. You're filming. I just want to show them the Egypt thing. It looks so good. Voila. I need to practice now. Okay. Go practice. Are you being the audience? You can put it in your pocket. Just remember that that's your money to get tickets and food and stuff at the carnival. Are you really filming? You're making lunch? I got out of school at 12.40 this evening. 12.40? Oh, good. And then you got to go to the carnival or? She has a carnival too. Oh, you have a carnival too? Mm-hmm. Well, that's kind of sad. You guys can't go to the same carnival anymore. I don't want to be on carnival. Why? I don't want to. You look good. No. Come on. I need a video for today. Please, no. I don't want to be part of it. All right. Can I film me? No. Why don't you want to be a part of it? I don't want to be a part of it. I do not want to. You're going to sue me? Yes. Are you serious? No. Cut it out. I'm not filming you. I'm filming me. I have every right to film myself. Hold on. I will sue the ---- out of you. Can I film your dog? No. Duke? You better get in touch. Wait, look. I know how you think of it. You think of it as like, oh, Jason, he wants to be a YouTube star. I really just want to get a video up today so I can go to the Halloween carnival. All I need is like 30 seconds. All I need is like one joke. I probably already got it. Probably, yeah. It's just you're so good, you can't even. Huh? You're just so good, you don't even know you got it. You're just a natural. No. What I meant was I'll probably just put the thing in where you said you're going to sue me. All right. I won't put you on it. I'll blur you out. What do you mean you don't want to be on it? We shot a whole handcuff video. You mean you don't want to be on it because you don't have makeup on? I don't want to be on it. Sometimes I get kicked out the door. You could be a big star. I'm telling you. Wyatt and Charlie always say it. They're like, Mommy's really funny. I don't know why she doesn't want to be in the videos. Why does she seem too fascinated? Okay, slow down. You ready for your project on Egypt? Yeah. Okay, well, let's go. We need to go, right? Look how much I wrote. This. Oh, my God. Wyatt. And that. And then. And you have to read this? You have to read this in front of the class? Uh-huh. It's going to take forever to read. I know. Mommy says it's fun. He's late. 7.44. Let's go. Is that my makeup on? We got to go, man. We're not going to be. We're not going to make it today. The second I thought I just got really big. I got to drop Charlie. We're going to be late for school. 7.52 and we're still not with Charlie at Charlie's school. You know what they say? Eight is late. Okay, Charlie, are you ready for this? Go, go, go. Whoa. What are you doing? I'm just trying to say hi to Charlie. We got to make it before the traffic comes. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go. 7.54. You're scared to present to the class? Yeah. Why are you scared? Nervous. Yeah, but you're good. You're in all kinds of videos. And it's really long, so it's going to be, like, boring. Yeah, that's going to take a long time to read. Yeah. Do you want to cut some of it out? I could just skip a few lines. But I mean, like, all of it's going to be important. But you need to learn editing. When I asked Mommy about it, she thought I wasn't presenting it. She thought I was. I think you should, like, pick sections and read them. No, wait. I believe I can fly. Then I got run over by the ice cream guy. Now I'm sitting in the hospital. All I wanted was a Popsicle. That's great. Come on. Get ready. Bye, guys. This is the post-Drop Wyatt Off opera. All right. This is the DMV. Probably most of America's worst nightmare to come here. I don't think anyone enjoys coming to the DMV. But it needs to be done. People that work for the DMV are known for acting really jerky. So let's see if we can cheer them up today. So this is why I don't go to the DMV. This is why I don't do anything, because this is taking two hours. It's 9.30. I've been here since 8.12, which isn't two hours. But in your mind, you're like, that's frickin' two hours. So this is why you can't do anything. But seriously, this is taking way too long. Well, that was sheer hell. But I got a new license coming in the mail. I have to pay a bunch of parking tickets. The parking tickets are already paid. But the agencies, they don't talk to the DMV. So I have to call the agencies who took the money and tell them it's 10.30. I got to post today. I got to go to Wyatt's Halloween Carnival. I want to go to the gym, because my stomach is getting bigger and bigger. I'm turning into not only the old guy from David's Vlogs, but the fat guy from David's Vlogs. I think what I'll do next is get a car wash. Hey, can I just do a wash, no vacuum? Regular wash? Yeah, just a wash. I don't have time for a vacuum. But you need outside window clean everything now, or just want to express wash? Just express wash. I made a movie called Jason Nash is Married. Ironically. I have a scene in the car wash where... No brake. Oh, no brake. I used to make, like, sad movies. Well, that movie's kind of sad. Oh, here we go. We're rolling. But when I go through the movie, there's a scene in the car wash, and it's set to a Bon Iver song. And I got Bon Iver for $100. God bless Bon Iver for giving us this track for $100. But the idea was that the character was, like, you know, going through some sort of cleansing or whatever. But now I don't make movies anymore. I make YouTube videos, which is cool. I used to want to express, like, so many, like, feelings and, like, dark things. I sort of learned that people don't care about that. I just want to come home and be a silly 44-year-old guy and go around in L.A. with a bunch of 21-year-old kids and wax his chest and get tazed. Well, that's my day. I got a lot of stuff done. I paid a lot of bills. Probably the most interesting thing of today was I got to see some of my ex-wife. I wish we liked the same things, you know what I mean? You could probably see why we got divorced. And I did go over to Wyatt's Halloween carnival, and it was super fun. I didn't bring my camera because we had an incident at school last week where Josh and David caused a scene, and there was a crowd that rushed them. And so I decided not to bring my camera. If you want to hear that story, I put it at the end of this episode. There's a little clip from the podcast. So the kids are coming over. Wyatt and Troy are coming over. They're going to stay over, and then the boys are going out to a Halloween party, which is cool because they drink here before they start drinking at 9 or 10. They actually take a really long time to go out. They don't actually get out of the house until like 11.30. So it's kind of like I'm going out too. They'd have the party here, which when you're 44 years old, that's freaking ideal. It's like when you go visit your nana in the old folks' home, and you take her around the corner to the deli, like literally a two-minute car ride, and she's just exhausted. That's me, basically. I just want to stay home and eat a corned beef sandwich. I don't think this was the funniest vlog, but sometimes I think that's part of being a vlogger is just letting you see what's what. You see me in the vlogs. I try to make you guys laugh a lot. I'm not sad. I'm just I feel really good, actually, because I'm not stressing this vlog at all. Summer down, won't you love? I'm taking one for the team. We taking shots till it's love. You never know where we could end up. Leave this bar, raise the bar for you. Hang your wardrobe in the winter. Don't you come around. What's up, everybody? Please hit like and subscribe. Tweet me at Jason Nash. Instagram at Jason Nash. Today's shout-out is Mohsen. Mohsen, thank you so much for watching. There are still tickets left for our Boston date on November 12th at the Wilbur Theater, the Views Live podcast. Guys, I'm from Boston, and my mom is so freaking excited that we're going to be doing a show there. Because Todd's coming. Yes, exactly. How come you guys not sold out Boston yet? Someone hasn't tweeted it yet. I'm not going to say who. Todd's got to get on tweeting. I get a phone call. Yes. I get a phone call. Be in the principal's office at 8.30 on Monday. He gets a phone call to go to the principal's office, guys. Why is he just rolling his eyes? He's just like, you better go take care of that. This is my least favorite part of the story. In conclusion, Jason ends up going to the principal's office. It doesn't tell me that he ended up going. Three days later, I get a call from the principal, and so does Josh. Josh texts me freaking out. He's like, why is the principal of the school calling us? I thought Jason settled this problem. Then Jason goes, oh, man. Yeah, I totally forgot. I gave the principal your phone number to prank you guys. So after he went in the meeting with the school principal, Jason somehow convinced this guy and was like, hey, it'd be funny if you with my friends, and called them, and said that he needed to speak to them. And Josh calls me scared, and I call him scared. And I'm like, dude, what's going on? Are we going to get detention? Even though we're not in school, I'm still scared about detention.