EMBARRASSING MY BEST FRIENDS AT TARGET!!

Yeah, I lost my son, yeah. He's about 26. But he is lost. Yeah, isn't that crazy? I'm 46. Oh, there you are. I found him! What's up guys, welcome to today's video. I hope you're well. Over the weekend, I went to San Diego and I did a live stand-up show down there. And it was super fun. Thanks to everybody that came out in San Diego. It was awesome. Extra cool because a bunch of the guys tagged along with me. Jeff and Jonah did some comedy. And we just had a really good time. Also, I have tour dates, more tour dates coming up at restwhenimdead.com. Go to the link in the description. The next show is in West Palm and Miami on September 21st and 22nd. So if you live in Florida, come see us there. I'll be bringing a bunch of special guests with me. Oh, also check out my merch at fandroid.co backslash Jason Nash. I love you guys and enjoy today's video. Alright guys, what's up? I'm here. I'm going out to San Diego today to do my show. And yeah, there's my set. I'm practicing on the wall. Let's go see what's going on out here. It's pretty awesome living with 20-year-olds. They always have stuff going on. I'm going to sneak in and listen to them right now and eavesdrop. Can you stop being 105 years old, please? You can't come up here, Jason. Come on, man. I pay some of the rent. No, you don't. You pay nothing. I want to see Matt. He may pay some money, but you don't pay. Hi, Jason. Welcome to my office. This is fantastic. You look like you run a startup. I am running a startup. This is a whole business trying to keep these boys in line. What? You think this is a joke? You look like a chicken. I look like a chicken? You look like a chicken. You look like that cartoon character. Why don't you go get some bread and make me into a sandwich? I will. I want that, right? I will make you into a sandwich. Put some mayo on you. Put some lettuce and tomatoes. Eat you right up. This is what you have to do. You have to tame the beast. Go on. What are you guys doing today? I'm going to a party. Why? But Zane's like, people, I don't know. There's going to be people there. I'm going to have to be social and nice. I'm like, yeah. Do you have social anxiety? No, I don't. I don't know why I said that. I've never said that. This is all I said. Whose party is it? That's all I said. I had to pull up the Facebook invite because you were like, but whose party? It was a mansion party. I was like, oh, whose mansion party is it? First of all, who the f**k is a Facebook invite? Oh, because you guys are social media personalities. Normal people have Facebooks. No, they don't. You guys are all like in the DMs. I hate life. What's the invite? Who the f**k ordered me to eat honey? People from college. People our age are still on Facebook. Everywhere we go, this guy knows someone from high school. Anywhere we go. Every time we go out, this guy knows someone from Texas University. Really? Every time. Texas University. It was University of Texas, baby. I got an idea. What's up? You guys get in the limo, and we go to San Diego, and then we go to Omnia. I was interested. I was down. I even messaged Zane and said, are you going to San Diego? And he goes, probably not. And then from that, I was like, I'm not going. Is everybody happy here? Yes. I pulled up today, and I was like, I saw Zane's car, and I saw Matt's car. And I was like, oh, they're here. And I think we've got to make it extra special for Zane. And I don't know how I'm going to do that, but we're going to find some way. Wait, hold on. Make what extra special? Your time here. In prison. Your time living with a 50-year-old and his kids. Extra special for Zane. I can't wait. Do I look like I slimmed down? Yeah, you actually do. Really? I don't know if it's because you're wearing all black, but. Joe, does he look thinner from 48 hours ago? Not really. No, I started four days ago. I've lost like seven pounds. It was like two days ago. It really was. Wait, what are you doing? When did you get me the salad? Can you check your postmates? Two days ago. Delivery? It was Thursday. I ate a salad. What's today? Saturday. But that's still good. Yeah, it's progress. I believe maybe he lost seven. Seven pounds? I mean, of the 325 that he had. How much were you? 240? Like 315. No way. You weren't 315. You were like 240, right? 245. I swear to God. It looks like you lost weight. I don't know if it's because you're in all black, but I swear to God he does look thinner, Joe. Look. This was bigger. Yeah, lift it up. You lost weight. Do you have a progress picture? You definitely lost weight. Jonah, I'm not kidding. You definitely lost weight. Really? Yeah. Congratulations. He's been texting me his salads and stuff. It'll just be like 10 o'clock at night. There'll just be a picture of a salad. I feel so much better. Good. In the morning, when I woke up today, I felt so good. I'm like, dude, I feel really good. Your face looks better. Yeah? Your skin looks cleaner. You actually do. You got a glow. Your skin looks... Turn that light on. Look up to the light. Yeah, your skin looks better. Really? Yeah. That was one of my main concerns, too, because I want good skin. I do. I want really good skin. I'm obsessed with... I don't know. I need to have... Good skin. Sure. I can easily drop 50 pounds just because I love the lifestyle. I love... No, I'm not... Two days deep. I'm not kidding, dude. I don't want to eat... I don't want to eat crappy food. He sent me a text the other day. He was like, I feel so good. That was so psyched for you. I was like, oh, that's so great. I don't want to... I would never go to a fast food place right now. I'd never go to... I would... We're going to be stopping on the way as a test. All right. Jeff just played a basketball game. He scored 38 points, but he lost. He's going to talk to us. Jeff, Jeff, Jeff, how do you think the game went? I think I did great. But basketball, unfortunately, is not just a one person game. You got to rely on the team. And unfortunately, everybody else is not as good as me. More questions, more questions. Zane, how did you think Jeff played today? I think he was a disgrace to the entire team. I scored all the points. You haven't been showing him to practice every day. I don't need it. I scored all the points. Zane, I have a question. Do you think it's weird that Jeff goes out and parties with you guys but never touches any alcohol? I think it's weird. That is weird. I think it's weird that he's 30 years old and he still hangs out with us. Why are all the cameras on me? Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. I'm like six months older than you, buddy. No, you're not. Well, I'm 38. All right. Well, look at us. Matt, Matt, Matt. Matt, we have questions. We have questions. Matt, how much longer can you put up being friends with Zane? I'd give it about a two, a sock, two months. Carly, Carly, questions for Carly. Questions for Carly. No, no questions. Something said about me or Scott. I am not just coming for you. Your buddy Heath, his Lamborghini. Somebody save me. I'm so scared. Zane's new podcast. What are you going to do? You're going to talk about Jeff on the podcast? Your new podcast? Premiering Monday? We're coming right for him. We're coming right for your podcast. Here you go. Get juiced up. He's too angry. I'm on your side. We do videos together. She's on my side. She's my friend. We ship together now. She talks so much about you, Zane. We ship together now. She doesn't ship with criminals, all right? She does ship with criminals. No, she doesn't ship with criminals. Okay, guys, the limousine's here. The limousine's here. Ready? Let's go. Hey, he's got my merch on. Hell yeah. Now I better do good. How you been, man? Good, how are you, man? Thanks for coming. Joe, what do you think? I call shotgun. Huh? Is this style, guys, or what? Wow, the life of a stand-up comedian. Bye, Matt. Bye, Carly. I love you guys. Thank you. Thank you, Matt. You can't tell me what to do. Come on. Okay, we're stopping. It's Target. Jeff needs a charger. Anyone else need anything? I'm gonna get some beef jerky. Sounds good. Yeah, yeah. Beef jerky for everybody. Yeah, get a big one. Thanks, Mario. He's getting out of a limo to go to Target. Are you serious? You're f***ing Jason Nash. What up, man? What the f***? Oh, Jesus. If you talk to any of your friends and tell them what happened, make sure you tell them Dude, shut the f*** up. Yo, shut the f*** up. It just hit me that we walked out of a limo to Target. I walked out of a limo to Target, and I didn't even think twice about it. That's so gauche. Alright, let's go to Target. This was the best call to stop. Yeah. Thank God. We're sticking to Jonah's diet today. We're gonna go get some beef jerky and M&M's. Let's go. Seriously, Jonah, Target's a great place for you because you can get healthy stuff here. You can get a smoothie in a bottle. You can get all kinds of stuff. Tell him to get body soap. Dog food. Get what? Tell him to get body soap. No, Jonah always smells good. That's one thing about him. He doesn't smell. It's true. Sort of. I smell more than Jonah. It's true. I'm like, holy s**t, you're right. Do we have enough time to be doing this? No, we gotta do it fast. I know. Can you make an announcement? Jonah come to get services. Yeah, I lost my son, yeah. He's about 26, but he is lost. Are you kidding? Huh? 26 and you lost him? Yeah. Isn't that crazy? Good for you. Don't get him. You're not over 50, are you? I'm 46. Who are you? Oh, there you are. 25. I found him. Thanks. Jonah reporting guests. You embarrass me all the time. You're like an embarrassing dad. I am. God, dude. Try being my kid. Okay, we've stopped at Target and it's really fun. But we have too many wandering cats. You can't have pizza unless you get a salad. No, it's not a salad. It's baked wings with no bread and sauce. Okay, that sounds good. I'm going to see how long it takes first, though. Don't get lost in here because I don't want to be late. He's going to get lost. Just to be clear, this limo was a free offer from Mario. I'm not a guy that just gets a limo, but it just sounds really fun. So we did it. And it is fun. Stable, steady. Why are you yelling? I tried the pizza hut and I didn't get anything. Good for you, Jonah. Because they said it's going to take 15 minutes. I'm doubly impressed. This is Mario. He offered us a free limo today. What's the business called? Cop Shop LA. He's got all kinds of rentals. If you want to hire a fake cop, this is the guy. We've got real cops, too. They're off-duty or retired. They're off-duty, too. Hey, man, I really do appreciate this. No problem. We're going to have fun. I'm not doing it for the shout-out. You're the best, Mario. Go check out Mario, guys. Same seats. Pizza for Oscar. Pizza for Brandon. Jeff with some breadsticks. And look at this. Salad. Jonah. I'm going to feel great after this meal. I'm impressed. I think you're going through an identity crisis, bro. Look at all the croutons, though. How many croutons that thing has. Me and Jonah switched. It's grilled chicken. Fat-free. This is $%&. 250 calories for this whole meal. 270 calories for this meal. Good job. I just said to Cass, Cass, do you feel $%& after eating that pizza? Because pizza always makes me sweat. Like, it literally always makes me sweat so much. Dr. Oz. I was going to say it in a bad way. Does it not make anyone else sweat? I ate breadsticks. No, I don't know. Pizza always makes me sweat really bad. Jonah. I'm going to talk to Jonah. Give him a little word of advice. Go ahead. Jonah, you're going to an audience of 500 people who know and love you. You're going to do great. Is it only 500? Yeah. Oh, dude. Jeff only does analysis crap. Jeff's out. I thought it was going to be 1,200 plus. I thought we were doing Carnegie Hall. Madison Square Garden. We're going to fill it up. Jonah, are you nervous about doing stand-up? Yeah, I'm pretty nervous. Jonah's been talking about his set for the last 35 minutes. These guys are feeding him jokes. We're very excited. I hope I don't screw up, dude. If you screw up, somebody's probably going to film it and put it on the internet for everybody to see. Jonah, do the butterfly joke. Let's see if you have it down. Go. I have a butterfly. See, Cass? It's not going to be easy. Once he gets up there in front of 500 people. I know, I know. Go, go, go, go. Do it, do it. This is my first time doing stand-up. That's your first line. This is my first time doing stand-up comedy. I have a bunch of butterflies in my stomach. Not because I'm nervous, but because I was at a butterfly exhibit and I was hungry. That was great. He killed it. How was the drive, Mario? Thanks, Mario. Hope you got some rest. Yeah, it was great, man. You should be relaxing in the back, not driving. That's great, man. Thank you. Thank you, Mario. Mario, that was awesome. Everybody thank Mario. Say something nice to Jason before he goes on stage. He's really funny and he's going to do great. What was your favorite memory with him? My favorite memory with Jason was when we talked about life and The Revenant and we liked it a lot. That was my favorite. You're lying. No, I'm not. Jason, wasn't that our best memories when we talked about The Revenant? Yeah, that was pretty funny, actually. That was probably it. I don't remember the joke, though. Me neither. Who's your favorite kid of his? Your kid? I don't like either of them. He just farted on your face. You're going to get pink eye. I'm just kidding, Wyatt. Jason, where are we going? We're going to go look at the stage right now. Have you ever been to this venue before? No, this is the observatory. I haven't been here. It's a rock club, mostly. I guess we go right up here. Wow. This is sick. Jason, this is a lot of people. Yeah. These are nice seats. I already want to throw up. How are you feeling? Is this crowd too big? I actually can't catch my breath. Okay, now this is a squad. This is a squad. I'm excited for this. Are you excited? What are you going to do? I'm going to get up there and tell some jokes. What are you going to say? What did they call the duck that was walking across the road? What? On Melrose. What did they call the duck that was walking across the road on Melrose? I don't know. A hype duck. Brandon. Can you do some stand-up? Because Jonah is out. Can you open? I just heard Jonah's first joke. Hey, what are you doing? Brandon, you have to get your own food. Yours is way better because it's yours. Do you know how much pineapple is? Look how expensive it is. There are three slices. Ten dollars. There are three slices left. I want you to know that I only do it because I know I would upset you. I don't believe it. It's just funny. Why don't you eat something bad in here? Something that's rotten. Hey, what's going on? This guy needs joke writing. Tell him the joke. What did they call the duck that was walking across the road on Melrose? I don't know. What? A hype duck. He's not going on stage, is he? He's opening for me. Oh, man. I love it when you go like this. It's like a lawnmower. I have another one. What do they call a person in the morning that hasn't had their coffee yet? What? He's got no energy. What? Wait, what? Huh? You just said you're going to say something else. You're like, he's got no energy. What else are you going to say? That one I like. That one's good. Say it one more time. What do they call a person that hasn't had coffee in the morning? What? He doesn't have any energy. Talk to you later.