"My Kid Drank The Expensive Wine"

Okay, we're back Are we back or just starting we're back we're back and starting new setup we're back in it's 2026 Oh, man, did you ever think that you'd be sitting here? I thought i'd be dead. You really thought you'd be dead by now. Yep. I did it. I would think you'd live forever Nope, I had a total premonition as a young person that I would be dead. Where were you? I was at home. Probably. I don't know. What did it say? It said to me Did it come in a dream? No, just like my thought process was like nothing's gonna be good after 50 like that's probably when you're gonna go Really? Yeah, but you're starting off positive But your family is Now i'm glad that this is not true, but yeah At the time I was just like it seems like you're gonna die. I just thought it would be good. I I had this thought that Nothing good would happen after 50. Nothing Absolutely. Well It's kind of true It is really kind of true But that's where we live. Well, you know, there's a lot of good things coming There's uh, you have your kids you have your possible grandkids someday. Yep. You have your work I mean max is home for 18 days and the amount of uh, uh times he went out to Quote unquote see on a girl. He might I might have a grandkid coming now Really he just was out there. Well, the bum garner's always had a way with the ladies, you know our kids Linked up on new year's I heard. Yeah, you did. Yeah why I told me Yeah, why it was like, oh come back to my mom's house Nice and like true to form of where they're at is like he was like, yeah, I was totally gonna go I I called him at like 145. He's like, uh Everybody i'm gonna go to bed good good good for him good for wyatt. Yeah. Yeah for max Oh why it was gonna go to bed? Yeah. Oh Yeah, why I told me the funniest story. He said he was at a party He was having the best time and then some his friends were like, let's go to this other party for new year's It's gonna be raging and then they He went to the other party and it was too crowded and it wasn't as good as the first party And he was like I learned a valuable lesson regret. Yeah parties You know the chasing a party the worst the worst. Yeah bad idea Yep, I mean, you know, it's just one of those things that like, uh I feel like that's something You would do to me when we were 20 100 Yeah, I know now I now i'm better now. I know I know I know not to try really Yeah, because you would chase you would chase in new york when we lived in new york. Oh my god, you would chase Uh, we've tried to go to other things. Yeah that you would drag me or I wouldn't go. Oh, really? Yeah Yeah, um, I probably was trying to like You know meet comedians and stuff. Oh, yeah and be uh, like totally in the game and try to figure out What was next and what was next? Yeah, that's really funny. We went to a private club on sunset And it's for new year's no not for new year's but kind of like right around new year's and it was uh, It's ten thousand dollars a month To be in the private club. Yeah Yeah, not like a buy-in and it's something a month not like a soho or something maybe there's a buy-in too Yeah, but it is ten thousand dollars and it's not like It's not like a golf club. It's there's no pool. It's it's just you get to be there You get to have dinner there and you get to have drinks there. There's two floors There's a dining room when you walk in. Uh-huh, and then there's a rooftop With a photo booth and oh, that's a ten thousand dollar photo booth. Yeah Yeah ten but this is every month like you belong to the club or is this just Every month you've got to pay ten thousand dollars plus whatever you eat there. Yeah. Oh you pay for that as well. Yeah Yeah, isn't that a lot? For me. Yeah, that's a lot. That's a lot. Do you know I have no concept of money anymore Well, you have some concept I think i'd have none. I have no just like okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah Yeah I went I went to the store to try to buy naveen a gift. Yeah And I was shocked really I was shocked at what things cost. I had no idea. Yeah, they laughed me out of the store They did. Yeah I had the same situation. Yeah, I was this is the cheapest story of all time. Oh, I love it go christmas and uh went to the store which we had bought things there before and maureen hates the store Okay, and I was like and I had they won't give you your money back Okay, so I had buy it you keep I had money On a card for the store. Yeah, I was like i'm gonna go there and i'm gonna find something And I looked online I found a necklace and it was like a little more than the card and I was like, oh, but that's beautiful She'll get her necklace. Yeah She's like, oh my god, you got me a necklace. It's so great and I even sent the The thing to my daughter june and she's like great that looks great get it get it and I go to the store and I go in and I look in the case. Yeah, and there's like it's just a hip silver lake store, right? It's not a jewelry store sure And I I was like, oh I was gonna I was looking at this necklace and she's like, oh, yeah It's right over there in the case. It's right there and I look at it. It's ugly. It's not I'm, like, oh no. Yeah, and then And there's another necklace, yeah And I was like, oh so the necklace when you saw it online look good, but up and close it wasn't yeah And june even said yeah, that looks great. Mama. Love that. Get that. Yeah, I was like ******* sweet This is the like this is the thing that she's gonna because she buys her own gifts for christmas. Yeah and wraps them And says from jeff on them So you're the one that's surprised when she opens it? Yeah, i'm like, oh, did you like it? Does it fit? I say stuff like that. Yeah So I I'm like, oh I see another necklace and i'm like, oh my god, that's beautiful. Yeah, totally upper alley. Yeah It's got like what looks like a ruby on it. And um And i'm like, oh that's really nice. I like that. She's like that's a great choice. Yeah, and I was like awesome And she's like, let me look it up and I was like look it up look it up And she's like, oh, yeah, that's um, blah blah blah this designer 14 carat it's a root. It is a ruby and I was like, oh great. It's a ruby. She's like $3,900 $3,900 I did the same thing with naveen. Yeah, and you know what I did. I literally went like this. Oh You audibly gas like an old lady audibly gas like an old lady and she laughed at me she's probably all of 22 Sure, what'd she do? She went Like you can't You like she knew and I knew but she wasn't was it gold? It was gold because that was what they told me at the store They're like the price of gold has doubled since last year. Oh, yeah, it's more than double more than it's crazy but that doesn't even matter it's like Come on 3,900 so who's doing it? I know who's buying a $3,900 necklace. I can't This is not happening. And if I did buy it, she'd be like you did what spent what? She's like, yeah, you think I'm in control of the finances you're crazy. Yeah, you spent 3,900 you have it like you're dying next year Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, and we were with the bill or like I'm like, oh I forgot to tell you that I am like In the paramount deal. I am the president of the ******* yes. It's netflix is buying. Yeah paramount for me Yeah, yeah, and i'm i'm heading it up. Yeah, it's between me and zaslov Right, and so I was like, okay, okay 3,900 It was so you know, it's unreal. It got weirder at the store because I did find the sweater that is beautiful. Sure and Tough to buy women's clothes totally and I won by the way, I ******* won I mean Two sweaters with my name on it. Yeah, and I was like, oh and I was like shitting a brick because I bought a sweater Yeah, and then it's the wind sweater. I know the whole time I was like, oh ---- You're challenged on christmas day, oh my god, yeah at her mom's house. Yeah But I go to the um, I go I go and I get the sweater I'm like, oh, do you buy gifts and wrap them for yourself? No, absolutely not No, she just finds stuff and she knows i'm terrible and you went to her mom's house to open these gifts Yeah, so you maureen buys gifts wraps them puts them in the car. Some are hers. Some are from you Yeah, and they all go up to the moms. Yeah, and then it's like a little gift roulette. Yeah Wow so much that's really interesting. Okay, but your sweater ended up being better I won the sweater contest. Wow. Yeah, and I was really proud of it like really proud like Like too proud. I think it was like yeah, we know when you cook we know what happens. I know And she there was one point where she was like, okay. All right. Yeah, you won the sweater thing It's and uh, but the the dumbest thing at that store was I had like I don't know 20 30 dollars left on the card or whatever that I had and um, i'm like, oh she's accused There's a couple things around here And um, yeah, so I go over and i'm looking at like a soap that's like 28. It's like this big Yeah, and it's a soap and i'm like, oh it smells good. Then she's like, oh we also have these um, wonderful chocolates Like these 40 chocolate. It's like a bar of chocolate It's like 40 and she's like people are really into these chocolates and i'm like have you had them? Are they good? And she's like no. No, I haven't had them but they're People really like them. Yeah, and she's like especially this one And so i'm looking at this bar of chocolate and has art on it like a photo And it looks like it kind of looks like a high-end restoration hardware picture It's like a window and a banquette And i'm like looking at it and then I look and i'm like in the middle of the banquette in the middle of the photo It's a it's a toilet seat It's a toilet seat. Yeah On the banquette and it's open. So there's a the seat and the back is open. Yeah, and so Like i'm like beside myself. It's a ******* bar of dark chocolate And there's a open toilet seat as the photo and so I go oh that's interesting and she's like what and I was like That's a toilet seat and she's like Oh, I never noticed that People love it though. Yeah, she's like people love this chocolate and I was like, don't you think that's a little weird? And she's like what and i'm like It's dark chocolate And there's a toilet seat She's like, oh, I guess that is that is a little weird You're the only two people in the store. Yep. Yeah, and or like three other her walking around I want it to be like everybody gather around. This is the weirdest thing that's ever happened. Yeah, and She's like, oh, yeah, I guess that's weird and i'm like, yeah, that's weird and she's like So do you want the chocolate or do you want the soap and i'm like i'm gonna get the soap And she's like, okay and I was like also a name of the person who ------- put a toilet seat on a bar of chocolate if you don't mind Yeah, and she's like And I really wanted to like you wanted to try it I In my larry david world. I wanted to contact that person to get yeah. Yeah, what's going on? Why would you put a toilet seat on the chocolate Isn't that unappetizing doesn't dark chocolate think of make you think of poop? Yeah, it does now. Yeah Um, and so you got the sweater there though. You ended up getting the sweater. I did and it was a win Did you have any wins? No, but we were we were at a store Yesterday we were in malibu And we went to james purse ever heard of this. Yep. Men's clothing. Oh my god. Is it also women's clothing? It's women's clothing. It's men's clothing and now they do home And we went around the store and we were just like we couldn't believe how nice everything was we were just like And we couldn't we didn't understand how people could afford it. And then we we walked up and I saw I saw these jeans and I was like Oh my god, they make jeans like they don't usually make jeans. Uh-huh. And I was like these jeans. Oh my god like they look so good and I was like Oh my god these jeans and then new means like I think they're levi's and they were they were just levi's It was so funny and and and then um And then she found a candle that was like 700. Oh, they had a they had a fruit bowl that was levitating It was like a levitate. It was so cool. They had a pool table. That was like part pool table part table For like a beach house. Yeah. Oh my god. Oh, yeah all the stuff you want but can never have Yeah, do you see did you see marty supreme? I did you saw it? Yes. Um sunday. Yeah, what'd you think? I liked it Oh, yeah, I loved it. You did loved it. That's the best movie i've seen in a long time We we had quite a discussion about it. You did. Yeah. Oh, let me hear maureen was just like I don't know I don't know. She didn't like it I don't know She never articulated why she didn't like it, right? But she was like, well, I know why she didn't like it because he maybe because he wasn't like a totally likable character Right, exactly. Oh, that's the the that's what a lot of people can't get over that and I was like no He had a singular focus. Yeah, it's like adhd or something. Like he could not stop. Yeah, he had to have uh, Validation all the time. Yeah, everything fell from validation. Can I tell you one more quick christmas? Uh, embarrassing story? Yeah, tell me Maureen buys the best gifts but she gets them all from shop, goodwill or ebay So it'll be a really nice shirt and i'm like and she's on pins and needles if it fits because there's no Recourse, it's not right. It's not like oh take it back into a different color. He's really into thrifting. Yeah Yeah, so you're like every every gift is a gamble. Yeah kids, too Like kids were so excited. She won all over the place got max chelsea boots from gucci We're like You know supposed to be like seven hundred dollars and she's like and she'll say it at the gift. She's like I only paid 150 I only paid 150 they fit too right? They fit you love them. You love them like it's a whole It's a whole so all my gifts were great and then I just open one gift it was a sweater and uh I guess sweater was the theme this year, but it was a sweater and it was like mint green Which is a color I probably wouldn't wear very much and she said I like that color on you I like that color on you and I was like It's great. I mean it's gonna be a stretch for me like to pull it off at work It's a little tight So I open it the color Well the color I was thinking was gonna be like a little bit green. I'm trying to imagine It's just like a mint like a light light green like a light light light mint green and I was like That's gonna there's gonna be Oh that sweater looks good on you I like the color like it's not something you just go to work and no one's gonna Oh, you think it's gonna draw attention at work, but then I open it up and i'm like my is a little small It is a little small and um She's like no, no, no, you're you're in good shape. It's gonna be great. It's gonna be great I'm like, ah, this is this looks small. This looks small. Yeah, so Kind of leaving it alone And then as we wind down, you know the you know when the kids go try ---- on everybody's trying stuff on she's like I We're at her mom's house and I see her down the hallway and she's come here. Come here. Come here Like what you're going the best sweater on? That's what I'm like. All right. I'll try the sweater so But I can't barely get it on Yeah, I can barely get it on and i'm like when I when she's I said it was small and then i'm trying to get on I'm like, is this something she it's like it's a medium. You're a medium. It's a medium and i'm like Is this a man's Sweater and then I get Oh, no, I ******* get it on. I mean I get it on and it is Unbelievably small. Yeah, and because it's for a woman. Yeah, it is and so she she tries for like two seconds And she's like no. No, you look really you're fit. You look good And then max comes around the corner and he walks in and he goes what the **** you look like the rock That's funny and she's like, yeah, I guess it's a little small and then she's like, oh, yeah, it's a woman's sweater She bought me a woman's what are you gonna do with it? She's got it. She's gonna wear it. She put it on and I was like, it looks great on you It's got like 19 sweaters. What else did you get? That's it. That's it. Yeah. Yeah, I don't get a lot. You don't know. No, I mean she gets the kids buy stuff Nope, yeah, they don't buy me stuff either. No, that's over. I think is it? well, I think they there was a couple years where they come they come for maximums home for college or they They get they get to like the 23rd and then they're like, hey baba. We have to go out We have to go out right now. Uh, can you put some money in our account? We have to go out right now and i'm like you don't have to rush around. Yeah Yeah, you'd rather them not even don't do it. Like you didn't think about it till the 23rd Oh, which is really what it is If they asked you on the 14th, would you fit would you put money in there they put some goddamn thought into it I see what it is It's like it's like we gotta get him something. I don't know what let's go to the store It's overpriced and buy him something. It's over like So but they they have got me good gifts before but what'd you do on new year's? Oh, what'd you do you first? we went to We went to a great restaurant. Yeah, it was an 8 15 reservation. It was a restaurant That I had seen on tiktok That was like really Hyped up. Yeah, it was called river In venice. Oh, wow. It was you went to venice on new year's eve I don't know what I was thinking. I was trying to for people who don't live here. That is that is it was boring Yeah, I know. Yeah, it was and you know what? Naveen tried to talk us out of it, too She's like it's raining. We don't have to go and I Oh god, I just fell into that trap of gotta have fun on new year's. Yeah, I still can't shake it you I've always i'm literally an idiot. I'm like I I could just because you know why i've had new year's like When I was uh single all by myself And I I I felt horrible. Yeah. Well, I would assume. Yeah, that might be hard so I guess and so a part of me was like I've got to make something happen something and then you get down there and they're they're nice, you know but it's just dinner and then we went home and and you know that was It was um Yeah, I don't know It's I guess I wanted to I wanted to like Be at a party or something. Yeah. Yeah, like, you know having fun, but it just wasn't on the cards Dude, what did you do? It's also hard to go out because it's like It costs like so much money just to go out. It costs a lot of money and then cheapest podcast ever It's like a new version of the cheap seats, yeah, yeah these seats. Yeah. So what did you do? well We had three parties What? We had you got invited to three parties did jay. Oh my god. Thank you. We did you got invited to three parties We did now take it easy. These are old people parties. So what? That's that's even more fun. So the first party. Yeah, we're gonna go to Yeah, you know where this is going We were all set to go this is before new years So the first party we're gonna go to but they wrote and they were like we're having a murder mystery party. Oh and Will you guys come wow, how many people Don't know. Okay, but because I didn't make it That's right. Okay go but maureen already had two Definitely one other party. She really wanted to go to okay and another one that came up Yeah, we like reconnected with someone at another like a pre-christmas party and they're like i'm having a new year's party You guys gotta come and we're like we'd love to go. We would love to go So we had these two other parties that we were like and she was really excited about the The the first party that we were supposed to go to it was the party and I wasn't that excited about that party Yeah, sure So we got these other parties then we get the murder mystery party and i'm like The most amazing thing is the text chain where they're like, are you in and she's like well, we really love to But we have we have a later party. So do you know what time it's gonna end and they're like murder mystery? It ends when it ends are you in and she's like and i'm like I know these people and i'm like You just gotta tell them we're out if you want to go to the second party. Yeah, you gotta tell them we're out yeah, and she's like Her text back are always like we would just love to go but we just have another party So we're just wondering and she's like, I don't know. I just need to know and she's like Oh, she just keeps hedging and i'm like, uh, i'm like you guys are the annoying people Yeah, you're like you gotta say yes Yes, or no. Yeah, and she's like she never said no. I I jumped in on the text like we're out. Yeah Good for you. You can do it. Yeah So we got that's a great thing about being 50 to bring it back to how we started. Yeah, we're out. We're out If i'm no explanation, I don't know when colonel muster gets killed and I yeah I apparently have to do a dupe doobie dupe duet. Yeah, like this is what it is Yeah, I find myself being that person a lot in my life now Can't go can't go can go and then naveen will be like that was kind of brusque And then be like, well, we can't And that's when you get older, right when you get older. Yeah, like you're it's pragmatism by the way, naveen is Naveen is wallpapering over here right now Um, she's just great at fixing stuff. Jeff. I don't know what to say. This is the greatest gift you've ever had I mean unreal she did that wallpaper over there You can't ask for anything more than that I do What's the nicest thing maureen does for you So much, I don't even know just one thing one thing She will be like I well We may have talked about this before she'll she'll be like I did your workout clothes. I watched your workout clothes Okay And then my nice my thing is though is i'm like but I have to fold them and folding is like 90 of it It's so easy to fold workout clothes Or any clothes, but if think about close to the easiest close to fold sure, but the process That's what I do, oh my god No folding. I mean I I I after you do the laundry naveen. Sometimes i'll see it on the bed You haven't folded yet and i'll go in and fold it Oh those fighting words. There we go. Don't knock the light I do no, no Jason literally Okay, come in a little more So one time I got like a little busy because i'm usually doing 40 things around the house So I put the laundry on the bed and I was like i'm gonna do this I was like i'm gonna do this later because I was doing I edit jason's videos. I cook dinner. Oh my god You know i'm running around all all over the house And jason goes babe I saw the laundry On the bed, so I went ahead and I put my stuff away what Just put mine away He sorted through And just pulled out his own stuff that I thought that was the wildest thing. I don't know where your stuff goes Oh, that's I mean I kind of But then he took all of his stuff and then put it on the floor of his closet Yeah Not the floor. I just stuff it in the Yeah, that's just not the way though you when you wash them and then fold them and put them away It makes you feel good. Like it starts. Well, let's go back to you. You refuse to fold yours No, no, I fold them. Oh, but you're saying it's a lot for you. My contention is Folding is 90 of the job No washing and drying. You've got to you've got to wash it you put listen you put it in the washer Yeah, you throw it in you throw it in then you do soap now now You're like you're locked in for an hour you gotta you gotta come back in an hour that like mentally you're like, oh man I gotta put that stuff in the dryer physical labor though It's like throw it in the washer throw it in the dryer, but folding is like it's a two it's a two-hour Process washing the clothes. I think I think folding is like 90 of them there's another thing that happens in my house, which is Maureen's a little bit like she takes something off. It's inside out Okay, yeah and then I take something off Inside out and I turn it right side in and I put it in the thing because I know it's got to go in go out And then you fold it So when I when I fold and it's her stuff Yeah, I went through like a year of Being mad and being like, oh, well, this is inside out now It's clean, but it's inside out and I gotta turn it right side in and then fold it And then I was like, I was like, you know what i'll show her i'm not turning it right side in I'm just gonna fold it inside out and put her stuff Stacked on her side of the bed and she can put it away and she'll be like you inside out and I fold her Her stuff is inside out because that's where she leaves it. And so I was like i'm gonna wait for her to that's wild That's a wild thing to do. I know that is really wild. Everybody has their clothes inside out. No Babe when I do my clothes they're inside out, right? No, i'm saying i'm sure they are When after my clothes are dirty and you wash them they're all inside out Oh, yeah. Yeah 100 but then when do you turn it right side in? I turn my ---- in right side in before it goes into the wash. So like if I work out That's crazy Said that's crazy. Oh my god. Wow. I turn it right side in she keeps it inside out So I just put my foot down i'm like but then i'm folding your clothes inside out And then and you know what? She's never that's dastardly. She's never said anything I thought it would I so thought it would be like she's like hey all my clothes are inside out and then i'm like well You should turn them right side in before you wash them and they wouldn't be like that You've been waiting for that moment and it never came. It never came never said anything. She doesn't care Yeah, maybe she just she'll just turn it right side in when she goes to put it on Or maybe she'll just wear it inside out and then it comes back writes it in. All right, she wears it And it's just a cycle Anyway, the end of the ******* new year story is we never went anywhere We never went first party canceled because it was raining and it was going to be mostly outside And they didn't want we said no to murder mystery. They didn't want mud in their house. That's right, right and then Uh about the third party the third party karaoke party the karaoke party was a bit of a contention because maureen started to be Like it's raining and the other thing was is this whole break? My house has been the pre-game party for the kids like both their friends their friends So i've had oh damn that's so 10 to 15 kids in my house pre-gaming Before parties and post gaming so many kids sleeping on my couch really morning Oh, I woke up all through the break with kids like snoring on my couches. Really? Yeah And she's cool. Is it cool if darren crushes here? Oh, yeah every they don't even ask. Oh, they're just there They're just there. Yeah, and they'll like drink the expensive bottle of wine in the fridge Really? Oh, yeah, they totally really. Oh, I couldn't what do you say about do you ever say? Oh, I had a thing don't touch the boy came home at like 1 30. Yeah With his friend and a couple girls. Okay, and I woke up in the morning and we had Two white bottles of white wine in the fridge one was like a $13 bottle of pinot noir and one was like a $50 bottle of sancerre like a nice white Maureen's favorite wine And I woke up in the morning and he doesn't even put it away empty bottle of sancerre on the counter Damn drinking it like it's hydration water. I can't believe I had this conversation with him. I was like max I gotta talk to you. He's like breeze He the girl was still over. Yeah He's like breathe sleep and i'm like, yeah just come over here and i'm like He's like she had a rough. What's the problem? And i'm like, this is the problem right here. He's like i'm sorry well, the girls wanted some wine and I was like Yeah, I know but I was like Why this one? He's like, oh, I don't know Right and I was like, okay, let's look I got the two bottles together Yeah, I was like see this one. It doesn't look it says pinot grigio That's a screw cap on the top You take it as an opportunity to teach him about teach him about wine I was like this one is 13 This one doesn't look great. It's french. Yeah, it says sancerre Script. Yeah, he's like, yeah, and I was like That one's 50 and he's like, oh And I was like, i'm sorry papa and I was like He's like the girls loved it Right and I was like I literally said that's mama's wine Mama loves that wine and he's like, okay, I won't do that again He said that's mama's wine. I said that's my I said that's mama's wine I did I said that's mama's wine Yeah, that's mama's wine. You want some of mama's wine? That's mama's wine. I know that sounds awful now He totally was like, okay, it sounds like it's from Like the 19th century. Yeah. Yeah, like you live on a farm Who drank mama's wine? Yeah. Yeah, that's the christmas wine. Yeah Wow, so we did it because you're so lucky you have all kinds of Yeah, those those stories are so fun to have like kids over and stuff They were there until like oh my god, but we're like we have a tiny house. So we're like this is our new years They're all out there Why didn't you go to the karaoke party? Because she she and I were both saying like it's ******* pouring out It's raining. They have three parties to go to we're a little worried You're a little worried about the kids too about the kids and I but I didn't want to karaoke So I was like you got out of blossom dairy. I was like, I was like, yeah, we should probably stay home We're binging madmen. So great. I'll get sushi. So we're like sitting in our bedroom with a blanket on the bed With sushi everywhere sitting up in bed or sitting up in bed eating sushi sitting cross-legged Or are you like up against the back of the bed up against the back cross-legged eating sushi watching madmen? And then the whole time she's got tv in the room or laptop just laptop. Yeah, we have laptops too No tv in the room, right? Do you want to know why I thought about getting one, but we we really like the laptop I don't love the laptop, but I was you don't because you can just the other thing is we we just close it We like to talk during yeah, so Yeah, i'll pause. Yeah. Yeah we don't have a It's a quicker pause. This is the stupidest story, but okay, we don't have a tv in the bedroom that dates back to literally 1999 Because maureen had a roll no tv in the bedroom So we used to have you remember our apartment in new york the one bedroom we had on 47th street And it was a nice apartment sure and we had a tv and it was on a roller Right because the cable line came in from the bedroom. Oh, yeah, but we want to if we want to watch in the living room We'd roll it out to the living room and we'd roll it into the bedroom and that's what we would do And we were together for like a year and we watched tv every night and this is This is where this is how maureen interacts. This is the height of like sex in the city So we're watching conan Yeah, we're watching tv in the bedroom for like a year I'm, like and this is like I moved in right away. I'm like, this is the greatest thing ever I'm, like I was sleeping on people's couches now. Yeah one bedroom. Yeah, you had a great spot great spot We got a nice tv now. We're rolling it out and rolling it in and watching conan. This is like You know, where did I go? Right? Where did I go? Right? You know what I mean? And uh, we're watching conan and kim cattrall from sex in the city. He was like the slutty. Yeah. Yeah People might not know. Oh, yeah. Yeah Anyway, she's on conan. Sure She wrote a book about love. Yeah and relationships. Yeah based on her Role of being on conan. Yeah, they're being on sex in the city. Yeah, that's her creative like she's a big enough star She got a book deal She got a book deal and she wrote a thing about love and relationships based on being samantha or whoever she was on sex samantha, yeah and um So we're watching And this is the like this is where the dream ends Okay, so conan says with the dream in what's your number one rule about intimacy with your partner? Oh, no, and she's like number one rule is get the tv out of the bedroom And maureen's like As soon as this is over because she still wants to watch the end She ******* rolled that tv out and we've never had a tv in the bedroom. You're kidding Nope, but now you have a laptop now. We have a laptop. Yeah, and I don't bring it up Remember they used to say when you're little don't get too close to the tv. Yeah, and now we have Laptops in front of your face. Yeah, it's crazy phones in front of your face right till you go to bed So all night on new year's she was like, this is great. And i'm like, yeah, this is great. She's like Ah, I feel so bad about karaoke though. I feel so bad. We would have been so good She had been like sending me songs you can do this it's the I know I know it is the last thing you'd want to do Get up there in karaoke, right? Or is there a little piece of you that's like no i'll do it no, no, there's like a part of me that's like And like, uh, i'll do it and i'll do it good and i'll be like **** you Everybody i'm good at karaoke. Okay, and then the next time it's like i'm not doing it. No. Yeah I like I have like we were on a cruise ship once. Yeah, it was me naveen Our friend todd The three of us we got a free cruise. So we're like, okay, let's go and we had a good time And then we were just like walking the cruise one night and I was like, I want to karaoke I want to karaoke and I made like a big stink. Uh-huh, and they were like, okay, let's do it And and so I was like, well, you guys gonna do it too and they're like, no, no, no, we don't want to do it We'll watch you do it And I got up there and I started doing new york state of mind. Yeah It I I got so inhibited I got so Really yeah, and then I just dropped the mic and I left no. Yeah. Oh my god. It was awful That is a shocker. I one of the notes came out wrong It was it was right in the beginning too one note, right nippy one note came out wrong and I was like i'm done And I dropped it. No way Yeah, I got so upset and you just left yeah, that is so I would I I can't see that for you Yeah, it was it was really tough I gotta redeem myself, but I think about karaoke all the time We were doing karaoke at maureen's mom's at christmas night. Oh fun. Yeah with uh family I was trying to I I have a little list of things like well, I think I could do that song I think I do that sure and I want to do you know keep a list a little one Yeah, you got a little karaoke list on your phone in your notes. Yeah, you dog. I do. No, you don't I do Let me see it get it out You dog I don't even have a list it's not a good list, but I will show you no It's a list is a list a list is a list. Hold on. That's my back surgery. Damn uh Oh, yeah Okay, jeff's karaoke list there's no way the first one i'm done And a lot of people won't even get it but I get it Brother that's ******* insane There's no way that's your first song Girl, you know, it's true. Yeah by milly vanilli. That's right girl. You know, it's true I love you. That's on your list. That's the west number one Why do you like that song, I don't know I was just That's wild what happened I would never not I would never in a million years guess you like that song I don't love that song It's on because I think it's in your range like months ago I I was like, oh I better get like a a list of songs that I could do and in our bathroom at work Someone put a radio in our bathroom at work so you can't hear people poop. Yes, and it just Uh, it just plays 103.5. I know freemantle huge company and somebody said There's only one men's bathroom and one's women's bathroom on the floor and so like There's just no urinal or toilet or just like a couple urinals and a couple toilets But like, you know, you know if you go in there someone's doing their business put a radio in there So so somebody suggested I don't want to hear everybody poop. So let's put a radio in here I gotta try that and it's on 103.5 all the time I've been in the bathroom and i'll turn music on i'm i'm peeing all the time in there and then that came on and I was Like, oh I could do that put that on my karaoke list. So I I pee and I have my karaoke list Those are all from peeing and listen to one. Have you ever gone by the bathroom and the the radio is not on? You just hear someone pooping. Yeah Not outside the door though. No inside but some people don't like the radio There's like a fight going on where some people come in and they turn off the radio and some people come in and they turn It back brother if i'm in that bathroom, I don't care how loud the music is. I'm gonna hear somebody. Yeah pooping I don't get it. It wasn't a good thought process is the radio at where the toilet is Open it up again. Okay, I want you to I gotta read this list brother Okay, let the music play is fine Yeah, but on actually not no, but I mean like it not that it's not bad It's a good song, but I just like I can't see you doing no no probably not but it was on and I was like Let the music play And you only think about the chorus you don't take our clothes Oh, that's the one that sings that so it's like, um, we don't have to take our clothes off To have a good time. Oh We can dance and party all night and drink some cherry wine, okay, you know it Broken wings. Yeah. Yeah, that's the one where you get really that's the one where you get really like you over dramatic Dramatic. Oh my god. I gotta see you do karaoke Is this gonna be at the christmas party? Is that why you made this list? I was thinking of doing I was thinking like oh ---- if I go to this new year's eve party I better have some ----. Oh, that's good. Yeah, it goes on paper planes. Oh, i've done that like four times Really? Oh, I ******* it. You know what that song does it makes people go like oh ---- He's gonna do paper planes And I took the time to because you can **** that song up It's a like rapping or doing anything fast and karaoke. Yeah, you need to practice You need to do it a couple times and i've done that. I can't believe you've just become such a aficionado of I need I need some like things in the and also on here is I ran And I ran that's that is a crowd pleaser super easy. Really? That's a crowd pleaser. I ran Yeah, I mean it's I mean it's so easy and ride like the wind ride like the wind that's a cross christopher cross Do you watch the yacht rock doc? Not yet. Oh, is it good? Yeah, if you like yacht rock I do. Oh, yeah clearly Yeah, they finally they they get the guy from steely dan They're trying the whole doc to get him to be in it And he calls them up and he goes would you be in the doc and it's just an audio recording He goes **** you go. **** yourself. Is it michael mcdonald? No, michael mcdonald's in the doc. But the steely dan is um, donald fagan Isn't he in he's in? Michael mcdonald. Yeah, he was on a lot of tracks. They hired him for stuff, but he wasn't Because he's in the background on ride like the wind Ride like the wind is christopher cross right, but he does the backing vocals And I got such a long way to oh, yeah, yeah Wow, that's ******* amazing Damn and even now she's still like we should have gone they were so upset that we couldn't go She like sent a text and said yeah She she went through this thing. She's like i'm gonna say you're not feeling well And I was like, I think that's too much of a lie. I don't feel bad Why do we do that? I know why do we do that? Why do you make up lies to make it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Just come down with the mid west virus Yes, and then you run into them at the store yeah and they're like, how are you doing you seem better But what do you mean? I'm fine. I'm fine You didn't have the midwest virus virus. It couldn't sing ride like the wind said you're really Oh, yes, I was yeah, I was yeah much better though Yeah Wow, well, so how do you feel about missing out? I was totally fine with it. She's still Grappling with it. She is even on the 6th of january Well, what's it gonna be for 2026? Jeff? How are we gonna have some fun this year? Well, I think we should get some guests Okay I think what do you got? I got nothing Okay, i'll get somebody no, no, I'll get some guests i'll get somebody good Problem is is we got to do it. We have to do it at night, right? So we have to have to get somebody to come at night. We can try to find I mean we can we can for sure And if like depends on the guest bro, I will I will Ah, I'll make a meeting outside of work for a guest. Okay. All right I I I can I can start I can what's big in 26 for you like Going on what's going? Hey, do you know the party that you were going to go to? That I ended up going to you were going to be somebody's plus one Which party was that? The party with paul stefan was gonna make you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah crazy. It was craziest night. It was bar. Oh No craziest night jay. Don't tell me ever We were going crazy Naveen it was the most amazing night i've had in years. You're killing me right now. I know Talk with adam sandler no talk with kevin hart really made friends with laurie from shark tank It was jeff it was it was one of those things where I was like I got to the party and I was like, I saw all these important people and I went into my like, oh my god Oh my god. What am I gonna do? What am I doing here? and and then naveen was like just ******* just go talk to him like just be normal blah blah blah and I went and I We went and we just pounded that we we got these drinks they were huge They I don't know what they're doing these nowadays, but this is like a big drink and they just ******* And then I and then I had a couple drinks and then You were off was off to the races. Really? Yeah, it was so fun I mean, I honestly I I talked to laurie for too long. No, no. Yeah, I mean we talked to laurie for like an hour I was like I gotta talk to other people She did she it was you had a prior she had a you had a prior office no, no, she was great Maureen was taught. I'm, sorry. Naveen was talking to uh, Laurie and I was talking to her husband. They were great. They're great, but we talked to him for like an hour Wow, I talked to him so long. I was like, I thought they're gonna be my new best friends, but they never called Laurie, what's the deal? I was so drunk that You weren't drunk drunk. I was pretty drunk not drunk drunk, but I was like, you know loose And after I talked to adam sandler and after I talked to kevin hart I was like so long First I talked to adam sandler. I was so on cloud nine that I was just like That's it. I'm walking right up to kevin hart Really because adam said we're so nice And then and then I and then I saw laurie and I went laurie. Thank you for all your years on shark tank She was like she looked around she was like what? She she goes thank you Thank you, and then maybe a couple minutes later. She goes all your years. I like hit her She's like all your years on shark day. What are you doing? What are you doing? So fun and she's really sweet she's really smart And she loved naveen That's so fun. That makes me sad. I wish I went Yeah, I I I I should have I should have said I should have said I should have said to maureen I gotta go laurie from shark. It wouldn't have it wouldn't have mattered. It would have for me. I would have loved it Wait, what was he gonna say? Oh, I don't know, but we're talking about guests. Well, what are you gonna do for 26? Oh 26 I'm, i'm gonna we're gonna i'm doing a tv show i'm setting intentions. We had this whole moment today Where naveen like brought we were at griffith park or griffith observatory today She was like I want you to like stand here and I want you to I want you to really Having having set your intentions. I want you to think about what you want this year and blah blah blah blah So I did it and then right after that a guy came up to us And he was like, oh he's like hey, he's like I uh, I was really sick for a long time and I used to watch your videos over covet and you know, I just want to let you know that like You know you it was so nice to meet you and your videos meant a lot to me and I was like, oh my god And so like after that moment, I was like, all right, I gotta be like I just gotta be ******* cool. You know I gotta have you just figured this out now Well, whenever I mean i'm glad you did Yeah, but it's very hard for me to just stay like Everything's great. Yeah, you know, I guess that's what i'm gonna try to do in 2026 just Present be present Is that what you mean? Nope Not what he means. Yeah be present What about you? I mean Yeah, i'm gonna try to be present. I'm gonna try to stay like, uh above board Just in general. Oh, yeah Just like don't go down to the bar No, not that I never go to a bar. No, I know i'm too old. I always say that to devine I say i'm going down to the bar She'll be like She'll be like she knows i'd not I would never go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah She'll she'll play along with me I just think above board all the time like oh stay on track stay on above board stay on track stay on track like Yeah be productive get ---- done think about what you're gonna do mainly i'm like I gotta stay away from a lot of times. I think like how many years do I have to keep doing this ----? Like when can I? When's the exit plan? I gotta get out of thinking about the exit plan. You know what I mean? Where it's like, oh, so don't don't sit there and think about the exit plan Yeah, stop stop that mental thing of like what am I getting out of this? Or like or like how can I stop having to do all this ----? Yeah. Yeah, just love what you're doing. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes like, uh max call max called me today and he's like Uh, because we joke around all the time And he's doing in in his acting conservatory This week or this month. No just a week. I think he's doing um a voiceover thing Yeah, like so they're like working on their sort of like commercial voiceover stuff and he's like dad. I killed it today He did he goes I because he's in the uk They don't know anything about like and so he did like a chevy. He made a chevy silverado commercial Yeah, because we listen to the dodgers all the time Yeah on the radio and it's super aggressive ads on the radio for the dodger game and it's like chevy silverado Yeah, cold rolled steel Yeah, yeah, and so he he like put it because all the jokes we make when we do it He put it together and he did it and he's like, uh he's like I killed I totally killed but I need a contrasting I need something contrasting to that and I was like, you know what you should do. Yeah, that's like Matthew mcconaughey used to do he used to be the spokesperson for beef Yeah, it was called beef. It's what's for dinner And he'd say stuff like it's not just beef it's a relationship Oh, yeah ---- like that. Yeah, and I was like you got to do mcconaughey's beef commercials What and I was like, oh, yeah, he did beef commercials. Oh, wow. And so, uh, we were like trying to find them They're hard to find now can't find them That's such a great segue totally actually hard to find Try to I dare you to find multiple beef commercials beef commercials by matthew mcconaughey He has those cadillac ads Lincoln but yeah, yeah, yeah, and I told him that I was like, they're like he's giving an oscar speech But it's about lincoln your wife ever get mad at a at a at a like a fantastical situation that she made up Like what example place the other day to me was like, hey, do you want uh? I have this girl candy coming over to massage you later. Is that cool? And there's no there's no candy. That's not happening. No, it's just like a fake thing and i'll be like, oh, yeah Yeah, have her come over She'll be like, all right. You want me to have candy to come over candy's gonna come over and massage you and i'll be like Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but then like I I pick the phone up. Yeah, and i'm like candy. What's up? Yeah, four o'clock that all of a sudden she's like mad You know what I mean? She created the fictitious situation, but yeah, right right. Yes, right. She created the situation. Isn't that funny? Yeah Yeah, she's funny. No maureen doesn't do that. She doesn't usually do that She doesn't make up a story about a fictitious masseuse coming over Say it to her tonight when you get home go. Hey, uh Candy jason. Jason has a woman named candy coming by to massage him. Yeah, and um What do you you know, what do you think of that? And then be like it's not real It's just completely made up She would be fine with it because she wants she once found me a masseuse to come over to the house. Yeah It was a dude. No, it wasn't and it was the best massage i've ever had. Yeah, really? It was the best. Oh, I think you told me about this. Did we talk about it on? No, you're talking about the podcast, but she was she kept pushing scientology, right? Transcendental meditation. Yeah, she set up her table outside in our little outdoor room area. Yeah, I was like in heaven good rub She was like i'm gonna she's like one of your legs is shorter than the other How tall are you and i'm like i'm like 5 10. She's like you'll be 5 11 when you're done and I was like **** yeah, let's do this. Wow. Let's go. You're gonna be 5 11. I know That's a bold. Nobody can do that. I know. Well, that's where you were you taller? No Oh, that's just like a turner phrase like you're gonna feel feel feel 5 11, but I couldn't so Like no, jason. She can't actually make me taller and it was like it was like a gift I think it was like a birthday gift. Yeah, and it was the best massage I ever had but about two-thirds of the way in Yeah, she's like do you have a lot of stress and I was like and she's like do you um Do you and i'm like, oh we're talking like I didn't I don't like talking Do you said that in my brain? Yeah, and um, i'm like, oh we're talking and i'm like going with it. I'm like Yeah, I probably should meditate she and then she went into the tm pitch and really started pitching tm Talking about there. It's not that much money and I was like, okay. All right. Okay. All right Let's not and I got through the massage and she's like, how was it and I was like it was great To maureen. Yeah, it was great. She's like what's wrong? And I was like She pushed she was trying to get me to get into transcendental meditation and it felt a little Pyramid scheme-y like a little and she's like, oh, that's oh, okay And then like I don't know months went by and she's like I'm like, I would love when she's i'm gonna call her and I was like, I don't know What about the tm thing that happened? She's like just Just be like just shut it down Like if she's not gonna bring it up again, you already didn't take the bait. You didn't take the tm bait so she pushed it the second time and I I'm like, all right. All right. All right. She came carry the chair the table up the stairs Same thing worst getting the best massage and it's longer now and i'm like, oh she knows she knows i'm not i'm i'm no tm I'm, no tm fish. I'm not i'm not gonna bite. Yeah It happened again. She brought it up. She brought it up again, and I was like, I don't want to do tm She's like you said that yeah, I was like, how'd you say it? I'm, not into that This is mama's wine, yeah And the massage wasn't good after that really yeah, I just was I think she was like damn a little mad which i'm sad about because Man, it was the best. It was the best massage I don't even like getting them because they're not It's tough tough when they bring the table over And they're they're carrying the table in they're working so hard. There's a lot more to it when they come to your house Yeah, I think I don't like when they come to the house I think that when they come to the house, you by the way candy never pushes tm She comes over she jerks me off and that's it that's it Like it's supposed to be like god intended for a home massage That is the guy's thought all the time. It's like home massage like is this gonna get yeah Yeah, this is gonna be a happy ending. Yeah Yeah, never that's what people think i've never had that have you ever had a happy no Good, that's good. Are you saying that because naveen's right there? No, naveen's out of happy ending. Oh, no That's all the time we have We've got spicy Um, should we keep going or you want to stop we should stop right? Yeah, we're at an hour Yeah, oh my god, unless you want to do two. No, okay guys. Thank you so much for watching jeff. Thanks for coming by guests I'm gonna work on it present be present guests. Oh my god. Is that your home screen? That is just quite the home. That's my home screen guys. That's naveen It's like quite a It's like a portrait Yeah. Yeah, this was like a really nice photo that someone took of her when she was in france Well stay lit