Finding My Wife in the Audience - Comedian Nate Jackson - Chocolate Sundaes Comedy - CROWD WORK

Well, you look like you gonna drink it. Sis, if I put this right here, is it gonna be okay? Thank you, you beautiful, baby. What, you ain't got no man? Why you look good in a ************? It's usually niggas next to women that look like you. Damn. Both your lips look like bottom lips. Oh, ----. You probably blow a nigga a kiss and he feel it. Like, huh. Damn. You fine. I don't even gotta say it. She fine. This ass hanging all off the side of this. Your booty look good. I'll wipe your ass. Nigga with my sleeve. Shit. What's your name? Sprite. That pussy got bubbles in it. What's your name? Sway. I know that's right. It's nice to meet you, Sway. And then let me talk to y'all. Y'all a couple? Y'all gonna make it? Yeah. Y'all look like Blueface and Christiana. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shut your ass up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody listen to that bullshit. Nigga take his hat off. All right, now. Shit. Say, you got a cowboy hat. You got a cow? It's just a hat? You ain't got no horses or nothing? Nigga, take that dumbass hat off, nigga. In here looking like the D is silent. Nigga, you ain't got no goddamn animals, nigga. Sway, where the **** you work at, man? You work everywhere? Never mind. I can't keep hollering at these whores. How the **** you work everywhere? That sound like your shell pussy. Sway, what that mean to you? You have multiple jobs? Well, nigga, say that next time. I work everywhere. It's crazy. Like, La Cienega? Right there? Yeah, I be telling this ************ pussy, nigga. Yeah, yeah. What's your favorite job out of all the jobs? I'm gonna come back, because I don't know why you're singing. She's like, ah. You hate all your jobs? You do? Tell me about your life. When you wake up in the morning, what's the first job you do? You do what, baby? Every time I ask her a question, it sounds like she about to turn into a temptation. I'm talking about my girl. My girl. The Temptations are an African-American group from the time period in America. Motown. You might want to look up Motown. Is that M-O-T-O-W-N? Yeah, I don't want you trying to spell Mo with an R-E on there. It's Motown. So what's your first job, pumpkin? A CNA instructor. So you teach nurses how to do nursing? Okay, and that's good money. Why do you still have two Mo jobs? **** you saving for a boat? You live in California, so you gotta have three jobs just to replace one man. Listen, let me give you my phone number. Because you're beautiful. You got your ---- together, a little bit of ass hanging off your sleeve. I just want you to know that there's options out here. You don't have to do the other two jobs. You can just wake up, teach the nurses, and then take your fine ass home and start stretching. Stretch. Because I'm a big dude, and I need you to be able to move everywhere when I'm moving. She's like, well, I gotta stretch. Listen, look at me. I need your leg the **** out the way. That's why. Don't shake your head that fast. Your hair wasn't moving. Your hair's shaking. That little hair stayed put while she shook her head. Sway, what you doing in the morning? That was corny, but I like it. What's your third job? Just out of curiosity. Real estate? Dang, I know you selling houses like a ************. Because if I was on the fence, and you was like, let me show you the house, and walked off in front of me, I'd be like, nigga, give me everything in the goddamn house. Don't change ----. I want all the furniture that's already in this bitch. This is staging. Leave it there, bitch. I need the ---- out of it. That's amazing. So you look very good, and you got your ---- together. You're getting money. How come you don't? What's up? Oh, OK, so you had something. And then she fucked it up. Am I picking up the right energy? It was a nigga. Did he wear cowboy hats? Shut up. It wasn't even the right moment for all that goddamn attitude. You have the attitude of a DMV employee, nigga, for no reason. Actually, ************. What do you do for money? Just out of curiosity. I do hair. You do hair for money? And you got him out here looking like this? That nigga look like he got a noogie. You remember noogie, nigga? That nigga knew his hair was trash. I need a hat. I don't give a **** what hat it is. That nigga just put on a cowboy hat. I'm headed out. I have to cover my hair some kind of way. The D is silent, nigga. Hey, man, I'm Nate Jackson. Y'all be cool.