"My Wife Got Caught Catfishing" - Smartest Girl Pod

What's up, everybody? Jason has lost the tapes. We just lost the tapes for this tape. We had such a great podcast. You know, this reminds me of the Tenacious D song, greatest song in the world. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Yeah, that's just what this reminds me of. Guys, if you ever lost the podcast, it doesn't matter. Listen, ladies and gentlemen, here she is. The smartest, the most amazing woman in the world, the woman with all your relationship advice, the woman who can help you. Meet a man in under three hours. Here she is. We love her. She's looking crisp in her ski chalet green sweater. We're going to redo that joke, even though it didn't work for those. Hey, listen, Tom Green taught me. Push the joke as much as you can. If you keep pushing, it'll become funny at some point. Oh, that's funny. Ladies and gentlemen, here she is. The smartest girl in the world, Naveen Nash. Well, what happened was I got a call about views. We got about we got about 18 hot minutes that were just cooking on this podcast. And then when I came back in, I hit the wire. And of course, these Canon cameras, if you don't if you knock the power out, it doesn't save. That's so interesting. It's good for me to know, though. Yeah, it's great for you to know. It's good for me to know to get someone else in here to produce the podcast. No, no, it's honestly it doesn't even doing this. This podcast is so easy that I could do it all night. Yeah, we could be down here all night and I would be happy. Yeah. All right. Let's let's take our clothes off. And let's just let's just do it. Let's let's do it with each other. They asked me on the podcast the other day if we had a lot of sex. And I said, yeah, you did. Yeah. You know, I answered honestly. Yeah, that's good. It's good to be honest. I'm glad you didn't like downplay it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because that's always the worst. Is it? I think sometimes people feel embarrassed. So they're like, oh, like you could have gone that way, like feeling embarrassed and be like, no, like we don't. And then that would have looked bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you saying you did. Yeah. But would you say like, like all the time? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I really need to help some people. Yeah, let's help people today. We need to help people. We got on a good jag about murder before. We went on for like about 22 minutes about murder. Yeah, maybe it wasn't as good as I thought. But I'll never kill you. I just I just want to say that. Yeah. Yeah, I just want to say that on video. Yeah. Although I do. We all worry about it. I would like him to be properly questioned if something does happen to me. No, I don't think that he he doesn't do anything that makes me think that. But I don't I don't want something to end up happening to me. And this was all a trick for you to get me to say, like, oh, don't. I want everyone to be investigated if I if I go missing. I want everyone to know I don't do drugs. I would never off myself. It would never happen. I would never harm myself. I don't ingest anything bad. So if something happens to me, there was foul play by someone. And you guys better do your research. The Internet is the best like investigators. So I know you guys will. I would never do that. I would never. Why is it scared, then? Because I worry about it. But you should be properly questioned. No, I shouldn't. Because this here's the thing. You should just be a wall in the podcast. Like if I come home and you fall in the shower and you split your head open. Yeah. And you're dead. Like I'm I'm public enemy number one. So I'm taking a lot on by just how you should thank me just for having your liability. Do you know what I'm saying? Or what about the time when we went to Daniel and Noel's wedding? Remember, we had that moment. Yeah. At my friend's wedding, she had this like big staircase in the house we were staying at. And I don't remember if it was like late at night or in the morning when we were getting ready. But there was a moment, Jason and I were like, I was playing on the stairs and we both had the thought of like, oh, if I fell, everyone would think he like. Yeah, everyone would think I did it. And then I started like dancing on the steps. And Jason was like, please, please stop. Yeah. He got scared. Yeah. But I lived to see another day. And many women don't get to have that privilege because they marry crazy people. It's so funny, too, because it's always the husband, right? Most of the time. Yes. Yeah. And it's and I always think it's funny for cops, too. It's like they don't their jobs pretty easy. Yeah, it's like they come in. Yeah. Who's she married? And they're like, yeah, like, oh, yeah, it's done. Put them in the car, boys. Yeah. And the guy's always like on a work trip or somewhere else. Right. Come on. Yeah. So I don't know. Watch out for your husband, ladies. He could kill you. He could. You always have to be alert. It's so sad. You always have. I feel bad for for women in general, like that have to go out on dates and like, you know, you go out on it, you make a date with somebody off Tinder. Yeah. Just want to meet somebody. That's a risk. That's that part. Yeah, that's. Yeah, it's actually pretty scary to walk down the street. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You guys are. You got to stay alert. Yeah. It's like you guys are like disabled. Well, I mean, we are the more powerful sex, but mentally. Sure. We physically. Right, right. But we make you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm going on a date. I'm not think I'm going to end up in a trunk. Right, right, right. Yeah, that's what we're talking about here. Yeah, we're talking about how tough it is for women to like put themselves out. Yeah, that's that's true. I'll get I'll give us that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a tough job. What about a guy who likes to kill prostitutes? I mean, that's that's weird, too. Like if you're a prostitute, that's terrible. No, that that's a scary thing, because that's like a big thing. And that's like that's like it's also like a fetish. Like guys, they guys, they like they they hate that they do prostitution, but they also love to have sex with prostitutes. So, yeah, so then that's so there was one in Boston that he would kill them at the nicest hotel in Boston. Really? Yeah, it was like a Tinder killer like 15 years ago. And he did it all at Copley Plaza. It was like it was insane. That's crazy. Yeah, yeah. OK, so if you're a prostitute, be careful. If you're a prostitute, come on this podcast. We'd love to talk to you. I bet you do. What do you think? They'll give you a discount if they come on the podcast? Not looking for a discount. This is this thing you think that you seem to think that I have interest in any other woman. I don't. What's interesting to me, since we're talking about prostitution, is how are some people on the street? Is this true? Like there's like some streets where like like Hollywood and stuff where it's like prostitutes are on the street. How would I know? But they say it's like $25 for like a blowjob or something. Is that fake? How would I know? What do you why would you ask me that? That's crazy. Why would you be a prostitute for $25 and not like $10,000? Depends how much teeth you have. Depends on what your teeth look like. If you had no teeth, couldn't you charge more? Yeah, I don't know. I'd like to sit down all the prostitutes and talk about pricing, because I think I don't know. I think you're all selling yourselves a little short. Men are just going to hate me more. Yeah, why don't you get out there? Maybe that could be how you give back, you know. We're talking about whole prostitutes teeth. No, no. You increase their rates. Oh, yeah. You give them a business plan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess then that would make you guilty of that crime. So you can't do that. But maybe not. Of what kind? I guess I guess a prostitute's accountant, accountant is fine. Business manager. Yeah. As long as she pays taxes. That's where you get in trouble. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Prostitutes have to pay taxes. They're getting paid cash. Do you know? Yeah. What I've done for seven days. You've been doing the Magic Mind seven day challenge. I have. On day seven. Yes. I'm obsessed. I feel like it's like the perfect like zing. Uh huh. I've never done drugs, but this is how I think drugs would be. It's like makes you like focused and alert. Sure. And it's been like amazing. I call it lock me in. Magic Mind, it makes you lock the F in. I sound like I already had one. I think you did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are absolutely amazing. What kind of vitamins are in there, Nadine? We have got B2, B3, the best one, B12, C and D. Yeah. And it's matcha flavored. It's awesome. And it tastes so good. And right now, guys, if you use our code, All Good 20, you're going to get 48 percent off your subscription to Magic Mind, which is incredible. Or if you just do one order, you get 20 percent off. But I would go with the the subscription order, 48 percent off. That's almost half off. And bring Magic Mind into your life. Bottoms up. Ready to help? You know, I saw a video the other day where I really like where this guy is helping the homeless people. So I want to do that. Jason like figured out that helping people makes you feel good and makes good things like naturally happen to you. So now whenever he wakes up, he's like, hey, should we do some good deeds so we get some some more like good stuff? And I'm like, no, no, Jason, that's not that's not how it works. We helped a woman in New York who with her packages and Naveen organized it. And we just like randomly helped this woman on the street. And then right after that, something really good happened to me. And I was like, we got to keep this karma thing going. Like, this is great. That was like that whole day. Like, it's a good day. Kept happening. Well, that you know what? Someone came up to me at the wedding. OK, what did they say? And and and and I hadn't seen him in a long time. Yeah, we're at Heath and Maria's wedding. And and he said he said this thing to me. And it was like, I couldn't believe it made me so happy. What he was like. He was like, hey, man, say long time ago. He's like, I, um, I was really lost in life. And you like sat and talked to me. And and I was like, and I couldn't hear on the dance floor. Like, I'm so old now. I was like barely getting it. And I was also drunk. And I was like, oh, yeah, I was like, I did do that. And he's like, I just want to let you know, like, I'm like, I'm like a big guy in advertising now. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like and he's like, and you should call me. He's like, I can like hook you up with a job, I think. I was like, ****, yeah. Wait, that's sweet. I love it does. Listen, it helps like to to help people when they're down. That's the best time to get in because they'll never forget you. Like David Dobrik, right? I'll ******* I'll ******* like I'll do anything for this guy. He picked me up when I was down. Right. You know what I mean? And, you know, and so like I love him. I always love him. Find the people that are down. And you're looking at it more. Look at you. You I love you. Like you stuck with me through all my bad times. You know what I mean? Yeah. I ******* burned the earth for you. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. So that's all I'm saying. Go find the losers and help them. I'm telling you, if I can have a great life. Yeah. OK. Yeah. So karma is real, guys. Karma is so real. Yeah. All right. Go ahead. Let's get into the questions. Let's help some people today. I told you I want to start. I love these homeless guy videos. I love them. I know you do. OK, go, go, go, go, go. Try to facilitate one. It's just this guy can see it going badly for you. Why? Just for me in person. No, I don't know. It's just I have to follow my gut. I feel like people will think I'm just doing it for the views. Not so I'm not even worried about what the comments and stuff will be. Yeah, but I think the in-person interaction could be tricky. What are you talking about? But I'm great with everybody. You don't have a natural knack for you're great with everyone. Yes. You don't know a dangerous situation if you're in one. I would say you can't feel it. Uh, no, I can tell if I'm in a bad situation. I have I have the gift of fear, as they say. I don't think. Well, whatever. I saw these homeless videos. This guy goes and he like buys pizza for the homeless. But then like the restauranteurs will like be like he'll be like, I'll buy 20 pieces in the restaurant. She was like, I'm going to give you 40 pizzas and like made me cry. So like I want to like do something fun like that. Yeah, we should. Yeah. What do you take all the pizzas to? We should go eat them. OK, go. Um. We're cooking. We're cooking. Oh, my God. We're at 16 minutes already. Whoa. OK. Do you think I do? OK, wait, would you rather have a partner who's too clingy or too distant? That's tough. Oh, that's tough. Ah, both are kind of terrible, I think. Right. I mean, listen. Clingy, I'll take clingy. But no, no, but I think clingy not. And I would say I'm I can be clingy. But imagine someone clingy when you don't want like. Like, has anyone ever been clingy to you that you don't want to be around? Yeah. Is it me? No, that's the worst. It's it feels like you're drowning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the worst. I had a girlfriend once and you couldn't go. I couldn't go to. And this is when I was younger. I lived in New York because I couldn't go to a party and talk to anyone but her. Yeah, I needed her by my side the entire time. And now that I'm with you, I like being with you every every place. But in that part of that part of my life, I was young and I was like, I wanted to, like, meet people. And right. Yeah, it was rough. So clingy can be really bad. And then I've had distant, too. I've never really had distant. But I would say if someone's distant, I just I would lose interest. So I don't know. That's exactly what I was going to say. I guess someone's too distant. It's like I just won't like. Yes. Yes. Eventually. But then same with too clingy. So it's like neither is going to work. Yikes. OK. You're the host. I would say you move it along. I don't know. I was going to go back for a second. I would say if we go to a party, you and I are not. I love this little. I love what you're doing right now with the feet. You and I are putting the feet underneath each other. If we're at a party, I would say. No, no, no. We're not. We're not clung at all. But I just have this thing where I don't like to let you out of my sights. You always come find me. Always. Yeah, always. But I wouldn't I would say we do everything together. But I would say when we go to like a event where there's a lot of people, I would say we we do go off and then come back and go off and come back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't have fun anymore anyways, without you, so. Is it a bad idea to move in together after six months? Six months. No, it's great idea. Move in. Get to know the person week. But then move in after one week. Yeah. Anytime you have to think, is it bad? It means you think it's bad. It's a joke. Just move in with them right as soon as you can, because six months is a good time, actually, because then you could figure out again, going back to whether this guy's a murderer or not. But you can figure out, you know, if there's some survive, you're good. Yeah. No, you got to figure out if this person's like a weirdo, if you can put up with their snoring, if they're too messy. Right. If you guys can cohabitate. It's so important. And so, yeah, go for it. Move in and cut your rent in half. And don't do this thing. You're right. And yeah, don't do this thing where you keep the apartment. Go for it. No, no. Keep your listen. Listen, because you keep that apartment. Me keeping my rent controlled apartment through all of my relationships until marriage was and I remember every time I was like, no, like I'm going to I'm going to totally go for it. And then there was always something in me that was like, well, the rent controlled apartment is pretty cheap. Like, let me just let me keep it for a little every time. It's it's so good. Keep it. Keep your apartment, especially if it's rent controlled. Keep your apartment if it's rent controlled. OK, we're getting through that. The villa. How much was it a month? It was like nineteen hundred. I got up to like two thousand dollars for a two bedroom, two bathroom and a fireplace in West Hollywood. That is a steal. Two bedroom, two bathroom and pretty big. Prime location. Pretty big. Right by Dobrik's Pizza, which is a which is like if you don't if you know West Hollywood, it's like a prime, prime, prime spot. You can walk to everything. Best place. Yeah, I wish I had it. Oh, OK. I don't think you would see this as a turn off, but is it a turn off if a girl's bio says, talk to me on Snapchat? Yeah, it is 100 percent. What are you doing on there? Yeah. Talk to me on Snapchat. I don't know. Yeah, it's probably usually if I see that, that means they're doing like private Snapchat videos and they're they're not really interested in you as a person. There's you as a commodity, as money, you know, to get money from you. Have you ever sent someone a dollar for a flash or something on Snapchat? Yes. No, you haven't. No, no, no, no, no. I was trying to think of something funny. I couldn't think of a dollar. What do you think's going on out there? I don't know what's like how many people charging on Snapchat? A dollar for a flash. Snapchat to me is like low. I think people are doing it for free just to get like followers, you know? Oh, I don't really know what the what the temperature's like. What's an opening line that actually works? Hi, I'm Jason. Do you think a girl named Beth should lead with? Hi, I'm Jason. Yeah. Hi, I'm Beth. Hi, I'm Beth. I like your sweater. Something so short that puts it in the person's other person's core. OK, let's play out a conversation. OK, go ahead. Go. Hi, I'm Beth. I love your sweater. Oh, hi. Hi, I'm Jason. I love your sweater. Oh, thanks. That's sick. What are you up to tonight? Hey, I do. I would do this. This is what I do. I do like, hey, what's going on? Look at this. Oh, all right. Like your sweater. How's it going? This is over a message. Oh, I thought it was in person. No, no, no. Oh, opening line. I'm no good on a dating app. I'm no good at texting. I'm the worst. I don't even know how to like. I like I literally will send like all caps. I'm terrible with the phone. Have you ever called 16 people on FaceTime at once? Not in a group chat. I've done it several times. You seem like the type. Oh, my God. I used to call the group chat all the time, but dial them and it would be 16 faces all like and they all know they're all like, Jason, like what? God damn it. Are you kidding me? Sorry. Sorry. I didn't mean to call everybody. But so you you always. Well, whatever. How can you give me this magic box and expect me like one day? This just comes into my life and I have to know how to use it. I didn't grow up with it. I used a rotary phone. I literally sit there and turn the nine. If there was a nine, we go age yourself. No, you didn't. Of course we had a rotary phone. You just hit the number nine. No, we had a rotary phone. No. Why don't you believe what I tell you? Show me. OK, hold on, let's get in this time machine. And now I take you back to my childhood home in Needham, Massachusetts. That would be the most fun thing ever. I think it'd be pretty scary. You probably hit on my dad. No. Here we go. Sexy beast that Bob. Have you ever been catnished? Uh, yeah, I guess. Like I've had like I've had matches, then it's like, oh, this isn't real. But I didn't like go in person. So you never went in person like that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've like matched with people and then like they've read it. And I'm like, oh, great, blah, blah, blah. And then I had a second look at the pictures and I was like, wait, this is real. Ah, like you realized it wasn't. Yeah, because she was there. She had a picture with MLK. And I was like, Martin Luther King. Yeah, it's a junior. There's no way you're 28. You're you're, you know, sitting there in some kind of. Civil rights march from 1965. Yeah. So, yeah, no, I have you a big catfish. I have, but I also during I catfish someone once you did. Yeah. Oh, what happened? I was I used AOL. Did you ever have that? Yes. Like the first Internet. And I had like you would go into chat rooms and I had a chat room boyfriend. Yeah. But I would send he would always ask me to email him photos. But obviously I was a child. Oh, no, I was a literal. I think I was like 11. Oh, no. And I was pretending I was like 20. OK, so I would send pictures of I would look up Avril Lavigne candid. And so it would be candid photos of her, not like photo shoot photos. And I would send those. Right. And he like loved me, but he didn't know it was Avril Lavigne. No, I guess maybe he did like looking back at it. Right. Like and he just maybe it was also she like they like the photos of her on stage with the microphone. It's all candid. So it's like it's all like you can look up like a person candid, never before seen photos. And there's like all these like digital camera photos that no one had seen. Like they were very like different kind of photos. You were good. Yeah. Yeah. You're quite the catfisher. It was like also a kid pretending to be older. But we had like a serious relationship and then they wanted to meet. And so I had my sister go on her account and message the person and be like, hey, you have to stop messaging like my account name. Yeah, she actually passed away. And for a month, he would write like big things about how much he loved me. It was so funny. And I just had to pretend I was dead. And I made a new screen like posting. And then his friends are like, hey, Ron, that's that's Avril Lavigne that you're in love with. And she is alive. Imagine one day. He's like, I really like had a big love. Yeah. And or imagine one day he like turns on the TV and sees Avril Lavigne. She's alive. He tries to reach out to her. No, but my name at the time, I would use the name Autumn. OK, that's good. That was my my catfish name. Good name. Yeah. We had a hot and heavy relationship, him and I. Damn, you've lived so many lives. Thank you. Tell everybody how you moved here when you were like 18 and like 17. I turned 18 here. You moved here when you were 17 and you found a job. And you did all these things. It's so impressive. You moved here with no money. I had no money. Yeah. But I knew money would come. Really? Yeah. But also I was supposed to get a check when I turned 18. So like I knew that. Oh, so money was actually coming. I knew money was going to come. Oh, so who gave you a check when you were 18, your family? When I was little, I was in an accident. Oh, and so you could get the money in the moment or they give you the money. It was like some weird settlement where it's like you could either get it now, like when I was a kid, or if you wait until I'm 18, it like. Gets bigger. Oh. I don't know. But so me, my sister and my brother all got a check when we turned 18. Oh, so you're flying high for a few months. Yeah. Yeah. I could say that. Well, OK, go ahead. Next question. Wasn't there a question about? How many pictures is too many? Did we not do that? Yeah, we lost it. Oh, are you sure? I think so. How many pictures is is there such thing as too many pictures on a dating profile? Too many. Is it a turn off to have too many pictures on a dating profile? Sorry, guys, I'm so confused on what we did and what we didn't do because Jason has lost a full episode. I got called. I think I could talk all night. I'm not going to lie. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'm so annoyed. That's crazy. Literally go. Thanks so much for coming on the show, watching the show, guys. I think I could do a 24 hour podcast. We will put let me turn on the live stream. I think I could do a 24 hour podcast. Because I'll tell you Celsius. I'll tell you what. Oh, is that what it is? I can't believe Celsius doesn't sponsor this podcast because this podcast is run on Celsius. Can I tell you something? It's not it's not this podcast, guys. It's what's going to be coming for the next like five or six hours. Can I tell you something? Because she likes to talk. Can we go back one? Yeah, I didn't get to finish. Go ahead. OK, so I told you that I catfished someone, right? Yeah. As Avril Lavigne. Yeah. Don't forget to look at the camera, too. I was also catfished. You were? Yes. By who? In high school, I was catfished. OK. Badly. OK. By a man who I had a full relationship with. Really? Yes. So what happened? He was I put him on my MySpace profile. We talked on the phone every day. I talked to this person every day on the phone. Really? Yeah. And then he said that he was. How old were you? It was right before Chris, so maybe 15. You're 15 and you're dating a man who's how old? He was he was a teenager. OK, he was a teenager. Maybe 16, 17. OK, go. He 16, 17, because he could drive. OK, I think. He started talking to same profile of this guy who lived in Dallas, but was talking to me in Houston. OK, so I never met him. He also started talking to a girl in the same high school as me. Yeah. OK. And so then her and I got in this big fight because we're both talking to this guy. OK. And I was like, what's going on? And so then he breaks up with her, is exclusively talking to me. And then he's like, I'm going to finally drive and come see you. And I'm excited. Sure. OK, I'm so excited. I'm like, oh, my God, I'm going to meet him like I love him. He's driving. He tells me he got into an accident and he's in the hospital and I make my sister steal my parents car. Oh, well, to drive me to the hospital. No. Yes. No. No record of him. No. No. Never talk to me again. Profiles deleted. Like never heard from him. Never had closure from that. Was that not crazy? And he had a full MySpace profile as a teenage boy. MySpace profile. He talked to me on the phone every single day and night. Did he have a man's voice or a kid's voice? Like it didn't sound like a like an old man. Right. It sounded like a guy. Huh. And talk to me every day. You know what? You got to taste your own medicine. I think it was payback. Yeah, that's karma. That's what we're talking about on today's podcast. That's a theme. That's karma, baby. You catfish that poor guy. I really loved me. You did. What do you like about him? He made Houston fun. Like I never saw him. I know. I know. But like, I remember like I hated even never having been to L.A. or somewhere else besides like Lebanon and like Mexico as a kid. You know, my dad took us on summer vacations all the time. Don't get off track. I knew that I did not want to live in Houston. I thought Houston was so boring and so lame. Right. And he made like the time go by. Like, I was like so excited. OK. It was like I had such a crush and I was like, oh, like maybe like we're going to fall in love and I'm going to go to Dallas. Did you did you call him out on it? Like, did you say, hey, ************, you weren't at the hospital? I went off. And what did you say? And what did he say? I went off. He deleted everything. Really? What about his phone number? And I never heard from this guy again. And I grilled that girl. And she told me. Yeah. That she had never met him either. Yeah. And that he told her he got into an accident on his way to see her. And then when you call the phone number, what happened? He just never answered me. He just never answered. Never answered. Wow. Oh, that's good. I always like I wish that's one thing I wish I could just know who it was. Yeah. Like, was it someone in my school? Because why did he talk to someone else in my school? Like, was it someone ******* with me? Oh, no, no, no, no. Maybe it was someone in your school, but it sounded like it was a teenage boy. Right. Yeah. Yeah. But like, I don't know. Who is he? Why would someone do that? Maybe he had a girlfriend. You know what I mean? He just liked the attention. Probably why. All right, guys, listen, thank you so much for joining us today. It's been another smartest girl in the world podcast with Naveen Nash. We hope you hope you got a third episode. Now we're good. We're good. Love you guys. Love you guys. Thank you so much for watching. Thanks for watching everything on the channel. All you guys support the channel. We love you guys so much. Please leave your comments. I love you. And I say, no, you personally, if you made it to this podcast and you made it to the end of this podcast, right? Booty hole in the right booty hole in the comments. Thank you so much. I was just going to say that. You read my mind, right? Booty hole in the comments. And and we love you guys. OK.