SHE DIDN'T EXPECT THIS!!

How's it going babe? What did they do? They make fun of your weight. But you're not actually fat. Somebody just made a joke about my weight. And we just met these two girls and they were dying. She was like ha ha. It is by me but you're not. You're like a dead body. Go ahead. Go ahead. Bury the hole. Keep digging. Keep digging. You're like a fit dad. You're like there. You're like, you know. You're old. You're old. And that's what happens. You're dying. Your body's shutting down. You're not fat. You laughed at the joke though. It was just the timing of it. There must be some, if it was funny, there must be some truth. No, you're fat. You're like a super heavyweight. Like a super wrestler. New hot dog putties. These feel good. Guys, this is Portillo's and it's a really, really good place. Really good food. Hot dogs, Italian beef. As you can see, Jay's food review coming at you right here. Look at that. Greek salad if you want to keep it healthy. But David gets the Italian beef and the hot dog. I like that too. It's really about the hot dog and the Italian beef. What's up, man? What's your name? Oh, Manny. Nice to meet you, man. Manny? Yeah. Okay, where are you from? I'm from here. I'm actually from Waukegan. Waukegan? Yeah, I watch your videos. Yeah, I watch them every day. When you upload them, obviously. So are you a big Portillo fan? Love Portillo. I can tell. Big guy right there. Real big guy. What did you get there? This is the Portillo's hot dog's uniform. I have a clean white shirt. Okay, what size is it? I got the apron. XL. Large. Hopefully the large fits you. I don't know. Okay. So you think I'm an XL. All right, I'm ready. I'm ready to be a Portillo's worker today. Yep, you gotta rhyme. You have to rhyme. Oh, is that the Portillo's thing? You rhyme here? Yeah. Give me an example. You have to rhyme the order number. Oh, no kidding. Number eight, I'm feeling great. That's great. I don't know. Number eleven. Number four, you're out the door. David's is so good. Little pasta vodka. Do you know how hard it is to watch you guys have hot dogs and pasta and I'm eating this? It's not fun. Look at her. Oh, I'm so jealous. Won't let me shoot her van. Natalie's mom has an RV. She won't let me film it. She wants to go on a month-long trip instead. I said, girl, I don't have that much time. Won't let me film the RV. And you gotta see this RV. It is. I get Jeff or David in there making jokes. Hot vlog. Look at this guy. David thinks that for my place in life, I probably should dress better. Let's do this. A full body pan on Jason right now. You got half your fly showing. And then you got this tucked in the underwear. Oh, there you go. This is workout gear. Okay. This is workout gear. I don't know if that makes it better. I don't get it. Why Sprite? Why is Sprite giving away free tactical Sprites? It just gives you that focus that you need to shoot your friends with a paintball gun. It's a sugar order. It's just soda. Hey, do you know the secrets to paintball and airsoft guns? We're at a paintball store for David. Because Jeff presented a paintball idea earlier and I was like, no paintball ideas. Yeah, but you don't get shot if you win the competition. I just want to make him happy. Yeah. That's a good idea. You went too deep in the well. David now looking at the tactical Sprite. Not sure what he thinks of it. I told David about Woosh Airlines and Bloop. What did he think? Guess what he chose? You like Bloop better? Of course. That's why you guys are not businessmen. Can I tell you why? Because Woosh is Woosh. You've disappeared. Bloop is you've showed up somewhere. People want to know that they can arrive somewhere safely. Bloop is you got there. Woosh is you've been Wooshed away. You've disappeared. Bloop sounds like you might choke through the portal with a leg for an arm. No. Bloop is Bloop. I'm here. Woosh. Where did he go? He's gone with the wind. It's two versus two. Tell him your other names. First off, let me say this. Bloop and Woosh are great names to go up against each other. I will say that. First he said Woosh and I was like, that's a great name. And then he said Bloop and I was like, this is a battle. Natalie likes Woosh. He had Bloop first and he talked about the portal thing and then I Zuckerberged him and came up with a better name. Just tweaked a few things. Oh, sick. These are sick. We could do photo shoots with them. We actually need those. Great, let's do it. Let's buy them all. Must be nice. If you really care about your career here and your audience and your fans, you can buy them all. To be rich? Yeah. Well, I was going to say to spend whatever you want on videos with no care of how much you're spending. These are little smoke grenades we're going to use for Jeff's, for the vlog and then maybe an Instagram shoot. And then two wife shoots, you know. You what? Just trying to get a lot of likes, man. Crack the algorithm. One of my favorite things to come to Vernon Hills is David will just fantasize about having an airplane that will come here and a big house with a basketball court, moving Scotty here to vlog with him. Todd, everybody. Or Zach or whatever the rest of their names are. I love Zach. The third guy named Zach, huh? Todd, Scott, Zach. Hey, we forgot that tactical sprite, huh, Jeff? Yeah. You forgot this. You want to be safe out there, you're going to need it. I'm shooting great today. Must be the tactical sprite. It's so weird that that's what they give away. They should probably have some sprite around. Sprite around. What are you cooking in here? Salad. Salad? Yeah. Oh, wow. Onions. Peas, onions, and carrots? Yeah, and diced carrots. What are you going to put on it? Well, then a little bit of pickles, you know. Okay. Pickles, dressing? And mayonnaise. And what? Mayonnaise. Mayonnaise? Mayonnaise. Oh, mayonnaise. Oh, it's going to be delicious. Yeah. This is quite the cooking show here. Yeah, you can try it. The scary chef. There you go. You like being home, Dom? Yeah, it's cool. It's a great room. You love it. It's cool, man. Being back, it's just like where it all started, you know? Chase, what's wrong with your hair? I've got to get it cut, man. I lost my hat today doing that stupid bit at Portillo's. That's awful. It's going to be the textbook. What do you want me to do? Wear a helmet. You can take off the mask if you want. A bike helmet? All the time? Yeah, I can't see the face. I get it. I want to see you put this mayonnaise on here. Yeah, you're getting buff. Getting buff for real. So, are you going to put the mayonnaise in here? No, I'm going to get the pickles. I'm going to get the pickles. This is Dom's dad. He doesn't like to have his face on camera because he has an important job. So, he's wearing the mask today. But don't be scared because he's a sweet man. And he's a wonderful dad. Yeah, this is scary chef. Welcome to my channel. Oh, wow. This is just... You're very good with a knife. Oh, yeah, sure. Very good. Chopping the pickles up now. Oh, you just cut my finger. Oh, you did? You're kidding. Just kidding. On this episode of Scary Chef, Scary Chef has to go to the hospital. Scary Chef now going in, seeing what he has. Ah, no more pickles, I guess. Ooh, Scary Chef, that was nice. Very nice, Scary Chef. Ah, a little bit missing the pickles. Yeah, not enough pickles. Well, you'll make it work. Scary Chef keeps a clean kitchen. That's for sure. Sanitary in here, always. Most important, keep it clean. For sure. Do you drink while you cook? Sometimes. Ooh. Oh, that's a lot of mayo. Very nice. I didn't know you'd go that hard on it. That is good for you. That much? Yeah, that's a lot. You know keto diet? Yeah, I know keto diet. Is this on the keto? What do you call this? So, we call this torture salad. Torture! Why, because it tastes bad? And you torture people? Or because you want them to have something good before you torture them? Of course. Yeah, got it. I want to have something good before I torture them. That's the word of well executioner. Well executioner. That's my name, Redman. Okay, guys. Would you like some torture salad? Somebody taste it. It looks really good. Somebody taste the torture salad. Hey, don't forget the small grenade. Just put it inside the salad. I'll taste it. You guys are the same person, man. You just took a bunch of things around the house and made a sloth and called it a meal. Here we go. Now tasting the torture salad. Oh my god. What's in there? Peas, carrots, onions, pickles, and mayonnaise. What? That's just condiments. That's disgusting. That's just a bunch of condiments. Why don't you guys try it first, Alex? Before you... That was very rude of me. Try the good stuff before you die. You're going to die from this? Oh, it's pretty good. Now you can die. Wow. I'd rather have Dom's chicken. No, skinny shirt! No thanks! Okay, bye. Thanks. It's really funny. Dom's dad's voice. I thought he was putting on with the mask, but that's actually what he sounds like. Was it fun? Yeah, it was great. Yeah, it was cool. I had my fun. That's awesome. There's your excitement for the weekend. How's the vlog going, Dave? Not good. You ready? For what? You got it? You got it all set? Going to just have a nice relaxing dinner now? Yeah, that's it. Dave's a little stressed. Got to get the vlog done. So we're all working on it now. Why don't you get a motorcycle? Because I'm rich and famous now. He's nuts. I don't want to die. Almost! He's got it. He's got it. Oh! He's getting it. Hello? Hey, Fast and the Furious call. They want you. Hobbs and Shaw, too. It's a lot of fun. It's just dangerous, you know? Yeah. I got too much to live for now. I know. Bro, where's your dad at? What's going on? I called him yesterday. He didn't come out. I called him today. He's not coming out. I come by every single day. You get to work fast? Oh, yeah. I just ride the shoulders all the way. You do? It's great. Yeah. It is pretty. So many people get mad. It's so funny, like, just seeing, like, people, like, flick you off. Like, they're getting, like, ready to, like, have you, like, see them flick you off. They already have, like, their window run. Now, like, f*** you! Did you always want a bike? No. Just fell in love with it? Yeah. I like jet skis. That's why I like bikes. And do you have a death wish? Yeah. You really don't care. You're like, I don't like plumbing that much. What's up, Matt? Hi, Mom! What are we doing tonight? We're supposed to be at the hotel already. Sitting in a sauna, you and me. We're going to Vernon Hills. Days. Yeah. Tonight? Yeah. It's a summer celebration festival. Everyone's going to be around us. I got paparazzi coming. One year, we had Smash Mouth performing. That was, like, the biggest year at Vernon Hills. No! You know All-Star, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah. Hey, now. You're lying. That was the biggest band ever. It was, like, seven years ago. It was the biggest thing. Not yet. David Dobrik. He's making this up. Yeah. I told you that was my favorite song of all time the other day. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. You said it was the best song of all time. We are going into a luxury apartment. Hey. This is Ilya's apartment. Wow. Okay, big baller. Okay. It's sexy. Holy cow, Ilya. Dope, right? Oh, my God. This is cool. Insane. This is some American psycho ---- right here. Yeah. Wow. How do we get into that party right there? Does it look that good? Everyone, put your flags on. It's four people drinking wine and he's slipping out. No, it's a surprise birthday party for someone. How can you tell that's a surprise? It says, Happy Birthday Surprise. Oh. You guys can see that far? I'm going to throw my phone. We only get one shot. Yeah, I know. Look. That's the view. Wow. We are still... Did you get like, kind of like dizzy when you walked out here at first? Yeah. I was scared right away. It's super weird. I think you might have a better view than David. I don't know. It's different. You see how easy this ---- is, bro? Ilya. Get out of the car and go close the trunk. I didn't even open it. It makes no sense. I don't give a ****. It makes no sense. I chose you. I'm not going to. Pikachu, go. Ilya and David have been friends for a long time, and now they're fighting about who's going to close the trunk. Alex, you close the trunk. I'm going to play this recording session. Who will close the trunk? Jason, you be Judge Judy. Dude, I'm going to play the ******* worst music ever. I literally will stay... I have LGE in here. It's ******* great. I have like the best connection I've ever had in a parking garage. Are you guys down to sleep in this car? Because that's what's going to be fair. I'll stay in this car for the rest of my life. I'm super comfortable. Oh, perfect. Guys, it's been a long day. It's been a really long day. We shot eight or nine bits. Most of them didn't work. Be the big guy here and go shut the ******* trunk. No. We'll see. Hey, be the big guy here and shut the trunk. Can you? Don't. No, I want Dave to cave for once. I'll cave. This isn't funny, man. You see that little sign right there? We've been in this parking garage for four minutes now because none of us will go shut. I'm in the middle. Bye.