Why the world is falling apart: turning down the genie

Gentleman’s Guide to Love
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I'm Dr. Orion Teraban, and this is Psych Hacks, Better Living Through Psychology,
and the topic of today's short talk is why the world is falling apart.
Many people today think we're approaching the end times. They look out through their
smartphones, shake their heads, and think, oh man, how did this happen? Things are looking dire.
No one values hard work anymore. Relationships are disposable short-term commodities. And
everywhere there's this narcissistic entitlement that seems to want everything,
and to want everything now. What's the world coming to? It's a common lament.
Personally, I don't think that we're nearing some kind of extinction event.
However, things are absolutely going to change, and they're going to change very rapidly. This
will be labeled a crisis, but the shadow of every crisis is an opportunity. Those in society who
can adapt will thrive. Those who cannot will fall by the wayside. And this is nothing new.
It's actually how things have always ever been. It's only in the particulars that we see any
novelty. In any case, I'm going to explain to you why the world looks the way that it does
using a very simple metaphor. Here it goes. Imagine that one day you find a magic lamp.
You give it a little rub, and poof! Out pops a genie. The genie says to you,
Master, thank you so much for freeing me. As a reward, I am willing to grant you three wishes.
No creepy catches. No strings attached. Just tell me your heart's desire, and quickest thought,
it's yours. So far, so good? Now, when presented with this miraculous, amazing, once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity, are you going to respond, Genie, I really appreciate the offer. However, I'm just
not interested. Thanks, but no thanks. You see, I just don't think it's good and right to receive
something I strongly desire so quickly, so cheaply, and so easily. I believe in the value of
earning the things I want in life. I think it's also more virtuous to sacrifice, often through
great effort and over many, many years, to achieve my goals. And ultimately,
I'm more concerned about cultivating virtue than satisfying my desires. Besides, I'm afraid that
getting what I want will be empty and meaningless unless it is bought with my blood, sweat, and
tears. Honestly, if I don't do things the hard way, overcoming obstacle after obstacle, I find
no fulfillment or satisfaction in the outcome. So unfortunately, I must consider your offer to
be a well-meaning trap, which will only cause me to expect that all my desires should be realized
in like fashion, without effort or sacrifice. I must earn my happiness so I will respectfully
decline. Like, is that how you're going to answer the Genie? I seriously doubt it.
If you're like the vast majority of people, the only compunction you're going to feel
will be over which of your numerous desires you'll choose to satisfy first. You will not
pass up the Genie's offer. You will use all three of your wishes and consider yourself extraordinarily
lucky. Very likely, you will even try to use some of your wishes to get even more wishes
so that you will never not be able to realize your desires as you see fit.
Unless you would turn down the Genie, do not pretend to a virtue that you do not possess.
And this, in a nutshell, is why the world looks the way it does. No one turns down the Genie.
Except, instead of magic lamps, we have very advanced technologies. Advanced technologies
that are also accelerating at a remarkable rate. And the ultimate end of nearly all of
these technologies is to fulfill our needs and desires more cheaply, more safely, more easily,
and more quickly than has ever been possible in the course of human history. Our technologies
have reached the point where they are functionally indistinguishable from magic. And no one,
no one is going to turn down the opportunity to possess that power.
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description. Again, our technologies are magic lamps. They satisfy needs and fulfill desires
more cheaply, more easily, more safely, and more quickly than anyone could possibly have dreamed
even a century ago. However, in the midst of this unprecedented opportunity, there are many
who still believe, for some reason, that it's reasonable to expect that other people are going
to turn down the genie and perpetually resist this effortless gratification. And that's just
not going to happen. While turning down things you don't want isn't hard, turning down things you do
is something that human beings just weren't created to do.
What the present day has taught us and continues to teach us is that virtue only really grows out
of necessity. And much of what has been necessary in the past, patience to overcome hardship,
tolerance to promote social harmony, faith that we will taste milk and honey in the next life,
has been a necessity reframed as virtue, which is actually an excellent psychological adaptation.
However, do we really need to have faith that we will receive milk and honey in the afterlife
when milk and honey are so cheaply abundant now? Do we really need to practice tolerance
when we can just not deal with the people we dislike or disagree with?
Do we really need to exercise patience when there's an app for that?
There's an old Zen parable about two masters, one of whom spends his life learning to walk
on water. When, decades later, he finally demonstrates this amazing skill to the other,
the second master seems unimpressed.
What good is that? He responds. You know, the ferry only costs a nickel. If I want to get across
the river, I take the boat. Did you really devote your life to solving a problem for which we
already have such an agreeable solution? And that's the flip side of virtue and self-denial
today. It often seems foolishly unnecessary in light of our available solutions.
Now, some might argue that there is no sense of fulfillment in an accomplishment that was
not secured through effort and sacrifice, and I would agree. However, we need to remember that
only a minority of people are going to choose the hard way when easier paths are available.
Taking the hard way requires, among other things, a good deal of self-efficacy, the belief that one
can achieve one's goals without the genie's help. It also requires skills and competences and
virtues that are expensive and uncertain in their acquisition. And since they are expensive and
uncertain, they will only be pursued by those who either a.) already possess the resources
to support themselves through this process or b.) have no other choice. That is, mark my words,
the cultivation to virtue moving forward will increasingly be a badge either of privilege
or necessity. The folks in the middle will take the easy path. And since there will always be
more people in the middle than at the extremes, this is why things seem to be falling apart.
All this is to say that it's easy to look at today's world and point a finger. However,
unless you are prepared to turn down the genie, you're actually part of the problem you complain
about. Those who exhort a return to traditional values and common sense may preach to their
respective choirs, but they largely fail to grasp the deep instinctual human tendencies
that have brought us to this point. We are ill-equipped to meddle with magic,
and the genie won't be going back in the bottle.
What do you think? Does this fit with your own experience? Let me know in the comments below.
And please, send this episode to someone who you think might benefit from its message. I know you
know somebody who needs to hear this. Because it's word of mouth referrals like this that really help
to make the channel grow, guys. Help me help you help me help you. Other value propositions,
anyone looking to join my free weekly newsletter for which I write original content, no AI,
or book a paid one-on-one consultation with yours truly can do so on my website. There's also my
books, The Value of Others, my best-selling exploration of the economic model of relationships,
and my psychological novel, Starry Night, where I explore the final weeks of painter
Vincent van Gogh's life. There's also my private member community, where among other things I host
bi-monthly group consultation calls with a wonderful group of folks. Check these resources
out. A lot of great value there. The links to everything are in the description below.
As always, I appreciate your support, and thank you for listening.
