"She's Falling Prey To The Shopping Channel & Facebook Scams"

In today's digital world, you need ID theft protection that actually works. Protect yourself at xander.com. >> I'm calling on behalf of my mother-in-law. She's 85 years old. She's uh on a fixed income through social security and she's a widow. Um we just recently learned that she's racked up $38,000 in debt on credit cards through QVC, JTV, things like that. She's gone into a debt consolidation company without our knowledge and then she's still spending using her ATM card through QVC JTV HSN and every purchase is the five e easy payments. So she's got money coming out of her ATM now daily that's drawing her into the negative. And on top of that, she was just start we found out she was trying to refinance her home that would take her mortgage up to um about 55% of her income. So, we're looking for suggestions. One, with the debt that's in collections, and two, how to stop the ongoing money that's coming out of her account literally on a daily basis. >> Doesn't matter if she goes back and does it again next week. We think we finally got her to the point where she realizes that she's got a problem and she can't do it. >> Will she sign it over to you? Because right now you don't have a legal claim to tell her to stop. >> So, she does have a living trust and I am her financial power of attorney there. But she has not been declared incompetent or anything like that. We don't know whether or not I want her to shut down all of her checking accounts and she has no spending available to her except what you give her and you operate her account as if she's incompetent voluntarily. >> One of the things that's one of the things that my wife and I were discussing was whether we should shut down that account and >> for her own good. Not because you need her money, but I mean she ain't got any to start with. But the the um but the bottom line is is I don't believe her. This is a lonely lady that is getting someone on the phone who's talking to her on the shopping channel and she's figured out a way to have a conversation when she's sitting there by herself. And she's going to do it again and again and again and again and again until you take until you take all manner of payment out of her control. And the only way to do that right now since she's not deemed incompetent is voluntarily she has to give that to you. >> Yeah. She's gonna look look we I've this is I've heard this story a bunch of times in 35 years. Okay. And um it it's a classic. And so the um I'm not just jumping to conclusions here about this unique situation. Um I'm telling you what I would do if it was my mother-in-law. I would say, "I really can't help you unless I help you. And here's how I can best help you. I will make sure you have food and your house, and I will get these bills paid off for you, but we're going to stop all spending, and I'm going to control the account and make sure you have stuff and until you can get the other side of this, and then we'll look at what whether we want you to do it or not. But we're going to take the social security check, put it in a different bank, and we're going to open up an account, and I'm going to be in control of that account. We're going to close the other account. Okay. And then you can jump on the phone with the uh miscellaneous payment people and just go, "Good luck. She's 85. She's on social security. She's got nothing." Um, a matter of fact, I if I can scrape together a few dollars of hers, I'll settle it with you. I've got full power of attorney. I'll send that to you. And so what you did was pray on old people and took advantage of them and sold them stuff they couldn't afford. So you're going to get what you deserve, which is nothing, honey. So, I'm going to totally mess with them. Bloody their nose. I'll pay them something. But, um, they can be cleared up. You're just going to have to bully them for what they and that's what they deserve. >> Yeah. >> But you can't do it if she's doing 10 more tomorrow. >> Right. Right. >> And she will, dude, don't you think? >> That's our number one concern. Yes. >> Yeah. Larry Briquette used to say, "Financial problems are not the problem. They're the symptom." If these problems are the symptom, then what's the real problem? I think it's loneliness. >> Part of it, but some of it she's clicking through things on Facebook and they're signing up her up for things that she's not even realizing that she's signing up for. >> Yeah. Okay. She's being prayed upon as an elder that doesn't understand the technology and she's lonely. >> 100%. >> Yeah. And so, um, you know, I I I've got I've got to build a system that that brings that into consideration to help her. And that's what I'm outlining. >> Will she turn it over to you? You think she'll do it? >> It depends on the day. >> Yeah. >> At times she's seems like she's wanting to help and then at other she gets stubborn and is like, "I know what I'm doing. Just leave me alone." >> It's your wife's mom. >> Yes. >> Your wife got siblings? >> Two of them. Um >> Yeah. She needs to make sure they're in the loop. >> They They are. Yeah. We've >> But I mean, they're in the loop with you taking this over. Cuz then they're going to be calling me and go, "My brother-in-law stole all my mother's money." >> That's right. >> Yeah. >> And then you're setting up another war when she passes away because then it will be like, "Where's the money? What'd you do? And we didn't know you were doing this." >> Just keep a just keep a real clear ledger so you know exactly where every bit of it went so you can handle an audit >> and uh you just send them the audit and go, "Good luck. Figure it out. You weren't there. You weren't helping." So, uh, but that's coming up, too. But I I would I'd send them a report once a month. Let them see exactly what's going on once you take it over so that they don't come back at you later. They don't have any legal basis, but I'm just talking about relationally. >> Yes. >> It understood. >> And I I I have a personal rule of thumb. It I'm not It's not ironclad, but it's just a just seems to work better. Can does your mother-in-law listen to you more than her own daughter or is this a conversation that your wife and her siblings can have? >> We've tried that. So her the siblings are out of state. My wife and I have been over there a couple times over the last couple weeks and we have the conversations together. My wife is standing right here with me now as we're discussing this. >> Okay. Sometimes a third party is helps and sometimes third party being you and sometimes it makes it more convoluted. Um and so y'all y'all know your family dynamics better than anybody. But um that's always where I want somebody to start. And for some reason sometimes people can't hear from their adult kids, but they can hear from somebody else. And so if you're that somebody else, that's great. >> Yeah. I had a family member of my wife Sharon's that asked me a detailed question about an estate thing. And I said, "Oh, that's easy. You just need to do this, this, this, and this. And if you don't do it, you're going to create these problems and you need to do it this week. Do this, this, and this. You got it. Yeah. Okay. You know what they did? Nothing. >> Not that. >> Nothing. It was freaking Dave Ramsey that said it. Okay. I mean, this isn't like the other brother-in-law. This is me, you know. So, you know, >> God almighty nothing. So, yeah, John's right. Sometimes it's the blood that's got to the the blood can that's got to make the message go through. Uh, it doesn't matter who it is. So, you sound very credible, Gary. I like what you're saying, and I think you're going to have to a partial is going to create a partial door open to Facebook scams, to uh shopping channel scams, and she's going to sign up for all of them, and she's going to end up and refinancing the house obviously is ridiculous. No, don't do that. I would rather just put all these other bills in collections. Just let them go to collections and ruin her credit. That'd be awesome. Yeah. So, she can't get anymore. Dave, so I hear this only because um I'm on this show, but if I read the headlines, all the headlines say is there's this bajillions of trillions of dollars of wealth in aging populations. But I have to believe that's concentrated because the more I'm on this show, I'm hearing more and more of what I would call the other untold story of aging populations that are increasingly falling for internet scams. Um, letting princes over in somewhere in Africa borrow money. >> The Nigerian prince has a Bitcoin. >> Yeah. all kind like but it's it's becoming like really significant and I don't know if there's a broader conversation that needs to happen but people need to sit down with their aging parents. Yeah. >> Especially the ones that are not the ones that have millions of dollars at the disposal as much as these folks who are on social security. They got nothing. >> Mhm. >> And they're mortgaging their souls for this stuff. >> Well, I've been hearing the shopping channel thing with aging for 30 years. That's been going on forever. Um what what I will tell you has increased is two things. buy now pay later. The four four easy payments for a freaking t-shirt, >> a $9 t-shirt, you get four payments on it. Okay, it's a problem here people. And uh then then the other thing is just technology has uh you know increased the size, the scale, the speed at which people get screwed. >> Yeah. And it g you a picture of it too. >> Exactly. You know, Facebook gives you access to some good things but also some that aren't. The best ID theft protection comes from Xander. Real monitoring, full restoration, no fluff.